Bells, or waves like it.

Gidday dandandan. Hang in Port Macdonald, there's a sick right a fair way out off the lighthouse staring you in the face. And you'll have all the waves you want to yourself. If a genuine onshore front with swell hits, head for Portland. If you are respectful, you'll have a ball.

Or wait for a big winter swell and NW and head for Flinders Island. Mind bending, and you'll get all the waves you want. If anyone is surfing, and you are respectful, they'll be glad for the company.

If you want to really test yourself, wait for a big swell, NW and paddle to Golden Island. If its working, you'll see the wave from the mainland and more than likely have it to yourself. Just keep in mind, its a long way out, looks can be deceiving. Again, if anyone is surfing and you are respectful, they'll be stoked to see you. And you'll see amasing things.

Love your post uplift, spent few weeks exploring Victorian coastline last winter. I've been thinking about it every day. I'm so excited about winter, can't wait...

ddd ,

just a heads up .
.
Nothing Uplift mentioned was in Bass Strait .

denis , winter sux . thats why the snow is popular .

Gidday denisp and dandandan. The SE corner of Oz around the SA/Vic border has shitloads of uncrowded options. It will always be uncrowded because like the places I mentioned over here, the isolation is real, the cold is real, and it takes time to figure things out to save time and driving.

Winter is the best time of year for a lot of the waves, as you have already discovered. Lack of swell is never an issue, even on the tiniest swell, there are some sick, really isolated, hard to find beachies near the border. On the SA side of Port Mac, there are places that literally no one surfs, due to marine life worries, harshness and isolation. If you are up to it, you will be rewarded. The reality is though, except for a few exceptional places on the globe, marine life is everywhere. Its the mind that's the problem.

Like I said, if you really wanted to, even over here, you could surf mind bending waves alone. And see and experience amasing things, and if you did run into someone, if you are a good person, and unless they were a paranoid, selfish prick, they would be stoked to see you.

Honestly though, 7'4" could easily be under gunned. Especially out in the open ocean.

Oh yeh,by the way.

http://www.whereis.com/vic/nelson/lake-bong-bong-rd#session=MTE=

Bass Straight.

Awesome sense of adventure guys, have a good one!

SA/VIC border. Extremely fickle, mostly average beachies which max out over 5ft don't bother bringing the gun, best spots are not isolated so there is more crew out than you think, marine life is not being a problem compare to other areas, nothing even remotely close to being bells or mind bending.

Haha, snow is too expensive, surfing is free. Used to snowboard before but just can't afford it. Uplift, I prefer having a couple of guys next to me, seen many perfect waves breaking empty and left because of the isolation. Too scared, not just marine life but injuries too. Especially the places you're talking about. Lots of great waves around. Funny I never stayed or surfed in Torquay area. Too many people for my taste and lots of options around. Let the locals enjoy, they don't need me...My Victorian trips were always starting with the place that's Wave of the day going west.

@samurai - completely agree about the average beachies and fickleness of it all. Winds can be dodgy, too. Coupla great reefs, though, including one great left hander that can bleed you white.

@denisp - the wave of the day is my favourite wave on that coast until way, way west, just inside the border. Uplift mentioned it. Roll on the deep winter southerly busters. Best the day after the hordes have gorged.

@dandaman - check out the place where the Polly Waffles play.

Gidday denisp, its really good to be able to be honest about what you really like. Good on you.

I spent ages down there when we were younger. There were only a few locals then, mainly knee boarders. We somehow befriended a couple of radical Kiwi cray fishermen who had the whole region under control. They were wild those guys, but huge hearts. Loved a keg or 10, and it was deluxe for us grommets, but often almost the death of us too. Places like Nene Valley were like out of a movie.

Lots of guys will tell you how fickle it is here too, and about our shitty beachies. 99.99% of surfers will never see the good ones.

When I ran the park here so many tourists would be whinging about the wind, no swell, tide, fickle, whatever, yet we'd have pumping surfs. Real Burke and Wills stuff, the mighty Eastern Explorers stumbling around in circles, wave starved, yet the waves were right under their noses.

Reminds me of Camel winning that comp. People desperately clutching at and pondering and posturing and projecting over every electronic, powered and fueled device ever created, yet wisely lost. He just paddled out right under their befuddled noses and stitched the thing up in a hour or so and went home. Ah well.

