In surf mags, the greatest waste of pulp and ink has always been the 'How To' section. Snap like Kelly, turn like Occy, punt like Taj...all of it bollocks, just an excuse to run a sequence of Kelly, Occ, or Taj and leave the punters bewildered. "Put your foot here...turn there...then jump!"

Here's how you really surf like the pros: kneecap the bastards. Send them out on farcical high end equipment, say a printed 3D surfboard, and ask them to perform. Like Mick Fanning here, riding a 3D printed version of one of his boards.

And showing that print may be dead but spin isn't, the Red Bull press release drops some gold.

"Now the futuristic innovation [of 3D priniting] is on the verge of changing professional surfing forever following the successful cloning of Mick Fanning’s 2014 Trestles board."

The board was "two years in the making", had to be printed in ten parts that were glued then glassed together, and it weighs 5.5 kgs, or twice as much as a normal board.

A cumbersome surfboard that makes you surf terrible. Put all the pros on 'em and level the playing field.