Quotes, Proverbs, Axioms, Maxims, Adages, Sayings, Saws, Pensées, Epithets, Dictums, Aphorisms, Platitudes, Tenets, Mottos...

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factotum started the topic in Wednesday, 13 Mar 2019 at 7:09pm

“Whatever prevents you from doing your work has become your work.” - Albert Camus

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velocityjohnno Friday, 15 Mar 2019 at 9:39am

They 'trust me'.
Dumb fucks.

- attributed to Mark Zuckerberg.

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GuySmiley Friday, 15 Mar 2019 at 1:22pm

That's not my finger and I'm not fooling.

You don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire.

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skull Friday, 15 Mar 2019 at 1:51pm

Its a small world.....but you wouldn't want to paint it.
Stephen Wright

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skull Friday, 15 Mar 2019 at 1:52pm

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

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factotum Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 10:35am

"You don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire."

...and you can't even see the mantelpiece when you're cleaning the chimney.

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Rabbits68 Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 1:42pm

“We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”

Oscar Wilde

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factotum Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 1:55pm

"Seeking happiness at the centre of attention is like looking for sustenance in the middle of a doughnut."

Peter Cook

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factotum Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 3:14pm

Actually, it being St Patrick's Day and all, here's a fave quote from a fave Irish writer, Mr. Brendan Behan:

"There is no situation so dismal that a policeman cannot make it worse."

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 3:22pm

Happy Birthday Dad.

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factotum Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 3:25pm

Grand day for a birthday, Blowin'.

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Blowin Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 4:29pm

Patrick is his name.

Cheers.

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Optimist Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 12:55am

Richie West, one of the best
Blokes you'll ever find
a solid dude, never rude
and an old friend of mine,
he always had a smiling face
full of love and full of grace,
Rest in peace, great shaper and old friend
To all his friends and family
Love from the Optimist.

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eat-your-vegies Sunday, 17 Mar 2019 at 8:30pm

That’s shit news.
The bullets gone.
Rip westie

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factotum Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 4:37pm

"A man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he does not discern any truth either in himself or anywhere around him, and thus falls into disrespect towards himself and others. Not respecting anyone, he ceases to love, and having no love, he gives himself up to passions and coarse pleasures, in order to occupy and amuse himself, and in his vices reaches complete bestiality, and it all comes from lying continually to others and to himself. A man who lies to himself is often the first to take offense. It sometimes feels very good to take offense, doesn't it? And surely he knows that no one has offended him, and that he himself has invented the offense and told lies just for the beauty of it, that he has exaggerated for the sake of effect, that he has picked on a word and made a mountain out of a pea — he knows all of that, and still he is the first to take offense, he likes feeling offended, it gives him great pleasure, and thus he reaches the point of real hostility..."

Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.

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old-dog Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 6:11pm

Never forget you are unique, like everyone else.

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factotum Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 7:17pm

Yes!

Finntim's picture
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Finntim Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 7:41pm

You can't turn shit into strawberry jam.

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factotum Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 7:52pm

Prime Marketer ProMo's new LNP campaign slogan?

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factotum Monday, 18 Mar 2019 at 7:54pm

"Whoopsie, I mean CAN! CAN! Goddammit!"

Prime Marketer ProMo

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factotum Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 11:43am

“When truth is replaced by silence, the silence is a lie.”

Yevgeny Yevtushenko

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Pops Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 12:18pm

{double-post deleted}

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Pops Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 12:17pm

Socrates: "To be is to do."
Sartre: "To do is to be".
Scooby: "Do be do."

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garyg1412 Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 3:27pm

NAAFI
That feeling you get sitting at work 2 days out from your annual Indo trip.
No Ambition And Fuckall Interest

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 3:41pm

Some people think they’re champagne in a tall glass , when they’re actually luke warm piss in a plastic cup.

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factotum Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 5:21pm

One for the ONE NATION voter:

A backpacker is traveling through Australia when it starts to piss down. He decides to wait out the thunderstorm in a nearby Bowlo. The only other person at the bar is an older balding bloke staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Aussie Strine accent:

"You see this bar, mate? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I worked away through the wind and cold, the blazing sun and the flies, but do they call me Blowie the bar builder? No."

He had a gulp, then continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, the heat and the dust, but do they call me Blowie the wall builder? No."

