Don’t call it a comeback
Udo been eating lunch (super natural meal)and dinner a few bananas for breaky and already putting on weight.im 77kg was 75 two weeks ago.
Been vaping lower mg (mixing half 6mg with half 35mg) ans vaping once every hour or so.No signs of lockjaw or seizures.No
no piss maybe one beer every few days and drinking pepsi max or green tea or instant coffee as soon as i wake up.
Feeling better but still need to give up the vape. surf should be good tomorrow and the next few days next few days on a few days off.
My apartment is currently in plans for a renovation after cyclone Seroja damage where a 40ft by 40ft galvanized corrugated iron reef full of solar panels landed on my back window wall.
The whole wall needs to be replaced its damaged beyond repair and leaks rain.
we also have a plague of mice hitting town so we need 5 mousetraps and rat/mouse poison near the bin.
Other clean houses of my friends have hundreds of mice coming and going as they leave the front door open. Seroja apparently caused the plague.
only once mouse left somewhere in my apartment.
Been shitting twice a day....swimming five or 6 laps every time i jump in the pool which is about 3 times a day but putting on weight on my gut.
I feel much clearer headed not drinking...its been 39- 45'C every day for the last few weeks so cant go on long walks and my pushbike was stolen so cant ride anymore.
Do you think Pepsi max will help me lose weight or is it just as bad as suger filled coke and pepsi?
i drink about 10 cans a day.
no mull, im allergic to it anyway as it messes with my head too much.
My clopixol depot has been reduced to 300mg every four weeks not three to reduce seizures.
Clopixol is really bad for my sex life, havent had a proper shag in 6 years and i had a gf a couple of weeks ago who was always horny trying to take me back to bed but i had to watch 5 episodes of quality kinky porn to get horny....before i could hammer away for hours but now its 15 minutes max then im done and i cant go again a few times like i used to.
hopefully the reduced clopixol will increase my libido but there are hardly any hot single girls in this town, all taken and tinder doesnt work here on a such a small town.But im glad i dont feel like having a girlfriend, most of em have been gold diggers or nymphos who find a new guy every two weeks and inject meth...no thanks.
Well done mate
Stop Vaping - 10 cans of Pepsi max a day ...WTF how about 2 litres + of filtered water
No piss no Pepsi you can soon afford a new bike and Lock
Are you a Male Model...No so stop worrying about your Gut
Healthy and Happy is what your after -
Get your Bloods checked the shit diet you have been on i bet your Vitamin Deficient
Your Doc may help you with those Blue Stiffy Pills
Good Stuff Groundy you wont Know yourself in a Month lots more Energy and after Surf Recovery will be quicker
Keep it up Bro ! .
10 cans a day of Pepsi max?
Jesus christ.
Just drink water.
Squeeze of lemon or lime in it if youre that desperate for flavour
Did you stand up FR? How did the back feel?
describe kinky porn
And 15mins @44 yrs of age aint to Bad !
goofyfoot wrote:describe kinky porn
@groundswell , part of your problem could be too much caffeine from the pepsi which will cause insulin resistance and other problems like how it reacts with cortisol all of this effects your weight. Best you ditch 9 of those cans and drink more water first thing. Ive gone from 3 double coffees a day down to 1 single dose at about midday. Feel much better. Here’s a very short video on cortisol.
Groundswell, you are on the way, keep it up, the crew here have good insights. Agree with substitution of pepsi max for much better water, and reduce/stop the vaping, good luck mate. There are great waves all around you, good time of year is coming.
velocityjohnno wrote:goofyfoot wrote:describe kinky porn
Hahahah too good
Good to hear Groundswell, give up those Pepsi or any other soft drink, well maybe a can every now and then if you want, just full of sugar caffeine and other crap
Also a call out to blue diamond, hope you are all safe with the fires down that way
Drinking the last bottles of my tonic water i used to drink with gin. Thanks fellas looking forward to more surfing this year..even this summer there have been waves at least once a week somewhere nearby.
If its on out the point though ill be on my esky lid, im too rusty to surf super barrelling waves on a shortboard or fish..my desert storms easy to surf but im saving that for bigger days.
Hopefully a few trips to a sick wave north of the river too with a mate..been a few sharks around lately though.
goofyfoot wrote:describe kinky porn
Step sister or interracial is kinky enough for me and usually the best porn available for free.
