So apparently Steve Shearer hasn't watched any of Dane Reynolds' videos on Marine Layer showing the best rail-work I've ever seen on video and in person.

"It might be hard to comprehend, but that kind of scrappy, short-period, tradewind pointsurf over sand, whilst looking as ugly as a hatful of monkey arseholes, is actually super fun to surf."

That it is. It's a fun lucky dip!

And I would argue that cooperation is the stronger of the human innate inner sensibilities. Competition, like the relatively new idea of capitalism, generally disregards generosity and those with real strength of character, mind, body and soul.

It is capitalism that has extinguished all the hyperbolic clap trap about Cain and Abel and Nietsche and turned Steve's beloved Surf Competitions into the public relations and mass media and its marketing "art" (read: farce) it's become.

Nothing but a spectacle to mediocrity.

Been watching as much as I can take; which is about 5 minutes worth. It is amazing that these surfers can do all those things that they do.
I'll wait for the final replay.
I think it would be amusing to dub in the recorded commentary from last years Chopes on this pathetically abysmal surf at Snap out of it.
Beats oxycodone!

I haven't watched any, just read these reports. In the words of Rocco Sifredi: "Keep 'em coming!"

"Competitive instincts sublimated into the form of controlled narratives like Pro Surfing at its best can be deeply satisfying to the human soul."

Clarification here: To very SELECT few souls. That's why competitive surfing is failing. The only souls this controlled narrative appeals to is a minuscule amount of regular surfers. The rest of the people watching the contest work in the industry as writers, stock holders, pro surfers and their entourages, etc... Like I said, the house is falling apart because the great secret is out: NO ONE CARES!

If LOTS of souls cared about this "controlled narrative," then these contests wouldn't be dropping like flies. These contests would be releasing their "viewer numbers" through marketing managers. These contests would have sponsorship's clamoring for their attention. If these comps were so successful, they wouldn't be on Fuel TV in Australia, where nearly everyone surfs... it would be prime time Network television like your footy games.

But they aren't, are they?

It's deeply satisfying to YOUR soul Steve. You are the 1%.

So congrats.

Keep writing about the most irrelevant sports competitions that exist.

@b-r

the 'nitch' that surfing comps have will continue to grow with or without your vitriol. Why bother?

I thought I had an 'attitude' at times!

Who was it that hurt you as a child? Did your mother mistreat you?

Most people know my familial history Z-Man. That's not important. I see a doc for all that.

Where do you get this notion that competitive surfing will "continue" to grow.

Do you have proof that it EVER grew? Sure, the webcasts got better, Rabbit built a somewhat legit tour at some legit spots... but who was watching even then? Don't you find it funny that NO ONE has published any viwer numbers for pro surfing competitions except for the marketing teams running the events themselves? And even then, the numbers are tiny.

And even if you could prove competitive pro surfing had ANYTHING to do with the growth of clothing retailers, you certainly have enough proof now that it ain't growing now. Surfing hasn't been cool for a decade now. Competitive surfing was NEVER cool to anyone besides those in the industry anyway.

The average age of the person who tunes into the ASP YouTube channel is 40+ years old.

Not your target demo if you're "growing."

Just burn it all down and let surfing rise again organically. Admit the last three decades were a farce.

Well b-r, I for one like to see the almost any surfing on TV, or the internet.
back when I began surfing we clamored for anything visual about surfing.
back when surf movies were narrated by the likes of - well you may remember.
I grew up with all those people and most of them would be proud of their accomplishments.
surf comps are just a tentacle of the 'Circus' that is life.
Stop being so negative about it and enjoy the short visit on planet earth that you have,

Freeride,

Tell me who has more control: The Surf Industrial complex over its writers, or Rupert Murdoch over Fred? Does Murdoch even know who Fred is?

There is no point to any of your articles Steve.

I think Steve/Outsider was referring to the Winds of Change' Mr Rottmouth.

You know 'those' winds.

I think we'll be hearing from those "winds of change" very shortly, Spleen.

It won't be pretty.

Heyyyy waitaminit... I think this "Freeride" character is using that "irony" thing all the hep kids like Derek Reilly and Chas Smith beat into the ground... two thumbs wayyy up, kiddo!

I'm rather "with it" myself... Now, I don't mean to be a "Downer Dave," but isn't there an toilet stall manager tapping his foot, looking in annoyance at with an upside-down smile on his face?

Think of me every time you squirt that "special" cleanser into the bowl!

Can someone who runs this site speed up the password process? There are "winds of change" waiting to comment...

Steve,

I make my living co-operating with a whole team of people to get things produced. That's what I do. Nothing deep.

And you've questioned my "comprehension" ever since you got your first gig at Surfline. THAT, I find ironic.

Steve,

The red herring you've tossed stinks.

I don’t care if Fred Pawle worked for Hitler himself (or Mick Fanning)… he still published the two most journalistic pieces the insular Surfing World has seen… neither through Rupert Murdoch (STAB Magazine)…

And Brad Melekian wrote the third best.

There is no fourth or fifth, etc…

That’s it.

Your writing, Steve, is just pointless recaps. No different than the ASP release except with a few multi-syllabic words that make you sound smart in Australia.

So if your only point is to rip on Fred because he’s employed by the Murdoch Press, then so be it. The irony is that you are much more controlled than he is… and for less money… just that precious access.

If you don’t think you are being controlled then why have you not asked a single question that couldn’t be published or would get someone genuinely pissed at you? Where are all these “unpublished questions” if they exist? You’ve been to a Billabong, Rip Curl, and Quiksilver event in the last year and never asked anyone from those companies about anything that would make a compelling story.

Not entirely the correct context to use Nietzsche's will to power, it being contingent upon unconscious desires and 'higher' activities/purpose. Competition surfing doesn't and never will fit that scope. Incorrect use notwithstanding, it's pleasing to see a reference - image included - on a surfing website.

My first year of university in the early eighties, I took a semester at an old notion of a thing called the “School of Journalism” thinking I may be a Dan Rather type. Divinely, it wasn’t for me because I flunked typing. For real. Typing was a credit course, and switched to English Literature. In Reporting 101, they had a word for people like Bloomberg, Swellnet, Huffington and their type of “aggregation experts.”

They were politely called “plagiarist hacks” and were subject to legal recourse in the old days. Journalistic organelles and pathological opportunists.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Pro surfing? Pfffttt.

November 2nd 2010. The day the music died.

Ideological Attack dogs?

Bwahahahahahahaaa!! Your delusion knows no bounds Steve.

I'll let Fred destroy that horseshit.

So what, exactly, has Fred Pawle ever written that would be considered the cliched term "ideological attack dog?"

You seem to make this about Fred.

Yet you were the one snitching his material.

Will you ever take responsibility for your failings as an Industry Whore?

Shep,

I'd really like to see you grab the narrative by the balls here. Only one day left to do so. Idea: Ambush interview with the interim ASP head while a stack of Bibles burn in the background.

Or you can just find out what kind coffee Kelly's drinking these days.

Either way you earned you gonzo street cred.

The fact I found myself watching a NASCAR race last night over the first ASP event of the season tells me:

a) I was drunk
b) I was bored
c) The is a serious disconnect between fans of surfing and the current structure
d) All of the above

And you know what Nug? It's even better to watch on the webcast than it is in real life. Something needs to change - pass me a beer.

Seriously Stu / Ben,

Is there an issue right now with you giving out screen names and passwords? (Why do you need that in the first place). Word on the net is that first-time peeps ain't getting their log-ins so they can't comment.

No need to protect Shep any longer. He's a big boy...

Let him face the music.

Rottencramps, u say u want to burn down the ASP & sites such as swellnet.
Did u ask me if u could? No. Guess what mate, I love Swellnet & competition surfing. I love that Kelly & Stu etc can make a buck from surfing. They've got to eat, & this is the way the system works. If u don't like it, lead by example, switch of your phone & go & be a hunter & gatherer.
So u make a buck from your writing huh? How dare u! Beautiful, sacred writing with all it's evolutionary history, & u come along & make a buck out of putting words together in a sentence. U whore!
I want to burn u down because are ruining what I believe writing is all about. I don't care what u think, all that matters is my point of view because I'm right, I'm important, look at me.

Rotty, u tryhard Hitler wanna be, u don't have the perfect vision. U only have yours.
U are a hypocrite.
U make journalism a competition
We all see straight thru u princess. x

@Shoredump,

That's what they said about The Son of Sam, so Nyeeeaahh!

keep it coming SS.

people, rottencramps will NEVER understand whats hap'nen at Snapper this week, or the beauty of those ugly wonky lil' winderz,

it all an alien concept for the 'cramps, a cyber gronk with a gut full of hate.

the concept is FUN, as are the waves, 'cramps wouldn't know, he's never surfed 'em and wouldn't know how.

@Sid,

The best commentator and critic in sports history was blind...

give it up 'cramps,

you'll always be a KOOK on land and in the water.

and you'll never work it out cos you are living life ASS BACKWARDS.

magic stuff, Steve Shearer. pure magic!

DIY

and starting your tome with a quote from Ian and his Blockheads is sweet as it comes, bru.... channeling the legend is well, legend!

Ian Dury, Rest. In. Peace.

"I can't go into detail,.... or finger unfounded fools_...

sidthefish,

spot on.

on 'ya, sir.

