Slater

Yeh interesting. Watch out for hidden mines... Lifty, go on ahead, let us know if its safe!

I think Slater is the ultimate surfing role model. Deluxe attitude and skills.

Never really thought of 42 as old though, more prime time. Maybe too much info, but surfed pretty much everyday then. In waves considered pretty hard. Especially take off wise. Injuries? Shoulders? Back? Knees? Nah, you gotta be kiddin', surely? These below were taken around 15 years later than 42. Somebody took them, probably thought it looked slow, fucked or something like that. Who knows?

The boys get mad at me, but I rate these waves as harder, more powerfull and quicker.

Cheepers I just saw I can make chrissie cards out of em! Pete and van vanity would be proud... wouldn't they? Who wants one... blinder... tra la la?

Magazines are funny things. Advertorials rule. Chia seeds eh? That's pretty recent for him, even though they have been around way before the market got to them. Reminds me of the flax explosion and cure all. Worse than spirulina. Except, in reality it doesn't cure much at all. Not as much as eggs anyway. Except eggs 'kill you'. Not me though... that's worth an article isn't it? Just the essence alone! Bloody Aztecs eh? Who'd have thought? Oh oh... there's that flamin' Truth stuff again!

The Jordon thing is funny. Incomparable. Irrelevant. Jordon stood out in a system that measures and tests and promotes pure athleticism from a very early age. Where the very, very best athletes, where huge numbers of athletes that often excel in 3 sports, plus track and field, fight it out for the biggest purses. Where the likes of Jarryd Haynes, Rugby League's best athlete wants to test himself, despite admitting how hard it will be. And where most, (that is much greater and more truly measurable athletes than any pro surfer, the best of the best) get cut. Even in high school. Lebron James just beat out all others in the universally accepted measures of pure athleticism. Not skill at the specific sport, but pure, measurable athleticism. That means a lot to the most elite sports, always has. Benching 80 odd kilo's for considerable reps, standing jump, 40 metre sprint, flexibilty, reaction time, endurance, power, strength, etc, etc, etc. All measurable and consistently measured. Just to get a look in, at the most elite level. Pro surfers steer clear of that sort of thing. Can't blame them. One top rated, supposedly athletic one went in something along those lines years ago, but it was pretty ludicrous. Hilarious. Even worse than occy's debacle. Still, some rate pro surfing as a marathon? That's even funnier stuff. A marathon sitathon? 15 sec waves a marathon?

Anyway, maybe too much info.

'Outside' mag eh? What do they sell? Did the Chicago Bulls play outside... cheepers... you 'learn' something everyday!

Anyway I have to do a workout, and its late.

Go back... leave me, save yourselves, its a trap!!!

A workout .....at 11.15PM ?

Kelly should spend less time surfing in the ocean and more time lifting lumps of metal in front of a mirror in an air conditioned room.

There I've said it. It's what everyone's thinking anyway. THEN maybe his surfing will start to develop. Until then , well, it's embarrassing to watch really isn't it ?

Does anyone know how Lebron went at Chopes this year ? I missed it, I'm assuming he won though. He's been training really hard lately.

Barrel dodger lifty

More than one way to skin a cat.
I surfed a demanding river mouth a few years back with a fella celebrating his 56th birthday. No gym for this bloke, just regular surfs and always active. I caught whiff of a familiar scent on the boat ride out and turned around to see him taking a Marleyesque toke of a monster spliff. Perfect perpetration apparently , cause he ripped the bag out of it. And still does.

Back to Slater. Always find him interesting. Never failed to be blown away by his surfing even into his third decade. Swellnet should try to get an interview with the Legend. Not sure what there is left to ask the man after all these years though. Maybe Swellnet crew could brainstorm some unique, penetrating questions to put to the man.

So slater dosnt do lycra in front of mirrors to help his surfing, stone the crows lifty can you believe it!
He must need your help lifty to reach his true potential , whats wrong with him, dose slater not realise that to be an elite athlete he needs to train in the NFL, the sheer ignorance. you nèed to call him and offer your services so he can visit you and surf blah blah blah blacks.

Blowin wrote:

Back to Slater. Always find him interesting. Never failed to be blown away by his surfing even into his third decade. Swellnet should try to get an interview with the Legend. Not sure what there is left to ask the man after all these years though. Maybe Swellnet crew could brainstorm some unique, penetrating questions to put to the man.