But, I'm so proud to see local Surfees moved by me to excitedly and almost frantically leaping out of the woodwork and pitching in all sorts of unlimited help, and generously offering to hook up with ya. Its Spiritual. Ya gotta love heavy surfees, and don't mind if I do say so myself...and in anticipation lads, WELL DONE UPLIFT!!! Once again, always, always my pleasure lads!

Not another tourist brochure for the S.A./Vic border? I see we have a potential replacement for Big Wayne.LOL

Gidday Shaun, yeh, watch out everyone will be swarming down there. It used to get crowded 40 years ago, when the SA clubs held regular rallies down there. I've seen some huge pointers at lighthouse, and way outside, then there's icecream headaches, march flies, swamps, sewerage, nightlife, and the average east coast surfers worst nightmare, reef and rocks! Brace yourself big fella!

I've got to disagree uplift, I've done a bit of time around Port and never found it to have that 'sharky' feel at all. Apparently sightings are infrequent if ever and there hasn't been a death around there ever in my knowledge?

I do remember in the local pub a TV screen showing still photos of a monster caught down there, but that looked like it was decades ago. My roomate is from there as well and we've never even had sharks cross our minds, it's a way different feel to the West.

Hard to tell, I know, but for what it's worth, Craig, methinks Uplift was using irony. Something to do with being heavy surfees but not wanting to share. I think. Touch of RDS happening. Not getting the deserved respeck and all that.

For what it's worth, I agree about the (lack of) sharkiness in that neck of the woods. Prolly too cold; I remember surfing Pebbles in January in a short john, but still getting hypothermia after a couple of hours. To this day the coldest I've ever felt. Great for the crays, though, obviously.

Ah yes, the upwelling along that stretch of coast is phenomenal.

With the shelf being so close and the predominant wind in summer being a fresh to strong south-easter it's not uncommon to surf perfect ...... on a 40deg day only to be freezing in a 4'3 wetty in the 11deg water!

Too hot on the sand and too cold in the water.

Gidday lads, well, we've actually had to leave the water having been buzzed by a good sized pointer, outside of lighthouse, and were followed all the way in to the little island. It hung around in that bay for a few days. A good mate, a farmer from beachport who used to come and stay over west has been buzzed heaps of times surfing off the boat too.

Its prolly better when you don't try and think whaaatster, sadly hypothermia can have permanent effects. Shit happens. It all seems too foggy eh. Prolly buy billabong, prolly sell billabong, prolly its up, prolly its down, prolly its sideways. Pro surfing is booming, sponsors champing at the bit... no wait pro surfers are broke, not a sponsor in sight? No waves there, not worth surfing... no wait, keep it a secret before the swarms of tourists pour in from everywhere. That bloody hypothermia/brain freeze/fog eh?

Are you ok Uplift?
Everyone should get down to the SA / Vic border, it's awesome....... actually it is cold, sharky full of poo, flys, rocks etc.
Not sure what message you are selling?

Gidday reecen, exactly, just like here, just like blacks. Cold, sharks, rocks, flies, no trees, dust, wind, no water, blacks. Not for you, trust me.

Have you scraped up the sponsorship for that super prosperous beneficiary of 'she's all perfect how it is Pro Surfing' yet? Having trouble getting in the queue?

Trust you? Not for me?
I was starting to really look forward to it though?
I was hoping you could give some tips on how to tackle scary things like waves,rocks, cold, flies and stuff?
Those repetitive posts of yours I am sure something would sink in eventually if you kept repeating them to me over and over.

Dont know what sponsorship you are referring to? I do however reckon that the Bells comp was awesome, good waves, good surfing and good stories came out of it. I think that is what you are talking about?

Gidday reecen, no my little friend, brave as you want to be, its just not for you, trust me, I can tell.

Of course you don't know. What else is new?

For someone who claims an unwavering mental focus, an attention to detail supported by more than 40 years of training, possessed of techniques unavailable in any book or course, able to focus and inspire those lucky enough to get you in their Zumba class, you, Mr Uplift, present as someone with some pretty poor communication skills and, frankly, no sense of humor.

If you want to really help poor deluded saps like me, you need first to start by taking yerself less seriously. Drop the sarcasm, insults and condescension long enough to understand that it’s you, not me, getting in the way of being understood. Keep your posts informative rather than merely discursive; there’s some good stories in there, but they’re always hidden in with such long-winded lard that it just gets too hard to winkle them out.

Read Hemingway.

Or not.

As for your love of positive thinking, here’s an alternative view to consider.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13721709-the-antidote

Or not.

