The Desire
The habits of a lifetime slowly slipping to the side.
The 'early to bed, early to rise and ride' ethos of a lifetime eroding as surely as a shoreline.
The cold of winter doesn’t help. It takes a special set of conditions to justify the jetisioning of warm bed covers in order to tilt coastward in search of waves.
Sleep in, show up late is the new norm.
Wet wetsuits, biting breezes, big bities following mullet and whales. Mental impediments or convenient excuses abound. Wrong swell direction, wrong wind direction, straight banks, or gutter banks, or no banks, all just cover stories for a creeping, worryingly waning desire to actually just go surfing.
After thirty years surfing the same breaks the trap of 'I know that, I’ve surfed that, I can't be arsed going out' is sprung more and more often.
What kind of surfer are you when you stop feeling like going surfing?
Still, the trips to the beach continue, the rhythms of a lifetime take time to rewire and reimagine.
With routine the only real driving force, you trundle to the coast, no real commitment or intent in your actions. None of that desperate, lustful, maddening passion that used to whirl like a gyro inside your guts, that drove you into flat surf, scrappy surf, dangerous surf, any fucking surf, none of it remains.
...or so you thought.
Sunny, clean, fun-sized swell lines bring a Pavlovian response.
Like a stallion that scents the air, the tickling in the back of the nostrils, the head is raised and drawn instinctively towards the furthest headland, the fickle yet locally mythologised land of aquatic milk and honey. The now intoxicating possibility of prospective waves is an impulse too strong to resist. The mind's eye manifesting images of irresistible peaks.
Before, surfing out the front of the carpark felt too far to trudge, now a few kilometres in the foot falcon seems undaunting.
You walk and walk and walk, faster with each step as the headland and its envisioned vistas now dance from imagined possibility into concrete reality.
Left peak, right peak, take your peak. Uncluttered canvases to cavort upon, the joy of the randomness and the magical possibilities of the ocean overwhelming the senses as you wallow in the waves. A hoot and a holler after every ride.
Returning to the shore burnt, burnt out and yet somehow brighter, you start the long march home, comforted by the knowledge that while desire may sometimes diminish, days like today ensure it will never be extinguished.
// DAN DOBBIN
(All photos Craig Brokensha)
Comments
You can’t beat A frame peaks
Just had 3 hrs of A-Frames.
Yes the old guy froth is real!
Nice read Dan.
Ripping Dan
To the foot falcon.
Repost the thread link pic
Seconded.
The conflict is real. Three years of la-niña + covid + career change etc. just makes it that much harder to get to the beach. My new year's resolution was to go surfing at least 25 times this year - not that ambitious you might say, but so far I've managed only six. I still check the forecast nearly every day and watch everyone else getting shacked on the screens, but at what point do I stop calling myself a surfer?
Short answer - never. Not necessarily a practicing surfer, but the quiver's still there in the shed, just waiting for me to wash that layer of dust off in the cold southern ocean.
It's kind of a fitting response, especially considering you name is surf starved
.......
There's ebbs and flows for myself with surfing.
Sounds like a close call with the surfing mid-life crisis.
Lucky you got those sneaky peaks or else you could have ended up with the surfer’s equivalent of the red Mazda convertible, the unbuttoned body shirt and the gold chains……this being a Boyz trip to Urbansurf with a mid length twin under your arm.
The horror.
The horror.
Lol
Great read pity petrol has become so pricey though.
The wax and wane of the froth
I like that.
Well said.
"Sometimes an ember is all we need." ...Bear Grylls
Brilliant.
Great shots.
That booger photo is an absolutely amazing action/nature shot, awesome photo!!
Been there done that! Age, injuries,crowds,more health challenges etc etc are the joys of aging .Managing to still getting in the water if only for an hour & a half B4 the body starts to scream time to go in! Paying the price for surfing twice( it rhymes but in reality it's not nice)! The fact is the fire still burns brightly & to quote Nat, "The church of the open sky"is still my saving grace in this ride we call life! GR8 read & it's comforting to realize that I'm not tjhe only surfer to sometines struggle to keep the mojo alive!
Ive surfed more in the last 15years than I ever have unfortunately the body
has taken a few hits over the last 50years of surfing and when its cold its very
difficult for the early except for a certain reef that only breaks when the universe
lines up. I scan the surf reports and arrange my work around the surf almost
never miss a surf and never miss areal swell im still pumped and excited to surf
even 2ft waves like yesterday and when its really bad I often grab a foamy and
still try to catch a couple of messy ones. Admittedly ive worked since I left school
in shift work so I could surf everyday so the buzz anticipation and excitement is
still shinning bright with me. Father time is definitely catching up though so maybe
because it could come to a complete holt I still froth. Ive live by the motto one swell
you miss is one you never get back.
I never got up early its a waste of time where I surf anyway - morning sickness - better once the offshores settle in plus I love sleep which is a highly underrated pastime. Still get out (4 times this week be 0 next) and have fun but catch way less waves. Onward and downward.
Morning sickness is a wives tail, the best waves I've surfed on the MP have been at dawn. Think of all the times you have thought fuck imagine all the pumping waves that have rolled through overnight un surfed and pumping. Do they just stop at dawn? Arnie said he would never have been successful unless he got up before dawn.
