The Outsider: The Killer Inside Me

Steve Shearer picture
Steve Shearer (freeride76)
Swellnet Dispatch

This was a win for the true believers. -Paul Keating after the 1994 Australian election.

Don't worry. The title of the article is ironic. When I woke this morning with a tight knot in my stomach familiar to all Parko fans I was hoping that Joel would enable the inner assassin.

The 'hero' of the 1952 crime novel, The Killer inside Me, expressed his sociopathy via the benign habit of platitudes and cliches. No cheeseball Easter resurrection cliches here. Promise. The result is known, hopefully the post mortem may yield some knowledge.

Joel Parkinson is a prince and a poet of Australian surfing was my first waking thought as I headed for Bells. It really was. You can check my notes if you don't believe it. There was a cacophony of excited birdsong in the flowering gum outside the door and a violent sunrise was smearing the sky in it's bloody embrace.

I took those to be positive signs.

I got to Bells as Joel was preparing for his paddle-out in the Quarter Final against Owen. He was huddled down talking softly with Luke Egan, waxing the top of his feet which resemble large flippers. He rode four waves to eliminate Owen, who's ultra tight vertical angles of attack didn't quite do justice to the Bells Bowl. In terms of Parko's total energy budget for the day, he "only took a few sips out of the drink". Egan confirmed that "warmth was the key".

Those were the last words I spoke to the Parkinson camp. I wasn't prepared to interrupt in any way the free flow of thoughts, feelings and emotions which contribute to a winning mind-set for Parko. Yes, that is subjective. Mailer felt the same way when witnessing Ali v Foreman in the Rumble in the Jungle. A desire for natural justice lies at the heart of all writing worth reading, and a Parko victory at Bells Bowl fits that mold perfectly.

A Portuguese surf-writer took issue with my descriptions of the deep-seated roots of style. He made the point that Fabio Gouveia was as smooth as they come. And that De Souza was determined to take it to Slater and show that the Brazilian approach could be adapted to the Bowl. There's history between Slater and De Souza. Slater took umbrage with the aggressive approach that De Souza bought to the comp at Puerto Rico on the Title winning day. De Souza feels Slater hasn't shown him the appropriate respect. De Souza destroyed Slater in a heat that featured a very rare phenomena: a Slater meltdown. Was it equipment as we mentioned yesterday? Some rare emotional/mental blockage which caused the choke? Time will tell whether this was a significant strike on the supply lines of Slater's confidence.

His response was rock'n'roll. He stormed past the media with a face as dark as sin and smashed his board on the famous steps. Later, when the emotion had soothed his analysis was more sober. "Adriano (De Souza) is one of the most intense guys on tour, he's really passionate and never gives up. You can have him in a tough situation in a heat and he never doubts himself, I've never seen him give up in a heat. He's really improved in all aspects of his surfing since he's been on tour, he's not somebody to underestimate."

Bet on a fiery encounter next time around.

There was some heat in the Jordy/Davo clash. Seems Jordy didn't quite dig the lines Davo was drawing in their Round 4 clash yesterday and there was some rare loose emotion from the Bru before the webcast interview. Jordy looked unconvincing all event. He was bringing losing surfing and winning heats. It wasn't until his massive close-out floater smash against Fanning that he lit the crowd up. He's lucky to be 3rd behind Parko and Slater.

Fanning peaked in his semi against Jordy in a swell that was building beyond forecast expectation. It was a heat that Jordy made little impact in, save the manoeuvre described when he was soundly beaten.

I stood beside Egan and Wes Berg for the Final. They were grim-faced and tight-lipped. Parko started strong, with a keeper and continued to build momentum. He had Fanning comboed by the halfway mark. There was a response from Fanning with three minutes to go that lifted the combo bar and gave him a scent of victory.

I couldn't look. I ran up the stairs, and with ten seconds to go and counting down Parko and Fanning both paddled for a wave. Fanning took it but Parko had priority and came square off the bottom and pulled in....emerging to throw down the hack of the contest for a ten point ride. It was a moment of pure sporting perfection. Bottle this one and put it deep in the cellar. It will be a vintage worth savouring for a very long time.

I celebrated the Parko victory by running madly around the carpark trying to borrow a wetsuit. I even asked Rip Curl head honcho Neil Ridgway I was that frothed out. Finally I obtained one and spent a glorious hour in lightly crowded 6-8 foot Bells Bowl. The mercurial Victorian sun sent delicate tendrils of light behind the clouds in the valley behind Bells and the world felt very, very right.

