A dreamers guide to surfing fame and fortune

Stu Nettle picture
Stu Nettle (stunet)
Surfpolitik

Surf trip conversation can be trying at times, especially when it lacks variety. I've got a mate that always bangs on about what will happen when he wins the lottery. "When I do," he tells me in conspiratorial tones, "we'll each get a quiver of Merricks, fly to Coolangatta and surf Snapper."

"That's very generous," I say, before reminding him he's never entered Lotto so the chances of winning are fairly slim.

Although he's well meaning the routine is mildly dispiriting. You see, not only is my mate too slack to buy a lotto ticket, meaning he's physically lazy, but he's mentally lazy too. What his daydream lacks is imagination. A bit of spark. A destination more exotic than Coolangatta and an ambition greater than winning Lotto. Me, I figure that if you're gonna waste your time on wishful thinking then you might as well bung some creativity in there.

For instance, when I'm daydreaming about being rich then I like to have earned my make believe money – I guess it's just the way I was raised. An inventor of clever and successful products is a recurring scenario. Like the people who talk about inventing Post It notes I have similar flights of fancy. "But you've never invented a thing in your life," my mate reminds me whenever I mention my latest fantasy, yet his sobering words don't dampen the reverie.

Recently it was GoPro cameras that I wished I'd invented. When I first saw one being used I opined that they would be hugely popular and the inventor would soon be able to afford quivers of boards for his mates and take them somewhere really good that wasn't Coolangatta.

When my feeble-minded friend asked why GoPros would be so popular I replied with the certainty of One Who Knows. "Never underestimate the power of the ego," I answered sagely. He nodded back. "After all, it was Narcissus who saw his image on the water." And he stared at me blankly.

Of course my premonitions proved to be true and GoPro cameras are very popular in surfing, as they are in all the action sports. Participants film themselves doing mostly mundane things then upload them to the 'net for praise from strangers. User content sites such as YouTube and Vimeo are flooded with D-grade footage from everyone who's ever mounted a camera to their helmet or board.

Now, hot on the heels of that lost opportunity comes another invention that seeks to further glorify unknown surfers and could've sent my mate and I on yet more fantastic voyages. If only I'd thought of it, of course.

Released last year, the SoloShot is a small contraption that fits between a tripod and a camera allowing surfers of all calibre to film themselves in action. After setting it up on the beach the surfer fixes a receiver to their body, presses 'record', and the SoloShot begins tracking them. It'll move and focus and record each moment automatically. When the surfer comes in they've got the whole session saved.

Of course, the intention is usually to make a short clip and post it on the 'net. Recalling Chuck Chaplin's line, "Genius is in the editing," the surfer can transform from slipping to ripping with a deft hand, judicious eye, and expensive software package. The SoloShot allows surfers to become a one man band producing vainglorious masterpieces to wow the web.

I venture that it won't be long till you see your first unattended tripod on the beach filming its starry-eyed owner in the surf. Of course it will be followed by more. Catering to base desires is a time-tested business strategy so the inventers of SoloShot are assured of a financial windfall – lucky them.

Meanwhile, between sets, my mate will bang on about his Lotto numbers coming up and I'll rue another lucrative invention that passed me by. None of that will be caught on film.

Find out more about the SoloShot here.

Comments

fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21 Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 8:54am

"I venture that it won't be long till you see your first unattended tripod on the beach filming its starry-eyed owner in the surf."

Shortly followed by looking to shore and seeing someone legging it up the beach with said camera in hand.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 9:00am

Ah, I see you're a fellow kleptomaniac Fitzy. It's the first thing I thought of too...

Regarding theft, this is from the Solo Shot website:

'For those situations where there is no one around to lazily read a book while SOLOSHOT does all the work, SOLOSHOT has a built in security feature that allows your camera to be locked to SOLOSHOT. The Camera-SOLOSHOT-TriPod may also be locked to any permanent structure (or large pieces of driftwood, or lifeguard stands so be creative).'

So you'll see someone legging it up the beach with camera, tripod, and a big bit of driftwood in hand.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 9:02am

Just think of the accessories Belkin will then make for the Solo Shot. All kinds of attachery, cable locks, display monitors, audio speakers.

