The Pipe Pro: Day 5
“Pipeline is for the fucking girls!”
The Pipe Pro: Day 5
It's hard to make sense of a Finals Day like today at Pipeline.
Following pro surfing can feel like an unhealthy co-dependent relationship where you are continually being kicked in the teeth, disrespected, gaslit, and yet still coming back for more. Once a blue moon you witness moments of pure transcendence, where it feels like some deeply satisfying serving of cosmic justice has been delivered.
Mostly that occurred on the women's side of the event, where not only did we see the best two surfers in the Final, but the performances that got them there were of a wholly different dimension to what we'd seen before. So often we don't see the best surfers of an event get to the Final - they get knocked out in a slow heat, or by some act of management. Carissa Moore would fit into that category. There can't be any doubt in this event though that we saw the four most dominant surfers in their respective Finals.
Hard-fought, well-earned - Barron and Caity rejoice (WSL/Bielmann)
Crazy day. If you told me the future Pipe Woman's Champion would be a pint-sized freckle-faced ranga teenager with a potty mouth, I wouldn't believe you.
Likewise, I could not have conceived of a universe where a woman's Semi-Final heat, featuring basically rookies, would shade a Semi-Final featuring John John Florence.
That is what happened and that is the world we are living in.
Not too much point scratching through the details - the WSL was gifted an incredible Finals Day and the girls, at least some of them, put on the best show ever.
The lip just misses Pickles' lid as she slides in late on the Pipe left (WSL/Heff)
The deep irony is this classic day at Pipe now locks in an anti-climax at Trestles. There's simply no way a soft Californian peak can offer the drama and excitement of full-throated Pipe and Backdoor. Not even close. We've got two world champs who were made to look like amateurs in the first comp of the year defending their titles and a contest which has made a mockery of the Final Five day at Trestles.
Molly Picklum owned the day. Best female surfer on the planet right now. Charged big scary Backdoor waves all day. Including in her first QF against Johanne Defay, who looked, like others, like she simply did not want to be in the lineup.
“These are the days we dream of,” said Bettylou Sakura-Johnson after easily disposing of world champ Caz Marks. Only for some. For others, days like these are a wide awake nightmare. Of the eight women's Quarter-Finalists, three wanted a piece of it: Pickles, Caity, and Bettylou. The rest dodged and fidgeted, handed over priority, and pretended to paddle...and that is no disrespect to them. They were there as artifacts of holding heats in toy waves where tuberiding did not matter.
“I respect everyone who wants a part of it," said Caity on the ski after her Finals win, before adding, “and I respect everyone who doesn't want a part of it because it's freaky."
Knees bent like BK, hands leading like Gerry, BLSJ taps a rich vein of Hawaiian stylists (WSL/Jennings)
The climax of The Pickles Show was her Semi with Bettylou. It was hard to resist all the “historical” claims coming from the booth but at a certain point the reality had to be acknowledged: this was the best woman's heat in pro surfing history. The crux of that argument rests on an incident at roughly the halfway mark (my notes are scrambled) of the heat. Bettylou holding a healthy lead after two sick tubes at Backdoor which scored a 7.00 and a 5.87. She held P. An ice blue peak drew up on the reef with an angle favouring the Pipe left - so far a taboo object for women surfers apart from Moana Jones Wong on her toeside rail.
Pickles angled in underneath BLSJ, establishing ownership over the wave and stroked into a wave that had the classic Pipe drop: beyond vertical and concave. She skittered down the face and was in such a deep and perilous position her board cavitated twice as she fought for control at the base of the wave. That placed her deeper into a gigantic Pipe tube, backside. She came out after the spit for a straight 10-point ride, and that was the taboo object smashed. Backside at Pipe, coming in deep behind it for the pigdog, is now a reality for women at Pipe. That is a huge historical barrier overcome.
There were more backside waves ridden by Pickles and BLSJ. It came down to an 8.61 requirement for Bettylou with a Pipe bomb on the horizon. She nailed it on the buzzer. I thought she got the score, judges left her just short and Pickles was into the Final with Caity Simmers.