Cheers Seaslug. Yeah drove right past them yesterday on the way back from waves. Was pretty terrifying to see how devastating they were....super close to the highway when i drove past. Pretty safe over my way for the moment but being super vigilant. Really feel for those affected, i know crew who have properties and homes in that area...still waiting to hear what's left. The big issue is the massive SW blast coming in tomorrow arvo. Everyone's pretty much holding their breath right now. Just had a look from a vantage point on sunset as the last chopper dumped it's water and headed back to base....it does appear to have settled a bit but hard to tell from a distance. Thoughts to all those doing it tough tonight.
Freeride- Had you been doing much whipper snipping prior to hurting your back?
Anyone had a pinched sciatic nerve? Did mine on Sunday. Hideously painful. Weird part is my lower back is fine which sometimes gives me grief but my hip, calf and foot are super sore. Felt like I turned the corner yesterday but maybe over did the stretches. Work and surfing seem impossible right now.
Yeah I was heavy on the brush-cutting beforehand.
Just had MRI this morning and got the number of spine specialist who dealt with Owen Wrights back injury which sidelined him for 2013.
Hoping to avoid the knife.
Can’t disagree with anything Blowin’s put up here. Current fitness levels are blah, but plans are afoot. Just waiting to get through this summer heat.
My main menace is alcohol, gonna have to stare that one down soon enough. Nothing outrageous, just an every night ritual, never day drink, that would be the end of me.
Particularly like the solo surf trip. Got a few places that hit that up nicely. Even a 3 or 4 day trip on your own can be such a grounding experience. Can be a great way to start up the ‘new you’ experience. Just having time where you answer to no-one, live by your own clock and walk lots of sandy beaches when you aren’t actually out there. Not talking much for a few days just leads to a natural mental quiet. (those silence retreats they do in the blue mountains somewhere, can send people bonkers, a bit, but by the end they are all better mentally).
Will keep this in mind for when I get onto the programme. Looking towards second half of March to get started, got a few things in between now and then that make it hard to get started immediately. Good luck all.
Yes OX I had herniated disc 12 months ago. No real back pain but compressed sciatic nerve causing a world of pain. Unfortunately I had surgery (not that I regret it). It often gets better by itself. You may want to consider a cortisone if it doesn't. If your getting muscle weakness I wouldnt wait too long before seeing a specialist. Good luck. For me I found walking the best low risk exercise for the back.
Goodluck Freeride.
Thanks Flow.
how was the recovery from surgery?
Cheers Flow. Yeah walking`s good. Got to keep my foot straight. Wants to turn out due to the compressed nerve.
Its been slow. Takes ages to get strength back. Doing heaps of pushups and pullups. Im back to normal weight. Been surfing a little bit. I got one wave at Maroubra yesterday afternoon in the biggest surf I been in since surgery. Paddled in straight away as I really wasn't going to gain much and I didn't want to get in anyones way. I cant really surf properly yet but gradually getting there. Hardest thing is getting up but its gradually loosening up.
freeride76 wrote:Yeah I was heavy on the brush-cutting beforehand.
Just had MRI this morning and got the number of spine specialist who dealt with Owen Wrights back injury which sidelined him for 2013.
Hoping to avoid the knife.
Shit mate - don’t even think about surgery. You’ve just cooked your back a bit. Eradicate all inflammatory foods such as bread, pasta - all grains , alcohol, dairy. No starchy veggies. No fried crap. Just fresh salads, green veggies and animal protein.
Get back to unprocessed foods and do light exercises such as walking and gentle swimming. Avoid sitting down for extended periods.
You’ll be right soon enough. Surgery is out of the question unless you’ve still got chronic debilitating and unrelenting back issues five years from now.
I’d say you’ve given yourself a bit of an injury for powering on the shipper snipper and your body has become unbalanced around the injury so you’ve hurt something else through other activities. It’ll heal no dramas.
BTW Sciatica will also heal by eliminating ALL inflammatory foods and stretching out your psoas muscle. I’ll post something about this later.
I first hurt my back when I was about twenty lifting a heavy section of pipe. I shift myself thinking I was rooted for life. I saw multiple people about it ( chiro, sports physio , GPs ) and they were all hopeless. The chiro actually said I’d probably have to give up surfing and being a carpenter was no longer an option!
