The Wanker Surfer.
A bloke who was, an avid 'DP' seasonal surfer, 12-14 years running.
Would stay out on the point, wanking into his favourite sock for 3 months.
Time to pack up and leave, "what's this, Yuk" he said throwing the sock into the bushes.
Next season he rocks up, sets up camp, looks out across the reef only to see his favourite sock, being proudly worn by a young 'DP' local!
Now a well used, well worn Reef Bootie.....
Haha
Ha ha
I hear ya mate, all those wannabe coaches with their unsolicited opinions. If you ever want a surf with Gary I'll give you all the tips you've asked for and a few that you didn't ask for - that's just the kind of bloke I am.
I figured that your description above doesn't apply to me cause everyone wants a piece of what Gary is selling.
Just give em the tip G, I don't think they could handle much more.
Gary mate nothing applies to the G man.
Theres many different personalities in the line up and on the beach that could fill this category. Some of us including myself may have been guilty of wankerish behaviour on occasions.
Ill start with a few of my own observations/frustrations.
Those you know who choose to give you a running commentary of their surf after each wave they catch yes I could not give a fuck if you done a cutback or a floater or got a little cover up consistently talking oneself up takes away from when you do actually get a good one.
People who bitch about getting snaked or drop in but then proceed to behave in the same manner dead set fuckwits.
The wannabe surf coach who gives advice which isn't asked for usually intended to big note themselves. Let people surf the wave how they want and if they are looking for advice let them ask otherwise leave them alone to surf.
Those who watch a surfer riding a wave and commentating it from the car park usually in a derogatory manner to big note themselves.
Surfers who criticise others then are nice to their face yep stop being a weak cunt.
Im sure theres plenty of others that I have missed so share ya wanker surfer stories.