I normally don’t bother with forums, but this one is an exception. To set a few things straight:
I emailed Kelly two weeks before the Quik Pro, and asked if he’d agree to a reasonably long interview during the event. He did, and we made a loose arrangement to meet up there. My best chance to conduct the interview was after Kelly’s round-three heat. I waited till the media scrum drifted away and asked Kelly if he’d like to do the interview then. He agreed. Although we were standing in the official post-heat interview area, it should have been obvious to Steve Shearer that this was a one-on-one interview.
Instead, Shearer shoved his video camera in. He also butted in with some questions of his own, which threw the interview off the track I intended to pursue.
Afterwards, Shearer apologised for butting in, and agreed that we should separate the content of the interview – he would use the answers to his questions, and I mine. Shearer didn’t do this. He posted the answers to my questions – benign though they were – on Swellnet the next morning.
At the time, I couldn’t work out why Shearer, who had interviewed Slater at length by himself only the day before, even wanted to interrupt my interview. Then he revealed the reason on his blog: “Just for the pure fun of it.” Thanks for coming, Steve.
Shearer has some funny ideas about how journalism works. Last September, he emailed me asking for story ideas. I didn’t reply, but found his inquiry very strange. If he hates Rupert so much, why email one of Rupert’s employees asking for help?
Shearer loves painting me as a representative of “The Murdoch Press”, as if this suggests I am part of some evil conspiracy. As so many people have already pointed out, the only conspiracy going on here is the product of the age-old synergy between the surf industry and surf mags. Shearer and Swellnet have had ample opportunity to demonstrate they are not part of that, but haven’t. Call me a Murdoch lackey all you like, Steve. You’re only avoiding the issue.
Stu Nettle, who in April 2010 accused me of “gutter journalism” because I’d pointed out the surf media was ignoring the well known drug habits of Andy Irons (who was still alive at the time), is now saying I drink Nescafe and choof ciggies. Where did he get that from? Honestly, both the sport and industry of surfing are imploding, and Swellnet sends not one but two reporters to a contest so one of them can imagine he’s seen me swigging cheap caffeine and smoking durries? Does their employer even know where they are?
Stu tries to suggest I’m a hypocrite for being proud that I’ve never worked for a surf mag, yet have filed stories for mags that are “not exposes or scoops”. Modesty prevents me from making too fine a point of this – I genuinely don’t consider my contribution to surf journalism all that noteworthy. But Stu’s main argument – that submitting freelance stories to surf mags is the same as working for them – is the work of a trainspotter. If this bothers you so much, Stu, why didn’t you bring this up with me when we were standing next to each other?
On a brighter note, I notice someone called Sid is reporting that I have ZERO knowledge about surfing Snapper. Sid, you’re right. Snapper was so crowded while I was there, I drifted down to Greenmount instead, and managed to grab a couple of fat walls. D-bah would have been an even better call. But Snapper? The place sucks.
Anyway, I'd love to spend all day dissecting the least relevant things I learned while I was at the Quik Pro, but there are, um, a couple of more pressing issues at hand.

Sweet as, Steve Shearer,

and you know who is still and forever... a bleeding barney!

thanks frederick for your side of the story.

awww, poor poor Petie wheetie,

can't take it....

it's a competitive world, Peter... and everything counts in large amounts...

oh, and Steve Shearer is living it not only as LARGE as it comes, he's giving us reasons to be cheerful.

on 'em!

Well, there you have it folks.

The ONLY respectable person in surf writing, besides Melekian has spoken. I can't wait for the yeah but's to emerge ONCE AGAIN.

Back to your sandboxes...

And the Roller siding with Shearer over Pawle is... to STEAL from Shearer... Devine Comedy.

Funny who decides what a conspiracy theorist is these days, ain't it Shearer.

Back to the toilets mate... the gig's up.

old what's is name is such a total barney, a bloke so sorry and pilled out, he felt he needed to call up his moldy mates to help him out on the Swellnet.com.au comment sections.

heh.

talk about signs of desperation... his mate Mark from 'da Islands, called 'em out as a total B.A.R.N.E.Y!

knock us NOT of Hollywood, but those who actually surf, down with an oldie, moldie feather!

This morning, I get up a little late with a mild hang over from the NyQuil and Tito’s Vodka last night. I shower and make the kid's lunch while Mrs. Rottmouth dresses for a presentation up in Santa Monica.

I make some toast and stare out the window for a few minutes contemplating the job I did on the flowers in the backyard. I wave with my casted hand to my neighbor as he gets in his car to go to work. He’s an architect in Irvine. I think about all I have to do today, and I am not amused. I brush my daughter's hair (she's old enough to do it herself, of course, but it's a daddy / daughter ritual since forever) and while she loads her backpack, I collect my junk for work.

The traffic is nasty, and it takes an hour and a half to get from Seal Beach to drop my daughter off at LACMA on my way to the studio. Oye vey. I am an avid bicyclist, but sometimes cyclists can be real dicks. I have my signal on, I change lanes and suddenly Mister Tightypants McLycra is cussing me out to be more careful. Nitwit. I drop the little sweetie off at the Museum and continue on to work. The car stereo pops up the song "Bittersweet" by Roxy Music...

NEIN! Das ist nicht das Ende der Welt,
Gestrandet an leben und Kunst.
Und das Speil geht weiter
wie man weiss
noch viele schoenste...
weidersehen...

No, it is not the end of the world yet (http://www.surfermag.com/features/unconventional-wisdom/), being stranded in life and art, because as the game goes on, how one knows so many beautiful returns...

And now, as you turn to leave
You try to force a smile
As if to compensate
Then you break down
And cry...

The electronic billboards along Vine bombard me with crappy advertising for things no soul needs and one only desires as a thin and harrowing adherence to the dying embers of commodity culture.

At that point, some of last night’s drunken dreams re-emerge, with “Bittersweet” as the soundtrack... I'm having sex with an old girlfriend who looks like Morticia Addams, only with short bangs in her hair, and naked as a mole rat... I'm in a house watching TV, but the TV won't shut off... I'm with "Morticia" again, and she's upset that she has to leave. I try to force a smile...

Flashing back to reality, I'm stuck in traffic ruminating on dreams and Roxy Music. I finally park in the underground garage, and wander up the stairs to the studio. The receptionist asks "OK - so what song is in your head today?"

"Bittersweet by Roxy Music"

"Deep."

"Yeah. Deep."

I step into the main conference room and plug in my computer as I await the half dozen other writers and various other producers. I come here for some amusement, and what greets me?

Another cut and paste retread from the ASP, leavened with stolen questions, and sprinkled with cutesy words like Nietzsche, sublimated, monkey, and other such hep words the coffee shop kids are using these days.

After hurling into the trashcan for a solid five minutes, I go fetal under the table, wondering what the hell has happened to surfing, our species, this civilization, that the likes of such clueless blobs of idiocy like Steve Shearer and Stu Nettles can inherit huge opportunities – only to act just like every dickwad surf writer who came before them.

And for what?

A small time blog thathas no hope of reaching half the viewers of a commercial behemoth like Surflie? (RIP Sean Collins – the king of exploitation).

I am one of those who is personally sick and tired of their bullshit, and getting burned hoping they’ll come through with SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

So, I crawled out from under the desk and wrote this.

Thanks Shearer. You are such a crappy piece of work, if you weren't such a mediocretin, you'd be Shakespearean in your tragedy. But instead, you're just a pathetic sycophant butting into other journalists way to ask questions that would make a first year journalism student fart in the cafeteria coffee maker.

"Morticia" was great fun until she killed herself with booze and drugs exactly 20 years ago. Her porcelain skin, huge blue eyes and sable mane will be remembered - her smell, her touch, her sadness and madness and death. She was one of a few that were all of a type that I always managed to fall nutty in love with, like a moth to a flame.

But these are sentiments Steve Shearer doesn't understand when extrapolated to !SURFING vs. ¡surfing - or understand only insofar as these are feelings and insights to bury and blur with narcissistic displays of Industry poisoning - displays of such vehemence they induce nausea in those such as myself who honor our lovers and loved ones with dreams and good wishes and cherished memories of the fleeting moments, the scattering threads that we assemble in our minds and weave together the stories of our lives.

The Andy Irons story is not about Andy Irons.

It’s about Steve Shearer, Stu Nettles, Tim Baker, Nick Carroll, Derek Reilly, and the rest who have neglected LIFE for the brief glimpse of ACCESS to something that doesn’t exist.

Fuck you. And ALL that you love.

See, I can write too when I actually have 10 minutes to think.

Steve, who's chiilin' in his van, taking it all in, and taking notes, as well as actually surfing the goods,..vs a total barney who not only pulls down his checks via the multinational Hollywood corporations, but choses to makes the decision to mix prescription drugs with his sauce?.....

yea, i feel for your family.

get professional help, rottkamp. seriously, get help. we do not like to see you not only pissing up your own leg, but down the neck of your wife and kids.

Steve Shearer.. keep hitting us with your four finned rhythm stick.

On 'ya, bru!

nice Rottkamp... you, sheltered by your parents, silver spoon fed Hollywood elitist....

i'd give your shite a 3.0... and that was well after you've claimed it like a barney!

now go on and quit....

again.

heh.

"I don't suggest Rupert is part of some "evil conspiracy", I make reasonable comment based on his well established activities as a global power baron. I don't suggest they include you, but as part of his empire, you can't expect to not be tainted by his ruthless business and professional dealings."

You can connect those "reasonable dots," but CAN'T connect the reasonable dots between Andy, More Coke Division, Michael Tompson, Kai Borg, and Paul Naude?

Fuck you Shearer.

No, really.

This is just the fucking beginning.

You can't imagine how heavy this year is going to be for EVERYONE in Media 1.0.

Don't believe me?

FINE!

Fred published the Sarge and Matt Branson articles at STAB.

Next to AI, the biggest stories in our surfing lifetime.

Funny how Shearer used the name Matt Branson's Cock Ring to comment at my blog incessantly for over a year.

Homophobia anyone?

bloody hell, Petey, buy yourself a farking clue....

it's not only in the comps.... it's bloody everywhere!

And it's called Competition.

oh, and Capitalism 2.0.

Doing work, Steve Shearer.. fine job, my friend.. very fine job..

and thanks to and your your stellar piece, once the comp commences, i'm expecting Ian Druy work to be busting out the speakers in the competitors tent, on every rated pros iPod down the Rocks!

on 'ya.

take note, rottkamp.

and watch that last linked episode about Ian Dury...

the poor bloke suffered the consequences of serious addictions of mixing drugs and alcohol...

get yourself some pro help.....

BTW, didn't see you out in the surf this arvo...

but that was no big surprise, Barnold!

I don’t think any of you would deny we need mathematics but the key thing about the strong force is that the development of QCD was heavily influenced by experimentalists and the integration of the symmetry groups confirmed by predictions. See the discovery of the J/Psi, the predictions of the massive W+/W-/Z0 triplet and so on. The best string theorists have managed is the postdiction of the entropy of a black hole and that is based on the assumption that the shrouding branes they use to shield a conformal rip in a 3-sphere in their Calabi-Yau spaces is identical to a black hole. Which as far as I can tell is not proven. In the mean time they say things like "It is the only game in town" which damages the exploration of other theories such as LQG, non-commutative geometry, twistors and so on. And they drive on, dreaming every more contorted dreams to force the universe to look like a stringy one.