The human body is amazing. Give it the opportunity to fix itself and it will. Surgery is not the answer.
The low level inflammation you constantly endure from shit food isn’t an issue until swelling from a slight injury puts pressure on a nerve and your body’s response is exaggerated by the underlying tendency towards inflammation. Sort your diet out completely. Be dietarily PERFECT for just a few days and the inflammation will cease. The pressure will be removed from the nerve and the relief will be rapid. One day you’ll be crook and the next day you’ll wake up and almost all the pain is gone. A few days after that you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
Avoid anti inflammatory medication. I cooked my guts using ibuprofen a few years ago and it took me a while to figure I out what I’d done.
As above.
I've written about it before, and appreciating that not all back injuries are the same, but in 2016 I was immobilised for four months, within which I sought help from many experts in the field: physio, osteo, chiro, whatever someone who works with kinesiology is called, even ending up in the office of a a neurosurgeon at St Vincents in Darlinghurst.
I had the same condition that ended Joey Johns and Gordon Tallis' careers, and this guy worked on both of them.
Fortunately a chance intervention from a friend saw me change diet (I thought it was good, but with experimentation it got better), and move differently: no extended periods in one position, slow but diligent stretching, learn to ease certain muscles while paddling.
Lot of rest too. Which arguably requires the most discipline, cos you're so aware of what's wrong it sometimes feels like there's no improvement.
Be very interested to hear your thoughts on sciatica Blowin
I'm now on Day 41 of no booze, no inflammatory foods (99% organic and local), as much gentle exercise as I can tolerate.
I keep waiting for that day when I wake up and it's all gone, but disc injuries that are compressing the nerve don't always work like that.
Now, I want specialist advice, from the best of the best.
I want a timeline and a path forwards, hopefully completely naturally.
Haven't got 5 years to wait.
? Work opposite side.
Often short term back pain (pinch) and that weird, "can't even stand straight" feeling that follows can come from a brief pinch or touch of a nerve or sustained poor posture or lifting/ twisting and then the muscles around it massively over react and spasm trying to "protect" the area. The involuntary overreaction is the issue much more than the pinch or any structural problem.
A small disc bulge ( which most of us have even if we don't know it) might just touch a nerve occasionally.
It can be an event with a reason (twist, gardening) but sometimes your back just feels odd and you know a two day cycle is coming.
Slater before the pipe masters said his back "felt out" so he did not surf for two days.
In the spasm mode your body can almost refuse to stand straight and do normal movement and you fear to do so when in reality you can and often should.
Your back might feel like it has lost its structure / stability when it is no different to the day before.
Sometimes quick anti inflammatory meds can stop it in its tracks.
Sometimes you can walk it out - long steady walk and try to do so loose and natural actively pretending all is well. The body starts to realise it is okay after all.
Once you realise the problem is the short term spasm not an injury or something scary it is easier to deal with. Time will fix it (days) as will easing back into normal movement and striving not to follow the spasm down its mistaken path. It is usually protecting nothing but a memory of pain.
You can lessen the frequency of these events by understanding your body and the triggers.
- i would never do jujitsu - twisting would trigger it
- nazare - no thanks
- wipeouts - I always focus on being in a half curl, back in symmetry and avoid twists.
- a day whipper snipping (sustained twisting) etc - no thanks
- careful getting out of bed - no weird fast twist
Lived with this for 30 years now. No progression to being worse. It happens once or twice a year. In the early days more often till I "trained" my body to avoid it.
A colleague has the same thing and he "walks it out". The flow of walking is very good for the back.
Spot on FR. No one wants surgery and you can't wait 5 years. All you can do is get professional advice. Weigh up the pros and cons. Every body is different and in the end it's the individual's choice. Even though I had surgery I wouldn't rush into it. But if you're getting muscle weakness it can deteriorate and IF surgery is the answer you don't want to leave it more than 6 weeks.
stunet wrote:As above.
I've written about it before, and appreciating that not all back injuries are the same, but in 2016 I was immobilised for four months, within which I sought help from many experts in the field: physio, osteo, chiro, whatever someone who works with kinesiology is called, even ending up in the office of a a neurosurgeon at St Vincents in Darlinghurst.
I had the same condition that ended Joey Johns and Gordon Tallis' careers, and this guy worked on both of them.
