Last week the Daily Mail in England ran a story about a cow that fell in the ocean and bodysurfed its way back to the beach. The best thing about the story wasn't that it was true – it was, they had pictures - but the pun in the Daily Mail's headline, "Surf's Buttercup!".

Yeah, I know, it ain't that funny but then good surfing puns are extremely hard to come by. Which is a surprise considering the verb 'surf' gets used in every application from changing TV channels to browsing the internet and the surfing vocabulary is full of wonderfully evocative slang and neologisms.

But perhaps it's because the surfing world has such great words and terms to call upon that editors stick with the old faithfuls come title time. "Shareholders wiped out by Quiksilver", "Surfs up for Obama!", "Billabong hoping for an Endless Summer" are typical fare when a surf story makes the mainstream news. As are references to chairmen of the board, swell times, and every iteration of Big Wednesday.

The last one seems to be the go-to pun for editors in a bind. The constant regurgitation of Big Wednesday, that eminently quotable but entirely humdrum surf film is not just a signal of an editors lack of imagination but also surfing's lack of cultural vibrancy. Big Wednesday is, after all, 35 years old.

Slightly bucking the trend is the ever-reliable Sun newspaper in England which recently ran a story about Gordon Ramsay going surfing under the headline, "In Gord's Hands". Obviously someone at the Sun surfs. And for your information, no, I don't think In God's Hands was better than Big Wednesday. The point being it isn't as dated.

When it comes to actual surfing magazines I believe editors should be allowed even less latitude than their non-surfing counterparts regarding Big Wednesday references. If I had my way anyone using Big Wednesday in a non-ironic sense would have their keyboard disemvoweled and told to write a 2000 word essay justifying their position. For each spelling mistake a hot drawing pin would be inserted under their fingernails.

There's always been a distinct lack of good headline puns in surfing magazines. Of course we had the "Irons Age" and Slater's eighth world title turned him into "Sl8er" which left editors scratching their heads for a clever way to express his ninth and tenth titles. "Xlater" never really flew but the race to publish the first "Ke11y" headline will be more intense than the title itself should Old Baldy get that far.

"Lightning strikes twice" appeared numerous times in the surfing world when Mick 'White Lightning' Fanning won his second. But on that note: Is White Lightning really Mick's nickname? Can anyone verify this? It may sound fast yet it takes twice as long to say than his name. I like my nicknames short. I'll stick with Mick.

Fortunately, the inclusion of the Gudauskas brothers in surfing's top tier has increased the potential for a good pun. I'm personally rooting for a Gudauskas to win just so the headline "Gudang smokes the pack" can get some airplay.

***** 

Earlier I mentioned the Sun newspaper in the UK. Not known for high-brow journalism the Sun has nevertheless produced some of the best headlines I've read. Here are a few:

When Sting was caught coming out of a house of ill-repute, "Sting's massage in a brothel". When French soccer player, Eric Cantona, kicked a supporter in the face, "The shit hits the fan!". Above a photograph of two birds - a Kestrel and a Barn Owl - fighting they ran the headline, "Hawk Kestrel manoeuvres in the park". And after the car belonging to Argentinian racing driver, Pedro Diniz, caught fire, "Diniz in the oven".