Wright's wishy-washy Open excuse
As the organisers of the Hurley Billabong Australian Open of Surfing are putting the final touches to their beachside big top the word has arrived that Rip Curl rider, Owen Wright, has pulled out of the competition.
Yesterday Owen's management notified event officials to inform them of his withdrawal. Apparently Owen is suffering from complications due to "dehydration". Owen was reportedly, "feeling fine, surfing and filming for one of his sponsors but after a long stint in the water his condition deteriorated."
Wright was due to surf his first heat in one weeks time on Thursday the 16th yet his management said the dehydration-related illness may possibly linger and they couldn't take the risk. Owen's manager, Kurt Jacobs, said of the mystery affliction, "We certainly hope he's okay by next Thursday and we assume he will be feeling okay by then," before adding, "but he might not."
Expanding on the vague ailment Jacobs said, "The diagnosis is still hazy, but the assumption is Owen will be okay as long as he gets a chance to rest."
A hazy diagnosis indeed...
Kurt Jacobs, can I have a quiet word with you? I'll be straight. The excuses you're using wouldn't have got me to the sick bay of the third-rate high school I attended let alone given me a week off to sit at home, watch soaps and eat cheese toasties. Which I'm sure is what Owen intends to do with his free time.
If you want to sound convincing then you've got to bring a doc onto the scene. Make it all official like and let him do the talking. Or, if you're gonna fly solo, then at least use some imagination. Dehydration is an entry-level excuse - you should aim higher. After all, pro surfers travel and expose themselves to many exotic diseases that provide a ready supply of excuses. Malaria is completely plausible. Golden staph too. Hell, you could even give dengue fever a run. Couldn't be less believable than the last person who tried it on.
But this dehydration business isn't a good look for your young charge. Consider this: The contest director at the Australian Open is 1988 world champion Barton Lynch. A bull-headed competitor in his day, Lynch was once asked what it would take for him to miss a heat. "Comatose in bed. Dead." was his stoic reply. Yet the Big O is flagging the comp because of a dry mouth.
See what I mean?
But perhaps I shouldn't be so blase about the potentially harmful effects of dehydration? After all, it wasn't that long ago - 2009 in fact - when Dane Reynolds had to be hooked up to an IV drip after three surfs and two macchiatos during the final day at Trestles. Surfing's macho image took a hit, that much is true, though the incident confirmed what we long suspected: Dane is a fragile, delicate genius. His suffering made sense to us.
Unfortunately, Owen, having never painted his own T-shirt, worn bright socks or read Steinbeck, can't be granted the same indulgence. Fragility won't be looked on fondly. My advice to you, Kurt, is to pour water on Owen's dehydration excuse. Wash your hands of it. Then take a leaf out of Dane's 2011 World Tour yearbook and blame Owen's no-show on sore ribs. It just sounds better that way.
Comments
Well we all know surfing management comes with a complimentary medical degree. Dengue anyone?
As an old school teacher once told me, the trick is to never use the same excuse twice. I don't believe any surfer has used Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome to get out of a comp yet, so that excuse is there for the taking.
mr rottmouth....do you smell a conspiracy ....?
Couldn't we make this a Rottmouth free zone? Just for once.
Sounds like kurt was caught on the hop and offered up the first thing that came into his head. Better than the dog ate his homework. Not sure how that one would apply to pro surfers anyway.
That's hilarious!
Sorry, Owen can't surf next week; he's too thirsty.
kurt kurt kurt kurt, cmon mate,that is pathetic..give us a bit more......6 days to rehydrate??? owen would have woken up many times seedy and dehydrated after contest celebrations and came good by midday ......
The truth would be a refreshing change.
how about I scratched my pinky and I want to heal properly. Or I can't find my favourite good luck boardies
I'm no doctor, but I believe the common cure for dehydration is to drink water.Surely you could drink an extra glass of water bewteen now and next week. Or maybe its too many Monster Energy drinks (a major sponsor). It doesn't really reflect very well on them that their boy is dehydrated.
Either just say you don't to compete or man up.
I'm no psychologist but for a small fee payable in advance I'd recommend a dose of harden the fuck up added liberally to the next bottle of Perrier.
And employing a manager who can figure out a half plausible excuse would'nt go astray either.
You've got to laugh though......sorry honey, I;m not drunk......just...dehydrated.
Zenagain: "The truth would be a refreshing change."
I know it would quench my curiosity.
dehydrated, i think we could pour cold water on that one, nothing to do with it being a hurley, billabong sponsored event and being a rip curl team rider is there?
Just going along with the dehydration diagnosis, the comp is 7 days away!!
If you can't rehydrate yourself in that amount of time there is something really wrong..
haha thats funny maybe a can of Solo would help?
Couldn't he have just said "nuh, I don't wanna"? Why come up with a pissweak excuse - it's not a WCT comp after all.
Freeride,
That is prolly one of the funniest posts I've read in months....
The truth! You can't handle the truth!
Stu, you've got to stop taking those press releases so fricken seriously!
But it's where the best material is, Mr Spleen. As Don Watson has his Muse, so do I.
spleen, this press release was like a good fart.
It blew thru in seconds, but they're still talking about it.
I wouldn't take this as Owens own reasons! As for Owen sitting at home watching soaps and eating toasties, obviously you don't know Owen very well!! Get off the hate train!
