CLASSIC SURFERS QUOTES

'"Hey you with the fat little thruster. Go and get fucked!"

Mono and Mono's little brother.

Tracks letter writers in the early to mid 80's spewing about the growing popularity of thrusters.

Doesn't sound like MR udo. He was always polite to a fault, but I do have some vague recollection of him complaining that a magazine's coverage of an event he won didn't include his photo. So the complaint would have been to the editor. My guess is that it would have had to be either Phil Jarrett or Bruce Channon....... or I could be just imagining the whole thing!

Ahh, ringmaster... That takes me back... Loved tracks back then... I remember a story ("fictional") told by a surf groupie named "Chlorine Vas Deferens"... She said something along the lines of " I screwed the whole st george league team that night..... Talked about pissed off the next morning when I found out it was the reserves"........

I don't know who said this but I have always loved it (even though it's bullshit)-

"As surfers, we are defined not by the land masses that divide us but by the oceans that connect us."

Hugh McLeod would be a third possibility as he did all the SW layouts. If I see Bruce Channon around I'll ask him if he remembers anything.

"All big wave surfers are latent homosexuals."

-Fred Van Dyke

"Big waves aren't measured in feet and inches but in increments of fear." Greg Noll

I don't have a quote. Only posting this to get bloody Bunker Spreckels quote off the front page.

"He's not a ho-dad squid lips that's Matt Johnson".
Leroy 'The Masochist' says to a grommet at the beach watching the fictional 'best surfer of his generation' paddle out blind drunk in the surf flick Big Wednesday.
Growing up there was a surfer at our beach named Matt Johnson. Needless to say he copped that line a fair bit!

"Call me a poodle Mr. Cobb, call me a cheap slut sex poodle."

Victoria Tennant- All of me.

Technically not a surfer quote but I couldn't resist.

"Oi"

Eme's Eason was a walking quote machine. An entertainment factory. I do hope this doesn't offend, but he was going on and on and on and on and on and... about his mate Peter McCabe coming to blacks. By the time the poor guy got there, the whole southern hemisphere had been tuned, was waiting to see him surf, and hopefully get some of his famous boards. It was such a deluxe morning, live entertainment all round. Half his boards were snapped/creased on the roof racks on the drive over. Meanwhile, camsless had only been around a bit, and most didn't know him, and hadn't seen him surf. He was donning his custom dong bonnet, (as he says, truly, genuinely functional and easily the best... however not exactly chick magnet material, or quite what groovy surfees would have in their carefully selected, cutting edge, fannsler and parkity outfits). It was right in potato chip era, and camslesse's 4 inch thick, beat up dunga, and tattered old ripcurl, the famous, recycled car tyre model that always ended up turning green, didn't help the mob appraisal. I am sure camsless loves that shit, when later the unsuspecting, once guffawing pack are going over his head in the lip.

Anyway, after emes had prepared the scene well, he headed out in his boat to film the spectacle, and get some footage of that poor kook in the old dong bonnet getting flogged as well. Poor McCabe hadn't surfed for quite a while, and his last, previous surf was flawless, manicured Gland, a bit different to the cold, raw, messed up, new, west swell slurping in at blacks. Plus he had let himself get out of shape. He got hurled out of a couple straight up, and to his credit bolted in and replaced his crumpled boards, straight back out for more. Eme's meanwhile was under intense pressure in the channel, dodging the wide west things, whilst we were peppering him with an ever growing, no viable answer onslaught of it aint the east coast jibes. Finally McCabe got hurled out of one last one, 0 for 10 so to speak, and eme's completely cracked. While the poor guy was getting sledge hammered in the impact zone, all we heard echoing around the bay at 10,000 watts per channel was,

'For fuck's sake, you're Peter fucking McCabe, you're a fucking legend, you're fucking embarrassing me, now fucking well do something!!!!!'

Meanwhile, camsless was having fun getting spat out at the by now silent pack of fleeing ex squawkers.

