Samoa is made up of two of the larger Pacific islands, Upolu and Savai'i. There are far too many small ones to remember, though climate change should soon reduce that burden on our memories. Some people, quite naturally, maintain that anything smaller than New Zealand, or with less majestic surf than Hawaii, should be ignored on the principle that paying attention just encourages them. After all we don't want to end up paying compensation to some atoll surrounded by closeout reefs and barely out of the water at high tide, just because our carbon emissions did in their pig sties. Yet we could still take the time, just now and then, to notice their existence and perhaps to gather some museum standard artefacts. We wouldn't want their culture to disappear just because they have, and the National Gallery would benefit from a wider Polynesian collection.

But Samoa, in comparison to its size, seems to occupy far too small a part in our regional consciousness. There it is half way to Hawaii, lots of arable land, a variety of surfable reefs, a friendly English speaking population, a pleasant climate and beyond the upmarket resorts, not a tourist trap in sight. Even more surprising, the locals seem actually glad to see you, quite genuinely, rather than with that synthetic goodwill encountered at more traditional tourist destinations. Even better, once they have made it clear that you are welcome, band at the airport, that sort of thing, they pretty much ignore you in a cheerful, rather than contemptuous manner.

For the rest there are spectacular waterfalls that actually have liquid water in them all the way to the bottom, rather than the drift of fine spray that usually goes by that name in Australia. There is also a surprising variety of caves and sinkholes where, with a suitable guide, you can test your waterman credentials by swimming from one cave, through a narrow gap to, surprise surprise, another cave. It hardly needs to be said that there is snorkelling, but you've done that before so why bother? Seen one tropical reef seen 'em all and really, does anyone enjoy the taste of rubber?

There are mountains of course, proper big mountains that look like they are still in the process of forcing themselves up along a convergent plate boundary. But they aren't, because the subduction zone is over near Tonga and Samoa is on the plate being subducted, not the over-riding plate. They are volcanic and might have arisen as the Pacific Plate drifted over a hot spot. Or not. The geologists disagree, but earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis ignore their theories and occur anyway.  The 2009 event was something of a geological oddity as tsunamis go, but still killed with all the efficiency of the standard issue. Somewhere around 200. Not that you should worry about that. You are a tourist and therefore invulnerable. Geological events will be conveniently timetabled to avoid inconveniencing you.

Life in the fales goes on pretty much as you imagine it might have a hundred years ago. Yes they are over-whelmingly Christian and no-one can explain why the village church has to be three times bigger than the village school, but why care? You don't have to educate your children there. And though one or two of the Ten Commandments might limit recreational opportunity, the other eight keep you and your belongings safe. Not a bad deal overall. To their credit the missionaries also persuaded them to give up head hunting. Quite an achievement when you consider that Christianity, past and future, frequently engaged in violence that made head hunting seem like the height of civilised dispute resolution, but let's not quibble, active head hunting tends to preclude a relaxing holiday.

The other main religion centres around various forms of rugby, the head hunting instincts not apparently having been entirely eliminated. There are then, lots of excessively healthy, clean living, young lads wandering around with a footy under an arm and considerable pre-steroidal muscle development. They provide something of a contrast with the, quite literal, bulk of the rest of the population. Roughly 80% of the population is overweight but hey, we're 63% and rising ourselves, so not so quick with the fattist remarks thanks!

The surfing has a degree of seriousness that might find many hoping that the swell stays within comfortable bounds. There are some inshore reefs but most are on the outside edges of the fringing reefs, exposed to strong unrefracted swells, well capable of damaging board and body. You need a good guide to even find most of the spots and, if it does get too serious for you, there is the added advantage of watching him get shacked out of his brain. After all sitting in a boat, on a blue ocean, with a warming sun and some serious live action beats the hell out of a Swellnet highlights reel. Like anywhere, in the end it comes down to what you get. The best? Hard to even imagine! Epic and uncrowded. The worst? Well those outer reefs probably never become completely flat. Windy and unenticing? Yeah well that is definitely an option. For an extended period?  Yeah that too.

If Hawaii is saltwater wine and Indonesia is arak on the rocks, Samoa is clean fresh water. It passes through you almost without effect. For all its rural character there is something very domesticated and suburban about it. The social structure exerts a very strong influence and whatever is unique or powerful in Samoan culture sits well below the surface, out of reach, perhaps as it should be, to casual visitors. Yet it is hard to avoid the suspicion that beneath that insular, conformist, church going surface is....an insular conformist church going society, a little Switzerland with its offshore tax haven status well established and its land holding rules to deter unwanted investment. But it's a holiday!  Who cares if Mossack Fonseca have an office in Apia and links to the local business community? The sun is out, the wind is almost offshore, the tide is coming in and a fringe of white water can be seen on the outer reef. Pass that 6'2" over! There is surfing to be done! //blindboy