Definitely one of the more exciting surfers on tour, but, is this the same Owen Wright, or Owen Wilson(I'm so confused) that was blazing the caverns of Supertubos as a wildcard sometime in October of 2010, when he got broke off hard, came to shore, was diagnosed by "doctors" with a potentially broken ear drum, felt fine enough to jump back in, but Rip Curl team officials said no and Mick Fanning chanced into a bye to the final and a last kick to his title campaign? Can you say team player. Then, as reported by Mr. Pawle in The Australian, Owen, along with Davo, Travis Logie and Andy Irons all copped dengue fever. Weird coincidences man, just plain weird.
'fishy' and 'wishy-washy' ?
"Somethin' smells like fish baby,
somethin' from out of a can,
I can tell by the smell baby,
you've been humpin' with another man"
Country Joe and the Fi-Filsh
Kurt said O.W was sick so that means hes not going to compete . [stiff shit]. he dosent have to compete if he dosnt want to , if he was never going to surf again well that would be a story but this is pretty boring shit . oh by the way theres heaps of surfers not going in it and they also dont ride for billa bong or hurley
From SN's Facey page "Saw Owen surfing last Sunday, shooting for Rip Curl, wait for it...in a steamer. Water was 27 degrees, hot sunny day. Dehydration, plausable."
I heard this from the family: bloke surfed for hours on a stinking hot day in a steamer for a wetsuit ad, collapsed/lost consciousness with heat exhaustion/dehydration.
Buggered why his manager could'nt come on here and correct the public record.
I hope it wasn't the new season 4/3 H-Bomb...
Would have been cooking in one of those!
27 degree water ? ? ? collapsed - lost consciousness,fuck this is getting better and better.......did sarge drop his camera and give him mouth to mouth.
i think i saw him on whale beach rd yesterday
he was ripping even in his car
Swellnet is forcasting a huge wsw ground swell 4 meters plus at rotto ,at maybey 18 seconds, 6 to 7 meters down South with winds tending wsw by mid morning. Light e to ene winds fresh to start, down to around 5 knotts by around 9am for perth continuing easterly all day with max temps reaching 38 degrees. Just picked up my new 6 meter plate ally center console a week ago!
Call to Builder; Yeh mate it's me , it was a hot one yesterday, all the boys are fucked! me included! we won't be on site tommoza, the dok reconds we maybe dehydrated , anyways we'll start the roof the day after...
@timeberskills - HurleyBBong can afford to move the entire AOS from Sydney to Perth.
Real waves make a contest.
In last years Tour De France Johnny Hoogerland was hit by a car while doing 60 - 65 kmph, he was then thrown into a barb wire fence upside down. He finished racing that day, got over 30 stitches that night, and went on to win the overall king of the mountain category...... and all Owen needs is a drink of water?
hey z-man i'd much prefer the whole asp circus stay over east and other such places... real waves should be kept only for real surfers not asp dancers, prancers and posers, although we do have the drug aware and i think from memory there was one or two junior comps held over at rotto a number of times.. but yeh the aos could have potential over here for sure! and it would be even better if local community groups and organizations were able to sponser a loins share of the event? Are Hurley even aussie?
Owen is a good mate of mine ....Obviously poor media management has let him down here. "Preparation for the Quiky pro doesn't include the Australian open" is what should have been said.simple!!!!
owen needs to fuck off kurt . still no correction.
girls, this is a fart in a tea cup.
on par with Catherine's dress, and Lara's hail damage.
Don't treat the surfing populace as stupid by putting out stupid press release. Of course people will want to know where one of the 'stars' of Aussie surfing is. So give them the real story. Like Tick Tock said, this is a simple issue of media management
Owen Wright is number 3 in the world. He rips. After the ridiculous & disingenuous comments from his management caused understandable mirth, let him get on with preparing for the tour. He was clearly showing no physical ill effects based on his surfing at various North Coast beach breaks last week - guy was caning it forehand & backhand. Go Owen, you can win the thing! Tall-poppy haters can eat sh*t...
Ain't no Owen haters here Gibbo, I dig the dude and his surfing. Hell, I'm even willing to give him advice free of charge: Owen, go see Gatorade for a sponsorship endorsement. Perfect client/company relationship.
I heard that ripcurl made him surf three 2 hour sessions in a their new fullsuits at straddie, and that he got well and truly fucked up by it. Obviously there's more to it than this shallow article presents, give the guy a break. And comparing this to danes no shows is just wrong, this is a qs event, owen is openly committed to winning the world title this year, and not wanting to risk your preparation for surfing one foot manly slop is completely understandable.
*I heard that ripcurl made him surf three 2 hour sessions in a their new fullsuits at straddie, and that he got well and truly fucked up by it. *
*I'm no psychologist but for a small fee payable in advance I'd recommend a dose of harden the fuck up added liberally to the next bottle of Perrier.*
How about he hardens the fuck up and says to his employers (who are supposed to preserve their investment, if nothing else):
If you want me to shoot a wetsuit ad in January for your northern hemisphere market, fly me to the fucking northern hemisphere.
kurt, mate is owen o.k. now,is he well enough to surf at snapper ? did you get the sports drink sponser you were after.....