Oil rigs in Bight.

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yorkessurfer started the topic in Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:06pm
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yorkessurfer Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:08pm

Check out the graphic in this link. A future oil spill will ruin the pristine coastline of the Southern Yorke Peninsula forever!
http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2014-06-11/bight-petroleum-to-explore-for-...

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Craig Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:15pm

Yeah no good at all ay YS. If they're giving them permission to explore, then surely that's not a good sign in stopping them actually setting up the infrastructure to then extract the oil. Very sad.

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roger-ramjet Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:28pm

First rig is due in 2016 by company called Diamond Offshore. Another BP one on its way too with the helicopter contract already secured by BP to fly their crews out of Ceduna. They have been seismic testing in the bight area south of Ceduna for a few years now. The rigs are DPP rigs which are state of the art floating style they are not fixed to the ocean floor.

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yorkessurfer Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:35pm

The company withdrew their initial bid and then reapplied this year under the new watered down federal environment regulations!
http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-02/oil-and-gas-company-jumps-to-ne...

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salt Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:43pm

Some of the most beautiful, most untouched coastlines on the planet. One fuck up and we have another Gulf of Mexico on our hands. Its a fucking disaster waiting to happen. Might wipe out a few Pointers as well as everything else. Fucking Horrendous.

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thermalben Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:44pm

How did this slip through the net after there was so much vocal opposition against Margs?

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Craig Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:50pm

Diamond Offshore have also put out job advertisements on Ocean Great White, a new ultra-deep rig going into action around 2016 as you said roger-ramjet.

Only 21 days old:
http://www.linkedin.com/jobs2/view/14005946

So this is for certain then, drilling in the Bight and off Ceduna in 2016?

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roger-ramjet Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:52pm

Don't think anything is getting slipped through Ben. The topic has been in the local newspaper and tv for the last few years with the tuna guys that catch their quota out there upset at the start and have now said its ok. Contact the port Lincoln times they have been reporting on it from the early years of seismic survey etc.

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roger-ramjet Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:54pm

Yeah it is Craig there are a lot of ex fisherman from here that have moved into the oil and gas sector so the info is solid. A mate of mine works for diamond offshore on the drill floor on a rig off WA and will be on the SA one in 2016 as he lives here on the EP

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Sheepdog Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 12:57pm

Yorko, I find the whole process (re' "new watered down federal environment regulations") offensive....
That's my main concern...... Remember though, we have had oil rigs in bass straight for decades...... I can't recall a spill, but I stand to be corrected.... There are some pristine coastlines ( Wilsons prom', Tassie, even surf coast..... But no disaster......

It's the lack of transparency that worries me..... No community input...... And no considerable political mileage can be gained by labor.... Take note of the last sentence in the article; " The new regulatory streamlining of offshore oil and gas projects, the "one-stop shop" approval system, was initiated by the former Labor government and completed by the current government."

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yorkessurfer Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 1:05pm

Yeah both sides of politics have got grubby hands over this one Sheepy! Wasn't trying to score political points, it's too important a subject for that!
The fact that the company withdrew their bid and waited for the new regulations suggests that they didn't want their bid to be scrutinised by the public, and the federal environment minister can now wash his hands of it and say "it's not my problem"! Disgraceful ;(

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thermalben Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 1:07pm

I remember when the Gnarlyknots oil exploration well went in off Ceduna in 2003-ish (was mentioned at the BOM, as they were after marine forecasters to work on-site). Not sure if this part of the same project though, as I believe the new ones are located closer to KI.

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/26/1048653749298.html

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Sheepdog Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 1:15pm

It is disgraceful, yorko..... I wish you and the locals luck.......

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Craig Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 1:22pm

As Salt pointed out, the Yorke and Eyre Peninsulas are so unique and sensitive, it'd be devastating if anything went wrong and there was a spill or contamination across the coast. Lets hope it's well managed, but if there is a chance to stop it in the way of petition etc. let us know as I'll be one of the first to sign up.

