First Surf Back
Regular Swellnet readers might vaguely remember the largely forgettable article written back in October last year – A Non-Surfer’s Surf Trip – where I detailed the weirdness of attending a mates’ surf getaway while recovering from injury and unable to actually ride a wave myself. The article ended on this bravura note: “I’ll give ya the word, though. I’m rehabbing like a demon right now...” which turned out to be not only undignified and boastful, but also largely untrue.
Rehab was a thing, but there was very little demonic about it. Rather, amazing Ashby-based physio Veronica 'Ronnie' Barker (and, no, I’ve never asked her how often she gets the Two Ronnies quip from idiots of a certain age, though I’m tempted every visit) led the way slowly and surely. A solid tear of the Supraspinatus tendon will never really heal, so basically it’s a matter of making everything else about the shoulder as well supported, strengthened, and positioned as possible – so the compromised tendon doesn’t compromise further. And over a space of half a year, ever so gradually, it came good.
Thank God for those hundreds of bodybashes is all I can say.
Royalty-free feelgood imagery courtesy of the author
I was probably ready to surf a month before I actually did venture back out. But the waves have been mostly summertime crapulence, and to be honest, I didn’t have the guts to confront the reality of the shoulder. What if it just snap crackle and popped stroking into a wave and I was back to square one? Should I just have had surgery? Were the last six months a waste of time?
Curiosity won out, of course, so the other day, with a one-foot windswell, a grotty easterly blowing, and a stinking high tide, I hoofed down to the corner in the National Park where only the roos and a mob of Yellowtail Blacks could witness my foray back to this fine pursuit.
It wasn’t really a surf, as such. I’ve seen better waves at St. Kilda, but that wasn’t the point. Could I paddle OK? Tick. Could I catch a wave and ride prone the five or six metres to the beach? Tick. Could I…get to my feet? Not exactly a tick straight away, the first two attempts were like a newborn foal trying and failing to stand – kind of…collapsing off to the side. But third time lucky, stood in the whitewater! Trimmed to the sand and stepped off, proof of concept on the whole rehab thing satisfactorily secured. The sense of relief tempered with the sobering realisation that, given how difficult it was to ride that single wave, had I not worked and exercised moderately hard the last few years, and especially the last six months, I dunno, this injury could have lost surfing to me forever.
With 60 just a few short years off, previously unthinkable concepts such as these start to enter the equation. Framed the right way, though, there’s no better motivator.
Also free, also makes you go 'ooooh'
The surf the next morning was ornery again, so I just walked, exercised, stretched and jumped in for a swim. But one of those occasional midsummer miracles was occurring the whole time. A subtle south-west wind shift was all it took, and in a parallel universe, April or May decided to send a gorgeous Autumn morning forward or back through time and overlay it on this December day. Only two foot, but smooth, gently folding wedges were horseshoeing their way happily into the cove. By the time I was back in the carpark there was only one thing to do: drive home and grab the shooter.
Waves! Surfing!
What a joy it was to wax up and trot down the stairs, board underarm. I floated out through the keyhole with mate Nav who was down for a swim, we chatted for a bit then I headed for the left breaking halfway down to the coffee rock.
Tell ya…those first few waves. I may not have covered myself in performance glory, but, Glory Be! I was surfing again! The water was clear as a bell, all aquas and blues and fizzing whites, under a cloudless indigo sky. A few dolphins turned up. Fun peaks came through, just for me. It was all so wonderful I would not have been surprised if a cartoon bird had landed on my shoulder and whistled sublime, happy melodies.
I’m equal parts horrified and fascinated about what happened next.
I can’t tell you exactly when it occurred, but I’m thinking between 20 and 25 minutes in to the session, some switch in my brain was flicked, one that took me from an almost teary state of bliss and gratitude to…god I can barely stand to type this…
Cranky and annoyed.
Not swear-out-loud cranky: just quietly, mildly pissed off.
A hint of onshore ruffle had settled in, I wasn’t getting my feet in exactly the right spot, the outgoing tide wasn’t doing the wave shape any favours and, bloody hell, here come a few other surfers down the path…
How long I sat there in that graceless state – might have been ten or so minutes – but I’m happy to say I pissed myself laughing at myself when I caught myself out.
Like, seriously, mate? Really? Here you are, washing around in this gorgeous, fizzing zone between the mighty Pacific and a Pandanus-fringed beach, in this luminous pause between two great mysteries (as Richard Rohr memorably wrote about our brief human lives), and you’re, what, actually annoyed right now?
And so, temporarily enlightened, and with the fragile ceasefire between ego and perspective momentarily restored, I caught a whitewater in with a smile on my face.
Fuck me. This surfing caper. Never ceases.