Fortunately a chance intervention from a friend saw me change diet (I thought it was good, but with experimentation it got better), and move differently: no extended periods in one position, slow but diligent stretching, learn to ease certain muscles while paddling.
Lot of rest too. Which arguably requires the most discipline, cos you're so aware of what's wrong it sometimes feels like there's no improvement.
Stu, I'm very curious to hear more about your diet.
Prior to the injury it was pretty good, we never had sugar in the house, I very rarely eat any kind of dessert, don't have a sweet tooth, however I was getting more incidental sugar than I realised, mainly through bread and pasta. Always figured that because I exercise so much it wouldn't be a problem but I put a halt to it.
Breakfast turned to nuts, oats, fruit, and yoghurt, lunch and dinner was similar but with some meat. Much smaller servings, partly cos I couldn't exercise but it's something I've since carried through to this day.
We don't use much packet food but the things we did buy I spun around and read the white chart on every single item. Got militant about it. 'Ducking into the IGA' turned into a half-hour ordeal. Can't recall exactly, but I think the cut off was 10% carbs and the packet went back on the shelf. Learned to differentiate between fats and indulge in the good ones. Found that reduced cravings for any other kind.
Think I learnt more about the various effects of food in that time than any other period in my life.
Since then, I've relaxed my diet, I'll scarf the odd pie, fish and chips etc, but the basics are pretty much the same: lotta nuts, veges, some fruits, and meats for dinner. If I'm doing lots of exercise - say two or more sessions a day, or big hill climbs on the bike - the serving size goes up and I'll add some bread and pasta.
freeride76 wrote:I'm now on Day 41 of no booze, no inflammatory foods (99% organic and local), as much gentle exercise as I can tolerate.
I keep waiting for that day when I wake up and it's all gone, but disc injuries that are compressing the nerve don't always work like that.
Now, I want specialist advice, from the best of the best.
I want a timeline and a path forwards, hopefully completely naturally.
Haven't got 5 years to wait.
May i suggest the book called 'The Back Sufferers Bible by Sarah Keyes'.......explains a lot and worked for me......helps you understand how your back works and how to strengthen it and get it working again
Cheers, Stu. We’ll done.
That’s kind of the programme I’m on at the moment too. Lots of fresh tomatoes, avocados, veg, good meat. Odd slice of good sourdough with honey as a treat.
freeride76 wrote:I'm now on Day 41 of no booze, no inflammatory foods (99% organic and local), as much gentle exercise as I can tolerate.
I keep waiting for that day when I wake up and it's all gone, but disc injuries that are compressing the nerve don't always work like that.
Now, I want specialist advice, from the best of the best.
I want a timeline and a path forwards, hopefully completely naturally.
Haven't got 5 years to wait.
41 days Freeride. Feel sorry for you. Hope you can find a solution somewhere. My daughter is a physio and as some have already said it`s absolute last resort. Good Luck
Stu. Your body may have great healing properties. You've really punished your body and seem to bounce back in a speedy fashion.
freeride i cant recommend ice pack to the lower back , 30 mins on then 30 off and repeat , works for me ive had bulging disc issues before and when it flairs up i do that then stretch like a mofo seems to work for me
Re healing quickly, it find it extraordinary how some do and others don't.
I have my health issues - bouts of depression; rapid weight gain; bla bla; more bla bla - but I heal like a bloody super hero. No idea why.
- Fell off a roof a few years ago onto a concrete path (except my head, which hit a sharp rock.): No concussion, bruising which disappeared in a week, nothing. A few months later I met a fella who'd done the same, and he had since gotten divorced, hit the bottle hard, and was in a complete mental state.
- Ruptured disk and nerve pain + two broken ribs from landing on a sharp rock surfing, and I could barely move: surfing a week later.
I wish I could share some good advice, cause 41 days of back nightmares sound awful, but I just don't know what it is. All the best to you guys, and keep sharing stories and advice.
I've always been in that camp IB.
Same weight now as I was at 19, never had long stretches out of the water in 40 years of surfing.
I'm realising now there are levels to back injuries.
tbh, it's not actually a pain issue. I've got a high tolerance for pain and so I'm lucky, I can sleep at night and go about my daily life without too much distress.
It's the functional/motor impairment of the disc impinging on the nerve, leading to muscle weakness and lack of use in my left leg (back leg).
I feel OK, but can't use it properly.
