HELLS BELLS

Easter on the west coast of Vic."Festival of Kooks"

32 of the best kooks in the world.....

Forecast is indeed looking very nice.. a lot better than last year!

32 of the best kooks in the world.....

By: "non-local"

I meant all the dicks who come down the coast that normally wouldn't, for some reason they think it is only good at Easter, um oh yeah it is only good at easter.

I was reading the local Torquay newspaper this week and there was an article about how everyone is excited about the upcoming Easter Bells contest.

The excitement wasn't because the swell is going to be off the dial, or because the event will be the catalyst for something good for the local grass-roots surfer or indigenous communities, no all the buzz was for how the contest is good for the local economy. A quick check of the Torquay board shops also revealed most were stacked to the rafters with boards etc so it seems corporate expections are running high.

Of course none of this has anything to do with average joe surfer except he/she gets his/her coast/breaks invaded by the gravy train and all its hanger-oners for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, good luck to you if you reckon this contest is now a good thing. Why not head on down and do your bit for the Torquay and Victorian economies.

mr floyd, the correct way to pronounce it is hangers-on (one should know about hangers-on) it is hard when the 3432 of the "best" surfers in the world converge on your local, but having been the comp director to the "stars", one has to say that when the circus is in town let the party start, it will be over soon enough then you can go back to having a world renown place to yourself for the other 48 or so weeks, thats if your surfing abilty is above the level of novice. if so than i assume you will have a wave or 3 in every session. one will not be attending because mr the outsider forgot to mail the relevant info so one will be staying warm on the north coast of nsw and dominating ones local while you seem to be crying in your schooner, one really should be there to help with the medicinal ales but one has very important engagement to attend, such is the life of royalty. this was bought to you by you extremely empythatic feerless leeder and all round ladeis man

bigwayne the greatness, seer of all things through an ever expanding 3rd eye, rider of all waves cosmic and otherwise ..... ah enough of the crap. i reckon you will be happier than than The Captain after snorting a keg of jet fuel up on the nth coast during the annual vicco circus. nothing wrong with original thought when it comes to getting empty waves. i will also be somewhere else and as maxwell smart would say " and loving it".

nothing wrong with original thought when it comes to getting empty waves. i will also be somewhere else and as maxwell smart would say " and loving it".

By: "floyd"

See , this I what i was talking about, whilst I sympathize with Floyd being invaded by the masses, but to then bail out and go looking for empty wave mate , I don't think you'll find any as all you guy's trying to get away from the crowd are making it crowded, there are no empty wave at Easter, your just becoming someone else's problem

Yeah, how rude of him to have a break from working his arse off to take a few days for himself and get some waves. The cheek!

Yeah , exactly that's what I thought, don't start me on work, spent all last week going to doctors appointments and filling out forms to renew my disability pension, if that aint work I dunno what is. To tell you quite honestly Easter does not really worry me I've got a job that pays cash so tourism works for me and if the waves are really pumping I can fit a surf in and take what ever waves I want anyway cause touros don't get a look in at Easter, can't see why they bother coming really , but I do like their money.

Are you that bloke that, when he needs new surf gear, takes a sparkplug and smashes out the side windows of hire cars? You cheeky monkey.

e wrote:

there are no empty wave at Easter, your just becoming someone else's problem

theres plenty of empty waves at easter, just a little drive is all

I could be that bloke that, but who could blame me they flash it around and those generic boards there so easy to get rid of virtually untraceable, general I can turn a stolen board over within 12 days using ebay , ebay and asian made boards have made my life so much easier, no more traveling interstate with a van load of boards unloading them at pawn shops on the way, it really only just paid for a surf trip up the east coast, though I could collect some nice ones on the home. Now I sell them all from home for more money and it pays for 4 trips to indo a year, the down side though is that leaving the country messes with my disability payment(more forms to fill out)

shaun, have you been sniffing bigwayne's jet fuel? you need a clear head leading into the easter silly season especially if you are heading down bells way expecting to suckle at the corporate teat.

watching the news last night its good to know all the corporate PR guys got the script right for the pros at yesterday's media "event". apparently it will a universal "great honour" to win the contest given its history. "yes, it will be a great hopnour to win; err, err, it will be a great honour to get a bell etc etc " i almost threw up my mung bean salad on hearing that bullshit.

mr floyd, no one but no one gets on the royal jetfuel without ones consent, he smashed the side window on the royal limo read datto 180b and helped himself, how can one be held accountable for such transgressions? one is totaly innocent your honor!

mr shaun , as you can imagine one had the idea to have a bells trophy with a bell on it ( original or what? ),one had ones manservant to fellate read to drive the royal 180b (really low kays by the way) to the surf coast and claim a good spot and you could of just asked and you would have recieved but no you had to resort to skullduggery one is not impressed. how will one hit up ones sponno's (big thank you to mrs bigwayne) for a new window? now when one arrives at ones limosine to spend the night(big thank you to mrs bigwayne) one will get the sniffles and will have to start having a winge or worse throw a mantrum! (ones too old for tantrums) it will be all your doing mr shaun!

this was bought to you by a totally inconsoleable bigwayne

you may have noticed I'm not a heartless thief, I left enough money in your wallet to buy enough fuel to fuck off back to where you came from.Don't take that personally , it's just a way to keep the crowd in check.

mr shaun, one has no need get personal but , one thinks that leaving $1.59 in the console of the royal limo is really not enough for one to get home, so one suspects that you really want one to reside at the peice of corrogated iron and branches you would obviousy call home considering the fact that you are a modern day ned kelly one will have to decline as one has a certain "standard" and refuses to stay in 100,000,000 star accomodation one only requires 1 star ! so your felonious ways , mr shaun ,have to come to a stop and i for one will do everything in my considerable big power to see you right

this is a call to arms for all the peolpe who care, one of our very own is in trouble and hes caught on the inside and seems to be getting swept away , so as your feerless leeder and concerned citizen of bigwaynes wonderful world one calls for an intervention to see if we can "fix" mr shauns ever growing problem of skulduggery , jetfuel consumption and just general surlyness !

as your feerless leeder one asks you in the name of hrh bigwayne to rush to "help" our friend please !

this was bought to you by a very caring and dare i say loving lord and master and reserve wax caddy

It's just, well things get a bit tense down here at Easter, with the invasion and all. Bring on winter.

there there, mr shaun, its alright i totally understand and all will be well in big mr shauns world soon enough i have spoken to my dear old "mate" bugs and a wild card is waiting for you at the judges tent so please avail yourself of said card and go forth and prosper see what one does for ones fellow man? this was bought to you by a f.i.g.j.a.m

All's quiet on the western front. lines marching in from the horizon, but no sign of the enemy as yet. The boys are settling into the trenches ready to defend there local breaks, it's the Anzac spirit.

Gee thanks Waynker, this wild card is it like a free drinks card, that they give to the pros.

captain mr shaun, tell your soldiers to stick to their guns, captain mr shaun, and fend off the unwashed masses. yes exactly like the drinks card but compleatly different.

shaun wrote:

All's quiet on the western front. lines marching in from the horizon, but no sign of the enemy as yet. The boys are settling into the trenches ready to defend there local breaks, it's the Anzac spirit.

Thats the way Shauno;)

Funny you should mention it welly, the anticipation of what is on the way has a few of the boys on edge.

I miss bigwayne ... those were the days of enlightened commentary.