Joel Parkinson: Under the Armour

Steve Shearer picture
Steve Shearer (freeride76)
Swellnet Dispatch

"What can be said at all can be said clearly, and what we cannot talk about we must pass over in silence."- Wittgenstein

This story is about Parko. You probably figured that out already. Us Parko tragics have learned to pay attention to the small things, to consider everything in the minutest detail, because believe me, everything counts. Pay attention here sports fans, we are learning together. We are embarking on this journey with open minds and hearts, in an effort to engage with an artist of our times. He has strength, he has flexibility, he has repertoire. Above all, he has the music in his blood. The blood music which makes a symphony, when he, Joel Parkinson, son of a bricklayer from Coolangatta, rides a surfboard.

When I asked him what capacity of his he had improved most in his pointbreak surfing he answered, "Rhythm...doing the right thing at the right time". There is nothing revolutionary in that, Joel is not prone to emotional verbosity. But I asked him other things as well, and we will get to these other things, these things that people don't like to talk about in public. This could get very weird, very quickly. You have been warned.

The grin is still there, but now it wears a different complexion, the jaw sets into something like a grimace, and a wry smile marked by the bitter disappointment of loss spreads across the face. Two years in a row ripped asunder by injury. The first in a year when it seemed that the Title would be granted him by divine providence after crushing wins in succession at Kirra, Bells and J-Bay. We all saw the agonisingly humiliating final scene; pitched from the lip at Pipeline like a rank beginner against a wildcard whose name is long since forgotten. Then the famous hoof, ripped almost in two by his fin at the homebreak. And then the death of close friend and bulwark against the imperiousness of Slater - Andy Irons. There was family life on the other side of darkness for Andy. A life like Parko's, where kids frolic in the shorebreak and men glow with patriarchal content as they gaze with proud eyes on the fruits of their loins. Andy wanted that too, in a way that Slater could never understand.

It's quite possible, during the early stages of Joel's career, feted by media as one of the Coolie Three and blessed by the accidental genius of the human hand to enjoy the Superbank in it's prime, that he didn't have the self-belief to become World Champion. It was Fanning who first learnt to jettison the peripheral and destructive aspects of his character to become the champ. There's no doubting the self-belief now. The emotional fuse is kept on slow burn. What was broken has now been fixed. Anyone doubting the desire, still trapped in the past with the goofy grin is severely mistaken.

Creepy Austrian cat Ludwig Wittgenstein probably wasn't talking about surfing when he stated the following: "To understand what human beings produce you must understand how they act, why they act and the meaning that they give to what they do." But it illuminates an important part of the picture. Joel produces professional surfing. The meaning of professional surfing is to win a World Title. The how of Joel's surfing is the lineage of Australian surfing. It is a culmination of careful breeding and training. As a teenaged boy Joel was trained in the mindset of oriental warfare by Bugs. The highwater mark of that thinking is 'rising to the occasion'.

But it was Andy Irons, with his penchant for the potent symbol of the rising sun, who was able to master that dictum. And Joel who suffered at the hands of Slater, at Bells, in France and Spain and Hawaii. And now Andy's dead.

I wondered has he come in death to give Joel the support he gave in life? "Have you seen him since?" "Yeah, he's come to me in dreams."

Open minds sports fans. But this is crazy talk. Pure mumbo jumbo. Can this even be talked about? The idea that somehow AI in death could be an ally for Joel. Provide some kind of spiritual sustenance to Joel through the year, and may be there in the clutch moments when a World Title is on the line.

But this is a mad world we live in, that's one thing we can count on.

We've got to put this thing back on solid ground. To that end I'm overjoyed to relate that Joel Parkinson is fit and in fine fettle. Well trained and of sober habits, as they say. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that after Brazil, the G-land ruse and the long, long break, during which the Indian Ocean has been whipped by savage storms and long-period groundswells, that this J-Bay event would have to be the most highly anticipated event...maybe ever.