// GRA MURDOCH
(Homepage image Adam Wolfenden)
Comments
Haha nice work Gra! You made the right call by not having surgery! Far too many people tell me if they had their time again they would NOT have had surgery on a torn supra, the body will throw the equivalent of putty (scar tissue) in the hole in your tendon and you will get full function and strength back!
As a stroke recoverer (10 mths ago) I can totally empathise with every bit of your story Gra I just don't have it in me to describe it so succinctly or beautifully....thanks man
Good work mate, may your eyebrows forever remain salty.
Great piece Gra. The next stage of the healing process...
Ha ha! Nicely written.
That's surfing.
FWIW with this run of shit house surf I've gotten back into weightlifting and swimming. One thing that's interesting, to me at least, is how weak my shoulders were when I got back into it. I thought if any part of my body was strong from surfing, it would've been my shoulders. Also when I do surf now, I'm equally surprised how well I'm paddling, given how little I'm doing of it.
Maybe instead of racing back to the surf, strengthen those shoulders, eat your steak and some fish oil! The surfing will take care of itself given the decades of practice.
Wishing you all the best on your recovery.
Nothing like those first surfs back from an injury lay-off.
Nice piece Gra.
I remember the October article Gra and loved this one as well, always enjoy your pieces. Had a reality check convo in the car with some mates the other day, realising in a decade we will be 50s and 60s. Motivator to keep moving, paddle back out and enjoy every day.
That's a very humbling moment , I've been there
Most of my surf buddies now days are senior citizens.
Crikey what happened to the time ....?
It's very sweet if you have come back from a long, possible surf ending injury. Can bring tears of joy. Well done.
Good to hear you're back ( although slightly more wobbly ) Gra. Catch you when you come to Vicco and we'll wobble to the shore at one of the old spots
A great piece which I could totally relate to, although I had surgery on both shoulders as no amount of physio would fix the tears on both of them. Can relate to how much strength has been lost in each shoulder (mind you at 76 it's inevitable) but determined to keep at it.
76? I dips me hat to you Spencie.
I can so relate to that indescibable feeling of returning to the water after an extended break.
To this day, even though it was near 20years ago, I remember what it felt like, all that sensory overload of entering the water, paddling out over clean swell lines, sitting in wait for that first wave. Words cannot descibe that feeling, it is etched into my brain.
Welcome back Gra!
I have been lucky enough to avoid any injury that has kept me out of the water for a significant amount of time however I think I can relate.
My first surf after a Melbourne lockdown is right up there as one of the best I’ve had over 38 years. The very sight of the distant ocean through the gums had me welling up.
Like you, I had a fair bit of rust but it didn’t matter one bit.
It was like being reborn.
Had me smiling from the first para GM.
I've also had Supraspinatus tears, left and right. Didn't get surgery but have been doing strength training ever since (15 yrs). My experience has been as per first post by @Peter Reynolds.
Your story reminded me of my return after 10 mths out of water following ACL reconstruction last year. I'm shamed to say my return was laced with more arrogance and hubris than yours. Rather than a quite first surf, I paddled out to crowded 4-5' 13th Beach. Half way through the paddle out I feared I'd have to return to shore from exhaustion. I persevered, made it out the back only to go over the falls on my first two waves - for first time in 30 years I had to concentrate hard on the popup and panicked that muscle memory had evaporated over the prior 10 months.
As @Juegasiempre opined, muscle memory did indeed eventually kick in. I got the odd good one, my confidence built over the session and I entered a joyous state of celebration similar to what you described. Then things switched. For those unfamiliar with 13th, once in a blue moon a seemingly random peak straight from the pages of a 90's magazine comes straight at you. As anxiety 'OMG, don't fuck this up' clouded my head, I swung, made a reasonable attempt at knifing the drop and as I prepared to pull in my spirits plummeted as I watched Xavier Huxtable drop in and do what I had intended. Unfortunately I'm no JOB and pulled through the back.
To be fair to Xavier, he'd probably seen my earlier attempts and considered me not worthy. Nonetheless, I lack your wisdom and my graceless state lingered somewhat longer than your ten minutes only being amplified a few months later when seeing Xavier's 10 point Nias barrel - all whilst I was putting in the requisite 12 hr shift in a Melb office.
Now where did I put that Voodoo Doll?
Epic!
Welcome back....
Nice one Gra and good to hear you are back in the water!
Great write up and well done on the positive outcome.
I had the supra Op - my surgeon sewed in a donor tendon that joined the two ends back together. I was out for 4 months, the worst part was the right angle brace I had to wear for 6 weeks.
I have had no problems at all since and all the pain is totally gone.
I had the operation because;
A. the supraspinatus never heals by itself, and
B. If its left and deteriorates the next step is full shoulder replacement. Yes, replacement, not reconstruction.
The B scenario means no more surfing for life. I wish you all the best mate and may the "B" scenario never happen to you!
Seems like a pretty common injury can I ask how it happened ?