ARGUE WITH UPLIFT

To use one of the favored words from your limited vocabulary – you really are amasing, aren’t you, Mick?

Amasingly stupid. Amasingly asshatted. Amasingly narcissistic.

Only a person who is all of those things would think that he could say all of the things you’ve said over the past year or so, and no one would care. A person so sure of himself and his absolute authority on – well – everything and everyone that he would leave such large and easily traced clues as to his identity and whereabouts. The same person who has rubbed just about every bloke in this town up the wrong way at some point or other. A person who did not realize or, if he did, did not care about, the irreparable damage his own stupidity and crass idiocy has done to his credibility in a town where the only thing that matters is reputation.

Good luck with the looming retirement, old boy. Maybe you can eke out an existence writing articles for Model Trains Yearbook. Let’s just hope the new missus doesn’t find out too soon the sort of bloke you really are.

now I am really having a laugh....just checked out big handsome MB......I am nearly stumped for words...nearly....................ahh looks like a a grey haired nurse......sorry pardon the pun...could have been a great white...but the great would being dong the word an injustice........

well I guess he's nearly gone never ever to be nearly seen again maybe.......been fun ,but still he likes to use the word gimp as an insult......I think he might have realized if any of his comments went public he would be in serious shit........especially professionally...but he does have 4 contacts on linkedin......now that's impressive!

Whatever else he has done he has certainly provided many of you with hours of fun and been big enough to take it all on the chin and come back for more.

Yeah?

Nah.

Reverse shunted anyone lately gator?

blindboy wrote:

Reverse shunted anyone lately gator?

Absolutely.

So are you the cute little pink one or the big brawny green fellow?

WTF......this is getting like comedy central.......hey BB ...I think uplift just got in over his head...coming back for more...he just could never admit he was wrog at the beefed up was the be all end all...aspecially for surfing we all know that's just not true....but we did have a good time ...until I melted down a bit,but had a really bad couple of personal days......but I should have just shut up instead of venting......embarrassing really,but isn't the first and probably not the last....

guys toot toot...

blindboy wrote:

So are you the cute little pink one or the big brawny green fellow?

Dunno, didn't watch it.

....and all this time we thought you really were interested in model trains. Shame gator shame!

Are we back onto trains again? Cool:)
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England ,
and English expatriates designed the U.S. railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long-distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions.
Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
CHOO CHOO!

.....I'm thinking that would have to be an Imperial horse's arse rather than metric!

stray-gator_2 wrote:

blindboy wrote:

So are you the cute little pink one or the big brawny green fellow?

Dunno, didn't watch it.

Thats a forward shunt S-G2, with one then two then........

Gee, I wonder where the gimps are, what they're doing today?

The funniest thing is, this really is some of you guys 'world'. A handfull of you honestly think this is it. The 'world'. Its fucking hilarious. In the actual world, I am the only one in this comedy 'world' that can produce any evidence of any type of results regarding exercise and fitness. That's called the real world.

I did recently win business of the year, among other awards. Bruteless, the exact opposite in the real world. And re training, post some of your real world results, rehabs etc.

Here, The Bronzed Gimp, groges, souffle's etc, get to squawk up a storm, but in the real world? Forget it. Put something up that you guys have done. Zilch. Crickets ho!

I made you gimps a 'world', a 'world' to be something, somebody,out of the goodness of this huge heart. I deserve a medal. No one else even acknowledges gimps, even coach bruteless is trying to ban them, effectively eliminating himself.

So, thanx guys I have really enjoyed some of our banter.....this time over and out for good.........have a nice life ya all!!!

So don't even try to speak to me... even if I melt down, because I wont even answer anyone... ever!

And ever means EVER!

Well, sort of ever... maybe ever!!!!!

I just had a bad day, so its now or never...EVER!!!!!

Well, what I mean't to say, is I had a really, really really bad day. I actually ventured out into the the real world... fuck that, what a fuckn' floggin'.... forget fuckn ever, I'm back!

Uplift ,im glad the humour has come back.Welcome back,you were gone to long.

Glad to hear we are back honey.

'Excuse me officer, my name's the 'Bwonzed Gimp', I'd like to repowt a weawy serious cwime!'