Imagine being the best, or one of the best in the world, and you can't even get a wave somewhere. That's the sitch Simmers described after her QF win over Tatiana Weston-Webb. Her two Backdoor bombs were the first two rides she has got out there all season according to her account on the glass. Could not catch a wave out there. Could not even turn for a wave without “knocking elbows with people”. From that perspective alone, the Woz has done a massive favour to Women's surfing allowing them to have a shot at the most prestigious barrel on Earth.
There will be no more whining about women wasting waves at Pipeline after today. Any such talk will mark the whiner as a hopelessly out of touch dinosaur. Today marks a new era. Pickles 10, and Bettylou and Caity's Backdoor bombs have ensured that. All three women prepared to go over the top and charge into hectic closeouts over shallow reef. What's possible has been redefined, as has what is now expected. Those who can't will have to face the music. Trestles won't be there forever.
Caity takes the classic Backdoor entry - crossing in from the Pipeline side (WSL/Heff)
The Women's Final was only a slight anti-climax, marred by a rain system that brought a period of kona winds which ruffled faces, clamped barrels, and added gurgle and degrees of difficulty to heaving drops. Pickles got the best wave of the Final - a big throaty Backdoor beast. A wave that realistically, only a tiny percentage of surfers worldwide, male or female, would have attempted let alone made. She got stuck looking for a backup as fatigue and the deteriorating conditions weighed her down. Caitys' slightly better backup was the winning difference but it was her war cry to end the heat which provided the strongest statement. “Pipeline is for the fucking girls!” she cried in a rare moment of exclamation. Then paid humble tribute to Molly as a “Pipe Master”.
As for the Men, Barron Mamiya's Pipe performance has to be judged against a much deeper vein of historical record. The skills and the positioning were absolutely top shelf but it all arrived as if pre-destined. Wherever he was, a perfect wave came to him. He smoked Connor O'Leary with a pair of 9's, throwing away 8's and 7's. Everything was deep and critical and perfectly executed.
The anti-claim: Barron implores the judges to give him two points (WSL/Heff)
He took that into the Final against JJF as the wind finally settled back to a zephyr of easterly trade, caressing the line-up with cats paws.
John just hadn't looked quite right all event. Not that he was bad, it just seemed like he was sailing into some invisible unfavourable breeze. He snuck through against Leo with a last minute wave. He promised adjustments to the clamping Pipe waves which he delivered against Ian Gentil despite the (literal) unfavourable Kona breeze which made waves clamp and section. He will rue the waves he didn't catch today.
He started beautifully against Barron in the Final with a deeply threaded Backdoor drainer.
The fulcrum of the Final came in the opening half when a multiple-waved set approached. Barron forced a takeoff from John, who had priority, then somehow managed to position himself for the latest and deepest of takeoffs, well behind another collapsing section. He claimed to be “baffled” when he emerged seconds later, well after the spit. It had that pre-destined feeling to it, and judges had the easiest of 10-point waves to award. It was an incredible ride and he was not required to garner another score as the ocean went quiet and John battled in vain against the unfavourable headwind he had faced all event.
When you think of all the amazing waves around the world and the fact we put a man on the Moon over fifty years ago, it would seem achievable to create some kind of tour where days like today could happen on the regular. Alas, pro surfing remains the uncrackable nut, the unsplittable atom, impervious to all desires to improve it, which makes those truly rare days when it does all come together even more unforgettable. Joe Turpel called it “magic and poetry and one of the best surfing performances we've seen in surfing history”. He was referring to Pickles, but I found myself agreeing with him, for the first time ever. It fits perfectly as a summation of the day.
// STEVE SHEARER
Comments
Haha you did it, legend! Fantastic stuff FR.
Great write up. So stoked was able to watch it all live for a change.
History in the making with the girls. Unreal stuff!!!
10s all event for you Steve. Can’t wait for Sunset
Legend write up Steve cheers mate ..I’m blown away that a 10 pt tube ride at pipeline only two all events by Molly and Barron wins a fuckn esky ..at a world championship event ..what a joke !!! Even me missus said is there 10grand in the esky !!!! But incredible surfing went down great viewing
Quality waves equals quality surfing equals quality viewing.
