Sorry Mate, I’m Doing The SurfAid Make A Wave Thing, So I’m Going This One
Hold it right there, buster. I know you’re on the inside, and I know it’s a nice wave, but I think it might be mine. I just deserve it that little bit more.
Honestly, it feels a bit weird bringing this up, and it’s SO not a big deal, really, and Lord knows, last thing I want is any attention, but just so you know, I’m doing this SurfAid Make A Wave thing, so if you don’t mind, I’ll be asserting ownership of this lovely little peeler. I’m sure there’ll be anothery after it.
It may seem unfair, but what you’ll learn after walking a mile in my shoes is…how can I put this without sounding condescending?…I was once a self-absorbed young buck, but I’ve come to understand that it’s only when you put the needs of others ahead of your own that you can begin to live a truly meaningful life.
And that’s why I’ve committed to going for a surf every single day of this month.
I know, right! Not really a burden, is it, surfing every day. Hardly a hardship! It’s like committing to eating a pie every lunchtime for a month, or promising to have a beer/spliff/wank every 24 hours. Like, where’s the part where I’m having to endure some sort of deprivation or whatever to actually earn the coin from my benefactors?
You’re right, there was a nobility to that 40-hour famine malarkey – a night of mild, growling-tummy discomfort that’d give you a small taste of the cause you were confronting – that going for a surf for 30 days straight can’t really lay claim to.
Come to think of it. On some level, it’s not far removed from those pro surfers who bang on about the ‘sacrifices’ they’ve made along the way to greatness. (Newsflash, fuckers! Training hard, eating well, foregoing nights out etc – that’s strategy, ambition, work, investment for personal reward. It’s not, ah, ‘sacrifice’.)
And, yes, you could argue that, for the cohort most likely to take on the September ‘challenge’, perhaps a more laudable exercise would be to stay out of the ocean for 30 days straight – or maybe if the northerlies fire up early and the water’s thick with bluebottles, then we might have us some fricken narrative traction to work with.
Sir, your death stare as we paddle side by side for this glassy gem implies all these valid concerns. And to be honest, sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this largely because it gives me license to run a fuck-ton of my best surf shot on my socials for 30 days.
Yeah but so what? This is the one month of the year the missus doesn’t give me grief for surfing my ring off, so I couldn’t give a shit about you poking holes in the whole thing. And the bucks I’ll raise will improve the lives of real folk who’d kill to have the luxury of the hardship of surfing every day for a month.
So fuck you. I’m going this one, and I’ll see you in Movember.
// DING ALLEY
(Note: Ding Alley is donating payment for this article to SurfAid's Make A Wave)
Ding Alley is confused writerer Gra Murdoch and comparatively well-adjusted illustrator pal David @maccatoons McArthur
Comments
The Dali Lama dropped in on me so I grabbed his leggy and took a swing at him between hold downs, elusive bugger easily evaded me even though he was wearing a gown, since when does being virtuous get you a wave?
Big hitter, the Lama.
Gold!!!
Nice one Ding and yes 30 days of no waves would be a tough one, specially if it's cranking.
Hey Surfaid, sounds like you’re good buddies with that grom’s Dad who thinks his kid is entitled to every wave and then gets agro with the surfers his kid been dropping in on for wrecking his kids waves. Bring it on. Entitlement Rules!
That sounds familiar..
Ding Alley…..
We’re not worthy
We’re not worthy
We’re not worthy
This is a great reminder to donate to the less fortunate in this world.
Ive been supporting Community Aid Abroad; monthly for 25 years....
CAA is now joined with Oxfam, to reduce overheads; to assist the poor local communities simple needs on the ground; clean water, growing food, improving sanitation, providing local sustainable jobs & training for addressing these issues, etc.
https://www.oxfam.org.au/about-us/
Give the website a look & be blown away at what they've done in 67 years
PS (will print a CAA / Oxfam wetshirt for free waves .... when I can retire..... at 67........? )
Pensioners got a pay rise today....so they may move the Oz retirement age to 70......
Best country in the world mate
hahahah, classic.
Very funny; and ironically full of truth..AKA I recently had a mate start a digital radio station to "realise his dream" Shortly thereafter he sent his friends a link to his GoFundMe page, so we could all pay him to realise his dream? None of his real friends understand this as a strategy - so awkward?
RIP Terry McDermott; a great lifesaver & surfer.
https://www.smh.com.au/culture/celebrity/saved-countless-lives-tributes-...
So you get to pretend your occy for a month?
oof
"It’s like committing to eating a pie every lunchtime for a month, or promising to have a beer/spliff/wank every 24 hours. "
Is PieBeerSpliffWank Aid a thing? Sign me up. Raise millions.
Imagine....
Imagine there's no FOMO
It's easy if you try
No "missed out" texts or photos
Just to make us cry
Imagine all the surfers
Livin' for today
Aaa haa
Imagine not surfing just from habit
It isn't hard to do
Just surfing when you really feel it
And no world surf league too
Imagine all the waves
Peeling away in peace
Yoo hoo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And start surfing just for fun
Imagine if surfing was no longer cool
I wonder if you will
Or a means to make some money
Just a soulful light upon the hill
Imagine all the people
Not causing crowds cause they feel they have to
Yoo hoo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And start surfing just for fun
That’s beautiful
That's a stroke of pure genius and a 10 from me , outstanding.
Frog, you're a dreamer.
haha
a beautiful dreamer, but no wsl, surely you've gone too far? So many good jokes just evaporated, so many LOLs disappearing without even a snigger and Footy isn't that funny, unless you happen to absent mindedly drop your stash on a casino table and try to pass it off as a deal bag full of crushed up anti inflammatorys.
Bravo Frog!
Fuckin BOOOM Frog!
Occy also agrees that surfing every day for a month is too easy.
That's why he's doing it all switchfoot.
Now there's a challenge.
How about a month of him not dropping in . I'm sure that would be a decent challenge and one worthy of my support .
Hahaha, Hack and slash for a month and that’s that.
Anothery!
Worth it just for that, Gra. Some nice philosophy in there too, subtle, unadorned, introspective.
Wasn’t aware of this surfaid surf for a month thingy. Good cause, not sure I love the ‘sacrifice’.
By the way, I picked up a White Horses subscription. Happily that swellnet article was close to Fathers Day, so an opportunist saw his opening and delivery swiftly followed. Cheers.
pussies, i’m 2917 days straight and haven’t missed a day since September 2014.