All Things Religion Thread

Wow kewl stories abound. Descriptive, imaginative & deeply personal.
Reminds me of the first comment on the first page of this thread…

“ Apologies to the faithful...but this thread appeared to be the most appropriate for my epic tale

Anyone who has dealt with acute bouts of pain will likely testify, that the following days after taking the necessary drugs to get through, can present us with a challenging, dangerous, difficult and oft disturbing trip to the bathroom

After a few weeks of some serious meds...followed by a few days of no movement...I knew I was in for such a journey sometime soon...it's happened before...but this was next level...next next level...on a scale that could only be described as biblical proportions.

So I fought this beast for maybe an hour this morning...eyes streaming with tears, sweat dripping from every pore of me skin...I came face to face with the devil himself...I guess cheek to cheek is a more accurate description.

Never again can it be said that no man shall ever know the pain a woman feels during child birth

Won't easily forget the sound it made as I slew the beast...more a thud than a splash...I think the toilet even shook...but maybe I just imagined it

So after the necessary routine of clean up flush wash hands...I exit the room...but something catches in the corner of my eye

I'll be fucked if the giant brown beast isn't standing defiantly...like the statue of liberty...challenging, menacing, threatening. Staring at me from the depths. With only a moderate level of exaggeration...it's got to be 5 inches above the water level...2 inch diameter...a magnificent specimen

I am up to 5 flushes...still no joy

Holy holy shit! “

& remember the global water misting weather system…
Kewl.

“I have my own theory based on Genesis and years of study. Unfortunately Moses only gives us the short version of everything in earths early history when he wrote Genesis under Gods guidance.
My theory is this and it is just that, a theory….originally the earth was all joined together by land bridges ( Gondwana land)…It was all subtropical and around the earth were two layers. The ozone layer and the water layer. It never rained back then but the earth was watered by a global misting system. There were also huge amounts of water locked up underground. The UV damage on the earth was greatly reduced by there being an extra layer of protection. When God hit his reset button to wipe them out, the water layer around earth tuned to rain….serious rain that no one had ever seen. Also, the water under ground was broken up and surfaced.
Noah’s monstrous aircraft carrier was the only refuge. A massive ship 110 years in the making with 3 decks and a sample of all species that God wished to retain for the new world. No boat was ever bigger until world war two’ s aircraft carriers. It floated for a year with God chilling all His critters down into a less active state. The ark landed in now turkey and the new earth, with all its massive erosion and canyons and now great seas dividing continents became visible. More water locked back up underground. The fourteen cows fourteen sheep fourteen goats etc etc came in handy until new gardens could be established and of course Noah’s famous vineyard. God redistributes His retained species around the globe. Evil has been wiped from the face of the earth for a long season until the fullness of mans corruption reaches breaking point again. God will never flood the earth again while it remains. Mans lifespan gradually reduces capped to 120 years under his new environmental conditions.
If you apply my theory to your readings in Genesis it may bring it to life for you. See what you think.”

Then the guiding light of biblical proportioned bs bellowed :

“ we see the rise of intolerance everywhere….. “

^ yep and you endorse it ;)

Can’t let a bit of hypocrisy get in the way of when flopti quoted Winston Churchill to champion his own intolerant religious bigotry :

“How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property – either as a child, a wife, or a concubine – must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the faith: all know how to die but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.”