The Outsider: The Known Knowns The Outsider: Ladies and Gentleman, we are floating in space The Outsider: The Great Rock 'n Roll Swindle The Outsider: Show Me Your War Face Soldier The Outsider: Remembrance of Things Past The Outsider: Prologue

Comments

rihale's picture
rihale's picture
rihale Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 9:25am

Steve - Another great unbiased, insightful covergae of the tour event. Independent thought not tied to the industry makes for entertaining reading at home on the couch. Love it.
Hope Swellnet have got your tickets booked to cover the remaining events!
Well done & thanks. Rich

surfaripat's picture
surfaripat's picture
surfaripat Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 9:39am

hey sheep,
bang! I love that you scrambled for the late i wanna surf uncrowded post event 6-8ft bells!! Classic! exactly what i expect from you mate! great stuff! what a contest...Parko at bells was awe inspiring!

surfaripat's picture
surfaripat's picture
surfaripat Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 9:40am

hey steve,
bang! I love that you scrambled for the late i wanna surf uncrowded post event 6-8ft bells!! Classic! exactly what i expect from you mate! great stuff! what a contest...Parko at bells was awe inspiring!

t-diddy's picture
t-diddy's picture
t-diddy Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 9:44am

fuckn killin it brother! see yas on thur/fri for post-holiday crowd lennox head?

rangoon's picture
rangoon's picture
rangoon Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 10:47am

i admire your polite modesty Outsider; today's and yesterdays exhibition was from the prince and poet of 'world surfing'.

pensky's picture
pensky's picture
pensky Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 10:54am

Great again Steve

I seem to remember your description of the event and particularly Victorian conditions generally being somewhat disparaging - I think you said something along the lines of "just not getting it". Does this last few days change that picture?

tonebone's picture
tonebone's picture
tonebone Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 11:10am

once again loved all your observations on the bells bout. your perspective brings clarity and disperses the fog of hype and propaganda like a bells norwester. i nearly pissed meself in the final and almost shed a tear with Parko's 10. Top stuff!!

hiline's picture
hiline's picture
hiline Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 12:13pm

To all camera men ,can you please pull back on the shots , i want to see more than just the surfer and 3ft either side of him , show us the wave ,or at least the next section

mattincabo's picture
mattincabo's picture
mattincabo Sunday, 24 Apr 2011 at 9:32pm

In a related story, the Rip Curl Search contest location was revealed and the lucky winner is a beach break in San Francisco. As expected, the locals are not "stoked" (can you say Gnarlaroo). The funny quote comes from longtime SF local and I quote "Were not star-struck, we don't care about guys like Joel Parkinson."

groundondown's picture
groundondown's picture
groundondown Monday, 25 Apr 2011 at 1:31am

More great work steve-
I was pining for Parko to win- it was the right result in all senses of the word, poetry for the purists. That last Parko wave took many a breathe away.

smeeagain's picture
smeeagain's picture
smeeagain Monday, 25 Apr 2011 at 7:03am

Great read again and 2 coolie boys show how it is done in great surf. The comment on surfing style of the Brazilians is so relevent and to me would also seem to run hand in hand with contest surfing locations. The new extremely rich events in shit surf locations is been taylor made for their surfing. I had the privilage (sort of) of surfing 6' Ulu's with Fabio Gouveia and a couple of his mates in the mid 80's. He absolutely ripped the shit out of it. They also made everyone else's session fucked because of the extreme hassling. It wasn't even crowded. Some things never change! Raoni Monterio looks extremely impressive in sizable good surf and would do well on the REAL dream tour. Sorry Jadson and Adriano, you don't have that natural feel for the waves of consequence. Lucky for you the pro tour is been custom made for your style of surfing.

batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate Monday, 25 Apr 2011 at 11:58am

Great to see Parko win. Tactically he can really miss the whole idea of the contest at times, but he can surf as good as anyone, and in the right conditions, better than anyone.

Some of those lines are poetry, some of yours too Steve.

brooks's picture
brooks's picture
brooks Tuesday, 26 Apr 2011 at 1:40am

Mr Shearer - great analysis of a a really great event!! Watched the final and it truly was an epic. Your summation was spot on!! Let's hope you cover the full schedule mate - nothing like keeping it real Bro'. See you for a beer and a recap soon - Garth

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 26 Apr 2011 at 4:12am

Anyone here remember some bloke that went by the moniker "The Insider?" I think his name was Tim. Or Nils. Or Nick, or something...?

Yea, me neither.

Nice work Freeride. Fresh perspective is what we want - and what we we gots.

Ps.

I hear Thyme and a little Oregano go great with Parko's jizz.

Heh heh.

julioadler's picture
julioadler's picture
julioadler Tuesday, 26 Apr 2011 at 5:31am

I must tell you once again - You are making all the other surf journos (whatever that is) irrelevant.
Now i owe you 3 Beers.

fly's picture
fly's picture
fly Tuesday, 26 Apr 2011 at 10:12am

'when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro'... Hunter S. Thompson

Mssr Outsider: your professionally weird... and weirdly professional.

'ken brilliant scribing man... go wider - go weirder - go wild.