The Outsider: Lost Souls

Steve Shearer picture
Steve Shearer (freeride76)
Swellnet Dispatch

"The truth or falsity of a belief does not in itself determine whether it will spread." Peter Singer

Met my first real, live Murdoch journalist today - Mr Freddy Pawle. Fred just happens to be the spitting image of former ASP CEO Brodie Carr. No shite, sports fans. This sharp dressed, well-coiffed man was interviewing 11 times Champion of the World, Kelly Slater, on the podium and I felt like I'd just been jabbed with a cattle prod. Brodie Carr interviewing Kelly Slater! So, this is where former ASP CEO's come to die? A few months grace to fall off the Twitter cycle then re-invented as a journo to interview the bloke you made look like a chump less than a few months previous.

It wouldn't be the weirdest manoeuvre in Pro Surfing history. In fact it had a kind of a righteous karmic feeling about it. Brodie down in cattle class with the rest of the hacks, carbo-loading on food in the mess tent to punch out a minor PR masterpiece.

I felt sure Fred Pawle would be scrutinised to a high degree, movements constantly monitored by surveillance camera, phone tapped by Bob McKnight. The whole deal.

With Old Baldy and Fred going head to head in a brutal match-up it was hard for the indy observer to know who to barrack for: The Murdoch Press or the Surf Industrial Complex? I joined the conversation, just for the pure fun of it.

My Captain of Industry contact had indicated the brands would hand control of the sport to the ASP over their stone dead corpses but Kelly gave a very different point of view when asked if the brands were resistant to handing over the media rights.

"I honestly think they're open to it now."

There obviously had been strong resistance to this but as Slater explained, "I think that's why the brands own them [the media rights] but the ASP never created a structure, or an outlet for those rights. The ASP has never come in with the cash to run the events and sell the signage. Whereas every other sport in the world their association runs the events and gets sponsors to put signage up."

Then Kelly dropped a bombshell.

"There's some rumours about another contest dropping off tour which would really stick the knife in with how things have seemed lately."

A quick check around revealed Fiji on the chopping block although a representative of the ASP denied any official notification.

"Fuck, Volcom are loaded aren't they?" I asked the ASP'er. "Sure they just sold out to Puma for multi-millions," he confirmed.

I asked Kelly if he thought by rebuilding the core and putting less emphasis on bums on bleachers there could be a renaissance of the sport. Maybe a pay per view future?

"We only have ten events....I don't think anyone would be opposed to paying ten dollars to watch an entire event, for example. But if they were all remote then you start to step on the toes, you know a lot of waves are kept out of that mainstream mindset. A lot of places around the world are just sacred for people who travel." "What about a smaller event, lower impact. Say, a day at G-land?" "Yeah, that'd be awesome. I think G-land's a great spot. It's the original Dream Tour wave."

Dream Tour. It seems a concept as dated as PowerBalance bracelets.

Fred ended our menage a trois by asking Kelly how he stays so fit at 40. "Phone tapping, Fred. Just ask Rupert. It's the secret to eternal youth."

No, no, no, Kelly didn't say that. I didn't say it. It was just a thought. You couldn't blame someone for thinking it, right?

Parko went way high and looked more raw than usual, with sharper cuts in the Snapper faces. The surf looked junk but he surfed fine. Parko as world champ? In this Era of Austerity with the downgrading of J-bay and Fiji teetering on the abyss, it already seems like it would be a token title. A Parko Title campaign not based on J-Bay makes zero sense.

I asked Parko how it feels to give the majority of your working life and talent to a sport now in dire straits. He was nonchalant. "It's not good but the whole world's in tough times. It's not great but the surf industry enjoyed a massive boost for so long...um...we're surfers, we're good adapters. Billabong will adapt, just like all the other brands will. They'll adapt to the times and when times get good again, they'll move forward." "Do you think the tour could shrink again. You know, cut the number of surfers?" "Maybe. It's a hard time and people won't like some of the decisions that will have to be made. But, we're not the only sport to be losing events."

You'd take shares in Mayhem Surfboards if it was a public company after Julian Wilson's performance against Melling. All that hesitancy was gone. In its place was an audacious manliness based on the square bottom turn and any turn he wanted off the top. It was the heat of the event. Melling left nothing in the tank. His opening top turn might be best on tour right now.

There's something still a little petulant about Joycey in person, some sense in which he constantly feels a little slighted. Wounded pride might not be a bad asset for a Pro Surfer. Here's a book for you to read JW: Le Rouge et Le Noir. The hero, Julien Sorrel, an ambitious, talented man attempts to rise beyond his modest upbringing but is betrayed by his passions. Ya see the connection Julian? You could lay a giant crap over Dane's Bukowski with this. Think about it, this will take you further than a low handicap at Coolum.

God I was bummed when John John got sent home by Ace. That lazy arm doesn't look as weird in person and he seemed the rookie most likely to do something transcendent. It just seemed one of those machine-like days grinding relentlessly towards a denouement featuring Jimmy Slade brutally stabbing some old or new victim. How the hell do you celebrate that? Maybe only Bob McKnight knows the answer to that question.

God bless our Diamond Dobby future.

(Editor's note: Like this? Then click below so your friends can read it too)

Comments

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:08am

Days late and dollars short.

Steve Shearer and Media 1.0... beaten to the punch by V-For_Vanguard abd @FSU_CEO by months.

Hell even tow days ago people were calling out Fiji being a hoax.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:08am

Just cut and paste Twitter comments from yesteryear Steve. Save yourself time, money, and a few remaining follicles.

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:18am

Brew, you're back.

We thought you'd quit for good .

the-spleen_2's picture
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the-spleen_2 Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:51am

@Blasphemy Rottmouth,

If it's on Twitter it's as ephemeral as you are. The facts you cite don't exist, but don't worry, you don't exist either.

smeeagain's picture
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smeeagain Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:55am

@Blasphemy Rottmouth
Steve supplies opinion and humor. You whinge and bitch.
Get a life!