Although, eme's summed that up later in the post match summary too, with a by then famous, signature quote, that he'd used to explain others as well...

'So he should have a fuckin' go too, have a look at the poor cunt, what else has he got to live for?'

McCabe hung around for a while, he was an awesome guy, and, as everyone knows, could really surf, and was a good sparring partner for eme's. The camsless story took on a bit of a pointless twist and break from...

Just to be clear, this isn't the story I mentioned before about the big gun, shaping legend that came to blacks. There's been heaps of ludicrously entertaining moments, but that particular one almost defies logic and believability, seemingly for ever spiralling into a, no surely that couldn't happen... shit it fucking did, script that even Seinfeld would pay absolutely any amount for. As I said, its too harsh, and I couldn't in clear conscious do it to the poor guy. I will protect him to the end.

Ok Uplift change the names and tell us the story,its obvious that it needs to be told!Get it off your chest.

“I surf to get tan” - On answering the question why he surfs, Shane Dorian.

Simba, I just can't do it, its just too, too, too... far, far, far too savage. The name is actually pivotal to the ludicrous debacle. Its so fucking tempting though, as more than a handfull of hapless geeks were also dragged into the whole, sorry, embarrassing surfee saga, including 'wordy'. And of course then there was one of the main, and at first, hapless, but very, very quickly, extremely willing instigators, frosty. So fucking tempting. However, as I said, and always have, I will protect the 'legend' to the very, very end, as heroes tend to do... not seeking, or wanting reward or fame.

Hehehe.... Reminds me of a "name" that pulled back at old woman...... Mind you... Was mid low tide and the first wave of the set......
I remember taking spart out to the island for his first time..... Now me old kiwi buddy always used to whinge about the softness of Boiling pot and outer ti tree.... The bloke surfed 12 to 15 foot sunset in the pro class trials as a 17yo.... 3 times on the cover of tracks, all at big Anga... Loved backdoor pipe.... 3 times kiwi champ......
Island left was about 6 foot.... Outgoing tide.... East swell so the right was wrapping around the island and causing a bit of backwash on the last section just to ad more spice..... Anyway, I take off deep and late..... That fuckn barnacle pops up, quick adjustment drawn out bottom turn and into the pit, but lost a fair bit of speed...... Whomp!........ Thought I broke my elbow..... Bit of a gash... Ended up being a "stinger"....Feeling came back after a few minutes.... Spart just grinned as he does..... He then nails a ripper, showing all his backhand skills from years in NZ and multiple 1970/80s trip to Bali....
He then takes off real deep on his second wave..... The reef again pops up (now this reef is so sharp you just graze it and you are cut - nasty barnacles)....... Anyway, spart has an "island tatoo" on his shin. hehehe.....
We keep surfing for another hour....... As we paddle back to the mainland ( solid 20+ minute paddle), spart simply says...." Not a bad wave bro....... A real wave......"
Now.... The righthander...... hehehe....

Uplift your awesome,a true hero to the end.......................................................anyway enough awesomeness.....,now tell us.

"Chicks don't surf!" - Occy in Puberty Blues

"The best surfer out there is the one having the most fun"
Phil Edwards

Funniest seppo comment was sitting out at thunders with my mates on a Mentawais boat trip, towards the end of the trip so we'd had our share all week previous and it was and flat everywhere else, so thunders was 3-4ft and nobody was hurrying to get their share. Needless to say we weren't impressed when a boatload of seppos showed up full of beans and started 'hootin' and hollerin', high fiving eachother, complimenting their friend's on their last ride but then telling them how it could have been better.... standard west coast hype.

Me and a mate were paddling back out having a laugh at how ridiculous the situation had got, when one of the seppos catches one off the peak and draws out a long cutty on a fat wall, does the roundhouse and grabs some wall to slow up for the section just in front of us and yells out 'COME AAAAN BABY!!!' trying to tell the wave to barrel for him aaaaaaaaaaahahaha fuck seppos come out with the stupidest shit sometimes.