Ball’s in your court. At the moment you seem to be a pretty ridiculous buffoon but I’d be happy for you to prove me wrong.

Is Uplift the new Schmucker?

who cares .......

its cold . the waves can be powerfully imperfect . ( which means every slight mistake means getting Owned ) .
And yes with that many " Sea cockroaches " around , sharks will definitely be around .
Just With the "shelf" so close it just gives em' the elusive path ways to and from .
Besides , the best spots need people to be more 4wd expert than surfer to reach . As the same with other spots " further east " water access is often quicker and easier .

Jeez, Southey, the men in suits eat lobbies? Not happy, Jan. My state of blissful ignorance just went out the window. Bad enough with all that black water and kelp. Now I'm really not happy at all. Heading off for 10 days in a month. Mebbe I should be the cameraman.

Unless the wind turns north west....

BTW , the above post was penned ( and not sent before the two above it )
[ ie: it was not pointed at anyone ] .

as for Goofy's stomping ground , that is the place of the last shark fatality in Vic .

compared to " border town " , it was probably from traffic not fish population .
the poo pipe probably curbed anymore after that . Even though traffic still climbed , so
did their effluent ( nullifying any more ) .
as for back at border country , traffic probably hasn't changed .

Gidday boys, packs of smug blog locals. So typically, tragically comical. Heavy surfees too.

Na I'm pretty different to Jeff in lots of ways. But I've known him for years, since he was a kid. He's helped so many guys out in surfing over the years, so many friends from all over the place, really generous. I don't agree with lots of his stuff to do with towing, and we have our differences.

He doesn't need anyone to speak for him, but I've seen all this sort of mouthing off shit for years and years, except they mouth off, so cocky and all hard arse blog surfees like you guys, but suddenly realise they can't just shut the computer down. The fuckin thing won't switch off! Then its really fuckin hilarious. Its weird really, it started because he was such a good surfer and really open and generous and the non local locals hated it, but couldn't and can't do a fucking thing about it.

You fit the bill perfectly whaaat. Been there done that, flies fart, roaches shit, mosquitoes buzz, way further down the ladder, Whaaat and his cronies mouth off. Yawn.

Meh. I tried. I'll leave it at that. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

bzzzzzzzzz...slap.

Gday uplift, at first i thought you were an intelligent individual..but then in one of your posts you said you were telling Tom Carrol how to surf big waves.then i knew you were FOS. Half the fun of surfing is discovery and while no-owns the ocean, a lot more respect is earnt if crew find places for themselves. Not that i have read too many of your posts...way to long and incoherant..if you are such a shredder at blacks why aren't you sponno'd like a few of the other rippers? wish you all the best in your life (positive thinking and all!)

Gidday Barley, where did I tell Tom Carroll how to surf big waves? Don't twist things to bullshit, its too common.

Maybe another sneaky, spineless, gutless dig at Jeff, or maybe me for answering this posters question. I enjoy helping genuine people. The original poster asked a simple, open question, so I gave a simple, open answer, which he was happy with. The blog locals freaked and puffed up. The first bass straight crap was just that, crapping. The shark shit was gutless crap. Awww gee southey, so there are sharks there? Duuhh. Stupid gimps. Freak away, I'm easy to find if you ever want to.

When I lived there, I was sponsored for a while, when it wasn't common, and then I helped plenty of other people get sponsorships, including some of the school kids. How about you, how'd you go there? What did you contribute to the area? Can't say I remember you.

G'day Uplift my BIG friend, still not really sure what your point is here? Like barley I thought you had some good stories to start with but you seem to have degenerated?
You talk about "surfees" like you are something aloof while also exhibiting a strange locals only rule for dominating blacks?
Anyway if you ever get the chance to travel this world you might realize that blacks isn't the only heavy wave existing. I know it may come as a shock but I can assure you that there are many coastlines around this vast planet that also have good waves.
You talk about people "mouthing off" when it seems your uplifting posts seem to be doing the majority of mouthing? Get out of the sand box mate and have.a look around.
I don't think I am a "blog local" yet, but I am working on it and I am looking forward to killing the boredom with many more hours of responding to your ridiculous posts.
Can't wait to come and surf the spots you and JS alerted me to. Yeeeeewwwwss

Thanks Upskirt, this forum was getting quite boring when BigWanker and Smucko the clown disappeared. Every forum needs important people like yourself contributing to everyones eventual amusement.