Anyway. All this math / physics diversion is my vague attempt to let you all know that I pine for the Surfer’s Joke like a calf nibbling at an invisible udder.

IT stuff may bore you fellas, but it’s at the core of why competitive pro surfing is failing. And if you can’t comprehend or apprehend that, you shouldn’t write about it. Or publish it. But The Surfer’s Joke lost all cred with me when they started whoring real estate in their mag and publishing Jed Smith articles.

Steve, the other journo was Jed Smith. He's a mate of mine. We've worked together for years. We have shared material, and helped each other with stories. I was happy for him to be standing there, because I knew I'd be able to discuss it with him later. He didn't have a recorder, and he didn't butt into the interview.
Your email last year was not based on "earlier exchanges". It was a request out of the blue to feed you some story ideas. As if.
As for my "inability to conceive of any context outside the realm of the immediate subject", you lost me at "inability". Chase all the satirical content you like, mate. Just don't take yourself too seriously. And keep focusing on the "interaction" between News Corporation and Quik. Rupert and Bob spend winters together in Chamonix, I hear.

There is a cricket in here that keeps chirping at the exact same frequency over and over... anyone else hear it?

Oh yeah... it's The Roller. Google "rottkamp pilled up drunkard" and there are 70,668,783,099,883,666 entries... all by The Roller.

Steve emailed me asking for ideas too. I still have it (I keep everything). He wanted to be a part of Media 2.0!! Lol!!

sad part is, rottkamp,....

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rottkamp

even Ian knew...

and clearly states in part six,....

rehab can teach you the tools, rehab cannot cure stupid.

and there is no help for you.... you will have to eventually help yourself, 'ya Barnold.

that is the only tool people who care about drunken pilled up Barnolds with a wife and kids have, rottkamp.

the drum beat that you need pro help with your addictions.

so, either it works, or either you CHOOSE to carry on with your addictions, wither on the proverbial vine, and die of your diseases.

as those checks you pull from Hollywood?... they will only take you you far.

Yesss!!! Journo fight!

Fred,

With all due respect you don't do the on-on-one down at the event. You are a professional journalist. You can get Kelly anytime. Have him buy a you a cup of coffee down the road. The Circus is not the time or the place. The camera is a little much though. Steve should have just taken note. Pen and paper.

And guess what. You do work for a Murdoch owned paper. I repect the hell out of you, but when you go off defending Murdoch and/or become sensitive due to a surf writer making light of this fact to his two dozen readers that makes me chuckle.

Fred should take himself seriously. He's a journalist.

Steve, you should not, because you are not. Gonzo or otherwise. Until you actually break a story and say something that will be remembered after you're gone, just write what you're told.

It's what you're good at.

I didn't mean you Nug. Neither of us are journalists. We're both retards, just like Shearer. But at least we don't pretend to some kind of Gonzo nonsense.

Dance, Petey.

Dance.

It's a competitive world...

welcome to it.

And contrary to how Barnolds is hardwired and wrongly calling for it,... competition in all of it's forms ain't going away anytime during our lifetimes!

BOOYAH!

Freeride,

It is about transparency. I find it funny that YOU choose to poke fun at the dots between Pawle and Murdoch - but YOU can't even write or ask any insightful questions about the dots between Andy and the aforementioned enablers.

The latter affects a person's life that was lost. Something trying to be swept under the rug.

Rupert Murdoch? Please. Fourth graders know about Murdoch's affiliations.

That's your problem Steve.

You ALWAYS take the easy route. Toilet cleaning included.

ALWAYS.

freddo, fuck right off to the muck raking shady hollows of the Murdoch Press.

you cunts are lower than shark shit.

Sid,

Shark shit maybe. But Surf Media is lower than catfish menstrual excretions.

Beware: Much like mathematicians once assumed that Li(x) was always an overestimate for p(x), you may find that, much like Littlefield proved in 1914 for a very large number, the inequality switches.

In this case, it would be analogous to pushing the webcast views past the asymptote.

Aaaannnd it’s Mescal time.

*(that sound you hear is Steve Shearer dialing The Surfer's Joke begging them not to run the most RETARDED story of ALL TIME)*

Let it roll Sid. The surf industry has its share of shysters and low-lifes, as you may well know. FP is one of the few people shining a light on them. Extrapolating between his stories and the actions of Rupert is drawing the proverbial long bow.

So while Fred is in the house may as well ask him if he has any interest in doing the Andy Irons story, hey Rotty.

I'd put my house on it he wouldn't name the names you suggest were involved in Andy's death. Why? Probably the same reason any journo wouldn't touch the story without actual facts and proof; in fear of litigation.

Yep, Fred Pawle's journalism does cop some punch if you're not ready for it. And I respect that about him. He makes NC (the industry muppet that he is) come across as a cadet still finding his wings. I guess when you've been trapped for many years writing the same garb for the predominantly 12-18 year old demographic then things will become a tad stale and predictable.

No fuck him and fuck them.

they're only interested in slime, and using it to sensationalise headlines .

Ryder,

He is working on it.

Sid,

I'm just guessing you're a big fan of Kenny G and a band like The Germs disgusts you.

Amiright?

they destroy peoples lives,

often illegally, always immorally.

and don't give me any chinese walls or independent bullshit.

its all syndicated.

Since you guy are looking for story ideas maybe you can look into why Billabong hired a big-dollar retail consultant (who came from Target of all places) in the same week they cut an ASP WT event. Or added a member of the board who specializes in law (specifically corporate restructuring).

Haven't seen anyone question what penalties Billabong suffers from dropping a contractually obligated/liscenced ASP event (do they have contracts?)

Another angle. Does anyone remember what happened to skateboarding when just about every skate company went under? Word on the street is top tier pros were sleeping on couches and begging sponsors for gas money (if they had one). Things are going to get ugly. Real ugly.

Ryder,

The Andy Irons story involves things that could put people behind bars for lengthy periods of time. It's not to be trifled with.

I've named the names you need to hear.

If you can't make the connection in your head between those guys then you have the comprehension of a gnat. (again, stealing from SHEARER since it's open season.)

And Nug is right.

Why anyone would need to call or email people asking for stories in The Surf Industry is beyond me. I mean c'mon Steve???!! You couldn't think of a single goddamn story so you had to email Fred and myself?

There are so many stories out there I can't count.

Who paid for Occy to go to rehab last year. What does Lindy Irons dad do?

I mean I am a dolt, and I can think of a million stories to write about if my career was writing about surfing.

Thankfully, I have more important things to write about.

Like cock and pussy jokes.

the world has gone completely mad if its the Murdoch Press that is putting people behind bars.

@Rotty - I can make the connection, but without proof its a storm in a tea cup. Fred will not name names and his employer wouldn't allow it either. That's if it's earmarked for the Murdoch press?

it's all about destroying people, eh cramps ?

And Steve Shearer asks Fred to spend more time on "Message Boards." What is this, 2005?

Pawle is on Twitter. Sure he doesn't Tweet as much highly important stuff as me, but he's there, mixing it up with more people than this little site could dream of.

Sid,

Yes. Destroy The Industry.

Ryder,

So connecting the Murdoch dots is okay... though you can't prove a single word Pawle has written has been influence in ANY way by the Murdoch Press... but not okay when it comes to surfing?

Dichotomy.

Why Sid,

Does that mean you lose your little job?

I get the distinct feeling that 80% of the people commenting on this website work in the Industry.

It's simple math... see my aforementioned comments.

It's not hard to figure out who reads what sites.

not me.

but what has The Industry done wrong by you 'cramps ?

why the pathological obsession ?

is it simply a mental disorder ?

"Toddy Kline called Slaters victory a 'working man's' win"....

which coming from long time close friend, was a spot on take.

So, take note, even though BKS falls off less than most, he throws in plenty of overrated flicks to the lip in his act.

the rest of you left in the comp best take note of the jr grommets...... catch a heap of waves in your 30 minutes with one other guy out, and do what you do best, just go out and surf 'em..... even if there are well over 6 million people in total, peering in.

Sid,

If you don't understand what The Surf Industry has done to the soul of surfing, AI included, then you are a hopeless sycophant of corporate bullshittery. You are a living testament to how well their propaganda has worked for 30 years.

You and The Roller can live happily ever after in la-la land as the world turns beneath your feet listening to happy joy joy music and being a yes-man and never contributing a single creative idea to society.

That's FINE!

your obviously fucked in the head .

that's given.

but why, in the whole universe, take it out on surf industry ?

@sidthefish,

you have iy half right,... old Barnolds the rottkamp is in a combo situation,

suffering from serious mental disorders,... and up in atempting to pump up his little twittie kittty numbers.

Major yawn!

Rotty, I'm very interested in your Calabi-Yau space reference.

Reading a Dan Simmons book where he refers to the concept quite a bit.

Hard to wrap my head about it.

Care to elaborate?

that's all bullshit.

Bucky!

Calabi-Yau in layman's terms can really only be described as thus:

Calabi refers to Yau, Gatekeeper of the Anu’udrian Vortex Stargate. His flagship will be amongst the first of the swarming Kzinti Vorpal Class war frigates to emerge from behind the dark side of Jupiter, sling-shotting cobalt fusion missiles from its gravity well.

We must be prepared to fend off Lau and the Kzinti hordes with what we have: nuclear fission missiles, the ATF and Donald Rumsfield. Currently the plan is to draw the Kzinti to Palestine; as you know, the one Kzin vulnerability is trauma by rock impact and the Palestinians are the rock-throwingest motherfuckers on the planet. Besides, if it fails they'll get nuked, and fuck those bitches anyway.

So, basically you were confusing Calabi with Wasabi. And Wasabi with Chinese.

Don't let it happen again.

Gird your loins for the coming fight.

look at old Pete Bo,...

tag teamed up with rottkamp Barnolds, and shocked that competition also extends to the jorno sector.

use your double jointness, and pat yourself on the back,... welcome yourself to isurfing/!surfing.

as make note that every sector is as competitive as surfing itself!

and Capitalism 2.0!

you've yanki-fied some fiction a'la the cold war.

Its NOT REAL.

'destroying surfings soul'...

what a pile of horse shit.

the nastiest people I've ever encountered through surfing are the ones diametrically opposed to industry/comps etc. just plain old miserable horrible cunts, much like you.

they're the ones who lost their souls.

Sid,

With your ostrich brain, is there anything you don't consider bullshit?

Roller,

What competition in journalism?

