The Search Ends Here

Stu Nettle picture
Stu Nettle (stunet)
Surfpolitik

In the advertising world we're told that the search never ends, yet in the real world - that is to say, on the internet - all searches reach a destination. And quite a few of them end up here on Swellnet. Thanks to a wee piece of software we can see the search terms that lead to Swellnet and in turn which issues are most troubling surfers today. It would seem the search for the perfect wave has taken some curious online deviations.

All these are recent searches that led to Swellnet:

Does kelly slater have a private jet?
How do you anchor an artificial reef?
Who are the Bells Beach steak holders?
What are those things that look like ropes that surfers wear on their arms or legs?
Why are the waves so small at manly?
Picture of a kangaroo surfing
What is jeff schmucker's problem
Optimum number of fins on a surfboard
Was kirra really that good?
Is 60 too old to wear surf clothes?
Billabong's target marke?t
Is Billabong old fashioned?
What happened to Billabong?
Problems with buying surfboards from china
Joel parkinson and the shed of sin
Perth surf where?

But not everyone ends up on Swellnet because we know what a legrope is and how to anchor an artificial reef, some people actively seek Swellnet, they just don't know how to fucken spell it. Amongst the myriad variations of s-w-e-l-l-n-e-t are:

sweellnet, sewllnett, swelnte, swelnett, swel.net, and really too many to list.

Comments

top-to-bottom-bells's picture
top-to-bottom-bells's picture
top-to-bottom-bells Tuesday, 25 Jun 2013 at 5:31pm

#3, Brutus having a BBQ at Bells?

perthsurf's picture
perthsurf's picture
perthsurf Wednesday, 26 Jun 2013 at 4:47pm

How dare you countless internet users, it was pumping today.

brutus's picture
brutus's picture
brutus Wednesday, 26 Jun 2013 at 7:11pm

sorry TTBB,I am a bloody vego,and have been for 40 years.....interesting though that the council here thinks that all users are stakeholders..and surfers are just one of many...we are slamming them with we are the real stakeholders and will not back down....very interesting times....

and what is the shmuckers problem...I don't think he has one....he's our problem!!!

optimum fins..7 sounds right.....theres some funny shit on the list.....

wellymon's picture
wellymon's picture
wellymon Wednesday, 26 Jun 2013 at 7:51pm

Theres fuck all surf in Perth.

@ Brutus good on you for being a vego, Thats unreal, I honestly think that it's so important, clear head, mind and don't feel full. I did Yoga for years and still do a little but not enough, I love my pork tho, was hunting those devious bastards for years.
Thats probably why I'm not Jewish I suppose?

Does this search end here on Pork? or nice Garlic and Zuccihinis
fried with olive oil with some chopped up chilli, Yeah now we're talking, unreal can't wait thats what I'm eating tonight, with some Barramundi.

samuelnorwood's picture
samuelnorwood's picture
samuelnorwood Thursday, 27 Jun 2013 at 10:40am

Haha Jeff what's your problem? Google famous!

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Thursday, 27 Jun 2013 at 4:24pm

To the person/people currently searching: No, Kelly Slater doesn't have a private jet.

wellymon's picture
wellymon's picture
wellymon Thursday, 27 Jun 2013 at 8:58pm

Bummer I thought I mite be able to get a ride?

Some how!

laury's picture
laury's picture
laury Friday, 28 Jun 2013 at 9:23pm

I googled 'penis pump repairer ' and smuck came up

pussyrioters's picture
pussyrioters's picture
pussyrioters Friday, 28 Jun 2013 at 9:30pm

Is Smucks an approved and accredited penis pump repairer?
I had the runs last week so googled "soft little shit" and got Smuckhole

drjeffie-mrhyde_2's picture
drjeffie-mrhyde_2's picture
drjeffie-mrhyde_2 Friday, 28 Jun 2013 at 10:34pm

JEFFIIE: Wat is our problem ? Why do you think we a soft little shit ? Why Jeffie Why Jeffie Why Jeffie :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
HYDE: cause Im that little voice in your ear Jeffie and you just cant help yourself, and you are the problem.
JEFFIE: All I wanted to do was become famous, and rub shoulders with pros and camera jockeys.
HYDE: You know none of them want nothing to do with Us now because of your antics. It's all your fault Jeffie.!!!
JEFFIE: You told me to do it Hyde.
Hyde: You sure it wasn't that priest in confessional with the black outfit on !!!

drewerd's picture
drewerd's picture
drewerd Monday, 1 Jul 2013 at 2:10pm

can you please tell me the name of this software. i have a web business and would like to use it.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Monday, 1 Jul 2013 at 2:18pm

It's called Chartbeat.

savanovaovait's picture
savanovaovait's picture
savanovaovait Monday, 1 Jul 2013 at 3:45pm

where did the daily videos and stuff go?

nebasha's picture
nebasha's picture
nebasha Monday, 1 Jul 2013 at 3:49pm

you know what gives me the shits is that baldy is nr one on this list as well. isn't 11 world titles enough? Did you really have to cross the line by searching for your private jet on swellnet?