Assuming you have the correct charger, that is.

ricep's picture
ricep's picture
ricep Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 9:17am

Not so sure about the popularity of this device. The first time i saw myself on film i felt ill. In fact i would rather stick with my mental imagery that i had just destroyed a wave occy style than watch the evidence to the contrary on film. Maybe this could be fun in the bedroom though.

patty's picture
patty's picture
patty Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 9:55am

Could be, Ricep. Long as you upload it to the internet!

fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21 Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 10:03am

Beware of where you place the reciever though Recip.

heals's picture
heals's picture
heals Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 11:09am

"...when I'm daydreaming about being rich then I like to have earned my make believe money – I guess it's just the way I was raised."

One of the best sentences I've read in a while.

dewhurst's picture
dewhurst's picture
dewhurst Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 11:36am

I'll bet that tripod has a better personality than many cameramen I know.

pensky's picture
pensky's picture
pensky Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 5:38pm

As soon as I read your statement about your mate's vision for surfing snapper I cracked up big time. That is hilarious - surely he's taking the piss. If not then he's an unwittingly witty fella - a bit like Occy I guess

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 8:49pm

Hey! I thought of this idea years ago! I actually implemented a version. I would paddle out at a now renowned spot in CR - Playa Negra -when there wasn't a soul around, train my camcorder on the peak and the shoulder of the right, go out and surf, come in, change the battery, repeat, one more time(that's 3 times - as I had 3 batteries) I have a photo of the photo set-up! Under a tree w/wave in bkgrnd. How do I post it here?
Then in the evening I would edit the footage of me actually surfing on to a master tape.
I repeated this process and made a full length video I named "Fishing Dogs" because one day two dogs showed up to eat the bloody remains of cleaned fish a local fisherman had left in a tidepool.(yes I filmed that to be included) they hungrily/happily devoured what remains were left.

Progress! the thought of donning a metal device crossed my mind back then as the only means I could think of that would allow a device/camera to track.

Just bring your handy chainsaw to the beach to remove said driftwood- and off you go with an up to date film crew.

Bring a friend to guard this set up or hire someone.

Hey that friend/guard could actually do the filming! We need a dollar amount comparison.

But if you surf isolated spots from your private yacht - no problem!

Until a local fisherman walks by.

tylerdurden's picture
tylerdurden's picture
tylerdurden Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 8:52pm

Heals, I couldn't agree with you more.
However, Stu then goes on to say how he wishes to have invented some sort of product, the premise being that at that point the hard work will stop and the cash will start rolling in.
I don't think the parents advice has really sunk in...how about your self esteem being in proportion to your community service and not your income?

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 10:27pm

tyler - you speak of Utopian societies - self esteem/comm. serv. -
do you also project a date that will happen?

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Thursday, 29 Mar 2012 at 11:30pm

I've trained my dog to take pix. At first he complained about his "missing opposable thumbs" (whatever they are), but he soon got clicking after I made him carry my board and wettie to and from the beach a couple of times. I'm trying to train him to develop film but he's a bit negative....

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 1:22am

Maybe all this exposure to something new is causing him to lack focus?

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 8:55am

It's this thread's fault, isn't it, Z? It really lens itself to bad puns. I've been exposed. Perhaps I should shutter up. Before someone gets shot.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 8:57am

f-Stop it whaaaat!

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 9:02am

Not my fault, I tells yer. I've been framed.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 9:17am

Yeah, it's not very flash. Nothing lens itself to any degree of transparency.

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 10:03am

My first reflex was to snap back. Better to just take stock, though.

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 11:23am

Well fellas, in contrast to my first post, I've regained my composure and now it's all just black & white.

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 11:30am

Well, that's coloured my view, kinda. Or my viewfinder. Take yer pix.

sidthefish's picture
sidthefish's picture
sidthefish Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 11:59am

well everyone, stumbled across this the other nite, it's a really beautiful piece.

we should always have a mal in our life, and use it occasionally to ride little sliders and love the glide. a bit of aquatic tai chi is good for the soul and remind ourselves of "the magic".

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 12:19pm

Sid, here's the flash: that clip represents Stu's premonition, writ large. It's taken the gloss off this thread, well and truly, and I'm happy to print that.

sidthefish's picture
sidthefish's picture
sidthefish Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 12:37pm

whaaat, I thought that clip was groovy, man.

stu, if these film-yourself-thingys really take off, you may need to build a sister site...

www.surfyourego.com

(with extra bandwidth for smucko, baha.)