Who is competing with Pawle and Melekian?

You DO understand the definition of journalism right? Oh, wait, you didn't go to school either. Carry on.

Dan Simmons? Does he have relatives?

Living in that world fantasy, i'd suspect he might eventually end up like his wrong way cousin, Matt.

Dead wrong. And dead by his own hands!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Simmons

Peak oil..... Peak fantasy.

Sorry to blow everyone's mind at once. But, it was necessary. This is a warm-up to the Olympics. Coming soon. To your face.

I've seen dozens of them over the years.

still can't work out why they are so hung up,

guess they just never mastered the chi' .

Rotty, thanks for that.

Thats what I thought also but I was afraid to say it out loud around all this Aussie genius.

"... hand finished machine cut blanks ghost glassed, from other shapers files."

MoreSurfboards.com

Steve Shearer. Team Rider.

The soul of surfing... sold out to $$

peaking of Simmons,...

Old Rottkamp,

Barnolds.

What ever he goes by,

he's just like Matt Simmons...

Elitist...

Our crazy uncle of the comment section!

http://www.forbes.com/sites/christopherhelman/2010/08/09/matt-simmons-cr...

Barnolds/rottkamp...

Steve sold out?

Hardly.

Capitalism 2.0.

http://www.summerteeth.com/

Since we're in a mind blowing mode, I’m going to go home, lock the door to my library and nurse a bottle of Del Maguey Pechuga; while thinking about SidtheFish’s mom's portly elbow fat, sputtering like wet blankets strung out to dry in gale force winds, as she milks my tender loins onto her stubbly bulldog jowls.

Ohhhhhh yeeeaaahhhhhh...

here's a thought, rottencramps,

maybe your ugly view on the surfing world is just a reflection of yourself.

... as a man thinketh, so is he.

I have no doubts you're a dog ugly surfer, cos you're a dog ugly person.

All about capitalism except when it comes to Rupert Murdoch eh Roller?

Caught with your pants down?!

@Sid,

Uhhhh... *shakes head and walks away*

don't forget to take your pills.

Someone doth protest much?

I got Shearer AND Roller in one punch... I don't think that's ever happened before!

G'night gents.

barnolds/rottkamp,

Murdoch may very well end up paying out heaps for their mistakes, still, that does not mean journalism packs it in completely, and ends in,our lifetime, now does it.

but, it sure will lead to another sector pulling major checks..... lawyers and billable hours.

Capitalism 2.0!

hey, we thoroughly enjoyed your latest air swing, Barnolds...

Good nite now.

once again, he swings, he misses.....

now substituting for Bill Buckner...

that old Hollywood elitist himslef..

rottkamp.

aka Barnolds.

Film at eleven.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2910082/bill_buckner_play_1986_world_series/

Surfing is a great sport but let me say there are some real douchebags out there.

Last night I went for a surf at 5 foot Rocky Point. Maybe a 6 footer now and then and pretty powerful but no more than a 5 on a 10 scale. The crowd was a touch thick but I was still surfed out from an earlier sesh somewhere else ( DOUBLES Steve! ) so I didnt care. I paddled up to this one dude, a fellow haole, and asked "how ya doin". I was raised in the South and we are pretty friendly folk and I always try and throw out a little aloha when I surf.

Anyway this guy stares me up and down with a judgmental look on his face that was really strange. I admit I do not exactly look like mr. pro surfer guy ( 260 pounds with more of a football look than a surfer look ) but I can hold my own for a 48 year old. Then the kook says "its fuckin CROWDED out here" as if I am personally responsible for the pack and he paddles away as if I have leprosy.

10 minutes later a fat, thick 6 foot left stands up way outside on the reef between Rockies and Gas Chambers and it comes right at me. I turn and stroke into it as a sexy but dog faced Brazzo chick asks me if I am going."Fuck yeah honey" I scream as I air drop a late one, make it, and continue on down the line with a little cover up and a carve or two thrown in for good measure. Yeewww! Stoked!

So then I am strokin back out and bump into this Hawaiian guy I hadn't seen for ages and he paddles up and shakes my hand and compliments my wave. Right then it begins to piss down rain and literally 3 minutes later a bitchen rainbow explodes over the sky. All is good.

5 minutes later grumpy haole barney paddles up to me says "hey whats your name brah? That was a sick drop!"

Like I said surfing is a great sport but way too many d bags.

"Although we were standing in the official post-heat interview area, it should have been obvious to Steve Shearer that this was a one-on-one interview"

Im sorry, what? Although you were standing in an offically designated press area - which I can confirm is about as big as a bathroom floor - interviewing the heat winner you thought it was obvious it was mano-a-mano? I've really enjoyed your work Fred but please, you are a victim of your own ignorance if you thought conducting your interview in the official press area wasnt going to be victim of some form of intrusion. If you didnt like it, stop the interview.

I guess the point of my story is that for the first time in my life I can understand why people quit surfing. I never could before but lately I can see it.

How come we never hear any surf stories from Blasphemy Rottmouth?

I get it, I get it.

 

Surfing + Writing = Entertainment. Getting stories. Interpretations. Doing your own “thing.”

 

It’s all about saying “Fuck you world! You may control everything else, but you don’t control me! So FUCK YOU!”

 

But honestly Freeride, if you’re doing what you’re doing out of rebellion, isn’t that also the world controlling you? Pushing your buttons? Steering you towards the life of a carnival clown?

 

Sure you may have made the decisions, but are they good decisions? Will they give you the leverage to one day give the collective, oppressive Man the middle finger? I didn’t think so either.

 

Okay. Okay. Easy. Stop crying, its making the sweat on your forehead run. It’s not easy realizing you’re not just a tool – but that you’re a fucking tool whose been set up and dressed in a clown suit by your own mates. But somewhere inside of you is someone who’s better than that. I know there is. I saw it at Blasphemy Rottmouth’s blog before you started writing paying gigs for the Corpo Complex. Deep, deep down inside beneath all the hillbilly, living in a van, having to eat nuts off the ground and barely paying rent… there is a lost person desperate to be seen, to be heard, to be loved. That’s your EGO.

 

So what do you say?

 

Let’s just go on down to the Porta-Potty together and you make that toilet spit-shined, okay? And no excuses, because that’s what freaks who’ve had every opportunity to flex their journalistic muscles will do on occasion.

 

I’m watching you.

 

Signed,

 

The Hippy in your story.

Mark,

You must have missed my five part Baja series. Or the rest of my blog. Regards to you mom.

P-Funk,

That's what you care about? Did you leave your curling iron on too long? Focus, child. Your flesh tastes underage.

Would it be so terrible if the pro tour scene folded? Don't get me wrong I might be the biggest fan of all time but the whole corpo-big money aspect is simply not appealing.

And wouldn't we all secretly enjoy seeing one of these illiterate, snobby fuckin pro's have to join the real world work force and get a JOB?

Puke Mark, you of all people not understanding quitting??

That is all you do! Over and over again.

Mark,

Thatsa boy!

I'm with you Mark. This whole search-for-a-global-umbrella-sponsor, make-the-webcasts-better-to-appeal-to-a-bigger-audience just freaks me out, man.

Seriously, why? So we get faster Heats on Demand? Great! But what will the effects on surfing be?

BTW it's-harder-than-you-think-to-write-like-this

Does anyone else think Adriano the Souza got way overscored in his heat against KA? Or are they just normal scores for ADS? (i.e. over scored scores.)

That Baja trip was HOW LONG AGO B.R.? When is the last time you went surfing in real waves, the kind that make your heart pound ( not counting that Oregon trip in the Fall when you pussed out )?

Do you actually ENJOY the act of riding waves? Of meeting your friends at dawn and psyching up for perfection while burning a doobie in the dark? How about waking up from a mid morning nap to find the wind had switched and everyone had bailed and you had firing 6 to 7 foot Sunset practically to yourself?

Or is popping pills, swigging booze and rambling about nothing important at all more your cup a tea?

Steve / Freeride / Matt Branson's Cock Ring,

The bottom line is this:

Is this as good as it gets?

You had ample opportunities to ask questions that matter to real surfers... not just the Industry Pissant Jerkoffs on this website. I mean the 99% The real surfers.

You've blown every opportunity and even butted your bald head into Pawles space to ask a question no one cares about. If you're going to but your empty head into a Wlkley Award winner's mug, at least ask him something interesting?

You are a bore.

Nothing more.

Which is why The Roller loves you (other than the fact that you ignore him so high five on that).

But is this it?

That's the only reason I am here right now.

If this is it. Then FINE!

Just don't keep stealing shit from everyone else whose more creative than you.

'Does anyone else think Adriano the Souza got way overscored in his heat against KA? '

Been funny scoring all contest RR. I'm not usually one to complain about the judging, but...I don't really know how to end this sentence now.

Mark,

I broke my thumb and scafoid. Look it up.

My blog was all about surfing and nothing to do with surfing. That's me. I don't think reading about surfing itself is interesting.

And neither does anyone else, judging by book, magazine, and website popularity.

Oh yeah and bragging about all the property you own around the world. You seem to enjoy that too.

Sorry it was such a tough night Stu and Steve. The next step will happen elsewhere, so enjoy all the comments while you can. Watching you leak your life's blood on the cold stone floor of the Chirch of Industry invigorates every vein in my body.

Hell will follow.

And then the Wrath.

@Bucaneer

I am out of here. These people don't want all of us dropping in on their scene.

Yes Mark, I've earned a handsome living writing words. Not a single of which was made in surfing. The only interesting stories in surfing require lawyers and cops... and FBI.

I don't need that shit.

I'll let others handle that. I can feed my family writing tit, pussy and fart jokes. And horror scripts. It's ALL I'm good at, so why not gloat? I'm not handsome like Stu. I'm not revered amongst the Hills Have Eyes like Shearer. I don't fight off insider trading deals like The Roller (go on, deny the FACTS asshole). I'm not even a human toilet like SidtheFish.

I am just good at writing.

rottencramps, you left one off the list...

... you're not happy.

any chance you could lighten things up a little and tell us a fart joke blasphemy?

better still, go for a surf, it might wash the sand outa your vagina.

It was an old lady's 90th birthday party, but since she was so old all she could really do was sit on a chair. halfway through the party, she started leaning to the left, so her neice put a pillow on her left side to keep her up. later on she started leaning to her right, so her nephew put a pillow on her right to keep her up. later still she started leaning forwards, so her granddaughter put a pillow on her lap to keep her up.
soon after, her son came. "how's it going mum?' he asked.
"ok," said the old lady, "but they won't let me fart."