I thought in the first week it was going to be a case of eat clean, do some basic rehab and one day wake up feeling fine.
I'm realising now, it's a bit more serious than that.
Seems to be a similar injury to what Owen Wright suffered in 2012. He spent 10 months out of the water in 2013.
A big problem is trying to come back too early and re-injuring the disc.
Gunna see Doc this morning and see what he reckons about MRI.
Hopefully get it up to specialist on the Goldy who dealt with Owen and other similar injuries.
Blowin wrote:freeride76 wrote:Yeah I was heavy on the brush-cutting beforehand.
Just had MRI this morning and got the number of spine specialist who dealt with Owen Wrights back injury which sidelined him for 2013.
Hoping to avoid the knife.
Shit mate - don’t even think about surgery. You’ve just cooked your back a bit. Eradicate all inflammatory foods such as bread, pasta - all grains , alcohol, dairy. No starchy veggies. No fried crap. Just fresh salads, green veggies and animal protein.
Get back to unprocessed foods and do light exercises such as walking and gentle swimming. Avoid sitting down for extended periods.
You’ll be right soon enough. Surgery is out of the question unless you’ve still got chronic debilitating and unrelenting back issues five years from now.
I’d say you’ve given yourself a bit of an injury for powering on the shipper snipper and your body has become unbalanced around the injury so you’ve hurt something else through other activities. It’ll heal no dramas.
BTW Sciatica will also heal by eliminating ALL inflammatory foods and stretching out your psoas muscle. I’ll post something about this later.
I first hurt my back when I was about twenty lifting a heavy section of pipe. I shift myself thinking I was rooted for life. I saw multiple people about it ( chiro, sports physio , GPs ) and they were all hopeless. The chiro actually said I’d probably have to give up surfing and being a carpenter was no longer an option!
The human body is amazing. Give it the opportunity to fix itself and it will. Surgery is not the answer.
The low level inflammation you constantly endure from shit food isn’t an issue until swelling from a slight injury puts pressure on a nerve and your body’s response is exaggerated by the underlying tendency towards inflammation. Sort your diet out completely. Be dietarily PERFECT for just a few days and the inflammation will cease. The pressure will be removed from the nerve and the relief will be rapid. One day you’ll be crook and the next day you’ll wake up and almost all the pain is gone. A few days after that you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
Avoid anti inflammatory medication. I cooked my guts using ibuprofen a few years ago and it took me a while to figure I out what I’d done.
Good advice Blowin.
You can't beat first hand experience and solutions. When I did two discs 6 years ago my doc gave me Lyrica to sort out the sciatica. It helped but at the time but I didn't realise it was actually an epileptic medication so won't be going down that track again. Same with all other medication like you say - anti inflammatories and codeine/opiod based pain killers - they just fuck your guts up and make you shit bricks for weeks for a bit of short term relief.
Now I just live with it and watch my diet and do low impact excercises and it works. And the flow on effect from that lifestyle for your body and your daily routines like sleeping, energy, etc is just insane.
Got the MRI back.
L5-S1: prominent left posterior lateral disc protrusion compressing the left S1 nerve root within the canal.
Doc recommends the image guided steroid injection to the compressed nerve root to see if it can take the pressure off and give a chance at healing.
Lunch (wanker alert) chunk of fresh juvey GT caught off the rocks. Fresh picked rocket/lettuce salad with herbs, drizzled with organic extra virgin olive oil and organic hemp seed oil.
Few slices of organic Cudgen sweet potato.
Topped with organic (wakame) sauerkraut.
Mint green tea for bevy.
Anyone had the lumbar (steroid) needle?
Never would have pictured you using the word drizzled ;)
Seriously though great to hear you’ve got something of a starting point for sorting out your back.
Yes FR. Had cortisone injection. First time was 20 years ago for my right buttock pain. It worked a treat. I also had one last year for my L5 S1 area but on the left side.This time it didn't work. This herniation was bigger and I had strong electrical pain all the way to my feet. I could walk quite well immediately after the injection (no pain) however it only lasted a few hours.
You'll soon know if it works. Good luck
Needle to the spine ?
No thanks.
Hope you get better regardless mate.
It would ge great if that lunch cured your pain but I'm putting my money on the cortisone. It helps by reducing inflammation as well as reduce chemical irritation to the nerve.