Quite simple really.
Agreed with above.
Brilliant. 3rd Yeti of the day goes to FR!!!
Still picking jaw up off the floor after todays action.
one of your best steve- i am misty eyed still thinking about molly’s 10- THAT was a moment
Much appreciation for the contest summaries Freeride.
You’re a class act.
The most important day for women's surfing.
THE WOMEN HAVE ARRIVED!!!
Very happy to watch those performances, read your sublime essay, and share much of the live chat with SN.
What a day.
Good one Freeride, It’s almost like being there. More power to Pickles, Caity and Bettylou.
Cheers FR
I always look forward to your write ups.
Possibly more so than watching the highlights.
Excellant analysis as usual.
Highly reccomend going back and rewatching the womens semi a second time. What is it, 4 hours later. I don't think i've ever rewatched a surfing heat 4 hours after it happened.
And it's almost even better the second time.
MInd blown.
As an epic side note, it was so good to have Australias two hell women, Laura Enever and Flick Palmateer commentating this historic heat.
Their pride and raw emotion are just as epic as the action, considering what they both get up to in the ocean. Joey Turps is in career best form too on this one.
Was definitely a where were you moment.
The last wave was sick. WSL edited the video to cut out the discussion about it. Such a close heat. I think the 7.00 for BettyLou's opening scoring wave was a bit generous. Closer to 6.5. I suppose the judges got it right.
I kind of agree. The judges say they don't do make up scores but..... After they'd given the ten there was no way they were making Molly lose the heat. At least they're no longer spouting 'you can't script this!'
In general this was a great leap forward for women's surfing but the Brissa/Luana quarter was a pretty painful watch. Out too far and not wanting the big ones and not far enough in to get the smaller mint ones. Waiting for that perfect big one with an easy entry that hardly ever comes on a day like this at Pipe. Brissa is a charger but shifty Pipe is a hard lineup. Not at all like Cloudbreak except for it's hollowness.
haha, and Flick and Laura pissing themselves at an irrepressible SoCal surf-rat Pipe winner, freely expressing her joy.. hope the wsl don't try to break her spirit.
Great viewing and a stellar write up again.
Did they end us acknowledging Carissa during the trophy presentation?
Word perfect. Whata great day for the surfers whose income/rep/enthusiasm depends on the tour.
(spot on @southern: "3rd Yeti of the day goes to FR!!!")
Wow, the speed at which you get this out, Steve, is impressive, and the analysis is spot on.
This was a pretty good comp overall, but best woman's performance maybe of all time, absolutely no doubt. So great to see.
As you say, when held up against Trestles what an embarrassment. One of the main problems right now is that the 'best' surfers are not necessarily the 'best' at slothful Trestles. This completed dismantles the concept that professional surfing is competitive. If John John and Jack are unlikely to win at Trestles then what are they competing for? This undermines every contest on the world tour as doing well up to Trestles doesn't mean you have a shot at the world title. You can be 30,000 points ahead and still lose if pedestrian Trestles is not your bag. Each stop on tour just becomes less compelling and less meaningful. This is really sad. The storylines around Fearlipe and Carissa just underscore this. All part of the professional surfing mess we find ourselves in.
Really great points, especially when considering the underlying subconscious lack of motivation that must be there for alot of the best surfers.
Totally agree, what a disaster.
Wow. Good point about Trestles undermining the whole year.
Completely agree. Such an anti-climax.
We need a break away professional slab tour. Season ending at pipe.
That was an amazing day of pro surfing - I think BLSJ 7.0 was over scored that’s why her final ride didn’t come in, I think Pickles won the semi fair and square, but they were both legendary!!! I can’t wait to see MP and BLSJ go at it in Tahiti!!!
Beautiful stuff - the women blew multiple doors down today. It was hard to not get carried away but wow - they fecking sent it.
