Sunny Garcia update
The GoFundMe account set up for Sunny Garcia received a fresh top up after Sunny's family, who are operating the account, added new information and a brace of photos.
"A long over due update on Sunny. We are taking one day at a time and celebrating each little triumph. Sunny is a warrior and fighting everyday to get better and stronger."
"He has said a few words and is now in therapy daily- physical, speech and occupational. The family thanks you for your continued support for Sunny as he continues to heal. It’s going to be a marathon not a sprint but we work every day to make sure he is surrounded with love, laughter and ohana."
Sunny was found unconcious at his Oregon home earlier this year. To date, little news has been forthcoming about his medical condition with the family posting messages of hope on the account.
So far $127,348 has been raised of a $150,000 goal, with 1,500 people chipping in.
Comments
Christ that's sad.
jeez never realised it was this bad, will he get back to 100%?
Maybe the WSL could donate their ticket takings from the upcoming pool comp to this worthy cause. Looks like he will need a lot more than $150k.
I would then look forward to seeing Sunny ride his first wave there if and when he recovers...
So sad to see such a fit strong legend going through this here’s hoping he makes a full recovery with plenty of happiness in the future
GET WELL MATE
Does anyone know what he digested to do this to him? That is not good and looks miles from getting back on a board let alone upright.
Tried to hang himself, will likely never recover fully. Sad situation for all involved.
Farken hell, I wasn’t expecting that. His poor family.
I ask this with the utmost respect, would it of been better to let him go if he isn’t going to get any better than this?
Such a fucked situation
I feel so sad. I also respect a mans wish to die. I hope that he can process the shadow that drove him to attempting this, peacefully. For every situation, EVERY situation there is light and darkness. I don't know what the light is to this yet, I'm stuck in the emotional darkness of it.
Been wondering for a while how he’s been going. Harsh, I wish him well. Family is the light.
Much love and prayers for the Garcia family you are all warriors.
No one on here should be surprised, (without looking it up or doing any research) suicide kills A LOT of people in Australia most of them in their "PRIME" yrs. Its a Crazy mad vicious beautifull world of ours.
Fark. We had little to go on but didn't expect this. The worst of it, other than the circumstances that got him to attempt suicide in the first place, is that the poor bloke is in no-mans-land now. Is it known whether he was found hanging and saved but not before the blood supply to the brain had been diverted long enough to cause brain damage? Or had he ingested something prior that did the damage? Poor bugger.
Farken hell, this is what it's come to? Poor poor guy.
It's hard not to feel conflicted by what you think is best for Sunny from here on, though its probably better to keep those thoughts private.
All love, strength and wisdom to his family.
not meaning to be rude or crude but he looks cooked..I know noone wanted him to die but now the poor bastard is fucked for the rest of his life..if it were me I would rather have the plugs pulled than be in his current state.
But I am not a doctor so can you fully recover?
My kids had a kid in their yr, yr 8 at school try to hang himself..his mum found him..he has lost his sight atm and total memory loss from lack of oxygen to the brain..not good..too fuckn young
Crew are summoning Huey for best ever healing waves ~~~^~~~/(`~~~/(C`...[sunny)
The mans a warrior. Sending good vibes to him and his family and friends and hoping his warrior spirit gets him back to his best.
Suicide is shocking. RU ok!!. We have to look after our mates. We all have to listen and watch for signs and help. She will be OK isn't enough. I've known to many people that have done it. Thinking about the subject at 52 I know more people that have committed suicide than natural cases and I live I normal life, work that out.
Oh man thats heavy, he is back, but not back, and may never be back.
Makes you heart ache. :(
In my mind a lot of his friends have already grieved his "death', that is, grieved the loss of Sunny, and may now feel shame and confusion around that. 18 comments in over 24 hours. I'd expect 1800. That may say a lot about our ability to discuss these big issues, or is it shock? Respect for the sick and dead?
Wow , heavy to say the least ! So much respect for Sunny , my best wishes to his supporters and hope he improves in time.
As crazy as it sounds sometimes the "hard" men you know and meet are actually masking deep seated trauma which is nearly impossible to see. Their hard exterior
is their protection from fear and loathing we all contain.
Having met the "black-dog" many times I discussed a way forward with my wife.
I told my wife that if it got super bad , I planned to pack a backpack and walk !
Don't know where (probably south) and did'nt know how long . Walking allowed me to release endorphins , think , think , think and release all the shit in my head .
You can ask someone "are you OK ?" , problem is the "hard man" , will probably say,
"what are ya talking about ! " .
We lost a close mate recently , the "black dog" got him , I told mine to fuck-off and never come back .
Last week one of my best friends brothers decided it was time to leave the planet. Pretty sure his 3 young kids disagreed.
Last week a young talented guy from my mountain club decided it was time to leave the planet. Pretty sure his family disagreed.