Freeride76, lunch sounds wonderful, lumbar (steroid) needle not
flow wrote:Yes FR. Had cortisone injection. First time was 20 years ago for my right buttock pain. It worked a treat. I also had one last year for my L5 S1 area but on the left side.This time it didn't work. This herniation was bigger and I had strong electrical pain all the way to my feet. I could walk quite well immediately after the injection (no pain) however it only lasted a few hours.
You'll soon know if it works. Good luck
Is that pretty much the determining factor Flow, as you understand it?
ie if the herniation is too big the steroid injection won't reduce it enough to stop the nerve compression?
appreciate the experience, it helps ask questions.
GP has been pretty hopeless.
Blowin wrote:Needle to the spine ?
No thanks.
Hope you get better regardless mate.
I know I walked out of there and said "yeah, nah"
Got home and my wife said "wtf go get the needle".
A broken leg will eventually heal itself, but no one does that.
I could sit around with reduced quality of life trying to heal or give this a go.
pretty sure it can't make it worse.
Maybe.
Humans have been fixing broken legs for 35,000 years
Anyway….good luck.
Yes. FR. Some herniation are worse than others. The mild case I had 20 years ago (pain only to my buttock) was successfully treated with the cortisone. The one last year (excruciating pain to the foot) only helped for a few hours.
Surfers are athletes.
Chiselled gods with preternatural levels of fitness , effortless ability and aesthetic beauty. Refined instruments of aquatic grace to a man or woman.
Everyone knows this to be incontrovertibly true.
So why are my boardies so tight ?
Unfortunately, the image of the stereotypical surfer fails to address the slightly grotesque reality of those wave riders who’ve regrettably misplaced their abdominal muscles under an unsightly layer of pudge. Of course there’s never an acceptable excuse for letting your physique and therefore your health deteriorate, but mitigating factors aren’t too far away for many crew.
Excessive work responsibilities , familial obligations, injury , location, failing motivation , depression and illness are amongst the varied reasons why you’d wake up one day and find the stomach verandah is extending over the tool shed below the belt.
Then there’s the other reasons for losing condition , many of which I’ve explored extensively....love of food or drink , laziness, apathy amongst them. Some crew are all about hedonism and indulgence - admirable traits in moderation- but when you start to realise that your spirit animal is neither the dynamic dolphin nor the potent puma , but is actually more likely to be the golden labrador fixatedly staring at the kitchen from its spot on the lounge , or that your patron is Saint Occhilupo of the Rubbery Girth then you’d best keep an eye on your waistline.
My lifestyle, body type and inclinations find me constantly yo-yoing in weight and fitness. Sometimes I’m lean , strong and capable . Other times I’m chubby , weak and slack. The ceaseless cycle of peak and trough , top and bottom which seems to be my lot in this world.
Right now I’m on the resurgence. A dedicated program to ascend to the lofty heights of my personal mediocrity. As usual I had to bottom out before the turnaround......such is life. As I’ve embarked on this project of renewal I’ve had reason to realise that I’m in no way on my own in this situation and that some crew may not know how to halt their decent into dicreptitude , may not truly realise the pitfalls of not arresting the decline or may just need a bit of inspiration to get up off the floor and rediscover the ability to own their destiny.
So here it is ....Blowin’s guide to exiting the world of the fat bastard.
Your health is the most valuable asset you possess. Being fat or out of shape has repercussions ranging far beyond looking bad in a wetsuit *. Without your health and physicality you are hugely diminished. You cant enjoy activities with your loved ones .You can’t earn a living. You DIE ....which is bad. Being sick or infirm can be hugely expensive.
Surfing is a gift for getting fit. The key to getting stronger is in your hands.
And the best way to get fit in my eyes is to treat it like you would any other issue of overwhelming priority. Do it properly Treat the act like an investment in yourself .
Step 1/ Find a location with a good , consistent wave within easy access from accomodation and go there immediately. It doesn’t have to be the best wave in the world , just somewhere that you can basically surf everyday and for all day if possible. Somewhere you can amass a high wave count and expend a lot of energy day after day , irrespective of time , tide or wind conditions. Sound impossible? It’s not at all when you start looking.
Step 2/ Go there on your own. Sounds boring / sad / lonely , right ? Who gives a fuck .... you’re here to get fit , not go on a bucks party or to laze around gossiping whilst getting back rubs.