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:07am

what happens when Stiv Shearer writes another gem?... the old drunk and pilled up rottkamp comes back to promote his meaningless waste of time twittie account. heh.

another sweet as angle article, Steve.... Brodie Carr pulling a switch stance....

give 'em a 8.0.

ryder's picture
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ryder Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:12am

F U C K O F F Rotty

You're a waste of air and space you pilled up drunk

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:12am

Giving your comments thread a boost Steve. They were lagging since I left.

Oh, and yeah, I wanted to gloat. Seems like your last few posts are plagiarizing my Metaphorical House in a Sarcastic world.

Funny, you and the Roller scoffed then.

Now?

The Church of Competitive Pro Surfing is falling apart.

But I'm just a conspiracy theory whiner.

And The Spleen... I exist, rent free, in your mind.

Smeeagain... if this is what you call witty and humor... you must be an Aussie. Sorry mate. You didn't ask to be born stupid.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:14am

Ryder,

I will fuck off. In fact I can't stop masturbating as the whole fucking thing burns to the ground.

stunet's picture
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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:16am

@Brewser,

And to think all that time ago I mentioned arguments on websites are driven by ego, and you laughed at me. How yours is showing through.

the-spleen_2's picture
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the-spleen_2 Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:24am

Soon to be forgotten.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:26am

My ego is half the size of Shearer's... bank it. He still hasn't eaten his. And your load of crap in that live interview makes you seem like a full retard for knowing all along about the dark side of surfing and saying NOTHING about it.

As this thing burns down... the skeletons will come walking out of the closet and birdies will be chirping.

You kids here talk about libel and slander?!

Pffft... that's a joke and one of the hardest things to prove in court.

Criminal negligence and wrongful death? Now we're talking... to YOU.

Media 2.0 is way out in front of you poor folks.

Keep recapping what we've already said...

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:29am

Oh, and Bobby Martinez also sends his regards... a giant middle finger for you to huff down with your Industry load of semen you swallow each and every day.

Buy Bong now Ben Matson. I bet you could get their logo on your site for dirt cheap.

the-spleen_2's picture
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the-spleen_2 Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:30am

Please point out where you said it. Grab the quotes, dates. Include the Volcom details.

Otherwise keep blabbering, chickenshit.

stunet's picture
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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:31am

Wayne Lynch sends his regards to you too Brewser.

icarus's picture
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icarus Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:34am

What's this raspberry bottomouth clown doing mingling with humans, shouldn't it be back in the putrid little world of pointless blog, pooh-stancing on the mush burgers of its own ego.

brutus's picture
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brutus Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:37am

rotty,the conspiracy clown is back...ya needed ya fix didn't ya?

can't stay away as this is the only forum that lets ya strut ya megamonster ego......you are not a whiner,don't sell ya self short,ya just a whinger with a lust for conspiracy theories....have you ever tohought about group therapy....or is this forum ya therapy???

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:41am

The Spleen,

It's been all over Twitter dummy. You know, where things happen NOW... not two or three days later.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:49am

The Spleen,

It was all written here: http://blasphemyrottmouth.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/allegorical-construct...

But it takes more than room temperature IQ to understand it.

Steve Shearer suddenly understands it - as you can tell from his last few posts.

Well, I better go watch the Quik Pro, before you know it, it will be the only WT contest this year.

Yew!

rat-race's picture
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rat-race Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:59am

I've gotten onto the Mayhems in the last 2 years. The 5x5 redux movie got me frothing for a rocket. Now i own about 5 of em. I can't see myself looking at any other board brand either as the Mayhems kick ass. The WT pros from Aus seem to be loving some time on them as well. Mick, Taj, JW. Matt Biolos has a pretty sweet blog too.
Peace.

brutus's picture
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brutus Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:00am

rotty great entertainment,actually a fun read,but yoiur dot joining and your conclusions are just not credible.....but you can write,and boy does your ego come thru...thanx for the entertainment!

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:14am

when Grubby Clark's Clark Foam shut his doors, most people like rottkamp were panic sounding their hooters that surfing was dead. that the surf industry was changed forever, that prices for boards would go thru the roof, when in fact, that marketplace responded, and blanks are more plentiful after Grubs quit.

if the ASP was to go out, the marketplace will respond... and contested surfing will go on.... and on... and on.

hells bells rottkamp, even BKS - Bob Kelly Slater says he's working on a plan... a plan that includes people paying to view!

Yew!

Capitalism 2.0!

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:22am

ok boyos,... right here on Swellnet.com/au,

just like what would get the now defunct rottkamp's site hundreds of comment entries....

live drunk blogging of the Quik Snaps 2012!..

lets get it on!

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:34am

here's something even BKS never thought of on how to make these comps even MORE interesting, and include more face time for the guys everyones always clambering to see...

if these round four heats have no losers, why not put the guys who got the round two boot in 'em.

Daynolds approved â„¢ .

z-man's picture
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z-man Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:42am

@rottmoth or stunet
SO WHICH IS IT? TAVI/CHOPES BOTH CANCELLED OR IS THIS ALL BS???

(curious readers want to know)

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 10:06am

z,

call Waterways and try to book a trip Tavarua or Namotu, June 3 thru 15.....

888.669.SURF...

Booked solid. No cancelations.

z-man's picture
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z-man Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 10:21am

roll

good. not that is really effects my life, but if the waves are good it's fun to tune in.

garcias!

stunet's picture
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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 10:56am

Called a few people in Fiji and no-one knows about it (first they'd even heard, in fact). Spoke to lower level ASP person who called BS. Richard Grellman, standing ASP CEO, won't comment as per Fred Pawle's article in the Australian. Volcom haven't replied to emails yet.

A lot being said, nothing confirmed.

sidthefish's picture
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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:20am

wouldn't it be classic if Slater sold Freddo a pup.

victor's picture
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victor Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:27am

keep wanking rottie sit back and swallow your own load,moderators can ya ban this loser from the site...

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:30am

not to worry, victor, old rotkamp is busy writing another Hollywood fukbluster...

word is his latest is to be his autobiography, titled...

