Thoughts from the shadow of the mountain

1/ Me and Bali are like peas and carrots.

I've been trying to think of an analogy to express my feelings for the much maligned island of Bali. Then it struck me like a soft top board cast aside by a fearful Croation learner kook in the face of 1 foot of Kuta beach whitewash - Bali and myself are like Forrest Gump and his soul mate Jenny.

Forrest always loved Jenny from the moment they met. He loved her for who she was fundamentally . Jenny , unfortunately, never felt her true unadorned self worthy of love and so it was that she allowed herself to be subjected to the whims and vagaries of suitors and fly by nighters that would never truly love her or respect her in the manner of Forrest and his unwavering dedication.

And so it is with Bali.

Her true beauty is masked in the cloak of globalised monocultural dross.

McDonald's . Hilton . Rip Curl and Hard Rock Cafe .

Bali was perfect until she tried to impress those with no love for her inherent charms. I'm afraid that she may suffer a similar tragedy to that of Jenny. Her desire to be everything to everyone rather than allowing her innate perfection to speak for itself may be leading to a point of no return and an overwhelming sense of regret.

In the meantime I'm content to play second fiddle and wait for her to come to the conclusion that even though I'm not exciting or rich or a name celebrity or flooding the country with renminbi, that I'll always love her for who she is and that's all I ever wanted.

2/ Love is ...

My love for Bali is all encompassing. But there is something about the people that call Bali home that I can't get enough of . Particularly :

I love the fella that thinks it's a good idea to wear his full faced motorbike helmet whilst fishing with his cast net up to his waist in the lagoon.

I love the bloke that was yelling at my car window from his motorbike in the next lane as I drove across the toll road bridge in a torrential monsoonal downpour at close to 100 kms an hour. What was he yelling ?

" You want Watersport ? " of course .

I love the many waiters who insist that chicken is a vegetable.

I love the fact that the boat captain sees no problem whatsoever in smoking whilst he's sitting on the fuel tank. Or that he's been made boat captain charged with piloting a rickety jakung around the surf and through the treacherous reef pass even though he can't swim a stroke.

I love the man on the side of the road who offers me a ride in his taxi ... even though he has witnessed me literally just exiting one.

I love them one and all.

3/ Glorious schadenfreude.

I've got a nemesis in Bali.

As far as someone with whom to share a seething malignant rivalry goes he's really very good.

To be honest I struggle to recall the moment that our mutual antagonism began , though I suspect it was an otherwise innocuous dispute over one wave or another. Either way it's an entrenched piece of theatre that we both seem to revel in.

Utterly wordless , our territorial clash takes place regularly at one of my favourite surfing locations. He's frequently there and is amongst the best surfers most days with his precise style and notable flow on his signature red board . At times we are the only people sharing a vast lineup but still never the hint of acknowledging each other.

One larger day with no one around I caught him waiting for me to paddle out. Though I was quietly grateful for the company myself , I had no intention of letting this be known. As soon as he spied me making a move towards the line up it became , like everything else , an unspoken competition between us . This time to see who could get first priority at the peak . I chuckled inwardly as I saw him fall victim to the false economy of trying to run over the sharp low tide reef and it was very satisfying to see him curse and stumble as I quickly outpaced him with my fins first , shallow paddle technique.

After attaining the line up the usual scowling paddle battle ensued as a bomb set rolled down the reef . It was all I could do to make the drop as by this stage I'm laughing openly and with genuine joy at our shared antics. Surfing my way down the line I pulled off to see him flying through sections on his trusty red board. Then he got axed and surfaced to find his pride and joy in two seperate red halves. He was gone into the lagoon and I didn't see him for months.

Till a couple of days ago.

Gone is the trusty red steed and in its stead is a shiny new stick from a marquee label.

And it's the worst piece of shit board I think I've ever had the pleasure of watching someone attempting to wring any kind of functionality out of.

So there I am paddling back out . I look up to see The Nemesis simultaneously bog a rail and get caught behind a sublime section and I laugh heartily and audibly. He surfaces and catches my happiness.

And I laugh harder.

4/ The best of times , The worst of times.

Mt Agung is threatening to erupt.

Fire and brimstone. Acid rain and toxic ash clouds. Not something you really want to be a part of.

And the possibility of a devastating eruption is very real.

As a consequence there are less tourists here on the island of the gods. Who wants to be immortalised in a fossilised ash sculpture like the unfortunate citizens of Pompeii ?

https://www.tripadvisor.co.za/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g187782-d3213619-i...

Or even just risk being stranded in a hotel without power , water or food as the workers return to their families and all flights out are cancelled ? As insurance policies are nullified ?

Not many at all.

So the locals are already struggling . Money is hard to come by without tourism.

Luckily many expats have remained and a few travellers braves the threat so the money flows.

And for those that face down the wrath of Agung ?

Well the surf is still not uncrowded but the water is warm and the smiles are still infectious.

It's happy days.

Merry Christmas everyone .

Hope Huey fills your stocking with sick pits and filthy chicks.