Steve. Wow. It was important to highlight BettyLou had priority and (passively or unaware of the Lefts) allowed Molly to catch the 10. Afterwards, BettyLou did charge two Lefts, where the first was a very good takeoff but just missed the barrel and the other was the closing wave, which I sense was closer to a 9.00 than the 8.33 given. However, I guess BettyLou's opening 7.00 was scored slightly too high; otherwise Molly's 5.60 was scored slightly low. Still, it was super close therefore the best wave wins! I suppose I'd give Molly 10.0 plus 6.00 and BettyLow 8.8 plus 7.0 so Molly easily won.
Agree completely with your analysis of the scoring.
It could have been a 9 if judging other heats BUT was it within 1-1.5 points of Pickles 10 - I'm not so sure. I also feel the backdoor wave from Pickles just near the end should have easily upped her back up score by a point. End of the day I think the best surfer of the heat got through, and both put on a cracking show.
Yes FrazP, Molly’s backdoor wave was way underscored compared to others that day. I thought a 6 or 6.5 pretty easy, which would have made BLSJ have to get a 9.0+ on her last ride.
In the end, the right result in a great semi. Couldn’t have complained if BLSJ was given it but happy with the result.
Thanks for the write up Steve. I will always look forward to them.
Big day for surfing. Caitlin and Molly blasting the glass ceiling of women surfing.
Simmers' interview where she was talking about how tough it is to get a wave in freesurfs and how scary it was tipping into those waves in her heat made me tear up a bit.
i made my missus watch the post Final interview where Simmers dropped the f-bomb and tried to explain to her what was going on and what had just transpired in the surfing context.
The first interview was all time. Simmers revealed herself to be a very very smart lady.
Never any doubt of that in my mind. Tough, smart cookie.
Take it back to the Dream Tour as before the rearrangement............now the new generation of women are coming thru and finding their feet in waves of consequence its a whole new ball game ....or could be ....also its quite disgraceful how the Wsl treated Carissa in her final pipe contest....but great finals day and great write up. Wsl needs to pull its head out of its back passage because they do have something that is very unique when its done right...we all know that even more so after today.
The zenith of women charging Pipe today was unfortunately balanced by the nadir of Carissa's non-event retirement. Absolutely disgraceful. Shame on the WSL.
Sprout totally agree on that one ..she’s a legend rôle model to millions of girls and got treated like a surfer who missed the mid year cut ..Riss Steph influenced the surfing we saw today..wsl gave her nothing which is disgusting ..she should been calling the final and talking about her career in between waves..that would of made today even more memorable for all ..
true .... unless you bow gracefully before the curtain falls
Great stuff FR. Cheers.
What an epic finish to a pretty controversial Pipe contest.
So stoked for the women.
Incredibly courageous and talented.
Congrats to Caity and Barron!
What a Day...Yew...Beautiful Write up as Always
Freeride Tahiti looks Nice.......... Benjamin Tahiti
The Outsider is Due to Return its been to Long
https://www.swellnet.com/news/swellnet-dispatch/2011/08/22/outsider-seve...
Amazing also, that a hometown hero who scores a 10 in the final, can be overshadowed by an Aussie grom who didn't even win the event.
But jeez that 10 of Barons was one of the craziest things i've ever seen. How on earth did he not get his head taken off by that lip, but somehow managed to generate speed......under it!???? One of the most physics defying rides i've ever seen. Such a deserving winner as was Caity. That Backdoor bomb she got (i think in her semis) was one of a kind.
I'm sure it's a very select club of surfers who've had a wave like that at Backdoor.
Could have been Slater or Dorian parked in that thing.
Fitting comments. A pleasure to read.
“ Following pro surfing can feel like an unhealthy co-dependent relationship where you are continually being kicked in the teeth, disrespected, gaslit, and yet still coming back for more. Once a blue moon you witness moments of pure transcendence, where it feels like some deeply satisfying serving of cosmic justice has been delivered.” 100% percent!!
Watched the post show/closing ceremony and nothing mentioned or any kind of tribute to Carissa. Bit weird isn’t it?
https://9gag.com/gag/aGRpAe0
It is weird and during the commentary on SN, I think Roadkill said they should let Riss present the trophy. That was a killer idea and would have been a class act. Sad how it played out.