"An Inconvenient Narcissist".

sidthefish's picture
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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:32am

FUCK OFF ROTTENCRAMPS.

FUCK OFF FOR GOOD.

and take monkey bum D.Reynolds with ya, he came LAST in both his heats.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:35am
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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:36am

What world tour heats Sid?

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:38am

whoopie chook shit.

does that mean they won't waste wildcards on your hero, so he can lose 2 heats in a row, then fly home to his crayons?

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:39am

You mean 30 minute heats, 80 pages of rules, judges not knowing ass from elbow, and shitty waves? The one watched by an average age of 40 year old males?

And you wonder why there is no future for the ASP.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:47am

Dane can fly wherever he wants, surf wherever he wants, and has the most popular surf blog on the internet.

Unlike Owen Wright, who can't keep anyone awake.

sidthefish's picture
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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:47am

2 waves, 30 mins.

How hard can it be?

The format isn't the failure, Dane is the failure.

Before he is 30, a new gun will be kicking bigger and better airs than him, and he will be on the scrap heap. just like his "artwork".

the-roller's picture
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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 11:51am

sure rottkamp, the J-Bay test match is now a SIX STAR event.

so, no matter what, contested, online streaming surfing will continue on.

and it's good to see, old rottkamp sure enjoys exposing himself online, with his foot in his piehole.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:00pm

yea?... and where does the great Dane pulls his pay packet?...

Quiksilver. Vans/VF corp. Boost Mobile. Monster Energy Drinks...

yup, from the very same multinational surf and tog companies that sponno the successful comp pros.

Capitalism 2.0!

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:01pm

as for bagging the waves and conditions at the QS pro.

I know for a fact, if you were surfing those waves with 1 other guy,

you have an absolute ball of a time.

Barrels, bowls, pockets and inside winders.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:08pm

you are SO right sid.....

http://www.aspworldtour.com/surfers/mens-profiles/dane-reynolds/

due to the obvious fact that Dane could not make it on tour, more than frustrated he couldn't, and if he carried on with it, would have soon faded from view... his sponsors came up with a new gayme plan....

compensated "free" surfer.

marketing 101.

Capitalism 2.0!

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:14pm

2 waves that make judges who have no idea what they're watching is not hard... its stupid.

That's why Dane quit. He doesn't need shitty waves and retards in a booth to tell him he's good. Everyone already KNOWS it because they have eyeballs. He surfs one contest and gets second at the Surfers Poll awards.

If the tour was exciting, it would be popular, successful, and Nike would have taken over long ago.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:15pm

has anyone seen Pete Mel on the mike?...

channeling it up in those hideous Aloha shirts.

the dude is definitely the mod con version of Fred Hemmings.

good on 'em.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:23pm

If you look at his history of results linked above, and the events he competed in, most of the time the surf was epic.... and yet, Dane still failed to post up any meaningful results, became frustrated, and thanks to the same corporate sponsors that sponno the rest of the lot, Dane was afforded the luxury to quit.... Marketing 101.

and as the late great Woody Hayes once said,....

"Show me a gracious loser, and I'll show you a bus boy."

Dane would make a great busboy..... so have 'em clear up the empties, and get us all another round of beers, please.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:25pm

Dane quit cos he is a quitter.

End of.

He can't hack life.

boo hoo, the judges were mean to me, give me some crayons and leave me alone.

pathetic.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:49pm

Dane,

or at least, some free beer cuzzies, thank you.

http://www.summerteeth.com/accessories/summer-teeth-cuzzi

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stevenug Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:49pm

Where is Mike Mantalos when you need him?

Plan it just like a surf trip. They will come. Kelly knows. He buys Mike's flowers by the bushel.

I like Steve's recaps. He borrows from the best Blas. Like the Australian Steinbeck writing from within the dust bowl. Shearer is you, me and us.

The Okies just want a safe place surf, without the man keeping them down. We just need a Tom Joad.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:54pm

Where's Flower Mike?...

He's never anywhere there's surf,

heh.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:56pm

nuggie, so soon you forget....

Hippy, aka Flower Mike, is a certified parking lot kook!

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:57pm

Sid,

So you think the judges are spot on?

Dane couldn't hack the tour because you have to be a monkey and dance for the muppets in the booth. Milk the wave. Tick off the boxes as he's riding. That's not surfing. It's fucking ballet mixed with Brokeback Mountain.

Even that blowhard Derek Hynd knows this.

And if Dane is done, then why is he the biggest draw wherever he shows up?
You kids are silly.

Defending The Machine like I'm picking on your mom.

Fucking nutcases.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 12:58pm

Mike's idea has a lot of merit Nug, but this is February on the Gold Coast. High season with low surf. It can happen anywhere.

And the whole surgical strike thing - you know, 72 hrs warning and fly the pros in - will never get a leg up here. I doubt it would anywhere. The best bet model, I think, is the current Mundaka Challenge: appease the locals by inviting the best of them to the contest.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:04pm

Mike's idea was Slater's Rebel tour.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:06pm

you're right, Stu. it's been tried before..... OP Pro Boat Trip Challenge, Ments.

so, according to our schizo pilled up alcoholic online friend, rottkamp, the future is the past,.... the past marketing of pay per view contests?....

there are some ideas so wrong that only an intelligent person could believe them.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:09pm

yup, the judges are spot on 99.9% of the time.

and to prove this point, take a squizz of any of Danynold's videos of himself on his blog.... he's throwing big, but still falls off the FAR majority of the time!

just like he did in the comps.

and in the eyes of the judges, that does not cut it!

BOOYAH!

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:13pm

rottencramps, you're a full lifestyle fuckwit.

spend half your time saying pro surfing is all crap, then the other half banging on about 3X world champ AI.

bet you've never surfed Snapper, and have no idea how much fun those wonky bowls are to surf, so stop talking out your bunghole.

the judges generally get it right, that's how AI won 3xWT dickhead.

if anyone is clueless, its you.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:13pm

The Roller,

And who sells clothing by falling? Who gets second in Surfers Poll by falling. Who is more innovative than anyone without falling?

