The Greatest Most Amasing Book Eva Written by Uplift
Latex does not require a capital "L"
@Brutus did UpLiFt ever respond to your question ..................what really happened in siargo.....
a Mills and Bourne paperback maybe ?
Keep telling people it's Welly not Wally.....!
Blah blah blah, halb halb halb
Bahahhahaha
So here I am, absolutely no choice, I've been Lynchy like, forced to surface, and deal with the media. Again. This place will be a good, typical chapter.
I was 58 then, on my favourite 6' 8" mackie. The two geeks on the shoulder in the little clean day actually 'introduced' themselves as 'local heavies'. I'd watched them shitting themselves on the end of the thing, while some other 'heavy' guys were washed away in the sweep and squealing for help down in the rocks, so I went for a paddle. Funniest thing is they, the 'local heavies' actually thought this was a big day. I am polite in the surf, they were out first, so sat wide to get a few, but, they just had to mouth off, all bad arse, mo fuckers. So I thought I'd paddle up and see what the commotion was about. So fucking funny. Like you gimps here, probably was you guys, one little puncy fucker shit himself and started squealing about how aliens would get me. Anyway I asked them why they weren't actually surfing the wave, and were they too scared, and gave them some choices. Follow me up to the actual peak, sit there watching and shitting themselves, or follow me to the beach. So, just like gatesy the gimp, welling from Mars, and mid coasty 'charger' ambles, they sat and shat, and shat, and shat and shat themselves. Best thing is I knew some swell would hit next day, and had the pleasure of 'chatting' to them on the beach before I surfed then, as there was no way they were going near it. I just love going to the gym.
Beautiful trim line, uplift.....
Good pick of the Mackie too, Uppity....
I seen Mick surfing on Monday, whilst visiting, you should of seen his board he was riding.
Looked about 7ft long maybe longer, flat as fuck all rocker, really wide in the nose and trimmed into a big fish looking thingie tail in the last 2ft which was half as thick as the rest of the board, big twin fins retro looking.
He was cruising pretty good on it too, the wave was a 5ft fat leftie.
Pluto not Mars.
wow, and youre not known for embellishing your stories with bullshit to talk yourself up at all are you?
1. from all the places ive travelled and surfed and actual 'heavy locals' ive met, not once have I ever met any that would 'introduce' themselves as "heavy locals". what a load.
2. im damn sure if they actually were locals, they would have it wired and would be taking off inside, especially with such an easy takeoff on offer.
3. aliens?? yeah ok. im sure they said that. maybe that's what you think you heard in your cross-wired brain, or maybe youre just making it up as well.
4. most likely a couple of backpackers still learning to surf is my guess, but you keep on making disparaging remarks about others to try make yourself look and feel better, if that's what works for you.
5. But, Credit where credit's due. When I can qualify for a seniors card, I hope I can still surf waves at least that size.
It was you wasn't grogesy, not known for anything but being a snorter. Come in, I'll explain it in person again. Or keep shitting yourself again.
bahahaha.. you wouldn't be the one doing the explaining old timer, I guarantee that
More shitting.
Stray Gator is that page 1..? is it as long as "Game of Thrones" or "Lord of the RINGS"...?
It makes ya eyes go funny, I started seeing things like an illusion or something.
uplift wrote:
mate can u help me with calf cramp/knot problems-posted it in politico, thanks mate, dave
Gidday Dave, sometimes its nutrition related, sometimes fitness/strength. As well as magnesium, potassium is important for muscle contractions. Bananas, beans, especially white beans, beet are good sources. So is orange juice, but not worth guzzling the sugar. A good supplement is what I recommend as well. This one is best value, these guys are really cheap, reliable, freight is stuff all, DHL, $8.00 per order, one week delivery time, usually quicker. No PO box delivery with DHL option though.
http://www.iherb.com/Twinlab-Potassium-Caps-215-Capsules/58696#p=1&oos=1...
Take a couple a day.
Here is the best, assimilatable zinc/magnesium supplement. Most are shit, might as well eat a rock or a shell. Zinc is good for recovery/immunity/hormones.
http://www.iherb.com/Primaforce-ZMA-180-Veggie-Caps/58651#p=1&oos=1&disc...