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yorkessurfer Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 2:09pm

If electric car's first developed in the 90's had evolved we may not have needed to keep putting these new oil wells in by now?
I saw a good documentary a while ago called 'Who Killed the Electric Car'.
Sadly big oil companies, George W Bush and corporations like GM conspired to keep us all dependent on oil. It's worth a view, here's a summary from Wikipedia.....
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Killed_the_Electric_Car%3F

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wellymon Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 2:44pm

What about the Ningaloo Reef North West shelf ...? That is still operating, with no oil spills...? 11 years +.

Everyone says oil is getting depleted, they the big companies have only started exploring to new realms, which don't even go into the depths of the ocean.....? Depths include the areas of the bottom of the South Island NZ where huge deposits have been found 2 kilometers deep. It will only be time when technology and engineering can make this happen. The technology is not there to get it at the moment..?

Yes it is disgraceful but we can not stop these big conglomerate companies that actually rule this world with so much monies they have...?,these various companies rule the pattern in BB's Climate Change thread etc etc..

I think many people think oil spills, like what happened in the gulf of Mexico not long ago etc.
I'm not sure of this incident and how it erupted and was a disaster :(.
I know myself from working in these environments, is that the whole spectrum is such a huge risk that the risks involved are calculated at such a high level now, that they have procedures in place. Which started from the Piper Alpha, North Sea.

The "Safety Case"is developed off this incident, through NOPSEMA.

I feel bad for future oil exploration around this beautiful country, but it will only get bigger due to technology and greed. Lets hope NOPSEMA will do a thorough job and stop any of these installations from erupting into a catastrophic nightmare along our coasts. As well as myself...

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wellymon Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 4:13pm

A safety case for the Nganhurra, that Ive worked on,,?

http://www.nopsema.gov.au/assets/Publications-2/Report-Offshore-Health-a...

If you can be bothered reading.

There are "Safety Cases" for every installation that are developed through NOPSEMA.

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wellymon Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 3:13pm
Craig wrote:

Diamond Offshore have also put out job advertisements on Ocean Great White,

Why Craig why...?
Don't leave Ben and us, we need you.
Why

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roger-ramjet Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 3:30pm

An oil spill would be an absolute catastrophe but given the minimal risk of it and the fact that there is no way of stopping the oil and gas companies due to the revenue they create for local, state and federal governments and the probable backroom kickbacks that a few key figures receive the effort would be a waste of time.
Better to concentrate on eliminating the " 1 percenters " to use a football term. I mean the small amount of pollution and waste that each and every transfer vessel, pilot boat , line boat, seismic vessel and even the rig itself puts into the ocean. There are stringent waste management procedures for getting rid of food, fuel and oil, grey/black water and general rubbish which need to be properly policed as they are not always followed.
Local groups should have a good look at these and see if they should be more stringent to better care for our coast and probably better enforced than they are up in the west.
Having been up on the NW coast and seeing the massive amount of ocean traffic I hope that if that sort of thing comes to SA we can maintain our coastlines as they are now.

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Sheepdog Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 3:48pm

Good point Roger...... The dirtiest beach prize in Australia goes to...... (drum roll).......... Border village in south australia...... Illegal dumping...... I've heard some nightmare stories about the nullabor......
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-11/australia-dirtiest-and-cleanest-be...

Mind you, west coast tassie aint much better...... You really have to wonder about the human race....
http://www.themercury.com.au/news/tasmania/annual-southwest-marine-debri...

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wellymon Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 4:15pm
roger-ramjet wrote:

.
Having been up on the NW coast and seeing the massive amount of ocean traffic I hope that if that sort of thing comes to SA we can maintain our coastlines as they are now.

I hope so to Roger Ramjet :)

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salt Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 7:56pm

It might sound like 'not in my back yard' but screw it I don't want this shit in my back yard, I don't give a rats arse what it does for the local, state or national economy. I don't want any dirty fucking oil pumping rigs anywhere near our peninsulas or any other part of our coast for that matter. It is just too precious to risk.

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Sheepdog Wednesday, 11 Jun 2014 at 8:06pm

"Nimby", aye, salt...... I think we're all nimbys, depending on the topic.......