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 12:55pm

At the risk of blowing holes in my own valued opinion and thereby sinking my self-esteem (Hi Tyler!), I should confess that I'm partial to the odd vid featuring an uninterrupted view down the line. Set it to a mellow jazz track and I'll click my fingers in time.

Just don't ever point that damn camera backwards to include the punters mug, or, as is the case in the vid above, a pair of nobbly old hoofs.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 12:55pm

Hope I haven't disappointed you fellas...

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 1:25pm

Sid & Stu - sorry; I was just continuing the stupidity and stretching my puns to breaking point. It was a very nice clip. This is what happens when a bloke has far too much time on his hands. Dog, I need a surf badly!!!!

heals's picture
heals's picture
heals Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 1:28pm

Gutted, Stu.

Hello to you too Tyler.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 1:31pm

Ha ha...There I was this morning, watching the puns pass me by: 'focus', 'shutter, 'expose'. I was gonna go the double exposure but thought it a bit cryptic. Thanks for making me feel better Whaaat.

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 1:34pm

Hi Tyler

the-roller's picture
the-roller's picture
the-roller Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 2:24pm

Stu, did you not know? whether a person buys a lottery ticket or not, they have about the same odds of winning.

as to mellow jazz, for a full hour and a half jazzy house mix, just tick the link below.

http://www.summerfondue.ru/archive/SummerFondueSessions143.mp3

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 2:35pm

Click the link that's called 'Summer Fondue' and has a Russian domain?

Err...no thanks. At least not at work.

sidthefish's picture
sidthefish's picture
sidthefish Friday, 30 Mar 2012 at 4:37pm

aw come on stu, nobbly old hoofs is where its at, man, I dug 'em.

you know there is this "movement" of "outhere" dudes who treat their feets religiously, they call it "earthing" and its based on a philosophy that to maintain true wellbeing we, as homo erectus, must spend a decent period of each day barefoot to connect our souls to mother earth.

far fucken out man.

the-roller's picture
the-roller's picture
the-roller Saturday, 31 Mar 2012 at 5:07am

ok, over cautious Stunet, here's a safe one for 'ya then.

victor's picture
victor's picture
victor Sunday, 1 Apr 2012 at 6:09pm

christ, reckon that sax player could root non stop for a week.

the-roller's picture
the-roller's picture
the-roller Monday, 2 Apr 2012 at 3:23am

Yup. Prolly would test positive...

Just like Matty Wilko.

http://www.surfline.com/surf-news/wilko-barred-from-tour-for-banned-subs...

rat-race's picture
rat-race's picture
rat-race Monday, 2 Apr 2012 at 12:04pm

I was paddling around the other day wondering when this device would show up. My friend and I have been filming each other surfing on and off for a while. This we do purely for the sake of being able to see what we are doing wrong when surfing, not the self glorification that may be the motivation of others. There is nothing worse than having to paddle to the beach to take your “turn” behind the lens. (Especially when your mate paddles into the channel and no matter how wild the gestures from me on the beach, he continues to miss all the best waves).
Seeing yourself on film is a fantastic way to improve, as it is with any sport.
So, I've gotta say, I like the idea of the "SoloShot". I’m looking forward to trying one.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Thursday, 14 May 2015 at 3:29pm

First GoPro, then SoloShot (not quite as succesful), and now Lily:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YLxGFLpOl0&feature=youtu.be

I can see it working for snowboarding and similar outdoor sports. Not so sure about surfing.

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Tuesday, 11 Feb 2020 at 1:44am

swellnet exclusive { # 1 Pro Surfer curse }
Think it's an easy life being number one!
tbb stresses in no way was this to out anyone or any misfortune.
Honestly had no idea of the hidden toll that plays out to this very day.
So much so that it commands more serious professional examination.
(That's being an all too obvious understatement!)

Note: Many cases involve mental illness...(Disclaimer tbb is a bipolar sufferer)
If any of this sounds mental ...that's because it is seriously mental & physical.