Take a couple before surfing, 3 before bed, with water on empty stomach.
Calcium is really important too, if your diet is shitty, use this, costs stuff all, works best.
http://www.iherb.com/Now-Foods-Calcium-Citrate-100-Pure-Powder-8-oz-227-...
Just chuck half a teaspoon in food or drink, you wont taste it.
You could also massage your calves with this, but its a weird, almost stinging, prickly feeling for some people. The best way to get magnesium in the system though.
http://www.iherb.com/Life-Flo-Health-Pure-Magnesium-Oil-8-oz-237-ml/3384...
Importantly get them stronger and fitter and increase blood flow. Walk bare foot in really soft sand. Start gradually. Be patient. Just a few minutes at a time to begin with. Increase over time gradually to 30 minutes. Calf raises on a step, use one arm to balance on rail/wall. Make sure the ball of foot is well and truly on the step. Bare feet is best. Not if your skin is too soft though. Lift/Flex as high as you can for 2 secs, hold for 2 at the top, then lower/stretch as far as you can for 4 secs, lift toes toward shins at bottom to maximise stretch, stay stretched for 2 secs. When you can do 2 sets of 100, do one as described, one pumping up and down as quick/explosive as possible. Then when thats easy, start doing one leg at a time. Same procedure. Every second day. At first they might exhaust even quicker when flippering, as they will be fucked/recovering, until they get stronger.
Here's a good demo to give the idea.
Hope it helps.
Nice work uplift... There you go dave the rave..... When it comes to muscle repair/strengthening, the lift knows his shit... ;)
Uplift why didnt you hit the bombie up the road? Being the heavy you were? 6ft blcjs or 12ftbombie? How does your rep sit with the current next level chargers? The ones that ride 10ft boards not coz they are old cunts but coz they have to? Where are the shots of you or your 10ft boards..
You finally got some sleep little barely? Good. After that frantic, squealing, pleading, desperate midnight squwark down. I thought I'd let your little, quivering, barely frame rest, and recuperate. What did you think of my surfing blacks barely? One thing that I know for certain, is that you would have been looking in at me. That I never once had to wonder if you were going, or if you were on my right at blacks. Ever. Never. Not once. How did you go out there? Did you go? If you did, when I was surfing, for certain you would have got in my way, or gone over my head a few times.
If you want to know what the current thinks, drive over and ask them. I didn't surf it to wonder what they think. I don't care. Probably over half my surfs I surfed alone. A sort of better looking, muscular, happy go lucky, bigger... George Thorogood. I never asked anyone to take a photo of me anywhere, or put any effort into that. Any photos people took of me must be because they must have thought, cheepers that looks pretty fucked, might take a photo. Van vanity and Pete were the start of the photo frenzy. When I had kids I tried to buy some film in Lincoln to get some shots of them, but they told us Pete and van vanity had pre bought all foreseeable years supply of every self capturing media ever invented, or ever to be invented. In sepia tone too. And that the current was coming in begging for some every day.
The new bombie current followed van vanity suit. It was a secret frenzy... Jervis. They surfed the place years ago. All of the streaky guys. Jeff, the 'fridge' from kimba too. All had stories when they nervously came to the point. They always do. (And I will, as promised, protect that legend to the end.) I listened to the stories, all of them. The point is, the point didn't. That's the point. Simple, but elegant... floggings. Wash aways. Hurlings, smashings, detonations, pulverising, 'stories'. So, I just liked surfing the point mostly. And soaking up the 'stories'. Not just from the secret bombie either, the 'stories' come from everywhere... points, islands, bombies, even DY. Sandon was a memorable one too. The vicious, merciless, brutal, humiliating, savage floggings. The one's that don't come... think things, think shit, know shit. Silly things. Stupid things. Stupid shit. The Toddler was the best I ever saw. Including Carrol and Abberton. For a long time too. But, I had to rescue him, and rush him to hospital when he wouldn't listen to the point.
It got, stitched up the strongest current too, not long ago. Anyway, call me extremely good looking, call me extremely muscular, call me a fool, but if I hear or read the 'stories', then I expect the 'story' to unfold, to play out at blacks. Its not my fault, I had to watch years of it, but mostly, not always though, it unravels. Oh the floggings, oh, as described by your fellow yorker, 'the carnage', oh the wash aways. I will, as promised, protect that 'legend' to the very end.