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inzider Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 9:11am

NIMBYS, buy an electric car, a wood stove and stop using rubber tyres on your car or push bike for that matter and while your at it stop typing on your plastic keyboard and start writing letters sent by pigeon.
I can understand your panic at potentially having rigs drilling in your area. Dont get too upset just yet.
The gulf of mexico was not an accident it was a bean counters tight arse that caused that tragedy.
If you want to educate yourself on this drilling disaster watch this Stanford university lecture

The only way you will stop oil companies is by destroying capitalism and countries with big armies.
Good luck

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salt Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 10:45am

Your right inzider. I will not give everything up, I couldn't even get to these coastlines without a car, petrol, tyres, etc etc etc. But in this instance I am whole heartedly a proud Nimby. I reckon most in SA would be, unless of course they are set to benefit personally from these rigs. I'm sure there are people on this forum living on the West Coast that would love a rig job, FIFO of Ceduna spend some time on a rig then chilling and surfing in the desert then back out on the rig, wangle autumns off and life would be grand untill there is a spill and the secluded, deserted break you cherish is covered in black stinking toxic slime, laydened with half dead sea birds and marine animals never to be the same again. I probably sound ridiculous and over the top but i dont want that shit to ever happen out there, not in MY back yard. I reckon there is a bit of NIMBY in all of us, we are all human. Heaps of greenys are all for wind farms, but if one were erected on the hills above their little 3 acre hobby farm where they live and grow their bio-dynamic cabbage they would be spewing. Finally where are Sea Shepherd on all this anyway, they got on board for the Kimberly fight, the Great Australian Bight is a whale sanctuary, a Southern Right Whale breeding mecca, i haven't heard a peep from them on this one.

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Sheepdog Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 10:59am

Inzider...Re' "nimby".... I said we are all nimbys, depending on THE TOPIC....... Hypothetical number1 - I assume you are a parent, Inzider..... Well a child rapist has just served his time... In the eye of the law, he has paid his price...... Corrective services decide to move him into your street...... Because you are not a nimby, Inzider, you support the move.....
Hypothetical number 2 - The best position for a new mobile phone tower is right out the front of your place...... You are not a nimby, so even though $1000s will be knocked off your house price, and the risk for bad health, you tell your neighbours to stop whining...
Hypothetical number 3 - A new government embraces nuclear power.... Upwind, just behind your place, is where they are building it, and they also need to put in a new highway overpass, above your house..... you wont protest, because hey........
Are you happy with these 3 scenarios, Inzider? ;) Or is there a touch of nimby stirring? lol

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inzider Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 11:33am

Sheepdog, I live in a town that relies on the oil and gas industry , we have wells onshore and offshore. they are in my back yard, oil has been seeping out of the ground here for time immortal. I am an Imby
Yes I'm a parent who has had a paedophile move in across the fence without any warning, so hypo #1 gone, cell tower in front of house, Dosnt happen in residential areas in my town Hypo #3 gone
NZ is nuclear free, hypo #3 gone. more stirring please.

Salt- Last time i looked the Cooper basin in SA had 100's of wells pocked all over the joint, its in your back yard already, its just that your backyard is fuckin enormous. If they decide to drill a couple of wells in the bight the chances of finding something produceable is small perhaps. Australia has a fairly robust drilling safety record apart from the wee whoopsie up Timor way a few years ago. Sea sheppard need diesel to run their boats, I dont think they can run on whale oil, conflict of interest.
I am hearing ya with regards to spills and destruction of coastline etc. But as I said before, no one can stop these mega corps.

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salt Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 12:04pm

People get emotional on topics that hit close to home, that will affect them I suppose. As much as I would love too I haven't spent all that much time exploring the outback. I always wanted too, but due to time and finance constraints as well as lack of surf outback, I always gravitated to the coast. There are shit loads of wells out there, and shit loads of holes some very big ones that I am sure have disrupted the natural ecosystems of the area, but I think there is a difference between offshore drilling for oil and tapping wells in the middle of the desert. The mobilty of a spill at sea ie the area that a spill can effect is the main difference I see. Some might say drilling in the cooper basin affects the great artisian basin, it probably does, there would would be many negative effects mining is having on the Cooper Basin. Like I said I havn't been out there I dont feel personally involved with the place, with the Peninsulas I do.