'Now, now sonny, dry your eyes, blow your nose... shit is that what I think it is?'

'No, no officer, I was just makin' pancakes and sneezed and some of it went up my nose.'

'Ok, calm down, take some deep breaths, there, there, stop ya' snivelling, stop all that white stuff running out of ya nose, now start from the beginning.'

'Well, well anyway, bruteless said rossy c was the most powerfull athlete that ever lived, and he trains lots of elite guys, plus everyone knows his legs are stronger than even laird's, and then this big, mean guy that keeps pickin' on us reckons its bullshit, an' waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!'

'Now, now calm down, here, here's some more tissues, dry your eyes again, and calm down.'

An', an'... sniff, sniff, snivvle, snivvle, well anyway, then he started calling us gimps an' stuff, an said he could train people an stuff, an bruteless can go 370 mph, but he's just trying to figure out how to measure it, but he won't ever speak to anyone anyway, because he melted down, an' souffle' made a high chair, and goofer said 'Pavlich' is a wanker, and he knows heaps about footy, and welly dressed up like a gimp, an'... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

An' well, anyway, then, then, then he reckon's semi pro surfers are pipsqueaks, an' nobody want's to watch em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'

'Well, sonny, we've checked your story out, the big guy's actually my trainer, and what he said is actually all true'.

'Who are these people in the white coats officer.... whats that big needle for, and the wubber band?'

'Now, now sonny, everything's gonna be alright, the men in white coats are your friends, the needle will make you feel better, and the rubberband is to restrain you.'

'Well, well, did I tell you's all about Thomas Tank, and twains an stuff, corse I'm weawy cwever an' good at that!!!!'

Pathetic honey.

'And then welly sthaw some aliens, an' him and coach bruteless are making a secret board thing, and the big guy's mummy said...'

'What's that needle for?'

Hunched over the keyboard, tongue between the teeth for - what - 5 hours? And that same ole, same ole boring as batsheet drivel is all you got?! And it's not like you'd be gettin laid or anything to fill in the time. Christ, what a fab life you've got ole son. No more than you deserve, mind.

Not as boring or pathetic as watching it, or having nothing to do but wait for it! Its all I need. Captivated gimps. The best thing in their life.

Technology is a wonderful thing, you dimwitted piece of aged beefcake.

sg2 ,

Are you David Thorne , and Lifty is really Simon Dempsey .

" http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vsga6 "

C'mon mick give up. Not funny. I can't understand why you persist with this crap. All the people who read this in your little town know who you are and are surely rolling around laughing at you

'If you don't take that wubber band off me, wight now, and wet me go, my fwend in the highchair will get you!!!. Heeth got technowogy...we measure ouwe faths an sthtuff... Whats that needle fouwr!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Yorkthey heeellwwwpppp me, ith not faiwr we're juth gimpths!!!!!!!!!'

southey wrote:

sg2 ,

Are you David Thorne , and Lifty is really Simon Dempsey .

" http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vsga6 "

Yes.

I mean, No.

'Thumbody tewll hith mummy!!!!!'

Gee I am uplifted by MB's dialogue on his so called real world.....ahhhhh this place is called swellnet and has a certain sorta Surf feel and the subjects are ...surfing...that's where guys ride waves and talk about the sport /Art of surfing....

you seem to be hell bent on just whinging about how handsome,muscle ridden,BIG,trainer extrordinaire,all round community good guy....award winner.......

then you bullshit in making up stories to support your feeble life........and delusions of grandeur .......have you ever..

Towed
consistently ridden a wave over 10 '..Hawaiin size
ridden a 5 8 tow bd
ridden 10 6 gun in 20'plus surf
spoken with big wave surfers about their equipment
spoken with shapers about big wave equipment
actually seen any guns or tow bds
done anything tech in surfing other than pumped iron to slow ya down...as you are a legend supa hero surfer at blacks...
not insulted people who are not as well of as off as you such as kids with cancer,people with disabilities

I think if we rounded up all your comments from swellnet and sent them to the proper authorities me thinks you might be in deep doo dah......

but carry on please you are a source of what not to be in life ....which I think makes us all feel ,well pretty good about our lives.......as life could be hell of a lot worse...we could be you...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

If you look at the perceptions re surfing, and see how they hold up in the real world, there are glaring inconsistancies. One perception much bandied about here, is that Pro Surfers are much more flexible, coordinated, and skillfull than other athletes, and have extremely strong cores, and need to be much smaller and lighter to be so. The real world has however glaringly shown the exact opposite to be true.