Put your brain back in your head before you comment.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:16pm

Sid,

I talk about AI but the story us about criminal negligence on behalf of his sponsor.

That has NOTHING to do with contests. Separate issue. Can you understand that concept?

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benski Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:21pm

nug "I like Steve's recaps. He borrows from the best Blas"

Blas meaning B+R?? I don't think he's even in the same league as Shearer.

Shearer is a fantastic story teller. He has a knack of infusing atmosphere into his writing without self indulgence or condescension. This is a rarity in writers and is something I particularly enjoy. Of course this is all subjective, but reading someone who's enjoying the experience they're writing about, whether it's pure joy, bemusement or cynicism is always a pleasure. Shearer nails this.

I think the difference between the two is Shearer is writing to tell a story so his use of evocative imagery and offbeat perspectives serves a purpose; is effective; and is a pleasure to read. B+R attempts the same at times but not to tell a story, rather just to seek attention. It's rarely enjoyable to read someone who puts themselves before their readers like that.

Sorry to be a bit blunt there rottmouth, but I trust you appreciate the feedback.

But yeah, I agree Shearer's a great story teller which is funny because he strikes me as a guy who'd be a quiet bastard around a campfire.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:23pm

pay for view ?

ask Murdoch how pay for view is working ?

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:27pm

Dane quit cos he's a quitter.

AI died cos of HIS drug addictions.

rottencramps, stop blaming others, its as pathetic as Dane's "artwork".

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:29pm

Benski ,

Shearer recaps events. He tells stories already told. If that's what you like, then enjoy away. He has zero creativity and says nothing we didn't already know. I don't care about anyone's feedback here because this is preschool.

This is why surf writing is tame, lame and going no where. Like Tim Bakers books.

Benski, no one in Media 1.0 likes my writing. I don't want you to like my writing. I don't want to be popular. That's why I chose the name blasphemy rottmouth and haven't charged a dime for anything I've written in surfing.

I do guarantee you've enjoyed my writing in real life though. Bet the farm on it.

So long.

Back to 10 comments a thread.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:31pm

yes rottkamp, Dane falls off more often than not, and because he has MASSIVE, billion dollar multinational corporations behind him, and the marketing geniuses that work there, he's able to parlay it into selling heaps of surf togs, sugar juice, and, i suspect beer kuzzies.

good on him.

and welcome to Capitalism 2.0!

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:34pm

billabong's mistake was not giving AI the flick years ago.

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benski Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:34pm

A) "I do guarantee you've enjoyed my writing in real life though. Bet the farm on it."

Very unlikely.

B) "I don't want you to like my writing. I don't want to be popular."

Laughable.

C) "So long"

See you soon.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:37pm

rottencramps, it's not your writing no one likes, its not your message either.

it's you.

you're just a whinging old drag.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:38pm

all the narcissist rottmouth has ever written about surfing is nothing but rehashed, reworked Lewis Samuels material circa 2008.

and the reason he's quit here again is either because NASCAR's Daytona 500 is on the tele live....

or he's got work to do, "proofreading" for the minor league players sponsored by the same corps who sponno the top shelf comp pros..

booyah!

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:42pm

oh, has anyone seen that Quiksilver advert clip of Dane falling off the Snapper rocks that is looped every 15 minutes on the event coverage?....

Genius.

Dane is even marketable as a lovable doofus.

love it!

Capitalism 2.0!

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:47pm

BIG QUERY...

let's take a poll...

on a scale of 1 to 10, how good do we think rottencramps surfs,

now not the rottencramps collective, (that is all his fill ins), THE REAL ROTTENCRAMPS, captain anonymous.

5.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 1:49pm

make that,

3.5

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:02pm

sid,

i know for a fact, he barley does.

so that makes him in the less than 1%.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:03pm

Joel is on the verge of taking out the on point surfer, Jules.

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stevenug Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:17pm

Same Leauge? Blas may be a crazy motherfucker but he writes from the heart. May not always show it on surf messageboards but he's a talented bastard.

Stu, of course that's something for the kids, for the future, after Babylonabongs ashes have been swept away.

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stevenug Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:43pm

I heard Hemingway was a shitty bullfighter. And had a stinkbug stance.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:49pm

Nuggies, you are a absolute no noting douchenozzle.... even if Billabong was to file BK tomorrow, the brand name is established, and will go on for eons.

There is always value in an established brand name.

Just ask Levi Strauss.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:50pm

And he wasn't a particularly good writer either, Nug.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 2:57pm

Great example/comparison.....

Ernie Hemingway was a notorious drunkard. seriously paranoid as well.... and died by his own hands, with a shotgun in his piehole.

For old rottkamo, the self admitted schizophrenic alcoholic who refuses treatment, instead chooses to mix prescription drugs with his sauce, it's just a matter of time.

the sorry old guy needs serious help.... and it's clearly not coming from the likes of you..... but, maybe you can blame Billabong when it ends horribly.

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suntory_bikkle Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:04pm

Yew…the Dream Tour's looking like ass, surprise, surprise! Blessedly NY is still on the docket:) Dane is still the man. Those looking for sameness might want to embrace a spurned senator from the keystone state.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:09pm

Bottom of the barrel writer in Hollywood beats writing propoganda for the Surf Industry Stu.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:15pm

nah, it doesn't. SS gets to surf more than you whinge.

the story so far,

QS Pro - success.

Dane Reynolds - failure.

As for the demise of BIGSurf Inc. ...

QS is already owned 30% by Private Equity... looks like the show rolls on.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:21pm

How 'bout trying to round out your act a bit, Brewser? You're very good at writing about concepts and ideas and applying them to the wider surf industry and culture. But hows about writing about surfing? Man on board. The feeling. Capture it in words we haven't read before. Paint a picture we've never seen before.

Surfing is, after all, an act. It is something you do and I've never read a single word about surfing from you.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:22pm

It goes without saying you'll need more than 140 characters to do so.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:25pm

Hollywood? those top shelf guys and girls who pull down massive crumbs, yet sustain the business model thru the use of underpaid personal assistants.... and total bullshite accounting practices, which screw all sorts of people their money?