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Sheepdog Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 12:05pm

Inzider.... I wasn't "stirring"..... And if you noticed my earlier posts, I said I was aghast at the lack of political transparency, not the rigs themselves.. I also pointed oyt the Bass straight rigs having had no disasters.....

Ps hypo 1 - You dodged it..... I said a child rapist ( not just a perverted "kiddy tickler", but a child RAPIST is to be moved into your street.... ... Do you support a child rapist being moved into your street?
Yes or no question....

Hypo 3 - Dodged again........I said a NEW government....... A new government overturns NZs nuclear free laws..... Our new government has overturned world wilderness advice on Tasmanian old growth forests.... So shit happens
So I'll throw it at you again..... a new NZ hard right wing government brings in nuclear power yada yada next to your place yada yada highway overpass yada yada.... ?

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inzider Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 12:40pm

Salt -The basin is a place much like the devils anus. I much prefer exploring the strayin coast. You are correct with regards to a spill at sea vs the desert.
Sheepdog, not sure which planet you live on but transparency and politics in the same sentence is virtually an oxymoron.
NZ does have a very right wing govt, and if they did fuck up my back yard aint nuthin i can do exept move on and start again.

Sheepdog. I will refrain from commenting about child rapist scenario it is a rather distastful disturbing topic.

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Sheepdog Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 12:36pm

Inzider, I live on planet hypo, where people answer yes or no questions with yes or no :)
Cheers, "bro".... ;)

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wellymon Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 2:30pm

.... :)

I think a lot of us don't realise how many oil and gas installations offshore and onshore that cover this vast landscape....?
This is only a few that are in WA/NW..

http://www.dmp.wa.gov.au/documents/081721Room_to_Grow.pdf

I was absolutely amazed at this whole industry when I first started 5 years ago offshore and had no idea at all about this infrastructure..
Do you think I like the whole mechanics of it.....? NO I don't at all but...... It pays the mortgage and bills and if I didn't do it, someone else would..!
Like I have explained above the "Safety Case" on all installations is right up there in Australia compared to other countries, NOPSEMA are so hard here, you can not let anything get away, especially with maintenance. NOPSEMA are so thorough it's frightening.

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Blowin Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 5:27pm

Welly, same story.
Brace yourselves gents , this is gonna get ugly.

I actually fancy myself as someone that cares for the planet . The reality is that I don't really extend that concern beyond putting my rubbish in the bin .... For someone else to empty .
Proof of this - a fair while back ( nearly twenty years ago ) an onshore drilling rig set up at Exmouth, just north of the lighthouse. Short story being I got an accelerated induction into the industry due to a couple of unfortunate incidents with some workers. So on the days I wasn't surfing in the pristine waters I was literally pouring caustic and associated drilling chemicals into the aquifer.

While protests were staged , I fed the hopper bags with radical substances and ran pipe while the owners crossed their fingers hoping for a return.

The well was a dud thank fuck and my new mates shut shop and moved on , I declined an offer to join their circus and carried on.

I had found my price though, the amount I would accept to sell out my personal beliefs. At the time there was no moral quandary , I was that stoned and the money was too good to refuse... Good times.

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wellymon Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 7:45pm

I hear you Blowin, I hear you.....

Have never worked on a drilling platform, never will, only installations and yep I kind of have an idea of that shit.
Even on the installations with the chemicals they pump into the ground to stop organic build up on the wells, SO2 etc, its pretty full on, I know........:(

Edited
..
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wellymon Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 7:11pm

Ha ha do you know a bloke Brownie....?

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wellymon Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 7:13pm

Yeah it is shit up there, Ive heard...
Looks different from 9000ft, I'm tripping...Bad visuals, Too high....

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Blowin Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 7:20pm

Hard to get a decent perspective from 9000' for sure.