Gidday shaun. Another pitifull snipe. But I am going to be honest, Jeff's been up to his old tricks again. It goes like this.

Imagine a situation where all of the people here mouthing off about Jeff, trying to shit on him, are suddenly fucked. Literally, seriously up shit creek without a paddle fucked. Miles and miles off shore, genuine, super heavy surf, freezing cold, indisputable shark hole, shallow reef, rocks, rips, the whole show. That doomed. And lo and behold there is a God. Jeff is right in there, risking his life, his equipment, his time, everything. Despite all of attempted piles of shit relentlessly flying his way, Jeff is the real deal. He rescues them, saves them and does everything in his power, uses all his time, knowledge, wisdom, experience, money equipment, and balls to make the best out of a doom situation for them, to save the people trying to shit on him. Out in the middle of no where. And he did just that recently. That's what lots of people, know Jeff's like.

Gidday little reecen. Don't get me started on surfees. Here's another surfee story for you. I have a house and truck and set up in a place in the Pacific with much better waves in my view than the West Coast. Waves that make blacks look slow and thin. This guy rolls up and is lost, so I start giving him a lift to some of the waves. Hes a funny guy, the local kids from the village are so entertained watching him be a hotty, a classic surfee. He's bragging to me about his fishing charter in Ulludulla, (where there are actually some amasing surfers) and how loaded he is, and so on. I don't mind, big deal. He's harmless enough. Impaled in cliffs, bounced off reefs, pulling back relentlessly. And I'm trying to protect him, and only take him where he will survive. Entertaining the kids with his ripping escapades, not realising they are loving wondering what his next wipeout will bring. I find myself helping him more and more, he's one of those guys that thinks you are a soft touch, and he's going for it. Its no biggy, nothing we don't see heaps of over west from visiting surfees. Eventually hes got no way to get home, to bigger and better things, so I lend him my truck, ask the driver to take him on the radical journey to the port, and tell surfee to fuel it up when they get there, and give the driver some coins, as they are poor, so he can go to the market. Sure enough, he came up with some story at the port, put in fuck all fuel, no coins. The driver rings me from the port, they are gonna stitch up him big time, and tell me he's so arrogant and rude and dishonest. The goose, the surfee has no idea, is oblivious to the reality that he's inches from being macheteed, and tossed in the drink. Those people take insults extremely seriously, its a cultural no no. I placate the driver, and tell him to just leave it, nothing to bother about. Just another hotty surfee.

Gidday gibbanow. Yeh your question and glaring observation was a sad one. Sorry to drag you into this, but here's the reality. If Jeff Schmucker had been there, or any surfer, he would have actually helped the guy, even if it meant flinging the Pro goose off his jetski buzzing the surfees around, right near the guy in trouble, and even if it meant the whole internet locals puffing up like, well like puffer fish. Why save someone when you can get an article out of it? Or you are trying to get your picture taken. Or improve your ratings. Or maybe a chance to be seen standing near Kelly. Or being a surfee? Or its not cool. No one can answer your question gibbanow, because there is no valid answer. Unless you are a surfee, not a surfer. Everyone there just did nothing.

You crafty meany reecen, you'll get me in all sorts of hot water exposing secrets like Golden and Flinders Island. Very very tricky, you tricky little surfee! Actually I admit I was wrong, I can see it is you. Go to Golden Island, its super easy to find, a car park right there looking at it, even you could find it. It likes a light nw, and big, long period SW swell, you'll figure the rest out. But I'll help you, watch the tides, its out there. I'll admit I was wrong, its you, and I can just see you confidently hooking in and killing it! YEEEEWWWWWWFFFFFFAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKIIIIIINNNMMMUUUMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Well upskirt, the odd snipe is my thing, keep it shot and sweet I reckon. The way you ramble on most stop reading or forget what you were on about in the fist place, I don't know why you bother really, your obviously better and more important than any of us.

Yeah, skirt boy, California is good place for you.

Love your work Shaun, concise and to the point. An obsolete legend of this forum.

Uplift where you born a hero or did you talk yourself into it?
Just throwing it out their are you related to Chuck Norris?

Regarding your mate Jeff helping people out at sea, that is basically rule number one if you can help people at sea you do. The real test is what the people he saved did to thank him afterwards?

Also curious are you a surfee or surfer? Or is their another word to decribe you besides best.

Upskirt, are you Bigwayne on steroids? Or Smucko, blogging from one of those clinics in California?