Stu Nettles,

What's your response to Fred's comment about Fred's accusations about your response to AI?

Also,

Steve, you wondered about my recent appreciation for Chas Smith's deeply layered eviscerations of surfing...

Read your last few blogs and tell me you weren't copying everything he saud.

Fred and I had a good phone convo, Brewser. Won't be repeating it on here, but suffice to say we're on good terms.

@Stu,

Excellent copout.

Let's let Be Matson sort this mess out.

Eh? What's he got to do with it?

Either fire Steve or Stu.

Why the fuck are your paying these witless cunts?

I rarely bother with the back and forward forum banter ... But if Fred Pawle can enter into the foray, so can Craig Braithwaite.

As a guy who's worked in surf media and studied journalism at Uni, I find Fred Pawle's interpretation of interviewing, alarming.

The public, designated interview area of the Quiksilver Pro would be about the last place I would want to conduct an intimate interview with Kelly Slater. Regardless of where you think Shearer's ethics were at, your brains were at the same place.

Any journalist who wanted a story and alone time with Slater, would only have to ask Kelly if they could take it upstairs, where privacy would be ensured. I've done it in the past, and should I ever enter surf journalism again, I would do it again.

Is it your place of work, Fred, or your place of education ... or just your enormous ego, which allows you to think you should have a mortgage of the interview stage at a World Tour event, where everyone is scrapping for fundamentally, the same story? Maybe I'm reading too much into events, but you sound like every journalist in your path should be clearing the runway, and making way for the great Fred Pawle.

If it were me, and someone had – in my perception – hijacked my interview, the first place I'd look for blame would be myself and where I chose to hold the interview.

... it seems introspective thought and analysis is lacking in the houses, which Rupert Built.

...and thanks for the joke Zen.

It's funny Steve... really.

No.

Really.

Braithy,

How proud are you of Steve Shearer butting his head into this interview to ask such an important question? I mean... let's get down to it. What was Steve asking?

Braithy,

You spent more time on your comment than Steve Shearer did on his question for Slater. Now you are defending him butting in on Pawle's article. Why? What would Shearer write anything meaningful?

Why would you defend him over Pawle who actually has written interesting stuff.

BR ... it's fair game.

Knowing Shearer, if Fred had have asked for private one-on-one time, Shearer would have obliged.

Fred can't run around in hindsight making allegations about ethics, when:

a) he held the interview in a very public and media dominated forum
b) Never made his wish exclusivity known

and c) allowed Jed to listen in because, "he's one of my boys".

Presented with the facts BR, Fred sounds like the kind of surf journalist you should be at odds with. Representing the evil empire, and walking around like we are all not worthy of sharing the same stage as he.

*b) Never made his wish *for exclusivity known

KS wouldn't give Freddo 1/1.

Fred Pawle's stuff is interesting to rottencramps cos he's scratching for slime,

the rest of us wanna go surfing and have fun,

rottencramps doesn't get it, too busy with his own almighty royale'.

Braithy, gimme a minnit...

ps: nice crashing SS.

Braithy, gimme a minnit...

In earlier times, wealthy industrialists would commission talented artists to paint portraits of themselves and their families, usually in the formal parlor, and always dressed in their finery. Later, with the invention of the camera, the family portrait became more readily available to the masses. Mother, Father and the children would don their best apparel, and a local photographer would capture their image with primitive, bulky equipment. These grainy, monochrome photos were treasured heirlooms, displayed with pride over the mantle or pressed between pages of the family scrapbook.

The industrial revolution changed the young country. Factories churned out Model T’s and waffle irons, the Middle Class expanded, and by the turn of The Twentieth Century Eastman Kodak introduced the Brownie camera. Low-cost photography and the concept of the “snapshot” became available to the average Joe. The family portrait became a little less formal. People would still dress in their Sunday best while Uncle Walter snapped the picture, often on the front lawn. Life was good.

Sadly at some point, an unknown, self-centered innovator turned that Brownie upon himself and took his own photo, forever changing the course of history. When that seemingly innocent flashbulb went off, the foundations of modern culture began to irreversibly crumble. At that precise moment the sun was temporarily blotted from the sky, and in the distant mountains of Peru, a baby llama, blind since birth, coughed up a bloody wad of 35 mm film and part of a tuna fish sandwich.

As technology advanced, cultural values and decency regressed in corresponding measure. From elegantly-clad ladies and stately gentlemen posing in stylish attire, we are now reduced to the spectacle of pathetic, shirtless narcissists creating digital images with hand-held devices, reflected from a filthy mirror flecked with toothpaste and zit puss. The setting is no longer the formal, tastefully furnished parlor, but the very room where they vomit, urinate and go to take a gaseous, foul-smelling dump.

Far away, in an Amsterdam museum, Van Gogh’s self portrait is busily hacking off its other ear.

So Braithy,

You can join team Shear and his delusion... or your can see reality: Fred Pawle.

Name a single thing Pawle has written that's questionable.

Name a single thing Shearer has written that means ANYTHING?

I am more concerned about Shearer's health than my own.

And I am not kidding.

Seriously.

What a read this thread is. So much intrigue! One small incident, four different stories. It's like that Kurosawa film and for sheer commonsensory I think Craig Braithwaite is the monk. Can't trust the other protagonists.

Braithy,

In case you don't understand my parable... no.

Steve Shearer is the antithesis of Surf Media 2.0. If Steve had butted in with a question that rocked the surfing world? The we'll talk.

But until people ask Kelly why he supports Sea Shepherd, his faux knowlege is as deep as your eyebrows.

Steve / Freeride,

Scale of 1 - 10. How excited are you for your first Surfer's Joke post?

Here is Steve Shearer’s The Surfer’s Joke article in a nutshell:

AC/DC has released the same album 20 times. They all rock. Not everyone likes AC/DC. But they still kick ass.

The ASP has released countless years of contest. Some being epic, like Teahupo’o (the day they didn’t run the contest) to others, like this year’s epic Snapper Rocks event… a man-made wave that’s blown out but being held because that’s what the rules say. Rules are very important in surfing. You don’t follow them as a surfer you get FINED. You don’t follow them as a corporation like Bong or Volcom, you just get… ehhh.

Tell Kenny G hello for us.

Steve,

NOTHING is blocked on Twitter.

If some dumb fuck blocked you, it doesn't mean it's not heard by anyone else.

Grow up.

Media 2.0 is transparency because everyone has a say.

So tell us, Steve what YOU have to say that hasn't been published.

@Braithy,

Name something witten in Media 1.0 that wulod make you trust ANYTHING they say.

If you start the sentence by "Iknow so and so..." you've lost the battle.

@The Roller,

If I wanter to double Kelly Slater's number of followers it would be easy as one step. Why don't I do that? That should be worth at least 12 "pilled up rottkamp" useless comments.

Meanwhile,

Steve Shearer AND Stu have conventiently avoided the first arguments made on this thread.

Red Heerring's smell like your mother's cunt.

C'mon Steve,

It shouldn't take long to publish all those hard hitting questions that've been rejected. :-)

I thought you'd be more of a postmodern art guy, BR. Maybe even owning an original Andy Warhol and perching it high above your oak desk and leather recliner. Maybe have a World Series homerun ball of your favourite team in a glass case on the said desk too ... but I digress.

In 1443, Jan Van Eyck painted the first self portrait using a pinhole and a mirror. After that, everyone else was just one of the heard. Following.

I'm a big fan of Fred's journalism. His post with the underlying character assassination of a essentially a good man, left me a little queasy.

Fred wasn't asking ground breaking questions, maybe that's why he would have felt embarrassed about asking Kelly upstairs for privacy? Either way, all he had to do was ask Steve to give them some space, and Steve would have happily obliged.

Point is no one owns the media stage at Snapper Rocks. Doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. But, if you felt the need to want to own it, I'm pretty sure all you'd have to do is ask. We're a friendly bunch, of people up here.

I am not reading any of rotmouths comments but it'd be better still if it was possible to block it out totally...

Braithy,

Do you think Steve Shearer is a good journalist? I mean really. Tell me why...

Fred has aready published two stories that are top three of any surf story ever.

Tell me how Steve even makes top 10.

"An Anonymous screen writer from Hollyweird, the sole voice of reason in Swellnets bay of bullshit and banality, yet they question his sanity?" ~ Twitter

Braithy,

I think you need to adjust your expectations.

This is propaganga and fruity bullshit.

The truth is on Twitter. See you there... if you got the wit.

freddo had to front KS on the media stage for the same reason he couldn't get a wave at Snapper and had to 'drift down to Greenmount instead, and manage to grab a couple of fat walls'.

the surfer showed him the same degree of respect as did the wave. And it didn't happen by chance.

respect is earnt , not demanded.

KS too gave freddo 'a couple of fat walls', and he still got dropped in on.

priceless.

be happy freddo, if it was me, I woulda run straight over the top of ya, then gone the biff, then punched ya fins out.

fucken slime scrapping scum bag.

Braithy,

I think you need to adjust your expectations.

This is propaganga and fruity bullshit.

The truth is on Twitter. See you there... if you got the wit.

Sid,

The 99% dont care about a critic's surfing skills. And that applies to ALL sports.

Why are you quoting yourself Brewser? "An Anonymous screen writer from Hollyweird, the sole voice of reason in Swellnets bay of bullshit and banality, yet they question his sanity?" ~ Twitter

And what time is it over there?

BR: "But The Surfer’s Joke lost all cred with me when they started whoring real estate in their mag and publishing Jed Smith articles."

Very next line:

Freddy PawPaw: "Steve, the other journo was Jed Smith. He's a mate of mine. We've worked together for years. We have shared material, and helped each other with stories."

lulz.

Steve,

Your credibility among real surfers... meant little before... and means NOTHING now.

Truth.

And poor P-Funk can't even get his quotes straight. LOLCOPTRZ.

Dear all,

You believe in your beliefs sufficiently to defend them in the face of overwhelming evidence, and increasingly apparent reveals, that BREW might actually have a strong grounding in objectivity over the subjectively created "world" view that emanates pseudo cool and faux intellectuality enthusiastically from Surf Media 1.0.

