The Truth

Dear Mr Guts,

What's wrong with you, don't like surfing with Melbourne's Elite in a congested take off zone
with two wave sets very 15 -20 minutes? Maybe you should consider a Mal or better still a stand up paddle board, so you can take every set wave and hoot your mates as they drop in on a bomb 2ft set. Repent… and join the Legends of our lunchtime!

Sour grapes tuckee, very sour. You need to get over the fact that beaches that Swellnet report on are crowded perhaps even more so because over excited surf reporters. Why do they do that? What have got to gain by over rating conditions. I don't understand it myself. Anyway tuckee my boy friend Bryce and I surfed that wave today on our mals (so sorry tuckee) and we really really enjoyed it. Yes it was crowded but we had lots of fun sharing the 2 foot cross shore conditions. And I don't appreciate being called "Melbourne elite". Yes I come from Doncaster East but Bryce is from Hallam so I don't care. Hope you have more fun in the surf tuckee because that is what its all about fun even when its crowded and small.

that report killed me last week for westernport, it went something along the lines of 3-4ft clean, just no water atm.

Me too Jonno, I travelled down from Heidelberg last week looking for "good fun waves" (as reported) only to find it about one foot and with 6 or 7 guys out on mals and they were struggling to get a wave. Very pissed off while my mates scored over on the westcoast.

the blind leading the blind......HAHA

hey it was still crowded here on the west coast...... Surfing in a bay? not really surfing is it, kind of like going for a swim in a bath.... haha

My thoughts exactly. Hahaha.

Yep, surfing is fun, that's why those of us truly into it have based our family's existences nowhere far enough from reach from the ocean that you can't check it on your pushbike. It's not another option for a weekend, it's life. It's not good fortune to live near the surf and not in the city, it's good management.

Perhaps learn to read weather maps as well, you should know about a swell and which way to head long before you have to check the surf report that morning to work out where to go.

seethesea is right on the money, no report is ever 100% accurate, you have to work out your own sense of what's happening around your local breaks to know where to go on what swell/wind picture.

all the other vicco reports are usually on or near the $$. i don't really like to bad mouth a guy for a free report but.... i just don't pay attention to the westernport report anymore.

an what happened to rasta doing the 13th report? love that guy.

Hi Guys, Being new to surfing I don't understand this forecasting thing. Swellnet at Westernport seems to always over estimate the quality of waves and its always crowded there but you are saying I should read weather maps instead. Shouldn't these Swellnet guys know what they are doing? Jonno, I read your 25 points on how to attract a lady, not funny at all. I suggest you will grow old a very lonely man or perhaps you might pick up one of those mail order brides if you are lucky. Bryce would never treat me like that.

The 'truth' Paula is that reporting on the surf is a subjective business. Your idea of 'off it's tits' would make another person yawn. If the Westernport reporter is repeatedly overcalling it adjust your expectations a corresponding amount.

And hey, say g'day to Bryce for me, fella sounds like a real champ...

Mr Stunet,

I would ask that you are not as crass in your posts in the future. One shouldn't engage in such inane behaviour on the net.

But indeed you have a point, which I think Jonno and that Snakeguts character also makes. Best discount what is reported for Westernport conditions in the future.

Thank you for your advice. I will also let Bryce know.

Gee stunet you could see Paula was not impressed with jonno's 25 points post,yet you reply with (off it's tits)? I understand your frustration with people who have no idea about what a forecast/report is.But a bit more tact?Maybe a how to interpert forecasts & reports on the home page might help.

Maybe how to spot a troll might be better...

I have a little break that I know is about a foot smaller that Beacon at 13th. Wind right, adjustments rightly made and I'm going surfing (hopefully alone)!! yehah

And Paula...chill out luv

Have all you boys lost your manners or is it just a sign of the Off Your Facebook generation?
Paula… if Bryce should ever leave the nest my car door is always open for a travel buddy to any spot you'd like to go to.

Bryce is here to stay!

Stunet wrote: The 'truth' Paula is that reporting on the surf is a subjective business

Mornington Peninsula
Crappy onshore 6ft mess on beaches, give it a miss. Onshore SW wind will slowly ease during the day.

Westernport
Theres waves at Flinders if your super keen, nothong in the bay.

Says it all really!! same day- almost same place. I know which one I'd trust.

The photos posted on the swellnet reports realy show what may be awaiting you when you arrive at the surf. I am sure they do not bother to post misleading photos, tide times and general wind conditions.

The only thing I would like to see is the reports posted earlier, everyday. Befor 0615 would be worthy not 1000 like the Sunny Coast reporter likes to post.

Same place? The Mornington Peninsula is an open, exposed stretch of coastline that picks up almost every available inch of Victorian swell. Western Port is a sheltered bay that is often just a quarter of the size of the open beaches.