Solo means focus and no distractions . It means you aren’t likely to find a beer shoved in your hand at lunch and you won’t be waking up the next day hungover, having to again start from scratch after you’ve decided to reward yourselves following a taxing surf. You want single , bloody-minded purpose. This ain’t meant to be fun , it’s meant to be a second chance before you fall over the edge into the void of the perpetual fatfuck.
And a bit of silence and time for contemplation never hurt anyone.
Step 3/ Make it fun ! Yeah , yeah , I know what I just said , but If you’ve chosen your destination correctly, you’ll be surfing better within days. Weight falls off quickly with the right diet and regular exercise and your resurgent strength, agility and range of motion will increase your surfing ability and therefore your enjoyment of the act. Watch surf movies between sessions. Take this moment to immerse yourself completely in surfing . Do it for your loved ones ....the fitter you are , the healthier you’ll be and your time together will be maximised .
Step 4/ Eat clean . The eating part is hard if you aren’t clued up in healthy eating. Research good eating habits , but it’s basically lots of fruit , veggies , quality protein and as much unprocessed foods as possible. Completely unprocessed is best.
Choice of destination will be influenced by availability of good , fresh , healthy food. Some places have a diet which is inherently healthier.
Step 5/ Don’t drink. Full stop. Alcohol distorts your body well out of proportion of it’s excessive and unnecessary calorific value .It bloats , poisons and ruins for much longer than just the time it takes to piss out of your body. There is a condition known colloquially as Pub Face whereby the cheeks bloat , the jowls sag , the eyes dull and bag whilst the chin seems to breed multiples of itself.
You don’t want to have Pub Face.
Step 5/ Don’t stop moving. Move your body as much as possible. Wake early after a good nights sleep and just .....GO ! Walk to check the surf. Surf . Walk somewhere else . Surf . Climb a hill . Do push-ups . Surf . Walk somewhere else . Do yoga . Run ....you get it ?
From waking to sleeping, just keep moving. Doesn’t have to be flat out all the time , just don’t stop.
Surfs small or shit ? Go out anyway for a paddle . Or swim the lineup. Just keep moving....
Step 6/ Rest and get good sleep. Don’t stress. This surf trip is as much for your loved ones as it is for yourself. You aren’t much good to them fat, broken or unhappy.
Step 7/ Appreciate your opportunity to do this. Appreciation is the key to happiness and happiness is the key to a good life.
A solo surf trip may seem to be too indulgent or expensive to justify to yourself or your family.
Think again. The alternative is to muddle along as you are now , never being able to make headway or gain traction in your good intentions to get fit and strong. This can drag on interminably without conclusion until one day you realise that your vigor is so long gone you wouldn’t even recognise it anymore.
The alternative is much greater medical bills or possible health failure. You think that a couple of weeks living and eating cheap whilst you literally surf your guts out is expensive ? Compare it with the price of a minor surgical process or ( God forbid ) a major , life altering circumstance arising from your poor physical state.
This isn’t an unfair comparison. If you don’t arrest your decline sooner rather than later , you WILL pay the price. Diabetes and heart disease aren’t just things that other people experience.
You probably pay the price of a surf trip each year in private health insurance. Well , here’s a truism : An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
And really, if you’re not putting a monetary value on your health, then you’re looking at a rude awakening down the track to find that it is the most expensive and valuable thing you’ll ever own. Look after it !
Step 8 / Get happy. Whilst it’s true that getting fat is fun , it’s also true that being fat is not fun. Being fit doesn’t just increase your physical health, it also increases your mental health and a strong mind is just as important as a strong body. When you are increasing fitness your moods and self esteem will elevate . You’ll enjoy life more and will probably become a better person for it. Who wants to be around a sad , self-pitying fat fuck ? Your opinion of yourself informs others about how they should treat you. Respect yourself and others are more likely to respect you. This all starts with the basics of health, fitness and vitality.
Ok, that’s enough sermonising . Good luck and get out there. Get fit , get strong , get some good waves and become the man that you picture in your mind instead of a shambling mound .
* Don’t kid yourself. Sucking your stomach in whilst wearing a wetsuit is a fool’s errand which only accentuates your rotundness. No one thinks that the manufacture of a slight void between your pigeon chest and your gunt is anything more than simultaneously sad and hilarious. Just don’t. Relax , let it hang and own it . Best for all involved.