When a world champion surfer, still regarded as good enough to surf on the circuit, entered the 'Dancing with the Stars' competition, where all contestants were on a level playing field, he was found to be the one of the least flexible, least fluent, least coordinated and least skillfull of the contestants. Judged the actual worst performance ever. His lack of core strength, and in surfers in general, was also highlighted, by himself. Great guy but... can he do anything other than surf? An unfit chef, twice his size won the contest. Thats the easily verifiable real world facts.

Surfers tend to think who could be more gung ho than big wave surfers? Like wise, when Kobi Abberton entered a similar diving based contest as one of the only people still in his prime, and absolutely no doubting his gung ho performances in the surf, most surfers assumed he would easily win. Yet, on an equal playing field, a retired cricketer proved that there are equally or even more gung ho people than much proven, top heaviest of wave surfers.

Highly successful big wave surfer Richie Vaculik's foray into UFC has shown that weight divisions are crucial, and that being a bigger, stronger, heavier athlete is a huge advantage, not hinderance. The dancing contest also put the superior flexibility, grace, timing, coordination etc argument of the much smaller surfers well and truly to sleep. The training load, and commitment of other elite athletes is made crystal clear in the UFC scenario.

As clearly portrayed on here by so called 'experts' the perception is that correctly applied weight training and size, increased weight, is a hinderance to performance. Yet, glaringly, in the real world a much better than average surfer, who was ranked amongst one of best to ever surf Gland by his peers, cites weight training as key to being able to deal with injury, avoid surgery, and continue surfing at an even higher level. Even getting the best wave of his life. That infuriates the 'experts', a common scenario when they are proven wrong in the real world, so the wagons are circled and the discrediting tactic is employed. Despite all proof to the opposite. Bruteless then claims blacks is nothing, yet Peter McCabe who I surfed with there, who is a legend at Gland, said, and proved, the exact opposite. Surprise surprise.

Clean and jerks used properly are a universely loved and adopted exercise by elite athletes. Again, despite the classic public, and 'expert' misconception concerning Olympic Weight Lifting, athletes know the exact opposite is true. They are the ultimate, transferable test, and developer of flexibility, explosive power, speed, core strength, and overall strength and fitness, and can be utilised in many ways. They quickly expose flexibility and strength weaknesses. I have tested many surfers with them and they always get a huge shock. The technique can quickly be taught by experienced practitioners, whereby skill is soon exited from the equation, exposing what's left, what's wanting.

The athletes learn crystal clearly, that if for instance a surfer a similar size to the average pro struggled to get reps with say 30kg, the ability to get 60kg overhead for reps will only be possible by genuinely improving flexibilityand core strength in particular, along with overall joint integrity, plus much increased explosiveness and overall strength and cardio performance. That's the real world.

All of this is easily verifiable, and is what happened, is happening, in the real world. Here many misconceptions are prolific, and protected by any means till the end.

Did you just write the same comment in two different threads?
The best big wave surfer in the world (Shane Dorian) weighs roughly what, 75kgs..
Same as the best surfer in history (Kelly Slater) 75kgs..
Both lean, fit, flexible athletes..
Not muscly, ripped, bulked up bicep curling, clean and jerking weight lifters.. Why are you constantly comparing surfing to other sports.. This website is about surfing..
Not mma, ufc, Olympic weightlifting, boxing blah blah blah..
No one gives a fuck about "overhead reps", just overhead waves uppy

Hmmm Blacks Vs Cloudbreak,Chopes,G-Land.Tombstones,Bluff,Mundaka,...and on and on we go.......

Off topic,

Brutus Cy here, are you back in aus and contactable re new boards?

If you right upsy daisy why can't you surf any good?

Go buy a jetski and have some fun instead of arguing on the internet over shit no one cares about...
For fucks sake...
My midget fight team will choke u out and make u tap out so fast you'll think u are in a purple fog made of lycra...