Maybe a follow up on how those webber banana boards are going!

uplift wrote:

Slater eat your heart out! will KS be doing this when he's finally over the hill too??

Are you kidding what is this bloke doing?

Saved another dead thread. Good ol' lifty!!!

'Does anyone know how Lebron went at Chopes this year ?'

You would have to pay him more than the whole event costs, including the combined prize money just to get him to show up for autographs. How did any pro surfers, the ones calling themselves elite athletes go in any of the events held to compare and test the world's elite athletes? The last guy that did, that they bothered to let do one, was fucking hilarious. Totally, utterly helpless.

Yeh, 11.15 blowly. Do them whenever. Are you really following my every action and word at 11.15? All day and night? Stoked to give you a life! feeble although it is! You should do a workout. That would be really, really funny! Or watch and wonder what I'm doing. Up to you.

The disease pro surfing has always had. No paychecks and desperately comparing themselves against other sports, and elite athletes. It started out with boxing, tennis, then golf, even rugby at one stage. Comical shit. When they are truly elite athletes, they won't have to, and they will be payed accordingly.

You don't have to be athletic to be a good surfer. Its pretty obvious. You just have to surf heaps. The more the better. Heaps of drug addicts surf really well without training. Its not that hard. There's swarms of them on the east coast, and indo. Well, maybe for some it is?

Geez uplift your full of good cheer, I think you should change your name to plain old downer.

"You don't have to be athletic to be a good surfer, you just have to surf heaps"
No shit! That's all we want to do, your the cumstain who keeps going on about weights!
Your the only wanker who keeps going on about it!
You really are an absolute moron

Elite athletes love weights. Its pro surfers that call themselves elite athletes, not me. Stop going on, relaxe goofer! Its the new year!

Look stop making this all about me... again. Give slattsey some limelight! God knows he needs it! I'll try and give him his thread back!

The latest ground breaking fitness and health news is that chia seeds restore and preserve hair growth, create dollops of flowing locks... benny?

Saved another dead thread. Good ol' lifty!!!

Some things aren't worth saving....

But hey, the thread was started at 9ish pm, 30/12 on a Tuesday night..... PRIMETIME lol...... You were the first to show interest a mere 2 and a bit hours later... The following wed' morning (today), there have been 9 comments....... Not exactly a "dead thread"..... Seen worse......

BTW lift, also seen a few drug addicts in "elite" sport.... That cocaine nutter Maradona was first to come to mind...... Agassi...... Gavin Crosisca (Collingwood premiership player), Roy Tarpley (NBA), American top 100 of all time football star Michael Irvin.. I'm sure there's heaps more, and we haven't even touched steroid cheats etc..

What took you so long?

I knocked over the waffle tray... Had to restack it....

Anyway on a serious note, the chia thing is a classic marketing exercise. There is a much higher and better, but very little known/publicised plant source of oil, antioxidants, flavones, nutrients, protein and fibre than flax, chia, hemp and even fish. It is assimilated and utilised much better by humans than any of those. Its oil profile matches human requirements virtually perfectly, so instills the benefits sought by using the other oils, which do have known, associated problems, much better. Its cheaper to produce too, virtually a waste product, as whey once was before the market went beserk. However the market and health industry is just catching on in the US, so no doubt it will explode in cost. ALA flax, whey, hemp, chia etc. Although the benefit will be that it will be much more accessable. It is common in China, which presents issues.

Is it Cordyceps fungus?

No, its Perilla seed and oil. The best way to get it is in bulk from China, but that can be an issue re ensuring authenticity and freshness (oil) If you have trustworthy contacts there its not an issue. Flax and chia have inherent problems. Chia seed oil is a genuine blood thinner, flax creates issues for men. Those and fish oil, when used in sufficient amounts create stomach issues. Unlike Perilla.

However, remember, exercise induced inflammation is not such a simple, 'quickly get rid of it' cut and dried topic.

Gotta love marketing, uplift.... Cha ching... Or is it Chia ching ;)

I'm glad you mentioned that exercise induced inflation isn't such a cut and dried topic , Lifty.

I was just sitting here wondering how I was going to divert a thread on Slater towards that very subject.

