Doh!
A small fuck up….
Me, to a coworker at Swipeout.. “have a good weekend!”
Coworker: “this my Monday. this you Friday.
Me: Oh!! Yayy!! Umm, Sorry!
a BIG Fuckup….
There have been too many to count.
I remember turning down a tech career in the early 90s, not on principle, but because it woulda interfered with my partying…
I can remember allowing myself more and more disenchantment with my married life. Eventually wholly unable to see that i’d never had it so good…
A life lived without regrets is a life wasted.
If someone never said that… well… someone should’ve.
Or, you know, go the Individualist route and lob stones.
I dunno.
Hey Waxy
Oh My Stars , this is a thread 4 Pop .
Day 1 .
I think I like Roady !
Pop Down wrote:Hey Waxy
Oh My Stars , this is a thread 4 Pop .
Day 1 .
I think I like Roady !
Lord of the Castle ——— Wash your mouth out !!! AW
Shoot Pop.
Thinkin like Roady could be seen as a malady, for sure.
I know i’ve been certain that’s the case.
I think we file that under Small Fuck Ups.
I mean, because, at the nexus, you and Roady and I are indistinguishable.
Big Stuff Up's are In the Eye of the beholder Waxy :) .
Realising the Roadster was Likeable , was a Doh moment .
My Big Stuff ups are Many , according to other Richards , littered all over SN .
Adam 12 has already mentioned me turning Up 1 day late 2 a Human Geography Exam and needing to BS a Doctors Certificate .
At the time of the exam , I was studying Physical Geography .
A-Dubs….. I’M OUT!! (i never woulda stood a chance.)
I don't know what I was thinking but I once bought a vegetarian pasty, I still feel ashamed when I think about it.
Old Dog
That's terrible !
Hang your Head in shame .
I have done the same , but would NEVER admit it , no way !
Veggy 1 minute , Vegan the next .
Sent an email to my boss once telling him that the architect I was dealing with was a fuckwit. I did the old "reply instead of forward" button trick. In the wash up my boss agreed with me and we had a laugh about it.
Went out for dinner with some friends and a few people that I didn’t know. Next day out in the surf I said to old mate “ how long have you been travelling with your mother “ turns out it was his girlfriend not mother . I didn’t know what to say next or where to look .
Never ask a woman how many months pregnant unless you are certain, I found that one out the hard way.
Old dog
How could U ?? !!
I gave the biggest % Tip of my life , in Bali on my recent Tour .
Had my glasses on and not alcohol affected 2 .
To a middle aged waitress " Expecting ? " .
The reply , "fn Oath , a huge fart as bloody bloated as" .
I'm starting to hate this thread .
I have had more time 2 F Up than others .
Ban it .
edit
Just had an MRI .
They put headphones on me to distract from the Itching and Pulsing vibes .
The first song was " I Got 2 Get Out of This Place " .
Thought it a very funny joke until the Radio announcer came on , 104.7 .
Not a good sign !
just been talking with a feller in bali, reminded me of an ubud jaunt:
I was staying down at the raya ubud end, past the kids' soccer ground (seems to be half car park these days?) and went for a walk up monkey forest road to look at the new mega supermarket on the corner of hanoman. Coco's Market?
when I got there I got excited at the variety of weird chip brands and stuff, and decided to take some quirky stuff back for mates... bbg squid twisties, fruitboxes of rambutan and durian fun-drink, that kinda thing.. and came out with three bulging plastic bags of snacks...
I was just starting to slog back down the road with my booty, wondering how to pack it for the trip home, and some guys parked on scooters started pointing and shouting, and of course.. forgot, the entitled forest sanctuary monkeys come at you, they were ripping into my bags and running off with stuff.. couple of them swiped at my leg, long pants but.. only lost a couple of bags of chips, but it was funny, and I was flustered..
a top scooter taxi bloke pulled a couple of plastic bags out, repacked my stuff carefully, and said he'd take me to my digs. lovely guy.
when we got there I whipped out the first note, thought it was about 2 bucks and handed it to him, apologised for it being such a small amount and thanked him deeply. realised 20 mins later that in my fluster I'd given him, not 20,000rp, but 2,000rp..
felt like a right royal western ballbag... (I feel like I have a few of these sort of stories, as a rushed westerner, going 'doh' after the fact..)
Hello base6
I read your wonderful Stuff Up Story with bated breath , fixated on every word as the story built 2 an explosive Climax .
A Rushed Western Ball Bag !
Where's the Punchline , Doh ?
Your Bar is set 2 low 4 a Pop type , 2 pop under .
Common Mr Clean Skin . try harder 2 make a Monkey out of yourself , please :) !
edit
Phew :) 6'y .
working up to it cowboy, haha!
(though I love an everyday story, rather than big vegas style one;
the ones that don't end with 'and that band turned out to be an early version of acdc!!
or 'and that guy turned out to be a young tom curren!!)