Yea. Hollywood. Great comparison, rottkamp, mr hypocrite eggs.

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:29pm

Stu, great throwdown.

rottkamp would do as you requested..... but first he'll have to do a little reading...

before he plagiarizes Lewis Samules....

again.

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suntory_bikkle Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:30pm

Alas…I would like to fail like Dane! Mon Dieu, foot in mouth, NY has been sacked. WTF:)

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:37pm

Nuggie, you are so correct in your comparison, as like Ernie Hemingway, rottkamp too has those daddy issues...

and George Carlin summed up folks like him quite well...

"Warning! Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:48pm

Stu,

That's the most boring and pathetic thing anyone could write.

1. It's been done a billion times. No one cares.

2. Writing about surfing itself is like dancing about architecture.

Just read my last blog post. It's all spelled out. Just like this next year was spelled out in my second to last post.

And ask Shearer why he made up 1/3 of the comments on my blog if it was written by a "not so great writer?"

Perhaps The Roller can answer since he made up 50% of them.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 3:53pm

FREDDO PAWLE, fucking murdoch muppet.

him and 'cramps know as much as each other about surfing Snapper >

ZERO.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:04pm

rottencramps, ever surfed Snapper ?

burleigh ?

proper Kirra ?

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the-roller Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:05pm

sid, one more example how old rottkamp is full - o - it?...

the sector that signs his check, hollywood, employes advertising to sell their wares as well.

heh.

capitalism 2.0

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:07pm

@Brewser,

It was actually a genuine request, but fair enough if you don't want to. It's good to know your limitations.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:09pm

I'm with brutus, who the fuck is freddo pawle?

is he some Murdoch Press Sydney journo hack ?

stu ?

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shoredump Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:15pm

Cmon rottencramps, tell us a tale about surfing, else everyone here is just going to think your a paranoid man obsessed with industry. (Read: no cred.) Cmon mate...

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:19pm

I have massive limitations. First and foremost: not being boring. You may not like my movies, tv shows or even my half assert blog, but none of them are boring. I am not going to do what roughly every single surf blog has done and try to write words about an act that's profoundly personal. My ego is big, but not THAT big. There's a reason no surf writer has cracked a levity best seller list writing about the act if surfing.

As for Shearer, instead if recapitulating these events by borrowing ideas from his "old friends," how about asking some questions at the Connie? Like who financed Occ's stint in rehab last year? Same guys who did AI in?

I mean, for once Steve, shed the awe shucks I'm a broke hillbilly Gonzo routine who has no access and ask a fucking question that MEANS something. At least Hunter had balls. You've never asked a single interesting question, and you've had more access than ANYONE in Media 2.0. Hell, you've borrowed from all our Twitter feeds, so why not borrow the questions and get out if the foyer? Grab your bat and start swinging.

That's my advise since we're all into the giving spirit.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:20pm

Shoredump,

There are three years worth if yarns on my old blog. Bring your thinking cap.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:25pm

@Sid,

Fred has been up here at the Quik Pro. First time I've met him. He's definitely no hack but judging by the endless streams of Nescafe washed down with Winny Reds he fits the old-school journo stereotype.

Fred is proud of the fact that he's never worked for a surf mag yet I know for a fact he's written a few surf stories for them. Not exposes or scoops, but straight up surf stories.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:27pm

He's not as grumpy as I thought he'd be either. Funny the images we create...

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michael-peterson Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:29pm

@ Sid. Fred is far from a hack. He wrote the two articles linked below and is the only surf writer I am aware of that has been nominated for a Walkley Award (the highest honour in Australian journalism in case you didn't know). No other apparent surf journos were willing to tackle these two issues despite being very aware of the facts in both these cases.

http://stabmag.com/features/sarge.php

http://www.stabmag.com/individuals/king-of-queens.php

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michael-peterson Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:39pm

@ Stu.. Funny but when I saw Freddo the day before he went up the Quik Pro he wasn't a smoker and never has been before. A bit of artistic licence there perhaps?

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:41pm

Michael Peterson ladies, has just introduced his cock to your cheek.

Now, back to your regular scheduled Industry Puff Pieces.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:47pm

Stu Nettles, as evidenced in his pompous piece if back padding on ANCE radio has apparently been aware if surfings dark side for years. He even "laments" it.

Yet he did NOTHING.

Shearer lives right down the road from these stories. He too, did NOTHING.

But yeah, let's forget that and pick on Fred since he works for Murdoch... a man that has probably never read a single article of Pawles. And why would he. No one cares about surfing in the grand scheme.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:52pm

Sure, Billabong will be around for eons Roller, due to impressive branding. Just like OP.

And you won't even buy their stock while its dirt cheap. All talk Roller. As always.

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:54pm

Gotta say b.R. that Steve is layin down some killer tracks with these Snapper updates. Especially the part about getting his van broken into and making fun of Brothers lack of verbal skills.

You come across as bitter and lacking in facts Blas. I know you have it in you to rise back up from the ashes of Twitter but until you bring back your blog Shearer will continue to go Kelly on your ass. Sorry.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:56pm

@Brewser you petulant little flower,

I'm not picking on Fred Pawle - quite the contrary. But I would like to clear a few things up. When FP broke those stories I wasn't involved in the surf industry, writing or journalism of any kind. This writing and editing gig landed in my lap a couple of years ago. Call it a phase I'm going through.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:57pm

And further to Post-Mark's comment, Shearer is owning you Brewser.

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:58pm

And let it be known that if J Bay AND Cloudbreak are off the schedule then I am leaping off the Pali lookout and allowing my Fam to reap the life insurance spoils.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 4:58pm

As a surf forecasting website, you have all missed the biggest forecast if all... The Winds of Change.

Carry on, wayward sons.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:02pm

Stu,

Shearer is employed by you. You're using the same conflicted logic as the surf industry. If you didn't say Shearer was owning me, you'd fuck yourself into a corner.

If course Shearer us owning me. He's getting paid big bucks to write surf recaps.