1993- #1 Kelly Slater is stalked by French (Biarritz) Milf with 2-5 y/old kid in tow.
Milf would photograph Kelly real close like @ Airports.
Tail Kelly in her car to Hotels & Restaurants & loiter in lobby then crowd stairs.
Follow Kelly to Contests & Hold Signs on Waters edge...> {E=MC2} + {I Love Kelly}
Went on for a few years & came to a head with an all in Bar Room Brawl.
Kelly believes the woman was suffering from mental illness.

1993 #1 Wendy Botha retires young (27)With continuous knee injuries/surgeries

1993 #1 Pauline Menczer
Suffering arthritis (Being pushed around in a trolley to save the agony of walking)
(Wins the title only to have her town ignore her agonising victory until 2017).

1996 Layne Beachley struggles with Chronic Fatigue & mental illness
1997 #1 Lisa Andersen retires from Surfing 1998 with severe back pain

*1990's All Pro women endured severe physical pain to claim & hold #1 spot

1999 #1 Occy Victory ...Only Occy knows how many more titles might've been.
Occy's (Burnout) was story of the day...The comeback Victory being bittersweet!

2006 #1 Shaun Tomson (Son's tragedy) {r.i.p Mathew} Crew send best Wishes.

2010 #1 Andy Irons {R.I.P}
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-06-11/andy-irons-died-of-heart-attack-d...

2010 #1 Stephanie Gilmore is attacked in her Stairwell @ Tweed Hds / Qld
Is cornered by Julius Fox (Homeless- Paranoid Schizophenic)
He smashes into Steph with an iron bar ...splitting her head open & her Arm.
Poor Steph's head was stitched up & arm was in a cask & comp looming.
Attacker was charged & served 4 years.
https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/julius-fox-27-pleads-guil...

2011 Occy's Anti Stalker Stalker...is this for real ? (Light hearted banter!)
Surf Journo...Casey Butler doesn't want Pro photo...already has one thanx!
https://www.theinertia.com/comedy/my-accidental-occy-stalking-adventures/

2014 (Romance Novel) Seaside Secrets by Melissa Foster (#5 Sweet with Heat)
Pro Surfer Tony signs Grom Autographs...(Grom Tony used to stalk Pro Surfers) Fair!
tbb included this as a turning point of sorts...the Star pressure was past recognised.
Surf celebrity seen as a lineage...is this an observed hidden truth or fantasy.
Could be that others outside of surfing see celeb power as to Surfing's laid back cred.

2014 # Damien Hardman undergoes a hip replacement.

2015 #1 Barton Lynch suffers Heart Attack & surgery (2012 Total Hip Replacement)

2018 # Tyler Wright (Withdraws with Chronic Fatigue) + Bro's injuries. Best Wishes!

2018 #1 JJF is plagued with injury & struggles to regain health...best wishes

2018 #1 Adriano De Souza also still struggles with injury...best wishes

2019 #1 Sunny Garcia (Recovering) Best wishes from crew.

2019 #1 Gabriel Medina bullies injury wildcard fellow countryman Caio Ibelli.
The last comps of the year Gabriel goes Spazz & deliberately takes out Caio...twice.
https://cdn1.theinertia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/ibelli.jpg
https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/gabriel-medina-of-brazil-drops-in-o...

2020 #1 Carissa Moore pulls out of Tour (To recoup)

2020 #1 Mick Fanning's...We know of Mick's Shark Stalkers
Now Stalker Sarah Anne Foote 38 y/old (Milf) from Ballina
Sarah pens poison love letters to Mick...
{ Sarah Loves Mick } or { I thought about Killing You! } Last one is more of a Fantasy!
Sarah would jump Neighbours Fence into Micks House...Twice Stealing Mick's Stuff.
Court : Sarah is not allowed within 500m of Micks House.
Leaving Court Sarah is cloaked in 'Rip Curl Crew Gear'...Go Figure.
'Rip Curl Crew gear!" Sarah most likely stalked Mick real close at Comps.
https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/mick-fannings-stalker-is-accuse...
PS: Perhaps Sarah foxed out Mick's Engagement to US Model & ramped ultimatum.
Congratulations Mick & Breeana!

tbb never knew of the hardship that our No.1 surfers endure...
As said, this needs further scrutiny outside of tbb's capabilities.
Strange, as tbb went full on with bodysurfing & is also on scrapheap!

Note: Only reason tbb is pulling up stumps is that it's late...list may go on yet?