It was September 1999 and was in Kenya , Dark Africa .
In the shadow of Kilimanjaro , my ex wife and I , were taken to a remote a Masai Village , after a game drive .
All the Villagers came out and welcomed us with songs of joy .
After being shown inside a Mud hut , we emerged to see a Semi Circle of their beautiful Trinkets etc , laid out in 20 groups , each family had a pile .
How lovely and thinking each piece would be about $US5 , I picked something made by each family , 20 pieces .
The King of the tribe and I , then had to negotiate the exact price and he started with $US 150 for a nice neckless .
F Me I thought !
20c I replied and the Chief was a shocked as I was .
I knew I was in trouble , called over the guide and he said the piece was worth $US 2o+ .
I said , I have fucked Up , here's 100 , whatever you come back with , is fine by me and walked 2 the Truck 2 be greeted by my wife shacking her head .
The guide came back with some lovely pieces that are now gone .
That's as low as I can think of , base6 levelish .
haha, it's wax's 'doh' thread, that seems a good 'un; veggie pasty rating.
(though I dread to think what your wife 'shacking hear head' might mean in PopD world)
make sure you don't turn this into a dark confessional.. surf site.. in pre-summer.. yeww..
Decades ago living in Redcliffe.
After a trip to Toombul music we had acquired a beaut Yamaha amp, speakers surround sound system.
Even had two outdoor speakers for the hot spa that could be isolated via a push button.
Had some fun cranking that that afternoon.
Next day missus at work. Father and son team renovating the house next door as they had been for months.
Someone decides they’d have some private special massage boom boom time by bunging in an old VHS and pressing play. Sound just through the TV. Or so he thought.
Those damn spa speakers!!!
DOH!!!!!!!!!
ps. B6 hopefully some of those savory treats were those oh so good fried fish skin chips.
Top work Seeds.
Humans have devised a gazillion ways 2 try 2 calculate their Exact Biological Age .
From all sorts of Tests , Machines and even counting rings .
The Smartest Guys in the Room laughed , DOH !
The Mayo Clinic said , IF you want 2 know your biological age , just Stand on 1 Foot , with your eyes Closed .
It's so simple Pop has a Home Testing Kit .
Here are the Bars .
The average 50 year old ( the lowest Mayo go ) , biologically speaking , can hold the pose , for 9 seconds .
60 - 7 sec , 70 - 4.5 sen and 80 - 2.6 seconds .
Good luck testing in a clear area .
edit
As a Group , Surfers will do well Standing on 1 ft .
Not because of Balance , but due to Surfing building body mass imho .
PLEASE DO NOT RECEIVE THIS STORY THRU A POLITICAL LENS! IT HAS A POLITICAL BACKROUND, BUT THAT IS JUST THE CHALKBOARD! PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE CHALK. (thanx)
The date is December 1, 1993….
Some backround.
I was a part of a Crew that congregated in a deli round 1530-1600 every day.
Said Crew was filled with software engineers. Man! Those nerds could drink! Cause.. that’s what we did, every afternoon, in said deli….
The owner of said deli was a cat named Sean. Salt of the earth, that guy. He had just started his business, and found himself caught in a trap.
We, every afternoon, spent a good amount of money drinking beer and Whatever Else.
We also got increasingly drunk, every afternoon, and scared away other business.
We’d have been horrified to learn of our impact, if we were sober.
Sean stuck with us, and the love affair ensued.
It was a Known Fact that the bathroom door, in the back, didn’t work, and that a knock was needed.
So. This is where the story veers sharply towards darkness. Darkness, like rodents, is always underfoot. It, like rodents, requires care.
On October 1, 1993, a 13 year old girl was snatched outta her bed and taken. (warm night, she’d left the window open. good neighborhood, no reason to consider….)
Her name is Polly Klaas.
Her body, sexually assaulted, was discovered a ways away nearly two months later.
Tragic, tragic stuff. No words can convey.
December 1, 1993 was the date of her funeral.
Her father, Marc Klaas, was set to speak at the funeral, and, for whatever reason, he picked our deli to go over and rehearse.
Soo… Crew is starting to understand what is under their noses and adjusting Bx appropriate to the reality.
(Please google Marc Klaas.)
Except for me and a coupla loyalists. Ya see, i’d been sacked that afternoon and was drinking the drinks of the Free and Frightened. I’d been having beers bought for me all that afternoon.
I was far more into my own plight than i was Mr. Klaas’s.
He eventually left, and, by then, Crew understood the day was done.
Except for me and a coupla loyalists. The day was still about me.
So, now Senator Diane Feinstein comes in, with her entourage. (read: bodyguards, handlers). She, too, was set to speak at the funeral.
(please google Diane Feinstein)
Now, i have my own personal history with her that i may or may nor ever post about. i dunno.
And What Is It With This Deli??
Anyways, i inevitably needed to pee, (so many beers) and so did.