How can I compete with that.

You win Matt Bransons Cock Ring. Using the post apocalyptic thread really suits you to a tee.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:04pm

'As a surf forecasting website, you have all missed the biggest forecast if all... The Winds of Change.'

Nah, that was in Monday's forecast notes.

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:04pm

Funny story. Was surfing oil slick 3 foot V Land on Friday and Pancho paddled out with Myles. Pancho sort of poached a couple of my sacred lefts and I struck up a little convo.

"The way I look at life is that I keep my expectations low," I said. " That way I increase my odds of happiness."

"I agree" was Panchos reply. " Every single session can't be filled with home runs." Thats right Panch. Gotta lay down a bunt now and then.

I know this has nothing to do with anything. Just thought it was a cool quote.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:06pm

And petulant flower has been used ad nauseum on this site. You guys got a single creative bone when it comes to mocking someone who can't write a good contest recap?

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:09pm

And btw maggots Jordy wins Snapper. Fuckin Donkey Cock is gonna OWN Slater so hard that Kalani might even get caught sneakin a peek.

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:10pm

Hey Brew if this site sucks so bad why have you left over 100 comments here in just 2 or 3 weeks?

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:13pm

Mark,

As uncool and oh-so-fucking-predictable it is for me to say, I reckon Parko is the one to beat. Just looked so damn sharp. And he's reading the invisible ink: picking the runners that the others can't see. Vital in these conditions.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:15pm

Mark,

It's building to something "special." It will make everything I wrote on my blog seem tame. I didn't expect all this to happen so fast. I thought it would take longer. But the Industry is already done. And that's all ill say. Btw... Any of you smart fellers know what Lindy Irons dad does / did for a living? Hee hee.

Also, when I leave, its fun to watch the Interest, hits, and comments dissapear.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:16pm

This blog will be called Media 1.0 in the piece.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:19pm

Apologies ahead of time though. It will not be a recap if a shitty surfing contest. So it won't be nearly as great as Shearer's Pulitzer work here.

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victor Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:20pm

rottie ,matt bransons cock ring banging against your ringpiece while shearer lets a load go in your mouth, cmon mate thats gotta be your dream session...

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post-mark Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:21pm

@Brew

You are not as special as you think you are. Hurts me to say that buddy but it's true. I had some memorable times on your Blog and I really did appreciate the effort you put forth to keep it going.

Too bad you spoiled the party by buying into Twitter so hard. Made me feel like Jennifer Anniston after Brad bailed her for the whore.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:29pm

Mark,

Twitter is NOW. Bigger audience. More interaction. My blog was only meant to be one single blog that Lewis Samuels asked me to do. I just kept going for cathartic fun. If you don't like Twitter fine. Like most people in surfing, they are always late to anything meaningful.

But when you read something here, its already old news on Twitter.

Problem is, you have to be quick witted to make it work right. And I guess that's why Swellnet has only 500 followers.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:31pm

And I'll never be as special as you Mark. You wear that helmet, steer that wheelchair with your straw, and ride that shortbus proud amigo.

You're trying hardest!

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:35pm

'And I guess that's why Swellnet has only 500 followers.'

Could also be that we've only sent two Tweets, one of them in 2009.

Pretty good result, eh Brewser? 250 followers per Tweet.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:41pm

Yeah Stu, impressive for a commercially funded blog. Real impressive.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:42pm

Thanks...

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:43pm

Your Facebook followers and likes are equally impressive.

Like I said, get Bong now while they're cheap. The Roller may not be confident enough to buy them but you should.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:48pm

fuck me dead, an MP impersonator, just what the world needs.

biggest fuck up since...???

since MP, that's forsure.

freddo pawle, walkley award, YES, but he know anything about surfing ? NO.

rottencramps, your blog failed because....drum roll...no one wants to read your shit.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:51pm

I'll be in Twitter tomoz... Like always. Any if you nutless twigs wants to go toe to toe join up and have fun.

And why is Shearer limited to only writing recaps here. The only creative writing I've seen from him was on my blog.

What gives?

You don't trust him?

Or is creativity a no no here?

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:52pm

yep, right on stu.

rottencramps is currently being spit roasted between SS and Hollywood.

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stevenug Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:54pm

Yes Mark. How goes it?

Btw, Stu/Steve/Ben sorry about telling America about this place. Sorry and you're welcome.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:54pm

no one reads your blog or twitter.

have fun screaming at the mirror.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 5:57pm

Sid,

I quit blogging two days after my highest number of unique hits.

And Steve Shearer, Stu Nettles, Fred Pawle, The Roller, Clogging Evers and Alex Leonard were all regular commentors. Steve Shearer commented more than anyone besides The Roller and probably Mike Mantalos.

You stepped in WHAT Sid?

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:00pm

'Tis OK, Nug.

Some of us quite enjoy your quaint American customs. I've seen American tele, I know that when the Noo York cab driver screams at me he really has my best interests at heart.

Same as Brewser.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:01pm

And Sid, the reason I quit my blog is because more people read Twitter.

Can you tell me how many people read this or any Surf Media 1.0?

Ask Ben Matson to tell you. He can break it down real good. He's an IT freak. Shearer should have talked to him before publishing that propoganda on Chopes.

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:01pm

'Tis OK, Nug.

Some of us quite enjoy your quaint American customs. I've seen American tele, I know that when the Noo York cab driver screams at me he really has my best interests at heart.

Same as Brewser.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:01pm

no one gives a fuck.

living in the past.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:04pm

rottencramps, have you clocked 13,000 twits yet ?

dickhead.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:16pm

The Only interest I have is burning the ASP Corpo Politico System to the ground.

Nothing else.

That's why I am here tonight. Slowly bleeding the life from the wolf cloaked in lamb's wool.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:19pm

jesus, you must surf bad.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 6:23pm

eh?

never had fun surfing those wonky little winders at snapper,

boardies, sunshine, no leggy and loose.

you'll love up there PacNW, the cold water will suit your uptightness.

