Surfboard Wax and You: A Love Story
Frederick Charles Herzog has a lot to answer for.
In the early-70s, Zog was surfing Santa Barbara and looking for a way to stay in the game: to maximise his surf time while paying the bills. The fledging surf industry was the obvious choice. First came boards, then a surf shop, and finally surfboard wax, its formula devised by a chemist friend.
The name they chose was Sex Wax because, according to Zog history, "it was attention-grabbing, absurd, and a great spoof on Madison Avenue's not-so-subtle attempts to use sex to sell a product."
Taking a sledgehammer to covert marketing is good sport. Point out the cunning subtext in seemingly innocent advertising. Turn it on its head. Run with it.
And ran Zog did. Ran like Forrest Gump. Since the first batch was made, Nixon has fallen, Whitlam too, the surf industry has towered and collapsed, yet Sex Wax is still stocked by every surf shop that matters.
But the success came at a price.
The blunt force messaging encouraged others wax makers to follow suit. This is only a theory mind you, I made it up five minutes ago, but how else to explain the catalogue of sexual innuendo gushing forth in the wonderful world of wax?
And if you haven't noticed this trend then allow me to illustrate the point. In no particular order there's...
Wet Beaver - 'Rub it good, get it wet'
Vyagra - 'Use only if you're ready to go hard'
Mrs Palmers
Mrs Palmers Five Daughters
Mrs Palmers Mighty Mounds
Big Pecker's Surf Wax
Seamen's Board Wax - 'Blow it on ya board'
Grab A Handful Surf Wax. Yep, it's shaped like a tit.
Sticky Deck. Sexless name but tits on the wrapper.
Mike Hunt Surf Wax 'Rub Mike Hunt!'
Cheesy Dicks Surf Wax
Sticky Johnson - 'Warm, hard and sticky'
Mother's Milk - 'The best set in the water'
And last of all, the logical evolution of the joke...
Comments
Gotta laugh eh...
all that matters is that it smells of coconut.
you forgot the best wax of all Stu, CREAM.
Dunno if Pagey's Cream qualifies. Too subtle, no gauche tag line either.
Best wax tho'.
got u stu - fortunately im a livelong user of SW!
Palmers all the way
I'm no marketer but the term "full Brazilian " seems to have been ignored, i.e. "there's no hairs on this wax" etc, etc , but it's possibly too politically incorrect and that's why I don't work in marketing.
Wax marketing is possibly the best job in the surf industry, if you get paid.
Surfing doesn't have the best reputation for intellectual aptitude - and these don't do that reputation any favours.
Wonder what names wax would be called if women were responsible? It would have to be organic and good for skin, hair and teeth I'm guessing , anti-ageing?
Up here it'd have to nourish the inner goddess.
Stu you missed the true genius of Sex Wax, it is incompatible with every other wax on the market. Once it is on other waxes just rub it off.
I had no idea about that. So once you've laid down a coast of Sex Wax you've gotta keep buying the same?
Brilliant and cunning.
Great little read Stu, good laugh, I vaguely remember buying some Mike Hunt years ago mabey? . I'm sure most will agree though that for some time now Palmers has been the best . BTW who knows what happened to the great Aussie icon of Australian surfing Survival wax? Now that was some good gear.
The first block of wax i ever got was 'wet dream' surf wax. It was also the last time i bought it, i think it may have gone out of production. Yellow and red label in a plastic cup from memory.
Sex Wax all the way for me and second Blindboy's comment if you put Sex Wax on over Palmers it comes off or barely applies in the first place (due to the hardness of Sex Wax i think). But if you put sex-wax down first, you can throw most other waxes on top of it and they will smudge off, but the sex wax stays on and keeps its bumps
Mr Zogs Sex Wax cross Pacific translation read Dr Zoggz Sex Wax (as in medicino elixir)
I was gifted a cake from Macca in 1976. Still in it's Condom...Bronze with Gold typeface.
My cake was originally sold as 75 grams over 40 yrs on it now weighs a tad under 70 grams.
Sticky situation summons the super Swellnetonian lame brain lineup.
All agree groms preferred field trips to science lessons ....derr !
So why are yank skegz meddling with metrics instead of playing with their sticky 2, 1/2 fl oz.
I was 'almost' tempted to offer up my vintage block as a prize?
So I melt down sex wax this end then press send and it arrives as hot 'n' sticky porno spam.
Get arrested ...As I was only 13 when gifted the Sex-wax. (Reason It's sealed in the pack)
Anyone have Swellnet Fanmail address ?
Sticky Wicket for Basher. (No Ashes pun headline intended) Maybe next time! Winner is ...
Had the old wax on poster just a pair tits hanging up in my shop 1982 .feminist stormed in off the street payed out on me and my worker stu . Change was a comin anyone remember that poster wax on was the brand name shit wax though couldn't, give it away
nicko 74 you know your surfwax !
'70's Gold Coast surfers fav's ... (sample)
SURVIVAL was the most shared Summer cake. A grubby affair meant it was a stayer!
HONEY SURFWAX was the Winter warmer nudged by that Coconut Butter Wax (Anyone?)
These were the first sickly sweet almost edible lines of wax.
Best backup was the Servo (Wavecraft) SURFWAX. @ 75c Also cheapest/best allrounder.
GC Hi-way/ 19th Ave Palm Beach Servo(south) was the grom's SURFWAX Pit stop.
I checked on MetroWax . Could be a surf/turf war on pioneer wax test dummies.
OZ SERVO WAX was sold as metric in '63/64 that's 2 years before OZ Govt' squares sized up!
Makes me wonder if U.S. Skegz were still using floor wax/paraffin blocks at this time?
Shit ! Now another question... Did OZ servo scientists brew up the first cup of Surf Wax?
Consider both OZ/US Skegz shape up as imperialists!
Metro servo recipe would've surely puzzled the skegz.
I reckon the whole gms formula was copied as ratio and presto worldwide metro bars.
Alternative cup sizing could also reflect surfers use of petrochem' resin's metric sizings.
Anyhow! Short on any detail...That's my wax lyrical & I'm sticking to it!
Sexwax is mine for now!
VYAGRA wax if I remember rightly was an enterprise education project by a school in West Oz that went far beyond what was expected.
Then there is FarKing https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5583572fe4b06a943e0e1b89/55835ea9e4b0a7f245eabfcc/558a27a2e4b0a7d87c0c031e/1435117475708/Orange-Single-small.jpg?format=500w ... I got a free block when it was first released way back ... was bloody aweful stuff but they obviously listened to the feedback cause it's still around, not that I use it ... Quick Humps or Cream for me.
classic. how about, some captain good vibes wax............... always sticky, .... well..... so, i've been told. lets bring back the pig........................ track down the pig, he is not dead.
Stomp wax. no sexual inyourendo but excellent wax. Local too (gold coast)
Hey, Mothers Milk Surf Wax is selling all the wax making machinery on Gumtree Australia at the moment on the Gold Coast
Interesting Doz.. wonder if anyone will see any value in the molds in this day and age though? Looks like a very niche audience.
For Sale again
https://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/lennox-head/surfing/mothers-milk-surf-wa...
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Black Wax
https://www.stickyjohnson.com/product/sticky-johnson-deluxe-black-wax/
https://treeswax.com/