Are you ready and willing to grow up; to become childlike, to question all that you hold sacred, test your powers of observation free from the jaundice of your childish notions of that which is, what is where, and whence it's not?

Don't bother answering, that's rhetorical, because we all know you're not ready to grow up and embrace your inner child, that you'd rather be a childish prat, playing with your rattle as you battle for the embattled cattle penned by themselves whilst the fences have been torn down and Surf Media 2.0 points the way to real freedom of thought, expression and the ever questioning inquisitiveness of all things that is the wonder of being childlike.

Matson: you send these foolish trolls on fools errands, and pay them. If you're doing this for your own entertainment, or so we can laugh at their ridiculous posturing, pious pretentiousness and hapless propensity for parading pointlessness; party on.

But, Matson, mate, if you did this with the best intentions, business or brotherly, to broaden these babes of bays small and bordered by banality, in the hope they'd beam brilliance as they broached the beaches of the bigger world - fine effort - but they've failed. Cut them off. It's time to let them return to toilets, burgers, the buses
and their sheltered bays.

c'arn boys. quit feeding the troll. it's 'net 101.

Anything else, Steve or P-Funk?

I thought not.

See you on the other side... enjoy Kenny G and your medlies from yesteryear.

Steve just got BURNED!!!

Ahahahahah.

G'Night sweet princesses.

Enjoy the 100+ comments.

We made you happy. We can comment in 5 minutes using devices more interesting than this whole post.

Now revel in your mediocrity.

You know not with which ye mess.

Matson doth.

Bow down to his sceptre.

Dude lives in a dreamland.

Say hello to Chief and Nurse Ratchet for me.

I am a phony fraud that actually has talent, no? Steve Shearer?

What does this make you?

It makes me the one standing on more stable mental terrain.

“Steve Shearer is the antithesis of Surf Media 2.0. If Steve had butted in with a question that rocked the surfing world? The we'll talk.
But until people ask Kelly why he supports Sea Shepherd, his faux knowlege is as deep as your eyebrows.”

@BR

Heh … is there really any groundbreaking questions out there that are going to rock the imaginary foundation of the house surfing is built on?

You can’t shout into the internet you are a new breed of journalism without tangible and irrefutable proof. And make that proof visible for everyone to see. If you’re legit, you have nothing to hide.

Out of curiosity, Why didn’t Fred ask Kelly about sea shepherd?

As for Shearer. Steve is an excellent writer. Well written, well read, well educated. He's honest, and when it comes to surf journalism, offers a fresh perspective and unique insight. The eyes he looks through at the word are without prejudice and with love. I'm a simple guy, and that's enough for me.

surfing skills don't matter, when you're only there to collect slime.

lets be real, freddo isn't interested in the surfing, good bad or mind blowing.

the objective is the BIG spit the winkle, no matter who gets sprayed.

its the same reason you're here insulting peoples' mums, ironically whilst you're the medicated basket case.

BR sounds like the hippy in Steve's story.

Yep. Another day spent rolling in the mud.

I alerted Fred to this thread and as he said, he doesn't comment on forums. He felt compelled to answer in this instance however. There is only one other time that he responded on a comment thread and I will link it below. It's quite interesting reading if you have the time. (especially Maurice Cole's comments)

Whilst everyone has been busy today looking at and commenting on this piece, Freddo has been on the phone to the states getting verified quotes that can be published in a REAL article.

@ Braithy. Didn't you work for ASL? The most tragic "machine" publication there is IMO. You also said you rarely enage in forum banter. From what I've seen of you over at Realsurf, thats pretty much all you do.

Anyway here's the link... http://www.surfinglife.com.au/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2545&hilit=sarge...

agreed, braithy.

SS yarns are refreshing, with understanding and real surfers feeling.

if anything, its Freddo Pawle et al that are stuck in the past trying to scratch slime for some blockbusting gutter media expose', as per Murdoch Press modus operandi.

"Pawle is on Twitter. Sure he doesn't Tweet as much highly important stuff as me, but he's there, mixing it up with more people than this little site could dream of."

There you have it sodomites, sounds like Blasphemy Scrottrott has parted the brown sea and is awaiting us on the other side, he has "highly important stuff" to impart upon our heathen ears, or eyes as it were.

Who cares about this sheep Shearer or the Pawle man's W.C. Heinz, when the mad bunny with delusions of grandeur is waiting in the twitterverse to enlighten our rotten little consumerist lives with 140 characters or less.

Hee hee, the truth is coming out.

Braithy, we know who you are. Industry hack job looking for a way in.

And SS yarns are refreshing Sid. When your job depends on it.

And Sid, what happened to all your conspiracy theories now that Steve's only hope is a connection between Murdoch and Pawle

There once was a feller named Rotty,
The poor chap was fucked - you know, dotty,
It turns out that the bloke,
Was quite huge on the toke,
Plus he suffered from head-up-the-botty.

Steve
Long time reader, first time commenter.
To counter one of BRs recent comments, you have plenty of credibility with real surfers. Heaps of my mates, all of whom are life long surfers with professional careers (none of whom are pro surfers!)love your work.
Not sure why this BR character is so angry and passionate about pro surfing. Surely there are more important issues to get worked up over. How about the fact that one of the leading GOP candidates in the US presidential race is a very scary religious nut who believes in creation, young earth and is totally anti science. Now that is something to be properly angry and passionate about....Makes Oz politics look rather tame!

James,

Your lack of intelligence sounds delicious. May I dine on you foolish flesh?

Barzum,

Then why us all that Shearer writes about here about pro surfing?

You guys got anyone creative?

I mean I took at least ten minutes to write my repost.

Is thus it?

Dine away Foot-in-mouth, but don't you have a revolution to lead?

relax rottencramps, the day will come when the pills don't work,

all will be left is you and your screaming.

nitey nite.

There is a difference between writing about something and going on personal attacks and getting angry like you do mate. I fail to see the point of it. How many comments have you left on this article?

We all know that most of the surf industry are a bunch of brain dead morons that take heaps of drugs, but so what? Does it really matter?

And despite what you think about snapper contest, it has actually been entertaining and the level of surfing amazing. There is a massive difference between seeing it live and watching on the webcast too. The shear impact of the power that these guys apply is lost to a large extent on the webcast. I managed to get a couple of hours off work the other day and get down to Snapper to watch the Julian/Melling heat. Absolutely incredible surfing.

@Michael Peterson. Or can I just call you Jimmy?

I rarely get involved on forums with people hiding behind fake names sprouting bs over the internet. Plenty of realsurf guys using their own name and being held accountable for what they say.

You sound like you have an unhealthy obsession with Fred and his daily movements.

How cant I get my quotes straight Rotty? I cut and pasted. Just like you do....

@ James the revolution is already happening brother. Jbay downgraded. Fiji cancelled (although no one has concrete evidence).

The ASP has no CEO, KS awarded his 11th title twice and Dane, Bruce, Bobby wanting nothing to do with the "TOUR".

Happy times for the nightmare tour.

@ James the revolution is already happening brother. Jbay downgraded. Fiji cancelled (although no one has concrete evidence).

The ASP has no CEO, KS awarded his 11th title twice and Dane, Bruce, Bobby wanting nothing to do with the "TOUR".

Happy times for the nightmare tour.

Barzum,

Just change your name to Barnum & Bailey... and all makes sense.

P-Funk,,

Then at least get it right.

Braithy,

Tell me what your real name means today in the real world. You seem to think it means a lot.

I will show you it means nothing in the internet age.

Anyone want to critique the actual piece of shit posted here?

For instance:

The comment that railwork on tour is beter than anything on video. (let's omit Dane's Marine Layer work to save Shearer further embarassment). And the comment that competitive surfing is appealing to souls.

Both are hastily thought, and ill-wrought remarks made by an unedumacated person.

Ben Matson hored this fool to write about this contest and has delivered what?

Nothing.

Save some borrowed quotes from a real journalist. Way to learn on the job asshole.

What would surfers, 'Surfing', and the 'surf industry' do without the ASP and the WCT?
What if it does collapse?
What would the next step be? What opportunities would arise from the void left?
Will we, as average everyday surfers wander the planet in limbo?
Will life as we know it cease to exist?

@ Braithy. I'm not obsessed with Fred. He's a mate and we talk regularly. (in the real world) I know his family and he knows mine. That isn't the point however.

The point is that that everything that comes from the machine is nothing but an orchestrated littany of lies and self promotion. When the truth is that the walls are crumbling.

If you can't acknowledge that then I suggest you get you're head read or pray to your false God.

@ BR

Anonymous internet hacks blur the lines of reality. Hiding behind a keyboard, and tapping keys indiscriminately in the dark, with no fear. Is it not weak? A sign of weakness and frailty?

It's integrity, who has it, and who doesn't.

This contest has delivered thus:

1. Shitty waves.

2. Same ol' names.

3. Judging that makes regular surfer's recoil.

4. No journalism AT ALL.

5. Nothing but bad news for the rest of the year.

6. Steve Shearer making headlines by barging into Fred Pawles interview with Slater to ask him him a question no one cared about.

7. Owen Wright being pushed through heats like a mechanical riding bull.

8. Billabong collapsing and no journalist asking anything about it.

9. A perfect 10 being granted to Joel Parkinson on a 2 foot onshore sloppy wave.

10. Volcom pulling out of Fiji.

@Braithy,

If you thnk think my real name matters, then you already lost.

Wake up chap.

This is the online world.

Governments are being hacked, crashed, and burned by Anonymous people before the bombs start flying.

You want my ID?

Why?

Hey Jimmy. The sky is falling. You better run.

@Braithy,

We live in a different world now.

Alpha males can no longer just engage in "asskickery" to obtain their loot… because then they will be thrown in jail, and the loser will get the spoils, as well as the Alpha's house, car, and depending on the severity of the beating, his entire worldy goods. Also, the Alpha male will most likely lose his girlfriend to the "loser" of said "asskickery."

The Bra Boys no longer rule, mate.

And most likely it will be videotaped and used as evidence against the Alpha as indisputable proof that he indeed assaulted the "loser".

So, the Alpha, in order to regain his dominance, has resorted to such obnoxious buffoonery as practicing MMA, wearing unearned dog tags, sporting ridiculously expensive v-neck t-shirts, bandanas, and copious amounts of perfumed body sprays.

This peacockery is now being mocked and regarded as mental retardation, while the Alpha must reinvent themselves as something MORE than gold.