I've got to be honest. I don't think my perilla oil contacts in China are that trustworthy either. Got anyone you could recommend ?

Same stuff I think BB. Used to decorate sashimi.

Wife loves it raw or chopped and used as a topping on soba or tofu.

I like it tempura style.

No, its not the same, not remotely. Its the seeds that have the oil, and the highest benefits, not the leaves. The leaves are actually low in nutrients, especially oil.

Sorry blowin, I couldn't recommend you to anyone. And sorry for working you over all those years you were grovelling out on the shoulder at blacks. It was you wasn't it... there were so many, maybe it was goofball... its hard to keep track of what was going on down there!!!... !!!... !!!

Happy new year!!!... !!!... !!!... !!!

Shiso seed is one of the ingredients in Shichimi or Japanese seven spice.

We sprinkle it on our rice.

Happy new year to you too Uppity, just about to head off to the Jinjya (Shrine) with the missus to ring in the new year. Hope you and yours have a rewarding and uplifting 2015:)

And to you too Swellnetters. All the very best.

Likewise, have a deluxe one!

And what a way to end the year and start the new one... Decisively out threading little slattsey and all the tail enders. Thanks blinder ..shit happens hey dawg!!!

Wow - last post at 11.32pm on NYE! No friends, no wife, no idea, eh, Mick?

Ouch, lizard!!!!! That's a bitchslap..... Mind you, up at the computer on news years day at 8.30am is a bit of a worry ;)

Lifty, fair play to you mate . I can't write your performances off till I've reached the same benchmarks in age as yourself.

But to compare yourself to Slater , who is performing ABOVE the most elite surfers in the world at 42 with someone that's accomplishments range towards " Pretty hard take offs ". Well... points for trying mate.
No doubt you're a well preserved specimen , by your accounts, but are you an elite athlete ?
We've all heard about surfers that put themselves forward as elite when they are surely lacking.
What would The Toddler say ?

PS That was me at Blaxxxx. Thanks for describing my preferred takeoff zone as the shoulder. When we both know it was more like the wrist. Elbow at best.
Stay young legend.... that means no more late nights !

'Mind you, up at the computer on news years day at 8.30am is a bit of a worry ;) '

Exactly. I'm all he's got. I made little gatesy. Gave the little gimp a life... a purpose. Lifted him up, Uplifted him. From being a useless, although elite, professional gimp, slapped by all and sundry everytime he opened his mouth. I gave him a voice, and a club formed. A club of fucking gimps. Out of the goodness of this big heart, I allow them to exist. I Uplift them.

There's always a cost though. In this case, slattsey got faded big time. Well, not really, I caught that chia wave real early, got in, hooked in before anyone even saw it coming. Before the chiaed up puddings, custards, bars, toasts, recipe books, jubes, creams, potions, injections, juices, tshirts, hats... complimentary tooth picks. I was in and out. Saw the see breeze line coming before they even noticed.

Inflammation is a funny thing. Sometimes its even necessary. Shoulders, knees, backs. You gotta love revolving barbells. To this day, the greatest invention the fitness world has ever seen. Simple but elegant. Unlimited load, unlimited application. A simple revolution made all the difference. In such a simple compact package. Kettle bells? .5kg to 1000kg set? Hilarious shit. Put russian... maybe special forces in the add, you'll sell millions of the fuckers. Sly used them... slyly. Straps... put navy seals... maybe chuck... maybe ninjas in the add, you'll sell millions of the fuckers. You'll never lift 500kgs though. Never have a core that strong. Its fun and games in the marketplace.

'Good morning, hows it going? All good... shoulders, knees, back... all good, no problems.' Standard procedure.

'Errr yeh, I been doing these Professor Freida Streiblendoibler kryogenic lesionburbler movements... she's Swedish you know. The Swiss Special Forces use them! They only take 3 minutes! Plus I take chia seeds.'

Part of the job. Years of training, years of experience. I've already noticed the quads, well, lack of, the glutes, well lack of, so no back then. And the scars. The endless ops. Simple procedures. Things show. Its simple anatomy, core, they are one unit. I notice the drooped shoulder(s) too. And the seeds...

'Want a toothpick... chia seeds eh... for the inflammation... not that you've got any? Where did ya get that scar? Ok pick that up. Simple, but elegant.'