First alarm-bells of a dysfunctional workplace/leadership-structure:
are those leaving celebrated or erased and no longer relevant to the desired narrative?
yeh, it was Roady's awesome idea. But alas, presenting, was Joe,
being overseen by a sinister white tub skulking in the background....
(I refer, of course, to the Yeti cooler)
'Riss' iced and diced in the sinister tub! New mystery thriller on Netflix. Ziff loses his cool and goes full Yeti with a cleaver.
Is it possible Carissa asked not to be featured at this comp after the loss? Maybe a lot of emotion going on. She has certainly shown the way for a lot of the women out at Pipe. She's also the only one to be truely F'd by the Trestles final, losing despite a high points lead. At least Fillipe has been points champ before his wins.
Ha, you’re so right basesix. A workplace that doesn’t celebrate those who are leaving, when deserved - not those prats that nobody likes - is a workplace you should consider leaving.
Scores and comps aside, that was awesome to watch the girls fucking send it and just their stoke and joy getting spat out of incredible pipe waves
Best day of competition viewing in a long time.
Both my kids (10 and 12) were glued to the webcast too.. been a while since that last happened.
Some more photos of the gals that wanted it . In the facebook link is about 70 more photos of the day .
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/ewA7bkHtcU7XqKJA/?mibextid=K35XfP
Best women's surfing ever at pipe and waves were perfect at times, just all at the wrong end of the tour season.
that was the exact opposite of an event conducted in a wave pool, using and understanding nature’s power and beauty, local culture celebrated and participating, and some some of the most inspiring surfing ever.
Caity Simmers congratulations! The best post heat interview since Bobby!
What a day…..what an absolute awesome day. And the surf world as one is stoked for the girls sending it at pipe.
Changing of the generations. Will make it even harder to understand just wtf these Gen Z kids are mumbling post heat.
Did I mention what an absolute farking awesome day it’s been?
SN chat was on point and added to the vibe.
Mention also to Baron Mamiya…how he came out of that barrel is still a mystery and will remain one for a while.
Take a bow Molly, Caity and Betty. Your bravery is indisputable.
Congrats to Barron, Congrats to caity. Molly 10!
solid performances from all competitors
many take aways from today
Bars were raised. Barriers broken, Dreams made
The Guard has changed,
Pipe/ Northshore kid wins Pipe Pro!
EPIC BARRON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sharpeye might’ve let the wrong Hawaiian go?
They still have Barrons Profile up on there Site ...
Sharphype
C I is where Barron Belongs!
Some how he has tiered himself to be RVCA and CI 's top guy.
Its funny how it all works out.
i couldn't help but notice a little jbg coming through in Barron
for those who know .
3 girls charged HARD. They are the future of surfing. The ones that didn't need to re-evaluate their careers IMO.
Pickles has saved female pro surfing.
Amazing viewing today. How good is pro-surfing in pumping waves.
Excellent report again, thanks Steve. A pleasure to read after viewing an amazing finals day with those transcending performances you have described so well. Shout out to the judges also, who overall, I think put in one on their best shifts today getting it right. Tough job. Keep up the good work one and all.
Such a good day of surfing. The swellnet live chat is epic too, and thanks for the write up’s Stevo.
Hopefully Sunset goes richter.
Unbelievable. Those women were amazing today.
I reckon BSJ deserved an esky for the backdoor nugget she got in the QF against Caz Marks.
I mean the Woz has been fucking them over and hamstringing them for so long, maybe this will be somewhat of a turning point?
But how does it happen? They got V lucky this time but the combined tour in these event windows, combined with WSL’s incompetence, rarely allow for this type of opportunity.
Imagine if that was what decided the best surfer of that season eh?
Pleasure to read. Pickles clear favourite for Olympic gold. Who's next? Caroline on her frontside?
Caroline gave no indication of being a contender today if it's good Teahupoo.
Vahine would have to be a favourite.
Wow. Impressive.
Pretty sure Caity is 3-0 against Molly H2H and has 3 event wins to Molly's 1. I can see why Steve is rating Molly as the #1 surfer but there is something about Caity. Next gen Carissa v Steph.
A bit of cross chop & heaving lip, no worries!