Joel's only enemy now is the forecast. Which looks grim for real J-Bay. Like he has shown for the memory of AI, he must display compassion, boundless compassion for himself. Allow mistakes to happen and maintain composure. Let the music flow.

Parko surfs against Dane Reynolds and Alejo Muniz in Heat 12 Round 1.You've got shit for brains if you miss it.

STOP PRESS: Reynolds out, Slater on the fence.

Comments

ricep's picture
ricep's picture
ricep Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 12:33am

Hate to Burst your bubble outsider but Parko was a DREAM TOUR surfer where the top 44 battled it out in the best breaks in the world.It was a time when pro surfers really were king and the best surfer actually won the contest in waves that truly displayed the difference between pro surfers and joe air reverse. Alas he does not fit in with the new beach break tour and will struggle against the emerging brazilian onslaught. Sure he will still have his wins when the surf is worthy but other than that he is finished, a relic of a bygone era.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 12:50am

I am not so sure Parko is an Alpha Dog.

I could see him posing for a picture behind Johnny Gannon just like Taj.

Xlater, Mick, Andy? Not a chance in hell.

But I've been wrong before.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 12:51am

I do hope nothing else that cums in Parko's dreams got on your face during that interview though Shep. Heh heh, wink, wink.

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 1:59am

Joel's only enemy is the forecast? Big call. And hardly evidence-based.

Given (for good or bad) that the dominant paradigm is "Pro Surfing 2011", Parko needs much more to his repertoire than he's shown to date.

Yes, he was sublime at Easter. But he quickly came back to the pack in Rio.

And what is this obsession with Parko about anyway??? Last time I checked, there were at least 30 other surfers on the WT with stories of their own.

the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2 Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 2:04am

Did you ask Parko about the goiter on his neck? (see homepage) Looks serious.

boxright's picture
boxright's picture
boxright Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 2:52am

You got Parko on speed dial now?! How do you justifying your 'Outsider' status then. Conduct all your interviews in the open?

cyclone71's picture
cyclone71's picture
cyclone71 Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 5:07am

Let's get one thing straight Parko is no relic and is a genuine title contender, currently in 2nd and heading into JBay an event he has owned. His smooth lines and down the line rail surfing may be his key strengths but only a fool would write off his barrel riding and aerial attack. 2009 was Parko's year until an unfortunate injury and look what a year on the sidelines did for Fanning. I hope JBay turns it on and JParko takes the win. 180 airs and chop hops will never replace power surfing and foam ball barrels. Go Joel!!

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 6:05am

Oh. Okay then. I'm convinced.

Erm. We probably should tell the judges.

w-yne's picture
w-yne's picture
w-yne Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 9:00am

ricep you moron how can you say Joel is a 'relic of a bygone era'. Rabbit Bartholomew is a relic of a bygone era. Duke Kahanamoku is a relic of a bygone era. Parko is CURRENTLY ranked in the WCT, winning contests. You say he was part of the dream tour where pro surfers were distinguished from 'joe air reverse', yet claim that brazilian beachbreak surfing is the way of the future? A humourous self-contradiction indeed. If you doubt Parko's small-wave performance maybe reflect on his Haleiwa win last year... or the fact that his local waves are predominantly sand-bottomed... pull your head out of the sank, kook.

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 2:45pm

The forecast being what it is, J-Bay connest may prove to be a one-hop-flip-grab-pull-boost-punt, winner take all.
How many pros have those down? (all of 'em)

ricep's picture
ricep's picture
ricep Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 9:29pm

Hold on there W-yne last name Kerr by any chance? I am stating that Parko had his chance when the waves where actually good on tour, which suited his style of surfing. Now that the tour is basically reliving the 80's in beachbreak slop Parko will suffer and the Brazilians will rise to the top. In this sense Parko's style of surfing has been relegated. Sorry break the news to you but Parko will never be world champ. Mark my words

non-local's picture
non-local's picture
non-local Thursday, 14 Jul 2011 at 10:00pm

ricep has Parko pissed you off out at Snapper by any chance? Why so down on him? What's with the love with Brazilians, are you one of them? Is Kelly a relic too?