WE nerds are the future.

Deal with it, or fuck off.

And change your bank account password.

@BR

Hell no. I don't want your ID , or your name or where you live. I have no beef with you, and some of what you say interests me greatly. I choose to be transparent and give my full name, but don't look sideways at anyone else for the choice/s they make. Each to their own.

But ... your ideology is flawed, imo. Osama Bin Laden is proof that the anonymous, faceless people of the world are eventually found and dispatched. Just like the anonymous hackers out there. All will be caught eventually.

Z-Man,

Now you are talking about Paradise!

Hey Rotto, I reckon you are a bit of a wanker but I will definately have to agree with your "What this contest has delivered so far" comment.

Braithy,

You havwn't done your research.

Osama was never Anon.

And members of #Anonymous have xisted for decades without being traced.

Braithy,

If surfing could track ANYONE... don't you think we'd all know who "Mark" from Surfline was...?

BR

Haha ... I'll personally email you my bank account and save you the trouble. You're welcome to the whole $248.76 ...

No Osama, was a guy who hid and fooled himself into believing he was winning and would always win.

And Surfing track somebody? Get real. You sound like you actually believe anyone outside of us care about surfing, the ASP and the corpos who run the sport.

The rest of the world doesn't give a flying fig about surfing.

Slater is still searching for his ESPN story. Meanwhile Nascar is the 2nd most watched sport in the USA.

Braithy,

I am in complete agreement with your last two comments.

Spot on.

Jesus, my best work...just ignored. Pearls to the swine.

I gotta go and sleep. Big day munyana.

Keep it real ,BR. I might stop by and chat to you some other time.

Good to meet You, Stu and Steve at Snapper... Steve is The Investigative Reporter and I can report he Lives It... Burrows in like a Pit Bull.... on Red Bull... Stu more Laid Back doesn't like the Hot Sun... prefers to watch QuikPro on the Screen in the "Media Room"
btw the QuikSilver Surfers Party was a Doozy... Check out my fb page for the Scoop Shots!
facebook.com/iaincolquhouns

Speaking of good journalism, any plans for Pawle getting over to cover Casino Beef Week ?
That's where the action is, man.

http://www.casinobeefweek.com.au/

c'mon Blahs, get with it. You're getting left behind man.

now how'bout that fart joke?
zenny, yours was good but Blah's a professional fart joke writer.
Show us whatcha got rotty, earn the cred you deserve and clear the air once and for all.

Did I dream that BR said goodbye to these forums a week or 2 ago? And now the kaaarrrnttts back?

BR, I was shocked to read you have a daughter old mate. It's great that you spend time brushing her hair, though I expect that's about all the time she get's with her Dad. The rest seem's to be dedicated to writing sweet nothings that nobody gives a faarrk about in the swellnet forums. Maybe you ought to stick with writing on walls with your excrement.

True that, frother.

And not only that, the old boy Rotkamp was once again caught with his bollocks in his piehole, mistaking Wayne Lynch for Wes Laine.

And Stu,

Surfing has rolled as a promotional vehicle since day one..... Ever hear of George Freeth?... and according to his extensive bio, it was all tipped off by, drum roll please,...

a journo!

http://www.surfline.com/surfing-a-to-z/george-freeth-biography-and-photo...

How soon we forget, 'eh?.

Capitalism 2.0!

Michael Petersen owned this thread.

Ignore everything I said and just read what he and Fred Pawle wrote.

The writing is on the wall.

"Ignore everything I said"

It's funny that you think people need to be told that.

here's one dedicated to the modern phenomenon of the exploitation of surfing... born n bred in the good ol' yoonited states...

@Shearersy,

Did you invent that term Pomgolia? If so it's an instant classic!

"Key ingredients for the development of emotion and theatre."

Epic line there, son... Sums up more than most realize.

Oh and Stunet, thanks for providing all the live cams.

Now i know before the call is actually made that today is definitely a lay day.

Yeah, the swell has really run out of steam today. No question it'll be a layday.

Oh, as old douchenolzze goes on and on with his attempts to boost his twittie kitty account, constantly whinging on and on about how surfing has been killed and crowded up by these contests run by multinational surf tog corps,... rest assured, he'll never admit to the fact that the REAL reason why surfing has become so populous over the years is straight away due to those Hollywood movie renditions.

You know, Hollywood?...

The very same multinational corporations that compensate old rottkamp's million dollar salary.

Yew!

I'm tired of all this tireless bashing of Swellnet, Matson, Stu and Shearer.

They do a sterling service, showering us surfers in surfing, forecasts, and surfy, in ignominious isolation from the idiosyncratic idol indoctrinations of The Industry.

There's no finer publication preaching the virtues of an afternoon squandered whilst watching yet another surf contest in it's enigmatic phlegmatic entirety.

Relatable conditions are one thing, being able to relate to Steve's lifestyle plights, humble witlessness, remorseless plagiarism and single minded delusional maintenance of the idea that he's worthy of print, paper, and a link, is salubriously solicitous. His solitudinal soliloquy of self solace sung so succinctly without satire, sarcasm, rhyme, reason, season or cerebrally satisfying seriousness is sensational.

Stu's constant attempts at commercial pragmatism veiled behind practically pointless past particles and participles is so precisely the ponderous pomposity and prose free palp parlayed precipitously uponst promotional pamphlets of products that he's permitted the prevalence and parade of pretending to ponder points purposeless. He could bring us a new word, "my'd", anytime now.

Matson's optimism in the face this mountain of mediocrity, his steadfast refusal to believe his boys are brilliant bogans beached, not broken; it's admirable in the extreme - as is his humorous half hearted helpings heaped on the brethren from the helm.

OK, then lets get back to Murdoch.

News Corps hacks a load of celebrities phones and emails,...

And Jules Assange hacked everyone else.

Dave, having very very deeeeeep pockets, is going to make out huge payments for getting caught.

Lawyers being prudent, always go where the money is to run up the billable hours.

@Theball,

Morning Brewser.

Haha, this is just farking hilarious.

At first I was just bored with it and scanned through but now I just can't stop laughing!!

Theball is first ballot hall of fame.

yep rottencramps now has multiple swellnet accounts, on top of multiple twit accounts, on top of...

rolls, the reason the surf is crowded is because we now are into our 4th generation of surfers,

I've got one mate, his Dad still surfs, his grandad still has a paddle in his late 70s, his brother surfs, and between them they have 9 kids who all surf/rip.

thats 1 family, 13 surfers.

ah classic.

BR and Freddo are twittring me and re twittring me on twitter.

only cos its you Freddo, only cos its you,

if you go to any fuctions at Bells, might be best you piss in the cubicles.

you never know who's who, but we know who's you.

@Sid,

We let a lot of things be said on here but physical threats - even implied - aren't on. There's a difference between some of the rubbish that gets posted between anonymous people and what you've said. Reign it in a bit.

but wrecking peoples lives with slime is ok.?

if more murdoch journos got smashed, the world would be a better place.

freddo isn't at Snaps for the surfing, he's there collecting slime for his blockbusting gutter media expose'.

the BIG spit the winkle, and they always shoot in the wrong direction, sometimes they blow for no real reason.

You're welcome to your own opinion, Sid, but we have boundaries in what you can say on here. If you feel the need to express them in terms of physical violence then you're gonna have to take it elsewhere.

Sorry mate, enjoy your input, but only up to a point.

it was said as a metaphorical reply to pussy pawle squeeling that a real surfer crashed his private space on a public media stage.

and the dumb kook cut n paste it and twitted it,

fucken hilarious.

boo hoo, SS dropped in on me... nah mate, that's not a drop in...

THIS IS A DROP IN.

Has anyone said it yet? Well I will. BR, just write the fcuking story already! You've got all the info supposedly so instead of endlessly pissing on about it JUST GO & DO IT. Otherwise shut up.

very funny, and has got you mega views.

Fred Pawe?....

Not only is little Freddo a twittie follower of ESPN Sports, (a fully owned subsidiary of The Disney Corp by the way), but he bloody well works for News LTD, a division of Rupert's 34 BILLION in 2011 revenues, News Corps as well!!!

I've hit pay dirt here, boys....

Between Pawe working for News Corps, and old rottkamp paid in full by BIG Hollywood, it's obvious that someone much bigger than these surf corporations is desperately trying every way possible to muscle their way into the professional, contestable surf action.

BOOYAH!

Now that we know these bogans have been busting it out on message boards and the twittie kitty on behalf of these multinational corps, ... their gayme has been exposed.

As has their credibility... and their hypocrite omelets.

I told you it was ALL about....

Capitalism 2.0!

karlos, its not much of a scoop, the horse bolted long ago. that's not the objective.

BR doesn't give a fuck about AI, nor does freddo, they just want to use the tragedy as a tool in the the toolkit to wreck the joint / sell more papers, respectively.

Happy 1st of Autumn Aussies! :)

sid, it's a bit more than"wreck the place"... it's about attempting to take over "the place".

When one set of corps stumble,... these bigger corporate raiders enter the house!....

And do stuff like put their employees, (Pawles, a worker bee for News Corp... and old Rottkamp employed by Hollywood/Disney inc), into the mod con mix, utilizing twittie,... blog sites,.. and message baords, to assist in Any. Way. Possible.

BOOYAH.

Capitalism 2.0!

Thanks Shoredump. Let the real silly season begin...

that's it rolls, wreck it first, then take it over.

agendas. as far as the eye can see.

wreck the joint. sell more papers. womens rights. human rights. ecovandalism. over crowding. global warming blah blah blah...lets find everything wrong with the world dump it on some fashion retailers, nah wait, lets call it the SURF INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, has to be evil. dead drug addict, has to be murder. kill bill and get more pie. do a slime report in gutter tabloid, sell more papers.

you counter the agendas, you must be an industry stooge.

sid,

na, it's just one set of corps taking advantage of other corps short term bit of misfortune.

at least we've been able to decipher who's pumping on behalf of who... and the fact and reasons why old rottkamp extended his end of the world of surfing to 10 years!

he's pumping it mod stylie on behalf of those corps which write his checks!

in the mean time, while the comp and the compensated pumpers are having a layday.... chill it up with some Lemon.

While we wait for Steve Shearer's next brilliant surf inspired installment straight off the Goldie,...

i mean how often do 'ya get a sure thing in life anyway?

how's a about a bit of St. Germain....