&list=RDCMUChuLeaTGRcfzo0UjL-2qSbQ&index=10There could have had a lot more makable clean barrels if they had waited for the wind to swing.... &list=RDCMUChuLeaTGRcfzo0UjL-2qSbQ&index=2
&list=RDCMUChuLeaTGRcfzo0UjL-2qSbQ&index=4
Stunet, can you please give shearer a yeti
Steve, I’m interested if JMD’s earlier calls (called off on big day etc.) look any different to you now, in the light of today?
Edit: this is genuine curiosity, not some rank pass-agg
I’m not answering for Steve, but I was also against the calls.
And still am.
Today would have still been finals day but they just wouldn’t have surfed yesterday which was not contestable surf, particularly the early heats.
The earlier calls were still terrible.
Imagine Carissa got a chance to surf yesterday.
Imagine if the female finals were held in cleaner waves like the mens final & after the comp.
Video of Moana barrel after the comp below
WSL needs Carrisa, Steph & Fillipe (or is the tide running out...?)
I hope Fil watched the women at Pipe today. ;)
I wouldn't have backed him over the female finalists this event.
Harden up Fil, ffs.
Cracker day of waves. Cracker day for women’s surfing. A huge step forward. However still only 5/18 who could make it count on a day like today. With Carissa leaving we’re down to 4. I’m sure this will change over the next couple of years. There’s a huge gap in the heavier conditions between those who can and can’t.
How was the overall judging with the new head judge? I didn’t watch enough heats to be able to form an opinion. Might not notice until airs come into contention I guess.
I thought it was good,..granted it was Pipe and turns and airs weren't really a factor in the judging criteria so a fairly simple comp to judge.
Also liked them popping up the heat scores by judge and by waves throughout the heat for a bit of transparency.
Agree fully with all the comments about changing of the guard with Molly etc
But one hopes the old crew who won’t charge will not come back to the top when some venues for rest of year dish up crap waves that encourage turns to the beach .Eg Portugal,small bells like last yr etc
We need pumping Fiji and chopes to sort the girls out from the old ladies,
World Champion Filipe Toledo has never been close to any of the straight-to-the-pool-room, straight incredible photos above. Think about that for a second. Massive respect to these ladies! What skill, what bravery, what a day! Chargers.
Incredible write-ups Steve! I watched the replays of the semis and finals last night, wow, that semi with Pickles and Betty-Lou was incredible!
What a day of surfing for the women, wish I had seen it live.
Wow holy shit Fearlipe out for the season -
https://www.worldsurfleague.com/posts/526030/filipe-toledo-announces-wit...
5’3” and 53 kilos amazing simmers. FR best in show, Barron Mamiya backside tube, and Pickles incredible pipe delivers when it is on. Fil not with us this year hope he surfs a heap of heavy lefts and shows us what he can do next year.
Outstanding FR.
On point with a major shift.
Take a look at that pic of Caity pulling into backdoor! No way, surely it’s a close-out, I’m not going on that thing.
But she did, and she made it, and Molly and BettyLou.
What has happened, girls with names like Molly and BettyLou. When did we go back to the 40’s?
Such a fun day. I gave myself the day off everything. I only do that for epic surfing and The Masters golf.
Really was an historic day. Best wsl day for how many years? Best women’s day ever.
And Barron Mamiya. Trimmed down by eating raw meat I’m assuming. He is a threat to every surfer in any wave of consequence.
its an amazing pick. she looks so small & the wave looks so large (and gnarly)
Theatre of the Gods
There is no Colosseum the equal of Banzai Pipeline - unless you're going to feed some Christians to the Lions.
When they turn and go there is nothing better. Pickles paddling into her perfect ride .. it was a 10 from me before she even got to her feet.
The Best Surfers in the Best Waves
WSL gets it done, haha, don't know how, Huey saved the day.
It's gotta be the final event though, seriously ???
It's a Yeti from me Ben, FR was deep and perfectly balanced
A new generation of professional women surfers have irerefutably emerged. AWESOME to watch - thanks girls.
As an aside, there refreshing behind the mic too. straightforward, unscripted plain english - breath of fresh air - double thanks.