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p-funk Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:12pm

I went to the connest yestdee. (Goldy farrrrkin talk, ayyyyeee)

1. If running out of things to commentate about - always refer back to the fact that it'll be way better on the lower tide.

2. Make it completely obvious to everyone in the entire world that the chicks division is only there for entertainment when the surf turns to complete dog shit, but never admit it in as many words.

3. It would appear half of Coolangatta are 'VIP' according to my statistics

4. Old mate Didgeridoo liked to mumble things to nobody in particular as he cruised round in his crocs busting out a few 'carn surf dont be so shithouse' numbers on his 'doo. He thought he was killing it. I'm not so sure...

5. Took some good shots when ignorant whales with severe hail damage and hungry arses werent walking in front of my lens

6. The surf club has completely inadequate kitchen trading hours of between 11am and 2pm. Had to eat 2 packets of crisps and drink 4 goldy schooies to stay alive. Get your shit together management.

7. Those blokes surf farkin' good, aye.

So how about it Stu? Reckon my bullet point summaries could have a place on here? You have my details......

Hi Rotty xoxo

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stunet Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:23pm

Been working on my own connest recap, P-funk, but I think I'll just bin it now.

How is old didge dude? From what I've heard he's not actually playing it as a didge should be played. You know, circular breathing, reverberations inside he hollow tube, he's just blowing into it, honking away and making a noise. Provides a bit of colour though.

I reckon there's more tatts per square kilometre than anywhere else in Australia up here. As a clean skin I'm feeling distinctly out of place. The Goldy has to rival the North Shore for tough sticker proliferation. And so many of them are BAD. Not bad as in bad ass, but bad as in tragic. Horrible, horrible tatts fading to blue on sun-ripened arms and torsos.

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dan-burke Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 7:27pm

fuck this i'm going surfing. and from what i've tried to trawl through in the comments here, even paddling into a 25 knot southerly'd be a better choice. rest assured i won't ever be googling anything b-r does. geez shearer, sad to see you've been hijacked by clowns!

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shoredump Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:48pm

Rotty, if u are angry, u are unhealthy.

Relax.

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sidthefish Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 8:51pm

stu, what no tatts ?

clean skin ?

you fucken rebel, man.

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p-funk Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:42pm

Indeed the tough sticker brigade were out in force. I saw one fine upstanding member of society with so many of our all time favorites such as "no regrets" and the beyond murdered Southern Cross that he could have saved himself a few months pay and just had 'cliche goldy tuff nut' tattooed across his entire body. You're not a local unless you got ink Stu....

The only tattoo I've ever seen on the GC that looked like it belonged was owned by a hard-nut loan shark who ended up in the slammer for beating the shit out of someone within an inch of their life. He was a massive bloke who used to drive a mint matt black 60's Camaro around Main Beach that had an engine that sounded like it ran on straight Satan's fart and an exhaust that ended somewhere around 3 inches from the heads. He had 'FUCK AUTHORITY" tattooed in large reverse typeface across his back. I believed him.

CleanSkin4Eva

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p-funk Tuesday, 28 Feb 2012 at 9:46pm

Anyway, a fiver on Parko or Taj.

More importantly, where and when do they think they're gonna wrap this thing? Surely a barby and an esky full of tins in Bede's backyard wouldn't be out of the question given the forecast?

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 12:24am

with the waves going flat use an applause meter and the best tat wins

no tat 'rebel ' comment - hilarious.

What are you doing for Mother Earth this fine day?

webisodes of the WCT are good for a laugh - but I have to admit this thread is better!

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 4:00am

This article got "4 Likes" on Facebook. Hit this contest recap out of the park.

And Steve,

You may want to talk to Fred Pawle again today. On Twitter there are some funny words going back and forth about your so-called "interviews" going on.

Keep it up big fella.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 4:04am

You may want to come clean and tell everyone here you never had any "one on one conversations" with anyone. You were just filming other people interviewing people and using their answers to frame them in your context. I guess that's "Gonzo" eh?

Media 1.0 baybeh.

Stroking away. Literally. Aneurysm is eminent.

Oh and Stu,

Let Shearer write something creatively on here so we can see just how great a writer Steve really is. He can't interview anyone, doesn't know how to ask a goddam question of any relevance, has zero balls, but he sure can crack that thesaurus and use pretty words to to describe one of the most insignificant events in sport: a surf contest.

Yew!

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:03am

@b-r
where did all this animosity come from? Does it improve your day to berate stu over and over? Will the effect be a hiccup in the earth's rotation? what is your long term desired result? everyone is aware you think stu plagiarizes everything - does repetition make it more effective?
how much time do you spend composing your comments? how much time do you spend out-of-doors daily-weekly-monthly?
do you have a life? did you ever work? did you ever surf? did you ever work every day of your life for months on end to go on an extended surf trip to get away from the hustle-bustle?

Take a vacation and keep a diary - I bet that would be interesting to see where you would go and what your daily routine would be.

jest sayin'

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:05am

@p-funk - i got 5 that says your ONE pick is wrong!

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:21am

z,

old rottkamp did the diary thing.... and kept everyone well informed in the comment section of his now defunct blog.... always going on and on about the big checks he pulled from working in Hollywood and TV.

Hollywood, that place where no one is a slobbering drunkard. Hollywood, where no one is addicted to subsatances, or caught abusing drugs... never busted for abusing people,... Hollywood, the place where no one in the biz ever died from overdoses.

Yea, Hollywood.

and Rottkamp, fuking hypocrite kook.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:21am

Z-Man,

I am the angriest person on the planet. And that's with alcohol, Xanax, Zoloft, Thorazine, and Nyquil washing down an occasional Ambien so I can get 3 hours of sleep at night. I am writing season two of the most successful project I've ever worked on. I got a broken hand so I can't surf. So I'm stressed.

But seeing what's happened to surfing over the past three decades just fuels my rage.

And Stu and Steve are the epitome of EVERYTHING that is wrong with Surf Media. Easier targets like Nick Carroll and Tim Baker don't work because they love and flaunt their status as Industry Whores.