'Ouwch... that hurths my back!'

'Eh? You said your back is good? Why are you rubbing your shoulder? Is that hurting too? What's with the knees?'

'Nothing, they are healed!'

'But they are hurting?'

'Yeh, but they are healed!'

'I might have some more chia seeds... and do a Streiblendoibler kryogenic lesionburbler stretch' I'm joining cross fit next week!!!

'Shit, is your surgeon good? You ok? Heartbeat funny? Yeh, the seeds thin your blood if you have too many. Not that you need too many, being healed and stuff. Watch em on the guts too... funny thing 'fibre'... they reckon you can rub em on your scars, makes your hair grow too!!!'

Shit, theres a song in that lot! Blinder, dawg?

Here's the chorus:

It hurts when it's healed

Fade away, fade away

It hurts when it's healed

Fade away, fade away

A couple of solo's would be good though, even a Hammond. And use the gravelly, talking but singing voice... if you must... bloody John Williamson. Something like this would be best though. The chorus would slot straight in. So would the hammond! Goes on a bit, perhaps a bit repetitive, but nothing wrong with that, they love it! Can't resist it!

'Elite athletes' eh? 'Elite Professional Athletes'. Big call. Easy enough to show, to prove though. Easy to catch the fans, the buyers, the market's attention. Next one of those combines, or next one of those events where they test the worlds top athletes against each other, measure and test pure athleticism just hook in! Benches, squats, sprints, leaps, the whole show... trounce the useless fuckers! Ere', look out maaaayytee, 225lbs... I'll bench that fucker hundreds of times!!! (no you wont, you won't even move it) Sprintin'! Line up boys!!! However, maybe worth remembering, its not going mano e mano with taj, ando and dane. Its real deal competitive. Where the real money is. if you want it, go get it. Put it out there. In the marketplace. Pure, elite athleticism. Grab the attention. Easy. Well, sounds easy enough. Simple, but elegant.

'The NFL Scouting Combine (Feb. 22-25) is crossing the finish line on another so-called “Underwear Olympics.” The Combine is just one step in the job interview process leading up to the 2014 NFL Draft (May 8-10). But make no mistake, millions of dollars are on the line during the 40-yard dash, bench press, vertical leap, broad jump, cone drills, Wonderlic test and BOD Pod tests.'

Milions and millions of real dollars. Guaranteed. Year after year. Some bad fuckers though. Some even payed to maim people. Even Mayweather got showed up.

'With everyone in the building looking for the “next Megatron,” Julio gave scouts a sneak peak at the new model of NFL wideout — weighing in at 6’3”, 220 pounds before flying for a 4.39 in the 40, skying for a 38.5” vertical and exploding for an 11’3” broad jump.'

Useless! Then, there's this. Surfees ho!

'Height: 6″2 Weight: 231
Beast Factor: 4.45 in the 40-yard dash (outdoors)…10.6 100-meters… 355-pound bench press…520-pound back squat…314-pound power clean…298-pound push press…38-inch vertical jump.'

Useless... then this! No problem, 'elite, professional super athlete' surfees ho!!!

Slap your money down boys!!!

One 'legendary' 'professional' surfee went in one of those things years ago. The less said the better. You would remember that sad, sad, sad (did I say sad) day, surely blinder? Carefull boys, its real money. Big money. Don't chuck it away on blind emotion, don't let emotion rule the day... think of the stock market!!! Oh the losses!!!

Thank God for boardies!!!

Uplift.. I got to 1.03.... I then found myself reaching for a pen so I could jam it in my ears and rupture my eardums..... Absolutely ghastly...... Self indulgent wank that hasn't stood the test of time....

"Goes on a bit, perhaps a bit repetitive, but nothing wrong with that"...... You were talking about the song, right? ;)
I do dig that watershot lift..... Beautiful colours.... Rich blue.....Better photo than the shoulder hopping one you posted....
BTW, You got a pretty big head, mate.... That explains the green mal with the pointy nose... Flotation purposes..... ;p
Do you have any more photo's? I've only seen your bottom turn, and a "surf boat pivot" cut back.... I'm sure you've got an old photo somewhere of you throwing a hack... Us big boys can displace a bit of water... It'd be nice to see, mate... Post it......