Big Lifty sure it's not a "pipe dream"

You've been talking to frosty, who's disappeared into witness protection as we speak.

lynch
cole
bourton
wedd
all rattled by blacks really?

"Don't worry, wave come" Duke

"Nature = God" Tom Blake

"That's just the lemon next to the pie" Bear, Big Wednesday

"Just 'cause they've got tits and a pussy, they think they can surf!" Nat Young, mid 70's

when living in torquay few years ago, asked local legend shredlord how to get a wave at crowded winki as the nice guy, good etiquette strategy was as good as tits on a bull.

"before ya paddle out bloke, ya gotta push ya "cunt" button'

I didnt even know it was a section ! Mike Gabriel after riding impossible sections of a very fast wave back in the 80 s

I could have been killed ! Tony hardy after wipe out on a big wave at Margaret river a few years back

Captain Goodvibes, "Ullo!!! Here comes a rustbucket fulla' revvoe's!!!!"........ Oh my God!!!! A head on with a garlic prawn!!!!"......

"Dont even touch barney, that a fresh hot coat. That rhino chaser dont need no houli hand print messing up its whole trip" Turtle

i mentioned this once before, along the same lines. My mate had gone to Hawaii and ordered a quiver of 3 Minamis for blacks. He was/is super fussy with his boards, and had been stressing over every detail. When they were shaped and ready to glass, he went in to check them out. Minami was the man at the time and he said a heap of other guys were in, picking up boards etc. He was wondering about the thickness, so mentioned something like should they be a sixteenth of an inch thinner. Not sure of the exact quote, but he reckons Minami just looked around the room, looked at him, picked up a fine sheet of paper and super slightly grazed the deck of one, saying 'there ya go, whatdya reckon... will that do it?'

They were insane boards, he, arny, surfed them insane too before they all busted, despite the era of the rovings strips routed in the blanks. He tried everything, spent zillions trying to have them duplicated, but no one could do it.

"All I need is some clean waves, fresh buds, and I'll be fine" Jeff Spicolli.

"You dick!"- Jeff Spicolli.

.Oops

Well not exactly a quote but Stu scores "comment of the week" :D

http://www.theinertia.com/business-media/comment-of-the-week-stu-nettle/

Thanks for bringing that to my attention ID.

Wonder what I win?

.

uplift wrote:

i mentioned this once before, along the same lines. My mate had gone to Hawaii and ordered a quiver of 3 Minamis for blacks. He was/is super fussy with his boards, and had been stressing over every detail. When they were shaped and ready to glass, he went in to check them out. Minami was the man at the time and he said a heap of other guys were in, picking up boards etc. He was wondering about the thickness, so mentioned something like should they be a sixteenth of an inch thinner. Not sure of the exact quote, but he reckons Minami just looked around the room, looked at him, picked up a fine sheet of paper and super slightly grazed the deck of one, saying 'there ya go, whatdya reckon... will that do it?'

They were insane boards, he, arny, surfed them insane too before they all busted, despite the era of the rovings strips routed in the blanks. He tried everything, spent zillions trying to have them duplicated, but no one could do it.

Fuck me sideways!!!!! If you can't do pithy, asshat, can you at least try for entertaining?

1st prize for comment of the week is a years subscription to The Inertia
2nd prize for comment of the week is a 2 year subscription to The Inertia

The Inertia - The thinking persons surf site : open minded as long as you agree with their stance that The white man is evil and responsible for all the worlds ills. Man being gender specific.

Not that I don't like your comment though Stu. Pointing out The Inertia's hypocrisy enables them to grow as people and to really own the journey of self discovery and empowerment that they are on. Yes, I'm being facetious .

"Surfing is the source, change your life, swear to god" grom in the surf shop that sells Johnny Utah the most hideous longboard ever.

"Victoria ! The book ! ". - Wiz Clarke Jones upon discovering the goat ate the recipe for his magic surf wax.

" The biggest word a surfer needs to know is cutback , and he shouldnt feel to bad if he cant wrap his lips around that one " , Captain goodvibes .