Suicide is real and a huge problem in Australia and NZ.
Take time out and ask your mates if you feel something aint right with them.
Could be the difference.
The old "harden up" call is the worst advice ever for people in suffering.
I walk past a memorial at my local point to a guy who was told that when reaching out to his mates. Now they walk past that memorial knowing they failed one of their best mates.
what do you say though, if someone says they are really struggling?
and they are already getting help but things still are black.
I turn that one over in my head a bit. What do you say?
First, I guess you'd hope that talking therapy works as well as they say it does, if not through some psychological means then by the old adage of 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. Maybe you can even put some proportion around the issue?
I also think desert therapy would help. Pack up for a roadtrip if you can spare it. Take them away from their familiar surroundings.
Keen to hear what other people suggest...
I can't say too much without sounding like I'm giving advice or sounding "preachy", so I will share my story:
Two years ago my life was at rock bottom and I was very confused about my emotions. I began attending a weekly "mens group". Three hours of unpacking our emotions and learning about the "shadows" that drive certain behaviours or patterns of behaviour. The processes and methods or "work" that we do there have opened a whole new emotional language and emotional world for me. I have learnt how to identify what it is that is driving a feeling or "charge". I have learnt what it means to be not present. I have learnt about the triggers that cause these. I have learnt how to communicate with my wife and family and friends and foes.
I live for it and leave feeling lighter and more connected with humanity every time I attend.
Watching other men's work I see what makes them tick and how I am very similar or very different to them.
I suspect many men could benefit from the skills available to be used and learnt in such groups, including the suicidal or depressed.
Nothing preachy about it Billie. If it's worked for you then share it. We're all wired similarly.
I think it's a stretch to say that we're all wired similarly - I like to think that the things that have helped me through my ups and downs would help others but I just don't know.
In any case, I'll give my five cents worth.
My way of looking at it is that humans are the product of a whole lot of evolution and the vast majority of this is humans in intimate contact with their senses in the environment.
And this is what has helped me in some pretty dark times and helped me deal with a mild depression and anxiety that comes and goes.
Surfing, bushwalking, free diving, all these things that can keep you grounded and keep you in touch with what is real rather than the shit in your head and the sometimes ridiculous constructs of society.
Sounds trite but it's often worked for me and kept me level with a sense of perspective.
Stuff as basic as getting out of the car after a long day at work and just stopping to smell the breeze, or listen to the wind in the trees, or see what the moon's doing.
For me, that's the real thing and it's never changed.
And thankfully that thought process tends to go hand in hand with a physical lifestyle.
I can't imagine it would work for everyone (though I like to think it might) but it's kept me on the straight and narrow when mates are killing themselves and overdosing on drugs and whatnot.
Someone said something before about just packing a backpack and going for a really long walk.
That's always been my plan B if it all got too much, just start walking.
But if you're in too deep and your energy and will is already gone, or if the commitments of family and kids seem to bind you , this option might be optimistic.
In any case, for me, exercise, connecting with your senses and connecting with nature (without disappearing up your own arse looking for your chakras, which I think can introduce a lot more problems than it solves) is a start.
Stu , actually we are all wired differently..depending on your upbringing and what you have possibly suffered thru child hood , teens etc....some people become very aggressive/violent some just shrivel up into meek introverts .....so it's a big spectrum of possiblities....
https://mhfa.com.au/courses
My workplace offered the Standard course for those interested. I can't recommend it highly enough to everyone who may have the opportunity.
If someone says they are struggling , it usually means they are struggling to stay alive!
So you are hearing a cry for help, which sometimes means , come and talk to me...about anything, but please don't leave me alone with the dark voices in my head!
People who have depression , find that there a certain trigger points that will set of the dark negative voices , so it's kinda a emotional reaction which more often than not will pass , it's just getting thru the dip ...and that's where friends can help......a really bad trigger point when someone else suicides the stats are horrible on how it can be like a domino affect.....
So RUOK , really means you have seen and felt something ,to ask the question , there needs to be a conversation after RUOK , until you can talk around your mate / friend/wife etc....
There are resources out there, guys. If you're already wondering what to say I'd suggest checking them out so you're prepared for the conversation when or if it comes.
http://www.conversationsmatter.com.au/resources-community/someone-thinki...
I had another stilted version of the “ are you ok ?” conversation just this morning with a young fella ( 18 ) that I know who’s mum just died and I’m pretty sure he’s perhaps gay as well , so maybe struggling with that too.
He’s in year 12 now and just doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Barely turns up , on the bongs and the beers. He doesn’t surf and we’ve got zero in common except for reading and the fact I’ve known him for years.
It’s difficult to know how to even start helping properly. How hard do you go in ? He’s got no money, so we’ll take him out for breaky and a coffee to loosen hm up , get him relaxed and give him the opportunity to open up , which he sometimes does to a degree but the ability to help doesn’t seem to be able to go much further than that really.