Sing about the marketplace!

Just like buying washing machines. Or cars. If the salesman reckon's it's the best of the best, will clean greasy overalls better than any other, thats not hard to test at all. If he reckons 0 - 100 in 6 secs, that's not hard to test. The real deal would be shoving it in everyone's faces. People couldn't help but notice. Elite, professional athlete'. Big call, big marketplace. Lots of money up for grabs, on offer. Not hard to put out there either, and put to the test. Get some self respect blowy. Your money is just as good as Bill Gates in the marketplace. Its a choice to be a product, sell it and make claims in the marketplace. Be a discriminating consumer. Discrimination. Make sure the product does what it claims, and if it doesn't, its just a marketplace, that's all, feel free to comment. A consumer's right. Being a product for sale is a choice. Its all fun and games in the marketplace. Every product, every consumer good is the best ever! How else would they sell them!

You lift me like a peptide,
A feather in your cap.
Repetition in the gym,
and the same with posting crap..

It's like a broken record,
but not in a sporting way..
The eggs are cracked, the milk is spilt
Day after fuckn day...

It hurts when it's healed....Fade away, fade away
He only cries when the onion's peeled, Fade away, fade away

But where would be be without him,
this enigma of the bight...
Getting deep 10 second barrels
away from public sight...

"Why do something now when you can do it fuck'n later.
And by the way I'd like to say I'd out surf Kelly Slater"....

It hurts when it's healed....Fade away, fade away
He only cries when the onion's peeled, Fade away, fade away...

copyright sheepdog/uplift 2015....... ;)

Blindboy.... Mate you do the music... I don't have access to a studio atm...... You me and uplift will go 3 ways on the royalties.... lol

Just back from the coast to see the carnage. You, Mick, are an oxygen thief. Time to give up your seat on the Earth bus, old man.

Thought you'd be up there in the one footers chargin' gatesy! Who slapped you today? I'll find out.

Stop dodging boys!

Ok you win then. Pro surfees are the greatest, most elite athletes the world has ever seen... and occult killed it on dancing with the stars. Not to mention that other poor sod.

And, Chia seeds are THE wonder food!

And don't worry about crossing blacks of that list sheepster, I had heaps... and heaps... and heaps... and heaps... (did I say heaps) for you. For years and years and years and years and years and years... (did I say years). None that small that you are worried about though... I must admit. Get out there son, you're in your prime time... aren't you. Don't forget the chia seeds!

Now give poor little slattsey his fuck'n thread back and stop picking on him!

Fuck you made me laugh Uplift.
And so did Stray Gator. Full tears for a little while .
You're both right.
So is Sheepy. Golden lyrics.

And back to the action.....

'and occult killed it on dancing with the stars.'

Ok, before everyone jumps all over me and disputes this comment, I'd like a chance to clarify it!

Firstly, they look a lot bigger in the pictures, don't they.

Admittedly, there were the coordination issues... well, the complete lack of. Then sure, there were huge problems with the balance and footwork... well, ok, no balance, no footwork. And, sure, who could forget the timing... well, you're right, what timing. Yeh, ok, admittedly he blew it and let it slip about the stiff, fucked, weak back... well, he had no choice. But he quickly clarified that and said that all surfers are like that, 'its a surfing thing'. Yeh, righto, I'm getting there, and the strength, give him a break... maybe his partner was tons heavier than all the others! Flexibility... lets not go there. Learning issues? Finally the fuck'n score. Lowest ever. Ever. I quote, 'worst ever performance... ever in the history of the thing'. 'Worst ever.' Fuck'n cheats!!!

So, sure, having seen a world champ surfee in his prime perform like that, (oh the horror), the obvious conclusion is, obviously... and clearly:

'That pro surfees are an elite, super coordinated, gifted bunch of 'super elite professional athletes', way more talented,and 'in tune' than all other athletes.' And that surfing is heaps harder than anything else.

But, if you thought that performance was completely ludicrous, you should have seen that other surfee 'professional elite athletic' debacle. The words, the commentators screams of, 'OH MY GOD' took on a whole new level of meaning.

They look heaps bigger in the pictures, don't they.

Somebody fuck'n pay us!!!