There are two surfing regions at Western Port (as covered in our WP surf report) - Point Leo and Flinders. The latter is usually a foot or two smaller than the open beaches, whilst Point Leo requires a big swell to start breaking properly.

A general rule of thumb for a standard SW swell would be 5-6ft Mornington Peninsula, 3-4ft Flinders and 1-2ft Western Port (these figures move around, depending on the swell direction, swell period and tidal phase).

J Bay, Honolua Bay, Waimea Bay, Tamarin Bay, Lagundri Bay and Westernport Bay. All world class bays to name a few with classic surf. Yeah, yeah I questioned Westernport Bay myself but then again it does regularly get 8/10 surf ratings so it must be up there with the best.

Re. Thermalben's comment, I agree the Peninsula is a large stretch of coast but the Westernport report is almost always from Flinders which I agree is usually a foot or so smaller than the open beaches… but re. the difference in posts from Mornington Peninsula and Westernport/Flinders this morning, SOUTHWEST IS SOUTHWEST, and is full onshore at either location.
So obviously ONSHORE is the NEW OFFSHORE for Flinders! What is called an ONSHORE MESS (and give it a miss today) by one surf reporter is obviously another surf reporter's surfable wave!
If we are talking about the bay, then yes it needs a big swell and can work from South West to North West, and re. Vinny's comments, spot on! I'm off to Honolua with the Bro's!

The point is theres never any swell, the winds always wrong and it's crowded every single fucking day.
Surfing used to be fun..now it's a frustrating battle.

Mr Tuckee,

That is a lovely offer, I will keep it mind although I am still wondering what you saying about Melbourne's elite surfing Westernport on mals. What's wrong with that? Anyway Mr Tuckee do you like sandwiches? Bryce always says I make a mighty fine sandwich.

big left has been a better option lately with the king tides,portsea area even better with the swell,banks and tide. woolamai report petty spot on.rye cam takes 2 minutes to check all options on net. gunnery is a good option in onshore because suck rock take off not all over the joint.

take friday off work and check it out late thursday.

Forget surfing, let's talk about those sandwiches... Lmao.

Here is a point regarding Westonport and every other break in the world.
"If you can't surf, Don't start"
Simply put its too fucken crowded in the surf and if you didnt start as a grom you have no chance of ever being any good at it. So stay away from the surf and out of the water, stop buying coastal property and pushing the prices up, stop paddeling out at my local and behaving like you own the place, stop taking up all the car parks at the beaches, stop paddeling for the shoulder when I am trying to make the section, stop folding sections down on me when you are thinking of dropping in, stop phoning your mates to tell them where it is pumping.
Paula you can go and find another sport too, if you don't like it just go home.

What a selfish little turd you are adam,you think you own the whole fucking coast?You tell people not to take up surfing & not even go to the beach?You think because you have been surfing longer than others that you own the place.Ive lived on the coast 35 years,spent thousands of hours on the water,now a little prick like you tells me I cant go & learn to surf?We payed to live on the coast,we pay rates for those carparks for everyone who wants to go to the beach to use,even grubs like you.We have the crowds in summer,but they are entitled to come & enjoy what we have on our doorstep all year round.To crowded for you?Get out of the water & make some room for the new guys,youve had your time, your as good as your ever going to get.Go home & grow old & bitter.

Spongey, you have lived on the coast for 35 years, good on you, I have lkived on the coast for 40 and owned houses and contributed to the local economy.
I am not a grub as you suggest, see you in the surf one day and we will see who drowns who.
Take a big picture look at surfing and tell me if it is as much fun as it used to be before it became popular for everyone to do? It is a shit fight out there and I dont give a fuck about clowns like you. It used to be good in the 80's when if some one was being a turd in the surf they copped a slap up the side of the head and were told to fuck off and never come back. But with people now assuming rights at every break in the world it has all gone to shit. Rights used to be earned through a lot of time and effort, now it is just a case of "I have more money than you do and if you hit me in the surf I am going to go and whinge to the cops and get my laywer to sue you". That mentality creates a dangerous situation in the water and has led to a few people being injured by fuckwits that you support in your rants. Fuck that and fuck the pricks who ruin a good surf.
Spongey my friend you have motivated me to take a few extra waves today from the people you like to support, and they wont be able to do a thing about it.

Adam you are proving to be a total dickhead, you go on about earning respect at your local break, but then turn around and reckon you have the right to paddle out at any break you please and paddle inside the locals because you are a hot surfer or so you keep reminding us, I usually find when some one keeps on telling me how good they are they're not. I expect your one of those wannabes from Torquay that give decent blokes from that area a bad name, you reckon you own down south too. How about this, instead of other people not taking up surfing because it's getting to crowded, why don't you step aside for the next generation. That's right,give up surfing, being such a hot surfer you had more wave than most because you deserved them, not cause your a greedy little arse wipe. Do realize that in those magical 80's that you talk so fondly of, there were older surfer's than you that grew up surfing in the 60's and 70's. Well how do think they felt about you, upstarts like yourself crowding out the waves, starting up boardriders clubs turning surfing into a team sport, some just got sick of it and gave up, others like myself moved away to places less populated. Should I have stayed on and and beat little shits like you to a pulp until you gave up surfing cause I was here first.
So you can never go anywhere else to live or do another sport because there are to many people before you. Oh I'm sorry I forgot your Adam, hot surfer from the juc who has the right to surf wherever he bloody well likes.Grow up Adam the world doesn't owe you any thing, you've already taken mre than your fair share, my only advise to you is pull your head out of your arse so you can see where you are going when you fuck off.