He knows we are there to help in any way but till he asks for specific needs to be met what can we do ?
He’s not outdoorsy at all which makes most of the things that’d bring solace to myself inappropriate for him.
Feels like I’m just a short term distraction from his issues, not providing any forward momentum. He’s got to find it himself.
Yes Blowin, therapy comes from within the client. Not from advice or judgement.
One of the processes I’ve learnt is wonderful, it’s a Jungian technique I think, it uses archetypes. By unloading the emotions and the data the client then unloads with judgements around that and by doing that: BRINGS THE SHADOW INTO THE LIGHT. In my judgement this is the key to good therapy and help. Bringing the shadow that drives the emotion or behaviour into the light and then deciding what to do with it, rather that have the shadow control the behaviour.
Ok, I’m feeling fear and shame talking about what I have learned on this forum. I just feel I’ve learnt a lot of valuable tools, practical, work tools that I wish I had had 20 years ago, and that I love to share.
just make sure if youre ever worried enough that you involve professionals.
you are there as a friend, not as a professional. what youre doing sounds great, be there to listen and support. but if you feel like something more must be done, try and suggest professional help
the bongs and the beers are signs of self medication to lessen the pain from his Mum's passing...he willl not find it by himself , if he is self medicating, which is probably mostly in the arvo's into the nite so he can sleep in a virtual coma so the dreams and negative thoughts don't haunt the times by himself.
Is there anything you can do......try and get him to be more social ......drop around to his house....does he have school friends/brothers/sisters?
Triggers for thinking about suicide come in every form. For some it can come from something as simple as losing your job, although I'd suggest there was something underlying if it came to that. For others it can be a long, slow, tortuous burn that may or may not culminate in the act. Most attempts fail I have learnt, and often because of half-heartedness.
I have a mate who was on the receiving end of all the newcastle catholic priest pedo ring of the 70's. He and a classmate had to look at each other while this animal raped them both. I've known him since we were 12, when he changed schools after this episode and he was a happy kid then. The lengths that he must of gone to in burying that shit I cant imagine.
Time goes by, married with three kids and then boom, he unloads it on his wife. Bottled up for nigh on 30 years. He starts hinting about being in a dark place but remains vague about the details. He told me more than he told others and then used it against me; shit friend etc. You need a thick skin to truly help but the options are thin on the ground.
That would be ten+ years ago and out of the blue he gets a call to testify in a group action against the church, the marist brothers and this priest in particular and at this stage he tells his good mates what is going on and rationalises that facing him in court will be cathartic and he can move on (despite subsequent divorce, breakdown of relations with his kids then in primary school, and lost job).
Nup. Worst thing he could have done as the genie couldn't go back in the bottle. Cue various attempts to take his life and a level of feeling sorry for himself including obscene levels of drug and alcohol abuse, picking fights with bikies, leb gangs and anything to leverage sympathy.
My point being: he thinks he had a good reason. Everyone who thinks about suicide does. That's why they need help. Five years of therapy later and he's ok but not really ok. We expect to hear some bad news every day ongoing. And freeride69 you're right, there is nothing you can say - but if you don't try then that's a burden to bear as well.
Sunny is in the worst possible place. I only hope he isn't like some stroke victims who are totally with it yet trapped in an unresponsive body. Like an eagle in a cage.
Hey Ronson for what it’s worth your mate probably didn't pick fights etc to leverage sympathy. It might have been his form of self-abuse. He probably started fights he had no chance of winning to get the absolute sh#t smashed out of him so that all that physical pain made him feel better. His mind would have been in a very dark place and the physical pain is better than the mental torture he was going through. I went to Marist Bros Hamilton, and the same sort of f#cked up abuse he went through. A lot of us did, some could eventually deal with it, and some couldn’t. He probably didn't want sympathy, he probably just wanted to escape (from his demons). Ironically after my fifth broken nose I actually started to get pretty good at fighting LOL
agree a 100% , self destruction , to the point of he didn't care anymore about his physical well being .......self esteem all time low , can't look ya self in the mirror....go and find someone or something that will help you self destruct and spiral down into misery until you either take your own life , or put yourself in a position of possible death !
Sunny is in a situation that will be very hard to recover from. Life can be cruel with our mental health tested every day in the social environment that exists in our world today. Less than 200yrs ago we existed by growing & or hunting our own food in order to survive, now life is more about adhering to societies norms in order to fit into an ever increasing complex society that is under pressure from advances in technology, population grow & global conflicts. We are actually more isolated from our families & communities than ever before due to these various influences placed on us in this so called first world society. Some people are deciding to leave this pressure & isolation behind by stepping out of this life which impacts upon family & friends that are left behind to grapple with the aftermath.