I've had a few 8'6" s little barely. The photo above is on a 6'8". I hate lugging too much shit around, don't like towing, skis, sleds, pump up suits, film crews, but would have liked my 8' 6" out there. Still did ok though. 55 then. That wave is heavy at size, heavier than blacks, not the heaviest though, comes out of the deepest trench in the world. You wouldn't even get out there barely, you aren't a fit in that scenario. Its not for you my little barely there little friend. You just stick to squwarking questions. Blacks isn't for you, never has been. You are a gleesons boy. A sunsilk boy. By choice.
I hope that helps barely. Sleep my little friend, dream of lifty at the point. Its not for you, but dream... dream big. not small, and if you must, screech, squeal, quiver, plead and squwark down. Again, I hope that helps, I can eleborate if you like barely.
The gym is like the point barely. The stories... the unravelling 'carnage'... the quivering and pleading. The dreams. Theres a bar in the rack. Simple, but elegant.
You fucking idiot.
I know you're down in there somewhere little barely.
Fuckin how good is George Thorogood and the destroyers...awesome havent heard that in years!Good advice on magnessium Uplift,thanks.
Sheepdog wrote:Nice work uplift... There you go dave the rave..... When it comes to muscle repair/strengthening, the lift knows his shit... ;)
to true jimmy, thanks uplift, have already some supplements and perfect step set up to practice.
thanks mate, may you have many beautiful uncrowded barrels.
taking 2000mg magnesium a day enough?, and bananas cheap, so eating heaps, enough potassium in three nanas a day? but onto step exercises and soft sand walking, thanks again mate, u given me hope which is a wonderful gift to give someone- all the best uplift, thanks.
Tide looks a bit too high or something, not really barreling.
Gidday Dave, it depends on the source of magnesium and when you have it. 2000 mg is heaps, if it actually makes it into your cells. Most supplements don't assimilate well, and are just marketed shit basically, and so just cause diarreah. It would be best to use the oil, because of the severity of your cramps, just to be sure its not a deficiency. Its safe, not too bad a feeling, kind of a prickly, dry salt feel on your skin, and you can wash it off after a while. Some sports massage therapists really like it. That is the best way to be sure its getting to the cells. Magnesium is really important for heaps of processes, in every cell, and is used a lot if stressed, tired etc. Which most people are in our advanced society. But the blood flow/fitness thing is equally important. And easily fixable. Here's a heap of blurb about the oil/magnesium. There's lots of stuff about magnesium, has been for ages, even back in the 1930's there were official concerns about deficiencies due to soil depletion. Mahler is pretty well regarded, has been around for a while, and can walk the talk. Thats my recommendation, that oil I posted is a good deal. It can be a ludicrous rip off. Now that it's popular. Up to you. I would still have a potassium supplement. Costs fuck all, less than a night at the pub. And the ZMA, calcium. But, the fitness/blood flow is a big thing too. You'll get on top of it. Be patient though. Have a good one.
http://www.mikemahler.com/store/nutrition-supplements/magnesium-oil.html
'Tide looks a bit too high or something, not really barreling.'
Oh if I had had a dollar for everytime someone said that on the cliff at blacks. 'Looks fat, shouldery...does it get big? I will protect that legend to the very end... as promised. Not all of them though. And there's plenty, well... tons. Did I tell you about the Merryweather board riding champ? Yazzie was there for that... before he got body slammed and hurled into a crack and then mowed down, and snapped his ankles. Fuck'n newies turned on him like a bunch of rabid jackals... daubs and co... savages. Sandon was a beauty though, he was used to a bit more size and grunt... barrels... up on the fucking cliff anyway. Vaporised. Barely anything left. They just keep coming. Always have.
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rubber blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah dipthong blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blacks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah my penis blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah growth hormones blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah steroids blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah on my knees blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah gee I love eggs blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah model trains blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah strange things with Latex blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah please love me blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I love Brutus blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and Frank Bainimaramer blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah here’s Wally blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah why don’t you love me blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah why don't you love me blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ping pong balls blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.