Your right adam things are not what they used to be land & sea Its only going to get worse.So whats the answer?Localisim will get you government regulation when it starts interfering with tourist dollars & local business.Yes if someones being a fuckwit in the surf they need to be told,but these days a smack in the chops just isnt on.For better or worse.Dont you think people have the right to earn a place in the line up like you did?I cant see any other answer than tolerance,education & etiquette.More will come & the old 80's system isnt working anymore.Its a shit fight out there but I accept that,if I join the game Ive got no choice.Yes adam your post got me going as mine did you.Ive noticed youve dug up my most hated nickname,I know you can do better! Maybe we could enjoy a surf together & hang shit on each other.

Trust me, the Snowdroppers are a REALLY shit band.

Sorry....wrong thread!

Spongebob,
we are both on the same tracks at last, I know there is nothing we can do about it, the 80's surf ettiquite will never come back. But these forums are a great way for those of us who do remember the good old days to have our little gripe about it all.
Sorry for using your most hated nickname, i didn't know!
And Shaun, drop dead brother.
Catch you in the lineup Spongebob.

Shaun you really are a dickhead. Seriously mate who the fuck are you?

Glad you asked Adam, I am your worst nightmare when you paddle inside me at my local spot cause you think your so much better than the rest of us. Try saying hi and wait your turn like any decent person would.

Adam I like cock dragging old c@nt better,spongey just hurts to much.Yes the old days are over,what of the future?Can there be a grass roots change or will there be a crisis allowing the government to step in? Think license,helmets,public liability insurance & why not some rego numbers on your watercraft so they can find you if you threaten or belt someone.Far fetched maybe,but we live in a nanny state thats always on the lookout for new reveue.I read on the net that overseas resorts have private patroled breaks to protect guests from locals!Imagine a govenment selling the rights to a break to private enterprise to manage?Surfed the Ripper curly break today, so much better than fighting the locals & worth every $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

A new Swellnet site with a forum, am I the last person in the world to know this?

I have read lots of the forum posts and many many people are for or against a lot of things.

Like others here and in other forum topics I'm an old bugger that remembers the good old days and there is much about the present that concerns me. Yes its all here to stay, well until the revolution anyway, and I accept that. I just get up earlier and travel further so I score some.

While I acknowledge Swellnet has given me the opportunity to have a say I am not a fan of any of these sites and try to avoid using them and in particular I take active steps to avoid buying any product from those directly or indirectly involved. That's my path not yours, so make up your own mind.

One of the things that was good about the past that could be here now without much effort from all of us is respect ... for others and for the opportunity to share something very special on this blue planet. Perhaps think about it and enjoy the trip of calling someone into the next wave.

Anyway, hopefully that's all I have to say & thanks Swellnet for the opportunity.

yeah and hows that flinders cam going, and whens the woolamai cam going in?

For gorrsakes B2B how are we supposed to respond to this schizophrenic sermon of yours??

You're down on Swellnet/ you're up on Swellnet.

You avoid using these sites/ you post in their forums.

You take active measures to avoid using any products related to them...which has me wondering what type of wetsuit you wear?

Without meaning to sound rude.....what exactly is your point??

expected the angry c@nts to be kids. You've all been on the coast for 30+ years? wow im 20 I feel young. You oldies stop yelling at each other plz!

Coming to the abc "Grumpy old surfers"

Cant argue with that eeks,we are a disgraceful mob of old farts at times.

vicco surf report offshore 6 to 8 better than sex and its doing it at midday how goods that. friday keeping with the tradition (late)

What time are the Mornington Peninsula & Westernport reports posted? .... it's 9.35 and no reports.

Cant argue with that eeks,we are a disgraceful mob of old farts at times.

By: "spongebob"

haha :D

And Shaun, drop dead brother.

Hey Adam just read in the echo that torquool is going to get 6 new sets of traffic lights to cope with 55,000 extra people expected to move there, HAHA think I'll move there too and open another surf school. You better get a bigger stick to fight off all those new surfers, you'll have to paddle so far inside to get priority at winki youll be at bells,hehehe

What time are the Mornington Peninsula & Westernport reports posted? .... it's 9.35 and no reports.

By: "paula"

Time for another sandwich then.

small next couple of days mp beaches should be fun b4 lunch.