Stu and Steve are wolves in sheep's clothing, corralling empty headed people into thinking they're some sort of... something. The whole thing must be destroyed so surfing can be free from the corporate propoganda and bullshit once and for all.

Steve passes off these contest recaps as though he's actually talking to people and doing something. He's done nothing. Just like everyone else in Surf Media for 30 years. Stu asking me to write about a man riding a surfboard shows exactly where his head is at... stuck up his own asshole. Write about the act of surfing? That's as stupid and boring as writing about cumming. It's only cool when you're the one actually cumming. I don't want to read about other people cumming. If I want to cum, I jack off or get my wife drunk enough to fuck me.

I am angry.

So fucking what?

I am punk rock and you are Jack Johnson.

Deal with it.

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:23am

rottkamp, that old drunken pilled up schizophrenic, is up in here, and every surf site known to man, attempting to bust the balls of those who surf or make a living thru surfing?

Heh... to his hypocrite egss!

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:25am

The Roller,

The Surf Industry is not even remotely similar to the Hollywood Industry.

Comparing athletes and "sports" to entertainers only works if your logic jumps off the Empire State Building.

My brain is too valuable for that.

Go buy Bong stocks if you love them so much - Hypocrite.

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:30am

Interesting how no one here wanted to touch Michael Petersen's comments earlier.

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:37am

stocks don't know you own 'em, so in the big picture, it does not matter if i or you own 'em....

but, yea, as to owning shares of BBG, thanks to sid's mention/suggestion weeks ago, i own 'em at a buck.... waiting on an increased bid over 3 bones, or a successful management lead turnaround.

and, i i'll back up the truck on some ZQK today! the competitive event has been great. even if it's not epic Snaps, it's decent, it's warm times, good weather, the dudes and gals in the event are killing it, very copetitive. the interactiveness of Quik's site is sweet as, camera work and commentary is decent,... and the grommets in the junior event were ripping better than most of the top shelf guys.... those top shelf'ers had better been watching those jr heats, as many could have learned that in this comp you'd better just go out and surf 'em like a regular session, and stop riding so conservative and cautious.

thanks for the stock tips. you can keep track of the future results from this day forward.

oh, and hey Mark, what's the haps, brah?

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:49am

Congrats Roller.

You're a full fledged owner in The Industry.

Your commentary will be judged as such.

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:49am

you are right, the surf industry is not like Hollywood....

Hollywood is stacked as hell against anyone who's not in the club.... nepotism rules the roost.... Hollywood's accounting practices are suspect... the big boys make their huge sacks of bank off the backs of their underpaid and overworked assistants, who do the majority of the work.... and no one has ever died of serious alcohol and drug abuse....

yea, Hollywood sucks... and at the end of the day, that's who signs your paycheck.

Heh... hypocrite.

Now, do you, your wife and your children a BIG favor,... go get in a recovery program... before it's too late, and your kids end up with a dysfunctional parent,... like so many of Hollywood's elite children have.... and they too end up being FUBAR to 'da max.

the winds have switched, the swell is decent, so i'm off to grab a chunk of 'em.... see you all later when the comp reconvenes.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rottkamp

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hypocrite+eggs

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:54am

IMPOSSIBLE that you're the angriest person in the world! That's my next door neighbor. Thank God he's a quarter mile away!

Hoolywoild? Been there back when.(we used to cruise up there on our motorcycles just to look at the freaks on Sunset on a Saturday nite- then cruise over the hill to the valley and cruise Van Nuys Blvd. -no clue how we survived)
Met a few 'stars' - most, but not all, a bunch of team members on the 'other' team - no thank you maam!

The surf industry? I met John Severson in Capistrano Beach one day while working on the asst ed. for Surfer mag. house. Nice guy. I remodeled his house in Cyprus Shores right in front of Cottons Points(cant tell you what went on on the deck overlooking) If I knew how I would post some old photos I have in this comment section!!! THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE WHOMEVER RESPONSIBLE CHANGE -NOW! IF NOT SOONER!!!

The industry is a for profit - what else would you like to know?

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 5:55am

sure rottkamp, sure..... in my case, the glass is never half full or half empty... i'm an opportunist, i'm merely drinking the glass while the pessimist and the optimist argue.

and a stock has no idea who owns 'em..

http://www.jamescox.com.au/stock-doesnt-know-you-own-it-warren-buffet-vi...

now go get yourself in a drug and alcohol program, pronto. before your behavior really starts to have a permanent effect on your young'ns.

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the-roller Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 6:03am

you are so right, z-man....

Hollywood.

and Ben Steins little piece sums up old rottkamp, his personality, and why he acts like a farking douchenozzle, quite well.

http://books.google.com/books?id=vpMeLwj1KSoC&pg=PA41&lpg=PA41&dq=how+ho...

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blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 6:14am

I don't want to know anything about you Z-Man.

I want to know why Stu, Steve and the rest of Surf Media have chosen not to talk about the dark side of surfing. There are a million blogs dedicated to the dark side of Hollywood, and any other major sport and Corporation. In surfing? No. Because it's the bottom of the barrel. You lose your job in the Surf Industry and you got no place to go but driving a bus and cleaning toilets.

The Industry sells access as a way to keep people quite about its nefarious activities.

In Hollywood, everyone knows what's going on. It's no secret. Books that are cooked in major corporations get taken down every day in the paper.

Not so in surfing.

There is no Journalism in Surfing.

As Michael Petersen said earlier, Fred Pawle, and to some extent Brad Melekian are the ONLY two that can be called journalists in any way. And all The Industry does is give them shite for it because they aren't part of the bro-down bullshit.

I can tell you this. Pawle ain't going to take Shearer ripping off his interviews for long. Look out mah'fuckers.

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 6:46am

But b-r you already do

can you un-know it?

selective amnesia?

I'm sticking with p-funk - she keeps me coming back for more!

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z-man Wednesday, 29 Feb 2012 at 7:29am

@b-r

what ever happened to Mitch Coleburn and his obscenity charges in Canada. You must be up to date on that 'dark' incident?