What a writeup FR, great work.
Utube First Comment : Nailed it.
Caity Simmers is single-handedly making me interested in watching competitive surfing again. She is exactly what the tour used to be… free spirited, punk rock, counterculture with interesting individuals who were the furthest thing from “cookie cutter”. And I have no issue saying this… I had zero interest in the women’s tour until she started ripping it. No disrespect to the female surfers who paved the way. It’s just that the progression and balls to the wall attitude in waves of consequence never seemed to be there fully. That’s less a fault of the surfers and more the fault of not giving them the chance in holding the contests at the same break. But some of it seemed like it was a reluctance to go big. I feel like between Caitlin and Molly there isnt that hesitance now. And it’s fun to watch it happen
That clip was awesome. Love the way she spoke….& surfed ofcourse. What a talent & what a fantastic mindset. Inspiring stuff.
Moana after the comp finished...
10
Keen to see that water photographers view of it.
Surfing heavy waves is a commitment; faith in yourself, your shapers boards, mentors or coke..,however,
these heroics havent been popular with the female sponsors... broken boards, blood, bruises, injuries, dont sell lifestyle fashion, etc.
Its so great to see the next generation of women getting sponsored to surf solid waves & having a go. Jodie Cooper would be proud.
https://surfingwalkoffame.com/jodie-cooper/
Agree that Steve does a Classic Wrap of all the Pipe Drama...hands down first rate!
No doubt Pipe makes for dramatic theatre but does it really measure up?
Meaning...we all see what we wanna see & it all too often blurs reality.
eg : Can just as easily run the reverse [Shocking Headline]
If one was judging the event in it's entirety than one reads...
[Grom exhausts 2 weeks + 70 mins to lock in [6.67] combo to claim [$123,000 Prize]
8 billion stop as world freezes...Say wot Grom Chick just got awarded record Payout for not doin' wot!
Yet even that brooding title is well dressed up & don't prepare one for even half the Shock Factor...
Hodad punters left shell shocked by Lazy [6.67] as Grom only needed a [4] to win the whole Planet!
So in wot universe is this...(Right here & right now & all laugh it off!) Don't sweat the little stuff! OMG!
Dose of reality for Dream Tour...
Chix earn way more Equalist : "No thanks...just here for Drama Queen theatre and I go with the flow!"
Feel Free to combo any 2022/23/24 Pipe Finals Day scores!
Sure! Compare best 2/3 years of Pipe Finals scores (vs) 2 most boring Trestles SF / Finals Day Scores.
Judges Verdict : Trestles Semi / Finalists score higher average mixed m/w scores over repeat outings.
Best Avg of 3 year Pipe Finals day Combo falls a tad short of best 2 yr Trestles Finals day Combo Mix.
eg: 2022 GOAT's Big 50 win is next best Pipe Combo year > Rival Finalists lounged [7.83] + [3.17]
Yer accountant would be in jail claiming back $138,620.00 for annual Finals Day Back Up Bloopers!
2024 Men's Finals dream keeper might fool the Taxman...'Wot is this shit...'
'Yer stating WSL R/U is claiming a Posh [8] Men's back up at 2024 Pipe...wasn't born yesterday mate!'
'Wot is the Judges fee on that...!'
Claiming habitual lazy annual Pipe Combos won't poke out yer ELO Bullseye.
eg: Teahupoo is most dramatic wave on tour but also the lowest scoring.
Judged least surfable lowest scoring wave in known universe > Perfect for Olympic Drama Queens!
Tally Ho! Take the leap of Faith...(Who said anything 'bout surfing!) 3/2/1 Orgasmatron!
Land of Make Believe it is! All pray to Huey...(Winner!) Like OMG...New champ lasted all of 3 seconds!
tbb rolls about in 1,000's of deep longest walled barrels that boardriders can't ever slot.
Can slot barrels thru yer leggie loops...Shit! Sorry lowest life-form seacreature...never saw ya in there!
We sea serpents weave and coccoon our own infinite salty barrels...Feel the real deal...Go for it!