Great fishing if your keen though Welly, get yourself a boat and go for a look mate.....and throw in a board just in case.

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wellymon Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 7:42pm

Never catch anything, never have, even waves.
I can't swim ...

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Blowin Thursday, 12 Jun 2014 at 8:07pm

Are you almost in the water yet Welly ?

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mothart Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 9:36am

Live in the bight.
Worked on the drill floor in the Cooper basin.
Drive a car & most of my consumables need transport to get here.
Don't want the drilling in the bight in case of disaster, but have to accept it has to be in somebodies backyard.
Do I want all of my oil & gas needs to come from the middle east, so America can go start another war?

Agree blowin, every man (or woman) has there price. Found mine a few years ago, and it wasn't easy to swallow.

Just a question, does anybody know where the liquid waste (not human waste but chemicals) goes for offshore drilling? Cause there is a lot of it. Welly?

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inzider Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 10:19am

where the drill cuttings go depends on what type of mud they use. If it is water based it goes over board.
If it is synthetic based mud they recycle the mud cos it is expensive, they centrifuge then dry the cuttings and take them back to shore for disposal

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udo Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 10:58am

Are Vessells still allowed to dump there liquid waste tanks overboard ? 5 nautical mile limit from shore .....Fitzroy is that correct.....just imagine the daily waste from a full cruise ship dumped overboard,faeces tampons etc.
do offshore rigs dump waste this way or does it go into holding tanks then pumped onto rig tender for disposal onshore ?

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inzider Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 11:02am

in nz on offshore rigs black water( poose and wees ) is taken back to land. other parts of the world its fish food

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Sheepdog Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 11:03am

Hey, Blowin!!!!! Hows the pregnancy going? Sore back yet? Lactating? ;) Hope you are laying off mercury filled fillet of carcharodon with tartare sauce.... Not drinking and smoking I hope... I'll phone docs swear to god!!!!!!! :p
Anyway re' your comments ;" I actually fancy myself as someone that cares for the planet".... and " Sheepy, this is going to sound harsh but... Who gives a fuck about the black rhino ?
I've never seen one , I'm not going to miss them."

In the final years of my dad's life, blowin, I had lots of really good chats with him ( still miss him soooo much).... :(....... I'd often catch him with a forlorn look, staring into the abyss..... "What's wrong dad?" He'd shudder...... "Son, as you get old and frail, all you are left with are your memories".....
I'd say something like "Geez dad, was life that bad? Christ! We had heaps of fun.... Travelled..... I lost count of all the beautiful women you were with" (that'd make him smile, but sadly)..... " Cmon dad, we've got food in the fridge... Your wife loves you.... We love you...."
"I know son..... I know I have lots to be thankful for...... But sometimes I dream..... Sometimes I day dream..... Things hit me and make my stomach turn..... Some of the things I did when I was younger..... For money, for thrills.....The killing...... I can still hear the screams of the pigs...... ( dad never ate pork since his teens when he worked in an abattoir ).... Pigs are smart you know...... Smarter than dogs...... Cutting the throats of the bulls was ok.... But the pigs......"
"Shit, dad"
"And the garbage we used to throw off the boat into port phillip bay...... Clubbing skinrays because they tangled my line.....Then just throwing it back in the water, laughing, drinking...... Killing for no reason....... And the women...... The women I fucked over...... And the dodgy deals, son..... The money I made....."
"Cmon dad...... We all fuck up......"
"i'm just warning you, son...... The lucky ones get alzeimers........... Things come back to haunt you..... Only the self righteous are happy in old age......."

Something in that, blowin...........

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wellymon Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 11:15am

Mothart, I'm not too savvy on this area as I have never worked on drill rigs, but I know since the early 70's and 80's liquid waste management plans have been scrutinized pretty hard as to manage the environmental impact of our oceans.
I'm pretty sure many drill rigs around Australia have to conform to waste management legislations, like the United Nations Convention of the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS, 1982), the International Convention for the Prevention of Pollution from Ships (MARPOL, 1973/78),etc.
I'm not sure if these legislations get followed so hard in countries like Africa and places similar.