Hey Cy back in a couple of weeks....off to Hawaii next week for a bit of R&D.......then home for a month...

this is the most retarted thread ever.

Like the horse arse rant tho.

I know all about sharks, more than anyone on here. Let me tell you why.
So one day I go into Elly pub, everyone was pleased to see me, girls trying to chat me up and guys I don’t even know trying to buy me beers. Amasing stuff. Anyway I let Bob buy me a beer and he tells me about this crazy scientist that come into town and trying to tell the kids at the school that their are 3 theirs. There, their and they’re. I said bullshit their all the same word, they sound exactly the same he’s just making up 2 extras and changing the spelling. Bob says “that’s what I thought too, but I wasn’t sure, but I knew you would know the right answer.”
So I go straight down to the school to see this csiro science man from the big smoke.
“what’s this I hear about you trying to brainwash the kids around here with 3 different theirs?”
“I’m just teaching them the differences between there, their and they’re. English is a complicated language”
“Their is only one their. Their all the same. Don’t try and confuse these kids with your scientific terms such as nouns, verbs or possessive adjectives.”
“They are not scientific terms, and I’m not a scientist. I’m a teacher.”
“All you scientists are the same, just ask the indigenous people of this country. They were going just deluxe for 60,000 years and then you came along.”
“ummm… I’m not sure what you are talking about”
“Well let me tell you. This fat chick came to me, none of you so-called expert scientists could help her, had her on all sorts of crazy low-fat diets but she still put on wait. Hilarious. So I “trained” her hard for 12 weeks (if you know what I mean ;)), had her eating a dozen boiled eggs a day, duck fat and a couple of big macs. Look at these 2 photos. Before and after. Now try and tell me I don’t know about quandongs”
“quandongs??… Uhh.. anyway she doesn’t really look much different and why is she holding that newspaper. Isn’t that what they do with hostages in south America??”
“ohhh so now you’re an expert on the health and fitness industry are you?!? The newspaper shows how long it was between the before and after shot. And don’t believe anything you hear about me holding fat chicks hostage and me making them eat eggs and cream”
“Well actually it doesn’t prove anything. I think you’ve been watching too many Hollywood movies. You could keep a newspaper from today and use it 6 months later for your after photo. The only thing it proves in the movies is that the person was alive as of that date, not how fit they are or how much they weigh, besides you can’t even read the dates in your photos.”
“Look you scrawny little gimp scientist, you know nothing about fitness, I once sucked off Toddy Archer in the carpark and then he went out and got the best barrel of his life. I’m the best basketballer in Elliston and pro surfers aren’t even fit, did you even see the pipe final JJF and Kelly, and one time Maurice and wayne came to town, another time kango and rabbit did too and I showed them all. It was amasing. So I’m telling you the composition of this chicks blood changed don’t even worry about the newspapers in the photos. WORDY SAID IT TOO, SO BAD LUCK”
“Wait.. who is JJF, Kelly or maurice? And what do they have to do with me teaching children correct grammar?? And whilst I’m not a scientist, it seems you have something against scientific process yet you claim to have changed the composition of this “fat chicks” blood by “training” her hard. How exactly did you measure that?”
“By tasting it of course, here look at these 2 photos. Before and after. Fat chick in the back ground holding a newspaper. That’s me in the front tasting her blood. See my thumbs down. Now in this one. Thumbs up!! See you wimpy little expert scientists don’t know everything. Now let me tell you about sharks…..

.

hahaha.. this is the best thread ever! thanks udo.
Mick Bourne - no credibility.
"WORDY SAID IT!!!! SO BAD LUCK!!!!!!" - jealous OLD Biff Tannen

That time when old Biff threatened an innocent person online based on his little boyfriend wordy whispering in his ear.

uplift wrote:

... I probably bitch slapped you a little bit too hard last time I was ordering you out of the water again, never mind. Anyway, WORDY RECKONS you are moth, so looks like I will be up there after all! WORDY, THE VICCO 'DIPLOMAT' SAID IT, SO, BAD LUCK!

He really is a top bloke though! He has a few references to prove it. Just a little misunderstood