Just sayin' luv brewing up barrels but grow tired waitin' weeks + an extra hour for TV to Pipe one out!
Sure! This year had a few more higher scores but when added with any other...always falls flat.
Pipeline runs more Cold than Hot...all feel it & Judges score it well less than perfect.
Not a good place to reward high quality surfing...just ride yer luck...no back up plan needed! (Correct!)
Just saying that's the Judges Verdict over'n'over'n'over...never spits out any different!
Empty Pipe rolls out more dreamscapes...WOTD ever sails by as whole crew screams....Shoulda gone!
WSL Trucks cue for more Skip loads of rubbish back up Pipe scores.
Judging the best Finals day rides from all Semi Finalists & Finalists...Pipe pulls up short.
Also requires weeks of yawning Lay Days & record beach closures to parade these lower surf scores!
Red light Drama Queen mandates record haul of devoted slaves on standby...
Whole WSL shitshow & Surf Industry is held to ransom each year...Will she or won't she blow!
Local Council : Shore Water Events don't rank Pipe Comp highly.
Be amazed if Pretentious Pipe Space Station shuttles 1/24 on Hawaiian Style Surf Stoke Box Tick.
Again...not tbb's rules...this be Equal access Council obligation...beach is for surfing not this VIP caper.
Days are numbered for Beach Bully Pipe Masters...beachcombers say use it or lose it!
https://www.honolulu.gov/rep/site/dpr/rules/Rules_and_Regulations_Govern...
VIP Drama Queen Beach Bullies have worn out their welcome...high time to ride out their dream!
LAW...The Man catches up with The Pipe Master...begone VIP Beach Bums!
tbb is a glass half full realist & wishes Pipeline wasn't always judged as being half empty...
Hate to say we're losin' it people...calling for back up plan to salvage some surf stoke!
Might pay to insure yer Dream Tour!
Just how would WSL Master a Pipe Disaster
WSL booth drums up Unsportsmanlike Reef Sacrifice
WSL suspend Pipe indefinitely as their WSL tour guide reinvents tour
Pipe Master says he can't relate to Mr & Mrs Pipeline
Mandatory Pre Season Pipe Session wipes out all WSL tour Rookies
Merch Masters told to pipe up over Apple grapple after copping wrath over Gath!
Threepeat 15 years of Champions abandon Pipe Comp to ditch WSL Tour
WSL 24 Point Plan [ Seeking a decrepit gender bending hodad to volunteer for alien pipe bash ]
?
Just stating the obvious...
Season opener Goldie used to cop all pre season drama...
Recall Goldie fuelled the Equal CT Pay Drama...
Guess What...
Goldie is now the only tour anchor never to host an equal Pay CT.
Exactly...It's history & none shed a tear...that's the formula!
NSW scored a freebie > Qld Premier pulled the Plug! No more WSL handouts...
Locks in 10 years Goldie Aussies...fuck the Yank Skegz!
Speaking from local knowledge...
All off season gripes, reviews, new rules, merch & and injuries, over-shadow the first tour comp.
Pipe warm up injuries wipe CT/ CS rookies off the tour.
Massive baggage builds each year to now 2024 = 3x 15 years Champs walk out on Pipe!
One of these Champs pays hospital bill for uninsured Pipe Master ring in!
Sure we can wipe all that Pipe Bad luck from our windscreens! Never Happened....Huh!
Goldie is gone...need a new voodoo doll...
Now Pipe shoulders. harbours & delivers all off season bad news to kickstart a new shitshow
Pipe is no longer the Trump card but the new season's voodoo doll!
Judges already pressed to score any decent Pipe back up scores...
Now the Local Govt are knee capping them the same as Goldie Pollies...
Just saying...Latest 5 secs WOTD Claim is not enough to save Majestic Pipe.
Need to actually prove Surf Stoke lifestyle...no longer fake it with blip-vert Hero Claims!
No need to spell out...Champs royal salute is deafening...turn it up & tune in!
or....Just go with the flow...keep banking on next years Pipe to save yer Tour!
Pipeline is Majestic...it's a Classic...All say Aye!
Miracle Worker...
Pushin too hard...