Yeah I agree, it’s not Indo, morning sickness ain’t a thing imo
Still not convinced I'm turning over and going back to sleep until later.
With ya Mem, a gentleman never surfs before 9AM.
Haha, I'm all for a good night's sleep but not while the sun is up. Bet you blokes walk around main streets in summer eating ice cream out of a cone.
Of course, Pistachio my creme of choice in a fresh waffle cone.
No walking Finn, I use my mobility scooter, and mint choc chip if your paying...
Been there done that! Age, injuries,crowds,more health challenges etc etc are the joys of aging .Managing to still getting in the water if only for an hour & a half B4 the body starts to scream time to go in! Paying the price for surfing twice( it rhymes but in reality it's not nice)! The fact is the fire still burns brightly & to quote Nat, "The church of the open sky"is still my saving grace in this ride we call life! GR8 read & it's comforting to realize that I'm not tjhe only surfer to sometines struggle to keep the mojo alive!
Fantastic piece Dan. I’d second the kudos for the photo, really striking.
Can’t really imagine not ‘desiring’ to go surfing. Even if I couldn’t, I’d want to body surf, swim…….hell, play ‘crack the egg’ in the shore break if needs be - I just want to be involved with the ocean.
……….I hope that never changes.
I'll second you Solitude...
Boards are the key, don’t let your ego ruin your stoke, ad length, ad litres, ad width, ad variation, 1 to 5 fins try them all - they have been the key to ever increasing stoke for me…turn then over, buy used or new then sell them if they don’t work
Agreed!!!
Update on the froth richter I see a nice swell with offshores up the Nth coast from about
Thursday so now planning to bolt up the coast for about 5 days living out of my van.
Old dumb and stupid maybe but im going to do it solo.
That’s the way to do it Evo. Food for your soul.
Good for you; tomorrow is not a given. Go get it.
it's all about the flow
and there you go !
My feelings are true to every word you just described , every session is the rebirth of that first wave ridden .
I believe quality of surf leads to dissatisfaction. A controlled, prolonged exposure to progressively improving quality of surf is what you need to lengthen your enjoyable surfing life.
Quality could mean epicness, but also convenience (i.e.crowds, water temp etc.).
For example - move somewhere like the ments for a few years at a younger age and tell me that by the time you hit 40 you'll still enjoy 2-3ft local beachies here in Aus in a 3/2 wettie.
But - taking your time with it, not overdoing it, not living with quality right at your doorstep keeps the fires alive longer.
Once I reached 40 .
Waves of consequence gave little meaning to this surfing life.
Stuff those gnarly tubes/barrels in the 14 to 38 age category.
Its all gravy for me now days
Nothing left to prove.
Lived to tell this tale.
Sometimes its not wave quality
Its time and proximity.
Well said. I bet many of us have met the alcoholic expats, living too long in Indo and have lost their way on too much of a good thing.
The Thing is … you miss the shit days cause you couldn’t be arsed , when the good days do come your is timing shot and you surf like the old fella you are .. a body in motion stays in motion or sleep in fuckers your times done hahahah
Habit and FOMO are easy to confuse with surf stoke.
Without these motivations, half the crowd would disappear overnight.
Some days, not going surfing is a better decision for all.
Nice work Dandob. It’s sure a thing. Winter can be a drag too. For my situation I don’t go the early any more. Too many people frothing who have to get their waves in before work. I can go later, so I do. I don’t surf these parts on weekends, again to let the frothers and weekend warriors to have their go. When you can go mid-week why would you bother with weekend crowds.
Most of my surfing these days is up or down the coast. Can get a quiet bit of action with 2 or 5 others. Sometimes pass up empty breaks because I’m a lot more wary of surfing alone these days.
But filthy brown water I won’t venture into, under most conditions, and there has been too much of that.
When I’m in the Sydney locale it’s body surfing for me through the summer. It keeps you in contact with the water.
As much surf as I have missed or passed up this winter, I found myself going for a body surf yesterday. Too beautiful not to go out, too crowded for the slow number of waves for a surf. Made my connection in a 2 mm spring suit, water is down to quite cold temps even for winter, so it’s not lack of heart. Just too picky for the moment.
I think the local Ecole Internationale must be on holidays at the moment, plenty of French frothers around and those kids have too much energy.
Will be up the coast again soon. Easier to find a nice wave and a small, civil crowd there.
I did notice that till my mid forties it was just a passion. I still had to be out there. Surfed a batch of years without friends who had moved away, that’s a bit of a test of where your commitment lies.
Work, kids, boy they put a dent in things, but maintained a connection through the 50s but with a changed attitude. Enjoy the time out there, take in the surroundings, realise the thrill and the privilege of being able to do that and appreciate it. Number of waves became a secondary consideration, but a good day is a good day. When they come around now they are hugely appreciated.
60 now. Things have changed. The last two years have been pretty crazy and hard to maintain the enthusiasm. Once again the friends have moved to different parts so it’s a lot more surfing with acquaintances, familiar faces, rather than friends. Surfing with friends is the best of all.
The circle will turn again, and I’ll find out where I am.