Yew!

rotty,more conjecture and falsehoods please see answers below!

This contest has delivered thus:

1. Shitty waves.
ah thats mother nature,and as yet any conspiracy theory between the surf industry and MN...well c'mon thats a stretch!

2. Same ol' names.
florence,andino,nicol,pupo,medina ahhhhh and some new names,pretty much the best refresh of surfers in a decade

3. Judging that makes regular surfer's recoil.
most surfers don't even care about the judging,its a subjective judging system and open to intepretation..next!

4. No journalism AT ALL.
what real stories are there in the 1st WT event of the year...its all about whats new!!

5. Nothing but bad news for the rest of the year.
what bad news ,a couple of comps been cancelled,there will be surf and there will be winners and losers and at the end ,a world champ!

6. Steve Shearer making headlines by barging into Fred Pawles interview with Slater to ask him him a question no one cared about.
who cares about steve and fred...its only you rotty!

7. Owen Wright being pushed through heats like a mechanical riding bull.
your opinion in a subjective system.....but thats all.....you home alone!

8. Billabong collapsing and no journalist asking anything about it.
BBG has not collapsed,and there are articles nearly everyday on BBG,but its in the business section.....not the surf mags!

9. A perfect 10 being granted to Joel Parkinson on a 2 foot onshore sloppy wave.
once again subjective and it was by far the best ridden wave of the day!

10. Volcom pulling out of Fiji.
so what.....BBG/QS/RC have all cancelled an event....

what is fascinating here is how much you watch the WT events looking for dots to join...geta bloody life willya!

brutus,

old rottkamp is EXACTLY like another bogan,...

Osama Bin Laden.

after all of his constant ranting, trying to force other people how they are supposed to live, at the end of the day, what was he doing when his end came?...

sitting around his computer, glued to the free porn.

heh.

maybe another ian dury song would of been more appropriate

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late.
I wanna confirm, I wanna conform
I wanna be safe and I wanna be snug and I wanna be warm

(and maybe be a part of another epic swellnet forum bunfight,
moving up in the world stu and steve, you even got a mention in the tracks blog )

@freeride

Liked your Story about sleeping rough in the Gatta Steve. I spent yesterday arvo in Griffth St... Characters straight out of an Urban Worst Nightmare Scenario... It Truly is the Boulevard of Broken Dreams... except for a few Oasis in the Concrete Jungles Barren Landscape... eg Traecys Juice Bar... try the Acai Smoothy... Outstanding!!

(No I wasnt stalking DP @asp looking for a Black "All Access" Pass)

I'll give yas a bombshell for free.

Billabong will outlive The Australian newspaper.

and freddo pussy pawle will change his handle from...

surf writer for The Australian.

to...

surf-related-smut writer for The Slimey Murdoch Gutter Rat Syndication.

and freddo, thanks for putting me on twitter, really stoked, but don't leave out the part where I called you a - fucken slime scrapping scum bag.

Stu,

Where's the bonus coverage of the event? Write something. And what about posting some of Sheps video? Does Swellnet have video? Kick down some coin to the man.

I'm only here for the free cheeserolls and fast internet Nug. Currently doing other things in QLD (meeting friends, interviewing random people, eating cheeserolls and stealing bandwidth). I did write a nasty little essay about overt branding at the comp - Naomi Klein would've been proud - but I thought better before posting. To angry and railing. Kinda betrayed my mindset while I'm here - not overly fond of the Goldy.

Video? I'll have a chat with Steve. I think he's gonna have another post soon but I'll see what the deal is with moving images.

Awwww Stu, how could you not love the Goldy?

It spawned me. But I'm from the posh end- he he.

There's a posh end of the Gold Coast?

has anyone else noticed that Freddo Pawles' head has the same bone structure as BRs' avatar ?

has anyone else noticed that Freddo Pawles' head has the same bone structure as BRs' avatar ?

https://twitter.com/#!/FredPawle

??

I was being facetious.

To be honest, only been back a few times in the last decade and the only thing I miss are the waves. Even then, I've got it good here except for head to toe 5mm of rubber most of the year.

Funny how when you grow up you realise what a stagnant little fishbowl you were swimming around in.

ah the Goldy... a sunny place for shady people.

I'm staying at Kirra, just up the hill from the cop shop and magistrates court. Positioning of the local constabulary barely seems to bother the tattooed yoof who stream down the hill day and night heading for the Sands hotel, the bottlo, or just to hang on the corner of Griffith Street. God knows what deals go down out there.

At night bass heavy music blasts out of the apartments behind me. No-one else seems to care. Or they just tolerate it. Or they're too scared to confront the protagonists. It's closer to daybreak than midnight when it ends.

On Monday morning I passed the courthouse while heading to the comp. Mondays must be when the petty court is in session as there were fifty delinquents, n'er do wells and miscreants lined up on the grass outside. Token efforts of respectability were made with parted hair or old leather shoes matched with pants pulled from a Vinnies bin. One or two parents were escorting their teenage kids. They eyed the company warily probably wondering if they're looking at their son's future.

From my pokey balcony I look over air-conditioning ducts and flat tin roofs. In the distance I can steal a glimpse of Rainbay Bay between highrise apartment blocks. To my right is the old Coolangatta; a huddle of classic wooden Queenslanders with stands of banana trees and palms in the backyard.

There's no surf, the heat is repressive and I'm in the nude as I type this.

c'mon stu, you should be more switched on than that.

all us smart QLDers slunk over the border to get away from the Victorians.

Yeah, Cooly has it's issues. Take away the waves and it is a cesspit. But there are parts that are nice. I live at Burleigh in a really nice family oriented area. No loud music and no yoof. Everyone on my street is either over 70 or in the 30-40 with kids age bracket. I love it. everyone love to bag the Goldie, but the simple fact is that if you want to have a professional career (I am an engineer) and surf everyday, it is the best place in oz to live. You have most major companies down here and easy access to Brisbane via the Pacific Motorway/train and the airport is so close flying to Melbourne and Sydney is easy.

Dear Blasphemy Loser,

The point to Shearers writing is that it is a pleasure to read. I find it pleasurable, my mates find it pleasurable, others do too.

Is there any pleasure in your life? Your writing sucks, it feels like the playground of an insane child. Broken toys, dog shit, goats jaws, grass that won't grow properly. What is the point of that? Is there any pleasure in your life?

You focus on death and drama and conspiracy that doesn't exist.You must have a horrible brain.

So true billie, he must be a sad little man with apparent little joy in his life. Could probably find some though, if he was to try partaking in the pastime he bags out so often.

As if.

Brew got so much sand kicked into his mangina as a kid by the locals, he made a vow... 'when i grow up....', ....to make those nasty surfers pay.

Perish the thought that he'd even attempt to getting his spindly, pasty and blue ringed, legs wet.

Picture the poor sod, myopic and with his polio gait, drooling at the spectacle of these 'cruel ' youths, in this pointless and beautiful pursuit, displaying all the physical attributes that evaded him, conducting effortless and beguiling manoeuvres across chimerical forms of liquid energy.

No, our bleating agitator channelled all those useless hours spent gaming and sci fi fantasising into a turgid career in Hollywierd, writing .... fart jokes?.... Horror scripts?... Feck me dead oh mother of squicking jesus.
Not even so much as a sitcom, let alone an epic, honourable contribution to the dramatic arts.
No siree you ..'lumpen proles, cattle class citizens and convict stock' ....
Fart jokes. And horror scripts. You understand? Don't begrudge a broken soul his substance abuse.
What wicked paradox informs his dogged conniption in pursuit of AI's apologists and tormentors alike?. One can only wonder, and at what expense to our own sanity to do so?

As some twit quipped on his beloved Twitter - (media 2.0 my heamorroided arse. Mostly, more like the special needs kids' toilet wall) ..." this point you're driving home brew...you need to get it into a child restraint seat 'else things get hectic, ya hear?"
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Stu, those bogans you've depicted in your comment above? It's not just the Goldie anymore... they are everywhere.

And they're fully targeted in advert campaigns. Just ask the handlers of Bobo Mart and the tailored fit, FTW gear.

Bar the doors, and hide the kids... It's as old a civilization itself.

Haha ... Hilarious Stu. One full calendar week in Coolie, and you're a naked, dribbling mess deprived of sleep and depraved to life.

Jeez Stu, you better get some clothes on by the time I head up there!!

Just knock before you enter, OK? Gimme time to cover the nether regions with an old pizza box or something. Make myself decent.

@Stunet

And please Stu... No Aurally Excited, Placially Induced Sleepwalking down to the MC in that state... I am already Tired and Emotional... The Visual Visceration of Stu Sans Swaddling could push me Over...
Coz I'm Close to the Edge...

"Broken glass everywhere People pissing on the stairs, you know they just don’t care
I can't take the smell, I can't take the noise no more Got no money to move out,
I guess I got no choice Rats in the front room, roaches in the back
Junkie's in the alley with a baseball bat I tried to get away,
but I couldn't get far 'Cause a man with a tow-truck repossessed my car
Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge I'm trying not to lose my head,
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder How I keep from going under
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder How I keep from going under"

(Words Thanks to GRANDMASTER FLASH - THE MESSAGE)

Mister Pink,

My life is a rather grim one. One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in great detail.

So that's how you want to play Freeride? Delete my comments and edit them. They aren't deleted. They're are cached.

I just told you more about BR than anyone knew, and you delete it?

The K'baa gestapo is back.

You're making your death last even longer Shearer and Swellnet.

Freeride,

My comment was not only deleted, every word after Mr. Pink was changed. People on Twitter had already commented on my comment. I have a screenshot of it.

Guess Nettles is fucking scared shitless of the truth.

Ask Ben Matson for a copy of the comment and why he deleted it.

Maybe your 3rd eye will be opened.

Another screenshot!

Freeride I deleted it and replaced it cos I thought it was funny and also, well, because I can. Think the new quote fits quite nicely. And Vangard, do you think we didn't already know that stuff??

Ha ha...off to your more relevant pastures.

The only excursion of my life outside of New Orleans took me through the vortex to the whirlpool of despair: Baton Rouge. . . . New Orleans is, on the other hand, a comfortable metropolis which has a certain apathy and stagnation which I find inoffensive.

Stu,

That was the final nail in this websites coffin.

Why not let The People decide asshole?

You played right into our hands. Controlled narrative.

Media 1.0.

vanguard, blow it out your ass.