"Do ya see that jetty out there on the bay? I built that jetty with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into the sea-bed so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me Blowie the jetty builder? No."

"But ya fuck one goat..."

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Blowin Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 5:18pm

Cut and paste again.

No one’ll ever accuse you of original work .

Why don’t you try participating in a discussion rather than just passing hollow judgement on those who do have something to say ? Just thought I’d put a word in seeing as how you’ve contributed nothing but little jabs you mistakenly believe are clever.

I’ll leave you to it then.

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factotum Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 5:20pm

Ya fuck one goat, indeed...

An old joke but a classic.

Like you.

Except for the classic bit.

Well, a classic cockwomble perhaps.

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brownie48 Wednesday, 20 Mar 2019 at 5:26pm

What you do speaks so loud I cant hear what you say

You have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason

Thinking is difficult, thats why most people judge

You dont need eyes to see, you need vision

Listen or your tongue will make you deaf

Thought comes before speech

from various native americans

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blindboy Thursday, 21 Mar 2019 at 2:47pm

"In this new reign of multitudes, self-awareness tends to reveal us to ourselves as monsters." Saul Bellow - Herzog

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zenagain Thursday, 21 Mar 2019 at 3:44pm

Whatever you do in life always give 100%. (unless you're donating blood.)

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indo-dreaming Thursday, 21 Mar 2019 at 4:07pm

@Zen Any crazy Japanese ones?

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Thursday, 21 Mar 2019 at 4:24pm

私の早漏は私たち二人を恥ずかしい

Watashi no soro wa watashitachi futari hazukashi.

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spuddyjack Thursday, 21 Mar 2019 at 6:30pm

With the right image, this would make a great surf t-shirt:

"THE GREAT OCEANS ARE THE
SUM TOTAL OF ALL POSSIBILITIES"
- PLATO -

I focus's picture
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I focus Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 8:59am

Never judge a book by its neck tattoo

indo-dreaming's picture
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indo-dreaming Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 10:17am

ha ha....sorry im judging someone that has a neck tattoo.

Neck tattoo= Bad decision maker.

Face tattoo= Even worst descion maker, living for today with no thought for the future.

Tattoos that can be hidden= Much smarter than all the above.

That said I'm a clean skin, and I'm very very happy i didnt get (or have the money at the time) to get all the tattoos i drew up as a grommet or when younger, some that i remember i wanted, that i now don't have to get removed "dolphins in a circle chasing each other, with an eye in the middle" "that little trripy magic mushroom thing on the Tumbleweed sundial single" "and just cliche bad indonesian tattoos, even consider a map of Indonesia once"

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velocityjohnno Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 1:33pm

Cleanskins are the real radicals.

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mattlock Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 1:52pm

"I got memories,don't need a tattoo"-Mike Patton.

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Heck Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 2:25pm

@ ID Kapala=Head & Kelapa=Coconut..... mixed up.

Ha, I used to mix them up too, now I do it on purpose, usually gets a laugh..

‘Aku mau obat, aku punya sakit kalapa’ I want some medicine, I have a sick/sore coconut (head ache) Said while pointing to my head.

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indo-dreaming Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 3:08pm

Ha ha...yeah I've said a few times on purpose now for laughs.

Finntim's picture
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Finntim Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 7:05pm

Dudes with brains eat foods with grains!

batfink's picture
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batfink Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 9:26pm

Less is more.

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Westofthelake Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 10:04pm

"Life is short then you die." - Gene Simmons

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Westofthelake Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 10:06pm

Substance is more important than word count.

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Westofthelake Sunday, 24 Mar 2019 at 10:11pm

"The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next."
From a fortune cookie years ago.

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factotum Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 6:28pm

"Offence is taken, not given."

David Leyonhjelm

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factotum Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 6:49pm

or Lionel Hutz?

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Blowin Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 7:04pm

George Orwell Quotes1 of 116
Threats to freedom of speech, writing and action, though often trivial in isolation, are cumulative in their effect and, unless checked, lead to a general disrespect for the rights of the citizen.

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factotum Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 7:09pm

"Free (hate) speech morphing into fake equivalence bollocks. CHECK."

Anonymous Swellnet commentator

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Blowin Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 7:16pm

If you think what I’ve written is hate speech then that Orwell quote is as relevant as it’s ever been.

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factotum Wednesday, 27 Mar 2019 at 7:38pm

1 Orwell quote down, 115 to go...apparently.