Senator Feinstein had the same, urgent, human need at that time, and, not knowing that a knock was needed, barged in on me, standing, voiding.
She was ever so sorry and hustled away.
Now, i’m drunk. I’m fired. What’s to lose?
So, on my way back, staggering, to my Stool In The Corner, i stop and loom over Ms. Feinstein.
I say something like, “so where should i mail the blackmail request? lol!?!?”
She responded well enough, i’ve always thought.
Her bodyguards were less amused.
I’ve never been hit so hard. Before or since.
Doh!!
(my recollection of this is tinged with humor, but also with regret because i was at a point in my life where i was unable to be present to THAT reality, too wrapped up, and preferring to elevate Self.)
Long read. apologies.
The good old days Wax, what a tale.
@wax24, another cool little story there Wax, you're like SN's own resident US political insider. You know Newsom, you hung in the bushes with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Diane Fienstein saw your wang "voiding" (I like that term!) More please!!
I'd be interested to hear the Feinstien personal story, was she so enamored by what she saw in that busted door cubicle that she decided she wanted some of that after the bodyguards had done a number on you?
Good thread you started, I'm pretty much a D'oh a day man myself, I fuck up all the time. But to add to this topic I was reminded the other day about one by my brother from our teenage years.
We'd spent a whole weekend rebuilding a trail bike with all his mates, it had been a big job and all hands on deck, come Sunday afternoon we had got it done and the boys are all pinging to take the thing out for fangs around the block, there was only an hour or so light left. The final task, putting on the rear wheel, and a very impatient young Adam12 steps in, grabs a wrench and proceeds to cross thread the bolt onto the rear axle.
"Why won't this go on?" I asked.
"You've fucked it you fucking idiot."
They beat shit out of me.
I've got a million like that, I'll remember some more to post for you Wax.
Hope you are cruising mate, big things happening over there at the moment. Interesting times!
ha, love it adam12, they're the stories I like.. everyday doh's.
(great stuff @wax, love bulletproof kid, drowning armour-chink doh's, too)
A few years ago I was going through some major trauma,
and was simply a mess of jangly nerves. not a good time.
On the drive to work I noticed the check-engine light was on.
I though, fuck, that's the last thing I need, i'll get onto it.
I rang my mechanic, who works from home, he said he'd check it out after work.
I pulled up the hilux, he walked over, smiling, asked what the problem was.
I said, the exclamation-mark light came on this morning, and hasn't turned off.
He looked at the light and at me, and said, that's the handbrake-on light.
I pulled the handbrake off, looked at the light, and said 'ahh, yeh, course it is,
that explains the struggling up hills' (my handbrake wasn't very good)
The look he gave me, haha! He stared at me blankly,
like he'd just found out I make dolls dresses for a living.
He said in an exhale 'fuck me...' and just walked off.
we never spoke of that particular visit again.
Basey looking at Car Lights and Adam 12 screwing things the Wong way .
Adam12 often had trouble getting Things On , or IN .
Basey wears Sun Glasses .
Life was not meant 2 B easy and Stuff Up's are like poo .
Shit happens .
As the Captain Coach of a Premiership winning Team , Pop and mates decided to take Perpetual The Cup on a Tour of Melbourne .
IT visited a Festival Hall concert , carrying Ice and beers .
Went 2 The Chevron as was like a religious challis , with everyone wanting a Taste of it's elixir .
At the end of the Tour , WE decided at 4am that we were hungry and I parked in front of an All Nighter .
While I was ordering I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned round 2 see a nice Policeman was behind me , with His mate .
"Gday , U guys probably need a coffee more than I do ", I said , being friendly and chatty .
No , we don't and you're coming with us .
Unfortunately , I had parked opposite the StKilda Rd Cop Shop at 45 degrees , in a Non 45 degree zone .
Somehow I blew a lowish reading .09999999999 and the nice Judge let me keep the drivers Licence .
We DID Lose The Cup and it lost its Perpetuality 2 .
"we never spoke of that particular visit again."
good one basesix haha
@Adam12….. i am more Gumpian than anything else. Just a really well-meaning, complete fucking idiot that has a gift for proximity.
@Base…. not sure why, but i am pulled to a time when i was learning to drive, on a manual stick shift. In San Francisco.
BROTHER. There are times, stuck at a red light or stop sign, in HILLY sf, that you are face to face with the Flippin Moon!
I decided, once, at 15 hrs of age, to use a taxicab behind me in a hill where MOON IS NOW.
I rolled back into him… Gently, i thought then and stand behind now.
I needed to use him to not roll back, ya see.
I WAS DOING HIM A FAVOR.
A fracas ensued.
I still remember it.
I was a kid.
Now here’s a thread.
We’re all dumb in our charming (and less than charming) ways. I can’t think of a better unifying force than our common shortfalls.
When did ya last fuq up?!
We’re here for ya, cuz we have, too…