The Russians are coming!
“The Russians are coming!” said my grizzled old buddy while surfing Old Man’s at Canggu.
“I think they’ve been here a while,” I responded.
“No, look!” He was pointing towards the distant shorebreak and he was right. Here they came, pushing all manner of surfcraft through the washing machine of the shorey, some one barking orders from the rear. It was one of those days when you could really do without a bunch of Russkie kooks in the break. Too big for the river mouth, the new swell had forced us up the beach looking for something with a shoulder at either Old Man’s or Tugu Lefts. They were there if you picked them, but you really didn’t need to be distracted by a girl with immaculate facial bone structure lying on a softboard at the bottom of your wave.
There are Russians and there are Russians, of course. And the early adopters have been on Bali for quite a while, some of them developing into quite good surfers. The majority of those who have developed the basic skills, however, have come from a grounding in other sports, such as windsurfing and kite-surfing, and don’t necessarily understand the etiquette needed to make surfing Bali’s ever more crowded southern coast to some degree pleasurable. Some, perhaps emulating Putin, seem to be on a never-ending quest to win the machismo award of the day, which might well be the girl with the high cheek bones, in which case this is understandable, but not forgivable.
No-one even knows any more how many Russian surf schools and surf camps there are in the Canggu area, but it’s a lot. And most are distinguished from their Western European counterparts by an even greater need to do everything together, and quickly. And when you have everything to learn and so little time, there is nothing to smile about. Racial stereotyping is all kinds of wrong, but when you see a pack of earnest, unsmiling, grunting Russians paddling and flapping towards you, political correctness goes out the window.
Old grizzled mate and I paddled out to the bommie and left them to it, but I was reminded again of the Russian invasion later in the day when I met up with Beri and Rok, the publisher and editor of a local magazine that I had taken to be by and for Russians. “Oh, no, no, no,” said Rok, the publisher. “I am from Slovenia and Beri is from Croatia. We are not like Russians.”
Rok left it dangling, so to speak, but over a few Bintangs, I got the message loud and clear that their point of difference was that they had been in Bali longer, could surf better, didn’t drop in and had even better looking women. Yet another surf-crazed ethnic community at the crossroads of the world. And I haven’t even mentioned the Israelis and the mainland Chinese. Once upon a time on the Bukit we worried about the Brazilians and the French, and then, of course, the locals became the problem. As photographer Dick Hoole often says, “Next time we discover paradise we won’t teach the locals to surf.”
But that bird has flown. Today in Bali there is only one way to handle the incredible melting pot of surfing society. Look on in awe and wonder as they plummet down the face, or else amaze you with their unexpected skills. The Olympic dream is nigh. In Bali, if nowhere else, everyone from everywhere wants to surf. //PHIL JARRATT
Comments
Yes a couple of years ago at Balangan it was about 2 foot off the point and the Ruskies had a comp. Big speakers, DJ, smirnoff flags fluttering and they had the look down - tats, blonde hair, latest bordies, similar looking girl friends, however the surfing was abysmal. Very funny looking from the outside in. Another time these two gorgeous bikini clad girls in stiletto heals stumbled down the Ulu steps (this was a few years ago before single fin, etc..) with couple of gangsters in tow replete with gold chains, steroid muscles and shorty shorts. You could hear the jaws dropping that day.
An aussie expat has just offloaded a cliff top property on Bukit for mega bucks to the ruskis ,so expect a lot more Russian surfers at ulu balangan stretch.
Thanks Udo just what I wanted to hear.
Finding it hard to embrace the Russians but its entertaining when they are learning to surf Padang rights and get sucked down to impossibles and then become cannon fodder. The look on their faces is priceless as booming sets coming marching down the reef.
Phil you have something for the immaculate facial bone structure...?
The other body parts would be more distracting I believe.
Utter fuckwits. Scream rascism if you want.
Call me a warlord Clif, But I do believe I prefer the threat of violence to the Russian invasion.
Just as we made our great nation, Australians are masters at invading someone's land and bitching interminably when another group of people just behind them would like to do the same thing but with better resources.
Racism again!
They are hard to embrace.
The Russian chick/surfcoach I met said even she doesn't like "Russian personalty"
Russia isn't a race you numbnuts.
it's a country with mostly caucasian people in it.
Oh cool, so its not racist to admire their high cheekboned women whilst wondering if Drago will crush me with his bare hands for admiring his high cheekboned woman.
I'd call them a race. Just because they don't have dark skin and flared nostrils doesn't make them genealogically related in an immediate sense to most Aussies.
Race doesn't have any real biological reality I don't think. Someone that is twenty percent Aboriginal can be subject to rascism because of it.
But let's just concentrate on the matter at hand shall we..... Of course all Russians aren't fuckwits - but 95 percent of the ones I've met were ,cut and dried.
Anyone seen Putin surfing over there? Heard when he came to oz for G20 he was going to show Abott how it was done.
You are a regular Ghenghis Khan, freeride haha
It's Bali! Hella crowded. Aussies everywhere! Those Aussie ... Perhaps it's us that are the problem ;-)
And the Chinese are coming! (Sarcasm intended). There's not many surfing yet and those that are surfing are super friendly and polite. So, don't panic.
How about TALKING to some of those Russian women surfers ABOUT surfing rather then objectifying them again. This isn't a teen surf mag. Caarn, Phil. We know you're a good writer.
Clif sorry I have found it hard to warm to the Ruskies. Tried chatting but they are really short, sharp and edgy verging on aggressive. It has got to be something to do with what a shitful country they live in. It has the most depressing history of any nation in the world. Their great writers would make you want to slit your wrists and if you thought our politics were ratty we are a utopia in comparison to Russia. Any country who has had a Stalin in their past has issues and now with an ex KGB running the show, they are doomed.
Hey settle down fellas my wife is half Russian.
Drinks vodka and is always in a fuckin hurry.