There are various processes of managing waste from drilling, similar, I think of how oil gets separated from water and gas on process facilities, then is pumped back into the ocean....? Separators and scrubbers..This is all scrutinized by a chemical engineer on board, who is continually going around the process every day taking samples, that are checked to stringent guidelines.

♦ offshore discharge – fluids and/or cuttings are discharged overbroad from the drilling platform after undergoing treatment by solids control equipment designed to remove solids and recover fluids,

♦ offshore downhole injection –cuttings are ground to fine particle sizes and disposed of, along with entrained fluids, by injection into permeable subsurface formations,

♦ Onshore disposal – cuttings and the associated fluids are collected and transported for treatment if necessary and final disposal.

I'm no expert on this stuff but have gained a little understanding over a few years, as sometimes when sitting in the morning meetings with so many oil and gas acronyms thrown my way it is quite combobulating.

I apologize about this subject but in the end we are all consumers as oil, gas and mines are what make everything right down to our tally bottle top :)

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wellymon Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 11:17am
inzider wrote:

where the drill cuttings go depends on what type of mud they use. If it is water based it goes over board.
If it is synthetic based mud they recycle the mud cos it is expensive, they centrifuge then dry the cuttings and take them back to shore for disposal

There ya go, well said Inzider.

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wellymon Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 11:18am
udo wrote:

Are Vessells still allowed to dump there liquid waste tanks overboard ? 5 nautical mile limit from shore .....Fitzroy is that correct.....just imagine the daily waste from a full cruise ship dumped overboard,faeces tampons etc.
do offshore rigs dump waste this way or does it go into holding tanks then pumped onto rig tender for disposal onshore ?

MARPOL udo!

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Blowin Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 12:38pm

Sheepy , of course I am concerned about extinctions and the plight of the world around us. I was just being a contrarian wanker because ...... well because I'm a contrarian wanker.

Had myself a solid Temet Nosce moment recently when I realised that even though I was getting perfect waves in a beautiful setting I felt as though something was missing. A bit of introspection revealed that the something missing was time away from people and an immersion in a more pristine natural environment.

Cue a return to Australia for some time spent just hanging at remote beaches surfing and fishing for my dinner. I'm definitely at my happiest surrounded by nature and the idea of a world depleted of variety of species makes me sad as fuck.

Back to topic : Chevron at Barrow Island removes all traces of their existence , apart from their 300 hectare gas plant. Rumour has it that the reason the plant was built at Barrow and exposed to the extreme control measures that were greatly responsible for the ridiculous cost of the project when it could have just been built at Onslow alongside Wheatstone and Macedon was so Chevron could refine and display their ability to construct and operate such a facility without impacting on a fragile and remote environment .
As a prelude to operating in another sensitive , remote environment that has so far been closed to commercial exploitation ie Antarctica.

I was present when the question of if this was true was put to Harry Butler , a long time advocate of Chevron and their appointed steward of Barrow. He could not confirm or deny this but stated that if that were true Gorgon would be a very useful argument for any expansion into Antarctica.

This could mean that rigs in the bight are just the tip of the iceberg .....OMG !! I think I just made a pun!

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Sheepdog Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 12:50pm

Cool, blowin....... BTW, are you going for a natural birth, or the knife? :p

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Blowin Friday, 13 Jun 2014 at 1:07pm

Sheepy, the wheels have sort of fallen off that plan. I was up Centrelink the other day and I took a number to wait my turn for some face time with the ever earnest service providers skulking behind the counter.
So after an hour or two of productive time spent watching daytime Soaps with the sound turned down on the TV in the corner and waiting patiently , I've nodded off and when I come too there's a room full of people staring open mouthed at the watermelon I had stuffed up my shirt which has rolled out onto the floor and broken open. So embarrassing.
I guess it's back to the old drawing board now.
I'm thinking of maybe heading down to Woolies and " slipping over " in a nice quiet part of the shop. I heard the frozen goods section often has wet patches on the floor. I'll look into it and get back to you.