lindo's picture
lindo's picture
lindo Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 3:28am

Although not much of a contest groupie, I do agree Parko is one of very few of the current crop that has any sense of individual style about his surfing, in an analagous sense to Occy or Rasta, or indeed his uncle Darryl (my era on Sunnie Coast) - and much more so than Slater or Fanning, who doubtless are technically excellent surfers, as proven by their contest successes, but lack the finesse of Parko. As to most of the others, they remind me of trained monkeys with all their alley ooops and rodeo clown whatthe****s. They all surf the same lines, with back foot firmly placed on the tail, flicking their light little boards around in the slop. This trend will no doubt spread if the apparent increase in crap-wave contest sites continues. As to the regularly regurgitated claim that these are the BEST surfers in the world, one crucial word is missing: 'contest'. There are hundreds if not thousands of equally proficient surfers as the top 32, as can be witnessed at numerous locations around the world on any good swell - the difference being they don't have the competitive drive / financial motivation / media craving / modelling ambitions of the fortunate few.

cyclone71's picture
cyclone71's picture
cyclone71 Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 4:59am

Big call ricep stating that Parko will never be world champ, how about you put your money where your mouth is and tell us who will be world champ this year?

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 7:10am

Damn those bloody trained monkeys...they get all the good-looking chimps.

samgreen's picture
samgreen's picture
samgreen Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 7:41am

agreed with w-yne, parko might be one of the best in good quality overhead waves but he is versatile enough to rip in small waves. anyone who watched him at the burleigh breaka pro this year doing airs and awesome turns over the rocks at 1ft burleigh can attest. he came second to taj (probably the best in small waves) and wouldve won for sure if he landed another one of his airs. sure he's more at an advantage in a 'dream tour' scenario, but still a massive contender along with mick, jordy and taj this year.

samgreen's picture
samgreen's picture
samgreen Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 7:50am

interesting points lindo, not sure if you understand the nuances that go into the top 32's preparation and performances. sure there are some of the guys that are almost at qualification level (think yadin nicol etc) and the "uber wildcards" like sean holmes but no way is there hundreds of surfers as skilled as them. maybe a few dozen similar to the guys making up the numbers like raoni moneiro, gabe kling but top 10ers like mick, taj, owen and their ilk? they live and breath surfing, are able to fine tune their technique due to it being their job and have surfed for most of their lives. so don't tell me that the 30 year old head local at your home break could mix it with them haha

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 11:56am

I dunno - I just don't get that hungry World-Title-is-mine vibe from Parko, like I get from Mick. Almost seems like he's always in cruise mode. Parko's one of my favourite surfers on tour but I just can't see him clinching the crown.

whaaaat's picture
whaaaat's picture
whaaaat Friday, 15 Jul 2011 at 12:13pm

My call? J-dub.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Saturday, 16 Jul 2011 at 3:34am

Ben, thats one of the most common misperceptions of Parko: that he is not as hungry for a Title as, say, Mick is.

He was utterly, utterly devastated by his Title flub/choke/injury loss in '09.

But desire must be harnessed into the correct mental state for peak performance, and in Parko's case that means a certain amount of calm focus.

As other's have correctly stated though, his performance advantages in classic surf are being negated somewhat by the current direction of the Tour schedule.

In my eyes(and those of Slater's btw), that constitutes a travesty and a disgrace.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Saturday, 16 Jul 2011 at 4:41am

Sure, the tour's heading in a different direction Steve. But even with a higher percentage of prime locations in the past, there's never been a guarantee of perfect waves at every stop. This year's J-Bay being a good example.

As such, Parko's 'performance advantages in classic surf' is probably not enough for a World Title.

Don't get me wrong - I'd love him to win. I just can't see it happening, irrespective of the tour's direction.