Uplift, you are missing the most basic facts in your pro muscle elite athlete yawn fest.

1- Athleticism does NOT = skill.
2-Strength does NOT = ability.
3-Bulk does NOT = pleasant style.

Jesus, uplift.... You contribute just 2 sentences, I write the bulk and the structure, BB does the music, we put you in for a 33.33% cut of the royalties, and you are still whinging...
Fuckn ingrate... ;p

'Uplift, you are missing the most basic facts in your pro muscle elite athlete yawn fest.

1- Athleticism does NOT = skill.
2-Strength does NOT = ability.
3-Bulk does NOT = pleasant style.'

You corkhead inzless. Exactly... you idiot. Its the common ludicrous bungle you endlessly make. Never confuse athleticism with skill. Especially when training to increase athleticism, of which strength, etc are vital components. Yet here you are again, and again and again and again, and again... did I say again... making the same ludicrous bungle, over and over and over and over and over... did I say over...

Elite athleticism is measurable and tested. Athletes with many different, specific elite level skills, are required to demonstrate and then further develop an elite, base level of athleticism, before they are even considered worth considering for their skill level in the most elite sports. They revel in that situation, pitting their pure athleticism against others claiming the same. ASP surfees have often, and especially recently made that claim that they are elitely athletic. Now they use it as a focal marketing point, they have branded and labelled themselves exactly that 'elite, professional athletes'. Easily tested. Join in with the others.

'Height: 6″2 Weight: 231
Beast Factor: 4.45 in the 40-yard dash (outdoors)…10.6 100-meters… 355-pound bench press…520-pound back squat…314-pound power clean…298-pound push press…38-inch vertical jump.'

'The NFL Scouting Combine (Feb. 22-25) is crossing the finish line on another so-called “Underwear Olympics.” The Combine is just one step in the job interview process leading up to the 2014 NFL Draft (May 8-10). But make no mistake, millions of dollars are on the line during the 40-yard dash, bench press, vertical leap, broad jump, cone drills, Wonderlic test and BOD Pod tests.'

The fans, the market knows what elite athletes can do. They demonstrate that with their wallets.

Then comes skill. The country's best rugby league player wants to first test his athleticism in that league, the elite. Then he is most worried about aquiring the skills, including learning the 200 odd plays he will be required to execute flawlessly, and not mano e mano with taj, dany etc, but against the worlds proven, most elite athletes. Occult, the best professional surfee, in his prime, couldn't learn a few dance steps, a few basic skills, on a level playing field where others did much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much ... did I say much... better. Athleticism wise, it was even worse, the worst on a level playing field.

If a product chucks itself in the marketplace, as basic consumer good, branded and labelled 'elite professional athlete', then that's what it should be, and should be able to demonstrate easily. Dany... taj... ando... even slattsey, join in, it is the one way the public will pay attention. Lay your bets boys, throw your money in the bin. Bragging about training fuck all sounds cool to little kids and surfees, but the market rejects it, rightly so, and always has and will.

As the A side dawg, I call the shots. And relentlessly dealing with endless dimwits like inzless comes at a price as well. Be happy with a 98/1/1 split. That alone will earn you more than you can comprehend.

I remember a photo too, I 'feel' a photo resurfacing... a 'legendary' one, an 'undergroundedly legendary' one. A claim of magnificence... on a fat hander of all things... a 'biggy'. Oh the fickle tides! Used car salesmen! Fuck having a deluxe memory!!! Make that a 98.5/1/.5 split. Be happy! Enjoy it!

Wow, yoko lifto.... The label just phoned and said they're pulling the pin.... Something about one member of the band letting it go to his head before it was even released..... Strutting around like a star... Demanding smoked salmon and caviar....
You've changed man.... It used to be about the music......

Lifty, go easy on the Xanax cobber. Where is this photo that is resurfacing from your egg - throttled bowels ? Let's see it.

Ohh dear...... An "elite athlete" dancing.......

"Admittedly, there were the coordination issues... well, the complete lack of. Then sure, there were huge problems with the balance and footwork... well, ok, no balance, no footwork. And, sure, who could forget the timing... well, you're right, what timing. Yeh, ok, admittedly he blew it and let it slip about the stiff, fucked, weak back... well, he had no choice".......

I suppose he made it to week 3 lol