Couldn’t grow a choko vine over a dunny.

seeds wrote:

Where’s Wax24. I’d like his take on all this.
I wonder if he’s got a bag full of US sayings like this.
It’d be interesting to see the septic tank versions.

I like to use and learn Indo slang or saying's, locals love it when i use them at the right times.

My fav is "ada gula, ada semut"

Translated means "Where there is sugar, there is ants" i just like the sound of it and imagery.

I guess its similar in meaning to "where theres smoke there is fire."

Feeding the chooks

Gotta be the only living brain donor

haha.
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

Hope your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down

seeds wrote:

you can't make strawberry jam outta pig shit no matter how much sugar you use

ya cant make pineapple pie outta pig shit without a truck load of sugar.

Go and dip your left eye in hot cockie shit and put your head up a dead bears bum.
Old Bazza new how to deal with the Poms.

Life is a shit sandwich , it sure looks bad but tastes even worse

Captain goodvibes from memory

Not sure if this has been covered yet but “Show us your map of tassie”.

she answers: "coober pedy runway, mate, front and back"

carvin60 wrote:

seeds wrote:

you can't make strawberry jam outta pig shit no matter how much sugar you use

ya cant make pineapple pie outta pig shit without a truck load of sugar.

Can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear

This is top stuff gentleman( and ladies if any here), As an expat living overseas, these colloquialisms bring back so many memories of my life in oz, the characters ,the nights out, the fun times. Thank you all , i now know where the acronym LOL comes from , after reading a few of them I kinda snorted, cheers

Ripper thread.

Itsafugginbewdymate

This happened to me tonight.
Went to the bowlsie with me mate for a schooner of New and a schooner of draught.
Had a yarn and then me mate pulled out a lobbie and went to have a slap on the brickie's laptop.
So I shot through like a Bondi tram and sat in a beer garden with these two blokes and a sheila that I know.
True story.

Any aficionado of the Sport of Kings would agree that a bit of the spirit of Strine died with Jack Styring. When pulling beers eons ago, I’d do my level best to keep the only telly in the joint – high on its perch up in the corner near the front door and perpetually tuned to Sky Channel - turned down as low as possible. But if it was the Hanging Rock picnic races with Jack behind the binoculars, then it’d go up full bore. Everyone would crack up. With Jack, who couldn’t exactly machine gun out a thousand words a minute like a Bruce McAveny, it was more in the warmth of the broad, drawling delivery that made him so hilarious I reckon.

“He’s won-ah by as-ah far as you can-ah kick a jam tin-ah.”
“With its-ah mouth open like-ah mother cod fish-ah calling for its-ah young-ah.”
“Down to the judge-ah the first time-ah and this leader is pulling like a Collins Street-ah dentist-ah.”

Cracker night

Reg Gundies, dick pointers, budgie smugglers

You blokes got Buckley's with me. You'll be chasing tail harder than a greyhound after a mechanical bunny.

But fair dinkum I do root like a jackrabbit when I'm pissed as a fart.

Strewth, yesterday sure was a cunt of a day. But I'm not gunna spit the dummy.

Today'll be chockers with hard yakka with me sparky and chippy mates.

Then this arvo we'll be having a barbie at my place and later in the night the lads will be pissing in the backyard and shagging their sheilas in the back shed like it's the end of the world.

This thread has turned into a dog's breakfast....

An outsider's take on it.

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@blackers , that was great , really must confuse the shit outa new arrivals . Reminds of the classic

Rawer than a greyhounds dinner .

This thread is hillarious.

"He's about as usefull as a screen door on a submarine."

Or my Dads favorite "He's about as useful as tit's on a bull."

fitzroy-21 wrote:

This thread is hillarious.

"He's about as usefull as a screen door on a submarine."

Or my Dads favorite "He's about as useful as tit's on a bull."

Useful as an ashtray on a Harley....

That one's good seeds. Mum uses that a bit.

As well as "oh sugar!" And "he went out the back of beyond" which is QLD specific for going out west in the State

Mates when growing up:
"Can I bum a dart?" when no cigarette on hand

Me; Where are you going Dad?
Dad; To see a man about a dog.
My Sister: Are we getting another dog?
No dog, he's gone to the pub for some peace and quiet :)

And in the west, the term is "over east" - "he's from over east", the problems begin "over east"
And in Tassie it's "mainlanders" and the farmers greet with "how's it goin' old cock?" which I think is from before it became profane more 'old rooster' it used to mean I guess

Whilst I was in the UK many years ago with some crew who had scored some hash I commented 'let's have a chuff and get bent.'
They looked at me weirdly as chuff and bent had a different meaning for those fellas. The one bloke who had spent time in Oz was pissing himself.

seeds wrote:

The question dad would ask if you left the door open.

Were you born in a tent?

Smart arse kid reply:

No, I was born in a hospital with a door that automatically closed.

Deaf as a post

It’s right in front of you ! Are your eyes painted on ?

Are you working hard or hardly working?

Taking coal to Newcastle

He could sell ice to the Eskimos

(probably a different meaning today)

'get stuffed' or 'rack off' gotten a guernsey yet?

Cunny funt.....

Running 'round like a chook with its head cut off.

Aa kids, when someone was in a bad mood, "what's up your bum?"

Reply was often, "barbed wire to keep you out."

Another bad mood poke, "he's in a stir" with the word drawn out like stiirrrr and using hands (thumbs up figuration with one hand grasping the thumb of the other) to mimic a stirring motion. With multiple people you could make a long stirring spoon and really rub it in (worked best directed at a sibling).

When I read that Chelsea L was outed as Facto you could have knocked me over with a feather.

I thought well f*ck me dead, didn't see that one comin'.

I've got a mate who gets on the turps and wants to shag anything that moves and if doesn't move he'll give it a push

We got that one from the old man as kids as well @fitzroy21. There was a mixed bag with him, once he was going to see a man about a horse
or going to get a haircut.

By the way it's a ripper thread Seeds, better than a kick up the arse

seeds wrote:

Blow it out your arse

^ not sure if it’s exclusively Aussie though

Which segues nicely into "you long tall streak of pelican shit / misery".